His expression didn’t change and she could feel his enjoyment at her discomfort. When he spoke though his voice was calm, “I can manage to sit up but it would be easier if you helped. If you lean down I can hold onto you.”
Feeling foolish she held the pillows in one hand, straining not to drop them, and leaned over the bed until her face was almost next to his. He wrapped his left arm around her neck and she slid her free hand behind his back. His breath was light against her cheek, and before she could think to stop herself she moved slightly until their cheeks were touching and breathed deeply, inhaling the reassuringly familiar scent that always clung to him, something like wood smoke. She straightened up slowly, pulling him into a sitting position. This close, touching skin to skin his emotions filled her as solidly as her own and she was embarrassed both to be reading him and at his overwhelming relief. He didn’t think I was coming to see him, she thought, ashamed of her own cowardice. I should have come sooner, not waited because I was afraid he blamed me. Of course he gave up on seeing me. Gods I am such a crappy friend. He takes a freaking bullet for me and I wait three days to visit him in the clinic…
She pulled back slightly when he was upright, trying to position the pillows behind him, but he clung to her, refusing to let her move away. Despite the difficulty she finally managed to get the pillows set up, more or less where she wanted them. She leaned forward, pressing against him to try to gently lower him back onto the pillows but still he held tightly to her. She braced both her arms on the bed, but he didn’t relent. Finally, exasperated, she said, “Bleidd, you need to let go now so I can stand back up.”
“No,” he said simply.
“No? What do you mean no?” she asked, smiling despite her annoyance. “This isn’t the most comfortable position.”
“Feel free to climb onto the bed with me,” he said archly, some of his usual spirit in the words.
“Bleidd!” she snorted, trying not to laugh and encourage him.
“There’s plenty of room,” he said, his arm tightening slightly so that she could not pull away without risking hurting his bad shoulder.
“This is ridiculous,” Allie quipped, “I’m negotiating a hostage situation where I’m the hostage.”
He laughed lightly, the sound a ghost of its usual self, but still a laugh and Allie felt her own spirits lift. “Well then shouldn’t I tell you my demands?”
“Oh now I’m afraid,” she couldn’t control the nervous giggle that snuck out, suddenly genuinely worried. She could think of many things that Bleidd might say next and all of them would create a conflict of interest for her, especially since she felt a huge obligation to him after what had happened.
“Then I shall keep this simple. I will let you go if you will lay next to me in the bed.”
“Bleidd!” she said his name again, not entirely surprised by his request but unsure if it was a good idea. Not only because it would let him make jokes later about getting her into bed – which he would – but because she didn’t want to hurt him. He had come close to dying, closer than she liked to think about, and even with magical healing and his own innate elven ability to heal more quickly than a human would he was still physically fragile.
“Allie!” he mimicked her tone exactly. “Why not? I’m not asking you to do anything untowards. We are both fully clothed and in what passes for a hospital in this town. I just want to have you next to me, not perched on a chair across the room.”
She wanted to point out that she could pull the chair up next to the bed, but he had a point that there really wasn’t any reason to say no, except that she was uncomfortable about the mere idea of being in any sort of bed with him. But what’s he going to do? Allie thought He’s recovering from a serious injury, even if he wanted to try to take advantage of the situation he’s not in a position to do anything. And it’s such a small thing to ask. It must be hard for him, with the way elves are so used to casual physical contact to be trapped alone in this bed in this human run place. That last thought made up her mind for her and sighing she relented. “Okay.”
“Okay?” he sounded cautious, and she rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, okay. Let me go and I’ll climb up next to you.”
Slowly, his emotions echoing his disbelief, he relaxed back against the pillows, releasing her. She straightened up, stretching to ease her back after staying in that awkward position. And then true to her word she sat on edge of the bed next to him, and scooting back a bit swung her legs up. He reached up, wrapping his good arm around her shoulders and pulling her back against his shoulder until she was lying down next to him, her head on his chest. It was not the most comfortable position either, especially since she was trying not to rest her full weight on him, worried about his injury, but she could feel him relaxing and that made her feel a little bit better.
“Thank you Allie,” he said softly in Elvish.
She sighed, not in the mood to deal with the convoluted language, but replied in kind. “For what?”
“For coming to visit me, and for…this,” he said.
“Don’t thank me for visiting, I should have come sooner,” then after a slight pause, afraid to ask but needing to know, “How are you feeling?”
“I can hardly complain since I should by all rights be dead and feeling nothing,” he said.
She started to sit up, trying to pull away from him. “Don’t say that.”
His hand tightened around her shoulder, holding her down, “I won’t talk about if it upsets you Allie. Please, stay.”
She was surprised by the genuine distress she felt from him. Overwhelmed by his need for her company, she settled back down, feeling his relief with him. “No I want to know. Are you okay?”
“I will mend. The pain is less today than it was yesterday, and that was less than the day before. I believe, as do the doctors, that I will be fully recovered within the week.”
“Be glad you’re an elf,” she said shaking her head slightly. “If you were human it would be a different story.”
