He shook himself from his thoughts and focused on his brothers again. “I can’t leave now without annoying Ainsley, and since I’ve been pissing her off more often than not recently, I don’t plan to do it again.”
“Good man.” Dare snorted. “Now, come over here and finish off the cake with us then head home. You’re tired, we get it. Don’t overwork yourself trying to do it all.”
“I don’t.” Another lie.
“Yeah, you do. We’re all like that, but I’m pretty sure you do it the most.” Fox sipped from his glass, meeting Loch’s gaze.
“True enough. Let me get some cake, and then I’ll head out. Sounds like a plan.”
Dare gripped Loch’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze before the three of them made their way over to the others. His mother did indeed give Loch a look, but he sidled up next to Ainsley and sipped his drink—just one since he already had a headache—and ate the cake Ainsley handed to him. Eventually, he had more fun than he thought he would and was glad his brothers had pulled him over. He loved his family, liked spending time with them, but he sometimes forgot not to live in his head, constantly dealing with his own problems.
By the time they parted ways, each of the siblings and their women going to their own houses, and Loch’s parents off to pick up Dare’s son and Misty for a slumber party, Loch was ready for bed.
“Mind if I go with you to your house?” Ainsley asked. “I know you’re tired, but I left my laptop there earlier like an idiot, and I need it for tomorrow morning.”
Loch took his best friend’s hand and gave it a squeeze. He’d been a jerk all night and hated that he’d acted like he had. Ainsley froze and gave him a weird look but didn’t react otherwise.
“Of course. You need me to drive you home after? Your car is at your house, right?” They waved at everyone as they left, but Loch kept his hand on hers, wanting to make sure she knew he was sorry for being an asshole.
“I can walk easily enough. It’s not that late, and it’s a decent night for a walk.” Ainsley didn’t move her hand from his, and he took it as a sign that she forgave him. Or she’d forgotten that she was holding his hand. Or was possibly chilled, since it was the end of winter in Pennsylvania.
“Then let’s get out of the cold,” Loch said quickly as they walked down the sidewalk, passing tourists and townsfolk, who were on their way to other places along the main road of Whiskey. A lot of the town’s income came from tourism, and while the weather might not be too cold at the moment, it was still their downtime.
There was snow coming, Loch could feel it. Once it stopped and stayed on the trees surrounding the old buildings and landmarks, people would come in droves again to take photos and buy trinkets. Some would stay longer for a meal at his brother’s place, maybe rent a room at the family inn Kenzie ran. Others would join a dance class at Melody’s studio or stop by Loch’s gym for a workout. They would read the paper with Fox’s stories, and talk about what was going on in the world as they strolled Whiskey’s streets. Those that lived locally would send their children to Ainsley’s school. All of them were connected to the town in some way. Even if they tried to get away, Whiskey was a part of them.
“How goes school?” He pulled Ainsley close as someone bumped into her, and she leaned into him as they made their way to his house.
“Tiring, but worth it. I love my kids this year, even though I swear the grading is worse than ever. I’m looking forward to spring break, and we’re only halfway there from winter break as it is.”
He smiled down at her. “I did the same when I was a student. Never really thought of how the teachers felt.”
She rolled her eyes and grinned up at him. He swallowed hard, wondering why he couldn’t get his mind off her lips tonight.
“No one ever does. And, here we are. It’s chillier than I thought it was.”
He tugged her close as they made their way to the front of his house. “I should have given you my coat.”
She shrugged as she pulled away, letting him open the front door. “I have my own on. I’m not that cold, Loch. Winter isn’t over yet, but it’s not that bad at the moment.”
“Bite your tongue, woman. Don’t encourage Mother Nature. Now, where is your laptop?”
“I’ve got it. Thanks for this, Loch. I need to get a few things done if I want to make my date tomorrow.”
Loch froze. Surely, he’d heard her wrong.
“Date?”
Ainsley turned and gave him a look that could have peeled paint off the wall. “Yes. A date. I haven’t accepted as of yet, but a friend asked me out, and I said I’d let him know tonight if I was free. Got a problem with that, Loch?”
He stuffed his hands into his pockets, wondering how he’d fucked everything up so badly again. “Didn’t know you were dating.”
“You never asked. I date, Loch.”
“Not often.” He winced as she punched his shoulder. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“You’re an idiot. I’ve already told you that tonight, but I figured I’d say it again. I don’t date often because I don’t have time, not because I’m not desirable.”
His brows shot up. “Whoa, I didn’t say that. I didn’t even mention anything like that. Now, who is this guy? And why am I just now hearing about him?”
“You’re fucking kidding me right now. Seriously? Does it matter? I don’t tell you everything, Loch. And don’t act so surprised someone actually asked me out. Maybe if you actually saw me, you wouldn’t be so surprised.”
“I see you.” He whispered the words, but he wasn’t sure she’d heard him.
“Maybe if you saw me as someone other than your friend, someone who isn’t just the one who’s always here, you’d actually see that I’m dateable. I’ve seen the way you look at me when I’m near other men. Like that one night when you thought I was with Fox. And yet you do nothing about it. You stand there and act surprised that I’m going on a date, yet you won’t even look at me. You don’t see me.”
