Allie was tucked against Jess’s side and she could feel him relax at his brother’s words, even as she felt the flow of worry and tension from the Guard captain. It was a bit disorienting. She shook her head slightly. “Thank you for the generous offer, once again captain, but I really want to stay here. As long as it’s not putting anyone else in danger…”
Zarethyn’s hand squeezed her shoulder gently, and he smiled reassuringly. “I think it unlikely that they will try to attack you again here, knowing how well protected you are.”
“And if they do,” Jess added his tone still challenging, his eyes on his brother, “then we will see that it is the last thing they do.”
The rain that had been threatening finally broke, fat drops hitting the ground and bouncing off of the elves armor. Jess pulled Allie back and she went without resisting, Zarethyn’s hand slipping off her shoulder. With a last nod to the Elven Guard captain she, Jess, and Brynneth headed quickly for the shelter of the house.
Allie’s hand found the light switch on the wall without thought as she walked in the back door and the overhead lights flickered on, illuminating the kitchen. The rain had fallen hard as they had crossed the last section of yard and water now dripped off their clothes and bodies onto the linoleum, puddling around all of them. Allie shivered again, her eyes moving over the familiar kitchen as if she was expecting something different to be there. She felt herself starting to shake, not from the cold or rain, but from a deep internal conflict as her mind struggled against a rising sense of panic which came up against the healing that Brynneth had been giving her to help handle the emotional trauma she’d been through. She didn’t want to leave her home, and her stubborn determination to stay there had become almost an obsession which she clung to in defiance of everything. And yet she looked around now and she felt a deep seated fear that she was not safe here anymore, that nothing was safe anymore.
The next thing she knew Jess was shaking her gently, but hard enough to force her to focus on him. His worried face filled her field of vision and she could hear his voice as if he were speaking from very far away. “Allie? Allie, answer me.”
Brynneth was there with him, his face also close, his concern for her less immediate than Jess’s but also clearly present. She looked slowly from one elf to the other, thinking over and over if I hadn’t sensed them, if I’d stayed in the house, if I’d tripped, if I hadn’t gotten up when I fell, if I ran just a little bit slower…her own voice startled her when she spoke, harsh and low. “I won’t let him hurt me again, I won’t go through that again. I’ll kill myself first.”
She felt Jess’s horror at her words and she threw a hand up to cover her mouth, tears spilling over, “I’m sorry I don’t know why I said that.”
Jess pulled her against his body, his armor gone now, his clothing soft as she burrowed her face into his chest to hide her weeping. Wordlessly he surrounded her with his love and worry and she took a deep breath instinctively pulling in his emotions, using them to strengthen herself and recover her own emotional equilibrium. Brynneth reached out and touched the back of her neck, then pulled away. “It’s going to be alright Allie. Keep letting Jess’s emotions ground you.”
Allie shuddered harder, trying momentarily to fight against the instinctive way her body pulled in what he was feeling and transmuted those feelings into energy she could use. It was futile, like holding her breath after a short time she could feel herself straining against the deprivation. She gave in and let herself take what she needed as he rubbed her back and wrapped his feelings around her like a physical weight. She was suddenly aware though that while taking from Jess in that moment was out of her control she was able to fairly easily resist pulling from Brynneth, even though she could also sense his emotions, albeit less strongly.
“Better?” Bryn asked her after several minutes.
She stepped back slightly from Jess, still held within the loose circle of his arms. The truth was having absorbed Jess’s radiating emotions she did feel better, less shocky and on the edge of a panic attack and more stable. She hated to admit that though when it made her feel like the basest Dark court creature, using another living thing’s energy as food. “A little. I’m sorry I said that. I’m just upset. I thought…I thought that was all behind me.”
“It is behind you,” Jess said gently.
“But it isn’t,” Allie said, as Brynneth watched impassively. “Not as long as he’s out there, still trying to get me.”
“Why do you think he came back for you Allie?” Brynneth asked quietly.
“It must be about the book again,” she said slowly. The two elves exchanged a long look that made Allie shake her head. “I can’t believe after a couple months he decided to come after me for some sort of personal reason. That doesn’t make any sense. But if he – his people – still want what was in the book, then, well that I can understand.”
Brynneth’s expression turned grim. “If that is so Allie then they will not stop pursuing you until they have what they seek.”
It was Jess who shook his head then, his arms tightening trying to pull her back in against his body. “I will not discount that he may have a personal reason for seeking you out. And I will not allow you to be harmed again.”
Allie closed her eyes, for a moment feeling overwhelmed by everything that was going on – the shooting, the murders, trying to root out whatever conspiracy might be behind the murders, now the reappearance of the Dark court elves. She wanted to run away and hide, to find somewhere safe. For an instant she was actually tempted to go to the Outpost… This is too much for me! I’m not a cop or a warrior. I’m not even a fighter. I just want my normal life back… and then she felt a surge of resolve. She felt something break inside, as if she had reached some internal limit and then surpassed it. No. No more running, she thought with unexpected hardness. No more fear. What good has it done? I’m afraid of getting hurt but being afraid doesn’t keep me safe, it doesn’t keep me from getting hurt it just makes me miserable. I can’t run from this. I can’t hide. I have to turn and face it and start fighting back. Let the bad guys be the ones to hurt this time. Without consciously intending to she found herself thinking of the contents of her grandmother’s grimoire. There were several spells in there she could use to deal with this situation, to end the threat…she remembered the feel of the dark magic flowing through her when she’d cast the spell to punish Corey and shuddered slightly. She’d nearly killed him with her magic, and for what? For scaring her and breaking her windows? No she thought trying to push away the seductive idea of giving the Dark court elf a firsthand taste of the magic he wanted from the book.