They were both silent for several minutes, and when he spoke again his voice was serious, “I owe you my life.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head.
“Yes, Allie, I do. I would have died if not for you. You healed me,” his voice was soft again, almost puzzled. “I don’t pretend to know how you did it, but I am certain that you did. I remember the pain and falling…and the certainty that I was dying. And then suddenly warmth and light and life returned, and I knew, despite the pain, that I would live. And somehow you did that.”
She lay against his shoulder, trembling as she remembered the events of that day. The blood everywhere, the terrible wound, the gurgling sound as he tried to breath and couldn’t. And most of all the terrible thing she had done to save him. “I could not let you die Bleidd.”
His arm tightened around her, this time not confining but comforting. She accepted the reassurance, still torn by the guilt of what she’d done. “Yes, and that means more to me than I can say,” he said. “I know whatever you did was something exceptional…”
“Not exceptional,” she broke in bitterly. “Evil maybe, but not…you just, you have to understand that I didn’t have a choice. There was no other way, nothing else that I knew to do. And I could not sit there and watch you die.”
“What did you do?” he asked, his voice gentle.
She took a long breath to brace herself and then decided to tell him the truth, even if he hated her for it. “I used a spell from my grandmother’s grimoire. It…I took the life force from all the birds in the area and used that energy to heal you. I wasn’t sure it would work because I was substituting birds for…for what the spell originally called for and I didn’t know if the healing would be enough…but I had to do something. Anything. I had to do it.”
He was silent for a long time, his arm relaxing, his hand gently stroking her arm. When he did speak his voice was low. “Who knows about this?”
She inclined her head slightly in an el
ven shrug. “That I did something to save you? That was pretty obvious to everyone I think. What exactly I did, only Jess.”
“And he has not told anyone?” his words were sharper now, and she could taste his worry in the air.
“No,” she said. “No one.”
“Allie, you must not tell anyone else what you did, not the details of it,” he said. The urgency in his voice grabbed her attention. “Not even Jason, but especially not anyone else in the Elven Guard. Using death magic is forbidden, and the punishment is…exceptionally harsh.”
She closed her eyes, nodding in agreement. “I assumed it wasn’t allowed, and the way the Guard is the punishment would be harsh.”
“I’m serious Allie,” he said.
“I know you are,” she replied, puzzled.
“Death magic is one of the only forms of magic that is entirely banned, without exception,” he said grimly. “Even during the Great Wars after the Sundering it was not used. The only thing that has kept suspicion off of you so far, I’d wager, is that it is so ingrained in the Bright court not to use that as an energy source that it’s almost unthinkable.” His hand tightened protectively on her shoulder, pulling her in closer against his chest, and she could feel his worry growing.
“I didn’t know that,” she said softly.
“Allie…” he hesitated, but she could guess what he wanted to ask. They had never talked about her past, before she came to Ashwood, except in the most general terms. Her last comment though, admitting ignorance of something that should have been well known to anyone raised in the Bright court, had given away too much. She was surprised at how relieved she felt to suddenly have that aspect of her past out in the open with him.
“I was born into the Dark court,” she told him simply, intentionally extending her empathy to read his reaction. His emotions barely changed. She sent up a silent prayer in thanks that he hadn’t shoved her away or been filled with disgust. She had expected more of a reaction though. “You already suspected?”
“After you were hurt in your store… you spoke of the Dark court then as someone who was familiar with it. I wondered if you had spent time there, but it seemed rude to ask, especially under the circumstances,” he said.
“It makes no difference to you? That I was born into the Dark?” she asked, her voice soft but the question sharp.
“I spent 60 years as an Outcast losing myself in drink and pleasure,” he whispered back just as softly, his hand stroking her hair. “Our past does not define who we are as people now.”
It was a very un-elven thing to say. The elves put a lot of stock in a person’s clan, parentage, and personal accomplishments; to say those things didn’t matter as much as who the person was now was quite scandalous. “I’m glad you think so, since there isn’t anything I can do about who my mother is.”
She could feel him nodding slightly. He was silent again for a moment, and when he did speak again his voice was very serious. “Allie, you need to understand that the punishment for using such magic is to have your magical ability, your daan, stripped from you.”
She struggled to hide her shock. “How…is that even possible?”
“It is a very high level magic, but every Guard captain can do it. It’s considered a punishment worse than death, because it strips away an essential part of the person and they must live the rest of their lives without it. Without any magic,” he said, his own horror at the thought evident.
She bit her lip, suddenly realizing how close she had come to total disaster. If Jess had felt compelled to tell the others what she had told him…she felt herself going cold. Why didn’t he? she wondered. She had always assumed his duty to the Guard would trump his affection for her, yet he had kept silent and protected her, even when she violated one of the Bright court’s most vital laws. It should have been comforting, but it wasn’t. It disturbed her on a very deep level that he was so enamored with her that he would violate his own closely held principles to protect her when she did something that even she could not deny was a terrible thing, no matter what her reason was for doing it. Bleidd shifted slightly, snapping her back to reality. She spoke to reassure herself as much as him, “I won’t tell anyone else. I thought you had a right to know though.”