Loch growled low before taking a step closer to her. “I see you, Ainsley. That’s the fucking problem.”
Then, he took her mouth with his and knew he’d made a mistake at the first touch.
But she didn’t back away.
And neither did he.
Chapter 2
Loch knew he should back away from Ainsley, but at that first, sweet taste of whiskey and woman, he knew he was addicted.
He’d never kissed Ainsley before.
Never allowed himself to get this close.
Never allowed himself to even think about it.
Now, it was all he could think about because she was in his arms, and his mouth was on hers. He knew he should back away and forget that this ever happened.
But he couldn’t.
Ainsley pulled away first, but he was the one to take two steps back, his chest heaving. He could still taste her on his tongue, still craved her.
“What…what was that?” Her words came out with a bit of a bite, and he knew he’d deserve it if she punched him in the gut—or worse.
“You said I didn’t see you,” he growled out. “I see you, Ainsley. And like I said, that’s the problem.”
He’d repeated the words, yet he still didn’t know what they meant. Not really. He needed to figure out what the hell was going on in his head. But it was as if something had come over him. He hadn’t been able to hold back from acting on the thoughts that had been in the back of his mind for longer than he cared to admit.
Ainsley’s chest rose and fell as she stared at him, and he couldn’t help but notice the hard points of her nipples pressing against her shirt. He’d done his best not to look before, to never allow the parts of her that were woman enter his mind for fear that it would ruin it all.
Ainsley was his…everything. Damn it. His best friend. His confidante. Part of his soul.
She couldn’t be more.
Not when he’d fuck it all up and ruin whatever they had on a chance that could never work out.
He wasn’t the guy women loved for long. They left when they got tired. His job, his past was too hard for them. They weren’t safe.
Ainsley, his Ainsley, wouldn’t be safe.
She shook her head then took a step toward him.
He didn’t move back.
“You can’t just…you can’t just change things.” She was right in front of him now, so close he could feel the heat of her on his skin. There was something in her expression he couldn’t make out, and it worried him because he could always read her face.
At least he thought he could.
Maybe he’d been wrong this entire time.
Maybe he was wrong now.
Loch didn’t know what to say, but when she put her hand on his chest, he knew he’d be making one more mistake tonight.
Throwing caution to the wind, he lowered his head, took her mouth, and lost himself in her.
She didn’t pull away, didn’t take a step back. Instead, she put her other hand on Loch’s chest, her fingernails digging into his shirt. Their kiss was rough, needy, all tongues and teeth.
Somehow, he pushed her back to the couch, needing more of her. Her hands moved to his back, sliding up under his shirt so her skin was on his.
“More,” she breathed, and he growled.
“Done.”
Then, he had his hands on her ass, lifting her up so she sat on the edge of the couch, her legs spread, and his body fitting firmly between her thighs. He wanted her pants off, her clothes in a heap beside them. He wanted to be inside her, wanted to touch her, wanted to know her.
She bit his jaw, and he moved a bit to take her mouth, his hands roaming over her body. She wrapped her legs around his waist, arching into him when he gently bit down on her neck.
“Loch.”
He liked his name on her lips. Wanted more of it. When he tugged on the bottom of her shirt, she lifted her arms above her head so he could strip it off. Then, he was staring down at her bra-clad breasts, his mouth watering as he finally gazed where he’d told himself never to look.
He cupped one full breast in his hand, his thumb gently grazing her nipple through the lace, and met her gaze. He didn’t say anything, wasn’t sure he could. And since she didn’t say anything either, Loch figured they were both thinking the same thing.
One word could shatter the moment.
One word could remind them both that this was a bad fucking idea.
So, he didn’t say a damn word.
And neither did she.
He leaned down, kissed between her breasts, sucked on her nipples through her bra before reaching around to undo the clasp. Her breasts fell heavily into his hands, and he covered them with kisses, licks, and attention. She moaned, her hand running through his hair, reminding him that he needed to get a haircut.
That thought was cut short when she raked her nails down his back, reminding him where he was and exactly what he was doing. He needed more of her, needed all of her. He shifted their position so her feet were on the ground and he could pull down her pants. She helped him, working on his shirt and belt at the same time. Soon, they were both standing naked in front of each other, years of history and who they were to one another pulsating between them even as they ignored it.
Then, they were on the couch, his body hovering over hers as he kissed her again, her legs spread, and his lower body pressed firmly to hers. He didn’t move, didn’t thrust, not when he wanted to savor.
But Ainsley apparently wasn’t about to let him go slow.
She trailed her foot down the back of his calf, pressing him closer to her. He pulled away slightly, knowing they needed a condom before they did anything. Instead, he slid down her body, leaving kisses and long licks along the way.
When he settled himself between her legs, he groaned then spread her with his fingers so he could study her down below. He looked up into her face, and she stared back at him with hooded eyes, licking her lips.
“I have a condom in my purse.”