“Thank you,” he said, sighing. His hand tightened slightly, pulling her closer and he leaned his head down so that her head was tucked under his chin. “We never need speak of it again. It explains some of the strangeness about the healing itself and it is good to know what was done.”
She nodded slightly, content to never mention it again. They lay together for a while, not speaking, and she slowly relaxed. There were still unspoken things between them, and she hadn’t forgotten that they had been fighting about his feelings for her, and her inability to deny how she felt about him, right before he was shot. That was the real elephant in the room, making the means of his healing and its possible consequences look irrelevant. She spoke again to fill the silence. “I found some gremlins today.”
“Gremlins?” he asked. She couldn’t see his face with her head tucked down against his chest but she imagined the curious look based on his emotions.
“Mmmmhmmm,” she murmured. “In the police impound lot. They said that they had been set there by elves.”
He tensed and she sat up slightly, twisting around so that she could look him in the face. “I think,” she continued, “that it’s safe to assume they meant Dark court elves.”
He met her eyes and held them, his expression giving nothing away, but his emotions sharp and concerned. “Have you told this to Jessilaen?”
She nodded without breaking eye contact. “Yes.”
He waited for her to elaborate and when she didn’t he finally spoke again, “They would not be moved to do such a thing unless they were moving or planning to move against Ashwood in some way.”
“Or Queen Naesseryia’s Holding,” Allie said softly. “If they can stir up enough trouble in Ashwood by setting some of the Lesser Fey on humans they could weaken her or at least make her look weak. That would make it easier for them to influence her realm directly.”
His expression turned grim. “There’s another possibility Allie. They could still be trying to get to you, to see what you know from your grandmother’s book.”
She blanched, pulling back further and shaking her head, “No. No I can’t believe that. That was months ago. And why would they…no.”
“Allie…”
“No,” she said more forcefully. In her mind she saw flashes of her captivity and felt a shadow of remembered pain shoot through her bad ankle. Shuddering she fought to push the memories away, gratefully that she had enough healing herself now to be able to. Even a week ago what he was saying would have sent her into an uncontrollable panic attack; as it was she felt her anxiety spiraling up until she could feel Jess’s attention being drawn to her. She shook her head again, trying to banish the images. “No Bleidd. I can’t believe that.”
Something in her face must have told him more than her words were saying because he nodded slightly, still looking concerned, “Alright, we don’t have to talk about it. In any case I will be home soon, and well enough to protect you should any need arise.”
Allie closed her eyes, groaning inwardly at the realization that he didn’t know Jess had moved in. As tempting as it was to not tell him, she felt like she owed it to him to let him know that someone he did not especially like was living in the same house now. “Ummmm. About that. The house I mean. And coming home….”
She trailed off and he reached up, his fingers brushing the hair out of her face. In her mind she heard Jess’s voice suddenly, calling her. She swore to herself, feeling overwhelmed, then thought back quickly “It’s okay Jess. I’m visiting Bleidd at the clinic.”
“What is it?” Bleidd asked, his voice gentle.
“Jess is staying at the house,” she told him, afraid to meet his eyes but unable to avoid his emotions. “After the shooting, with you almost dying and no one be
ing sure who was supposed to be the target, the Guard had wanted me to go stay at the Outpost and I refused, so he is staying at the house instead.”
She had expected many different reactions, but he was calm. “Yes I can see why they would want to be assured of your safety. What are their current theories on the shooting?”
“Well, the shooter knew detective Walters, and she also knew the new killer, Standish, so the joint task force has been reformed. They aren’t sure who killed her yet, but they’ve had to admit that everything seems to be tied together somehow,” Allie said, trying to summarize everything. In her mind she felt Jess reaching out to her, his words colored by something she couldn’t quite define – not jealousy exactly, something more like distress – nothing she had expected to feel from Jess when the topic was Bleidd, “Is he recovering? Does it upset you to see him injured so badly?”
“I think he is very lonely here in this human place,” she thought back, knowing she sounded defensive. “And he is in pain and worried. I am not sorry that I came to visit him.”
Jess sounded less upset and more thoughtful then, “Yes, it must be hard for him to be there with only humans around him. I had not thought of that.”
Bleidd blinked slowly, trying to process all the implications. “Why would this person want to kill me? Because I was protecting you? Or as a warning to scare you off?”
“Well, personally I think maybe the second one,” Allie said. “But the police and some of the Guard aren’t totally convinced that I wasn’t the one who was supposed to be killed.”
His look sharpened again, his eyes narrowing, “Why? What am I not being told? Did something else happen?”
“No,” she said shaking her head. “Well, I don’t know what they told you actually.”
He sighed, his chest rising and falling beneath her. “That I was shot in the back, which I remembered well enough myself, and that when the Elven Guard arrived my injury had been partially healed and stabilized, which I knew you had done. I am just as pleased by that anyway, I’d much rather be primarily in your debt rather than Brynneth’s.”
Into the Twilight: a Between the Worlds Novel Page 7