He wasn’t going to think about the whys of that, so he gave her a tight nod then lowered his head, taking her into his mouth. She bucked as he sucked on her clit, licking along her slit and using his fingers to tease her. She shook under him, under his care, and when she came on his face, he didn’t stop licking at her cunt, wanting her to go over the edge one more time before he took her.
Hard.
When she came down for the second time, her sweetness was branded on his tongue. He stood up, his cock bouncing against his stomach. He made his way to her purse, rummaging around until he found the single condom tucked into a pocket. He turned back to her, opening the package and sliding the condom over his length as he met her gaze.
She swallowed hard, her chest rising as she sucked in a breath. Loch couldn’t help but watch the way her pink-tipped breasts rose and fell as she did so. It made his mouth water. All he wanted to do was fill her, be with her, have her as his.
And because Loch knew he’d look into her eyes as he filled her and, if he weren’t careful, fuck everything up more than he already had, he prowled toward her, took her hips in his hands, and flipped her over onto her stomach. She let out a gasp then gripped the edge of the couch, looking over her shoulder at him.
He’d known she was beautiful, had done his best to ignore that fact the entire time he’d known her. But right then, with her eyes dark with pleasure, her lips swollen from his kisses, and her body arched, ready for him, he knew he’d never forget this moment for as long as he lived.
Then, he was on her, his hands digging into her hips as he slid inside.
Bliss.
Pure fucking bliss.
She was his drug, his agony, his everything.
He pushed even deeper, their breaths coming in pants as he tried not to think about the meaning of the thoughts that had just rushed through his mind.
Ainsley’s head fell back, and he slid in and out of her, slowly at first since she was so damn tight and hot that he didn’t want to hurt her. Then, faster. Soon, he was pounding in and out of her, her lush ass pushing back at him, meeting him thrust for thrust. He slid one hand around in front of her, sliding a finger over her swollen clit peeking out from below its hood.
Then, she came again, squeezing his cock, and he couldn’t hold back anymore. He slammed into her without abandon, sweat sliding down the middle of his back as he took her, branded her, marked her. And when he came, he shouted her name, one hand on her breast, the other probably leaving bruises on her hip.
As Loch fought to catch his breath, he lay next to Ainsley and wondered what the fuck they were going to do next. The fact that he’d slept with Ainsley without thinking of the consequences of his actions, of their actions, told him that he was the asshole she’d called him earlier in the evening.
“I need to go.” Ainsley suddenly shot up, pulling on her clothes as she practically scurried away from him.
“Ainsley.” He hated talking, hated sharing his feelings and what he was thinking, but he couldn’t let the best thing in his life—other than his daughter—walk out of the house as if she’d done something wrong.
Because if anyone had done anything wrong, it was him.
It was always him.
“Don’t. I need to get home and work and…and…fuck it, Loch. I need to think.” She turned then, wearing only her pants and a bra as she stared at him. “Let me think, because I have no idea what just happened.”
He stood up then, taking care of the condom in a tissue before pulling up his jeans. “I don’t know either.”
“And words like that aren’t helping, so I’m going to go, get some sleep, and maybe, in the morning, we’ll figure out what the hell just happened. Because we’ve never done that before, and from the way you’re looking at me, I don’t know if you regret it already or not.”
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have the words. Ainsley’s expression fell.
“I see.”
“Ainsley.” She didn’t see. He didn’t, so ho
w could she?
“Don’t. Don’t say anything. I can’t deal with this right now and, frankly, I don’t think either of us should.” She looked up again when she was fully dressed. He could see the pain in her eyes, and he had no idea how to fix it.
He always fixed things.
But he didn’t know if he could fix them.
Ainsley didn’t say another word and, because he was just as lost as she apparently was, he let her walk out the door without stopping her. He hadn’t meant to kiss her, hadn’t meant to touch her, hadn’t meant to learn what she felt like beneath him.
And yet, he had. And now they both had to deal with what happened next.
He could still taste her on his tongue, and he didn’t want to wash it down with whiskey or beer. Instead, he pulled on the rest of his clothes, grabbed his gear, and headed to his gym. He’d work off the feelings racing inside him at what felt like a thousand miles per hour.
He’d never let himself think of Ainsley as anything more than his best friend before, and that had been for a reason. He didn’t do relationships. He fucked them up and pushed people away. He’d had to do it in his old job—to keep them safe, and to keep himself safe, as well.
Loch needed Ainsley in his life, he had for years. Because she was his rock, his anchor. He knew it wasn’t fair to either of them for him to only think of her that way. Besides, what could he give her?
Nothing.
Not to mention, he could ruin Ainsley’s relationship with his daughter if he pursued anything with Ainsley. So, he’d ignore what happened. Act as if everything were fine, and the two of them could just move on.
It had been a mistake.
It couldn’t happen again.
He’d bury what he was feeling about their night deep down and hope to hell and back Ainsley didn’t hate him come morning.
He already hated himself enough.
Loch stuffed his hands into his pockets as the temperature dropped with the setting of the sun and walked the few blocks to his gym. He could have driven, but he needed the walk and the cool air to clear his head. He couldn’t get Ainsley from his mind. She’d always been there, but never like this.
Whiskey Undone (Whiskey and Lies Book 3) Page 2