Jess was frowning at her, his expression worried and she forced herself to relax. “No one can promise that I won’t get hurt again. That’s life. But I – we – have to do what we can to stop this. To catch the killer and to catch the Dark court elves.”
Jess looked at Bryn, his expression searching, “Allie you do not sound like yourself.”
“No, I guess I don’t,” she agreed sagging against him, suddenly exhausted. She felt the weight of the whole day as if it were pressing down on her shoulders. “But I’m just sick of feeling scared all the time and waiting for something bad to happen. I feel like…I feel like I was so afraid of him coming back and trying to…and then suddenly he was there and he was chasing me and it’s like waking up from a nightmare and realizing that the nightmare is real. I can either curl up on the ground and give up or I can stop running and start fighting. And I just…I guess I want to start fighting.”
“She is using your emotional energy to heal herself, to heal her mind,” Brynneth said with his usual calm. Allie turned and looked at him and he continued. “I suspected you were capable of as much Allie, but something always held you back. In all honesty you do a better job healing yourself in this way than I have been doing, although you should be cautious not to let yourself be overcome with a false sense of confidence.”
“What do you mean?”
/> “Only that you are healing yourself but you are not healed. Not yet. It will take some time yet, even with you embracing this ability and not struggling against it. You may find that while you feel courage now and have less anxiety at the abstract idea of facing this enemy, should you actually be captured or face that same pain again all of that fear may return just as before,” he replied.
She looked down, her forehead resting on Jess’s chest, his hands continuing to caress her back. She understood what Brynneth was saying and the sensible part of her knew he was probably right. But the rest of her was overwhelmed by a rising anger that bubbled up and settled under her skin. She was tired of being a victim. And she wasn’t going to let herself get hurt again without fighting back. And there’s always what I know from the grimoire Allie thought then immediately shoved the thought away, seeing dead birds behind her eyes. No, no I can’t let myself be tempted by that again. Just because I know that dark magic doesn’t mean I can let myself use it. Its’ too easy to hurt others to get what I want and justify it as being a good thing…although it would serve that heartless bastard right…no, no I can’t even let myself think like that….
Brynneth was watching her closely and she struggled not to let her thoughts show. She knew that the elven healer was very perceptive and after the repeated healing sessions he had given her he knew her very well. She tried to cut off that entire line of thought by shifting her focus to Jess.
For the first time she was consciously allowing herself to fully connect to and pull energy from him, without reservation. His love and concern were like a tangible thing, like incense that she could see and taste and smell, and the emotions wrapped around and through her. She imagined that she could see herself, her aura drinking that smoke-like emotional energy in, could feel it being absorbed and transformed into what she needed. Suddenly, inexplicably, she had the almost overwhelming urge to push Jess down and take him right there on the kitchen floor, audience be damned, knowing on some level that then she could truly and completely tap into the emotional energy she craved from him. The unexpected rush of arousal, so intense it was almost painful, on the heels of the rest of the evening’s extreme negative emotions left her feeling embarrassed and confused. Dear Gods she thought uncomfortably what is wrong with me? Am I having a nervous breakdown or something? And yet somehow she felt more calm and stable than she had in a long time, with Jess’s energy still curling into her. The more she opened herself to it the more she wanted it.
“Are you alright Allie?” Jess asked her, tensely.
“Yes,” she said softly, her voice husky. “Just tired. I think I’d like to go lay down for a while.”
Brynneth nodded. “Of course. I will leave you for tonight then. If it can be arranged I will see you tomorrow and be certain that you are well.”
“Thank you, Brynneth, that’s kind of you,” Allie said in that same low voice. Her gaze drifted up to Jess’s face, her mind ignoring all of the traumas of the day to wedge itself solidly in the gutter. She was pretty certain it was either part of her accepting her ability to use his emotions, or else a really weird psychological survival mechanism, but at that point she didn’t care. Feeling anything besides terror and anxiety was fine by her.
Jess’s eyes met hers and she saw understanding flicker across his face. “Allie?” he thought tentatively.
She looked away, watching politely as Brynneth saw himself out. Then she thought back to Jess, “I want you to make me forget that today ever happened.”
He hesitated, as if he were going to argue with her, but then seemed to think twice and instead scooped her up into his arms. “If this is what you need, my love, then of course. Anything.”
Chapter 4 - Wednesday
He followed the girl slowly, making sure to walk far enough behind her that she wouldn’t notice him following. He kept his eyes down, the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up over his head to cover most of his face leaving only a tunnel of clear sight in front of him. His eyes stayed trained on her feet as she walked, her scuffed white sneakers moving with a purpose on the sidewalk. His hand gripped the hilt of the knife so tightly his fingers had started to go numb, and he could feel his blood singing with the desire to hear her screaming.
She was the fourth girl he’d followed today, but each of the other three had escaped into a crowded area, or disappeared into stores and not come back out before he lost his patience. He had a feeling about this one though, a lucky feeling, so he paced behind her hoping she’d head into an alley or better yet into one of the deserted little parks that pocketed downtown.
After another few minutes of walking he got his wish. The sneakers turned onto a dirt path at the edge of a small park. He lingered, not wanting to be obvious, but watched her progress carefully. There was a man sitting in the grass at edge of the park playing guitar and he stopped nearby pretending to listen as the girl walked further in. The musician’s long brown hair swung in time to the rhythm of the song he played, something distinctly heavy metal even on the acoustic guitar he was playing. His nimble fingers flew across the guitar’s neck as he played, seemingly oblivious to everything around him, his eyes tightly closed.
Jerry moved into the park, senses alert for the girl’s passage. He found her easily, sitting under a tree eating a sandwich. She looked relaxed, and he assumed she must come here often to eat her lunch. She was petite, barely five feet tall and thin in a way that made her seem delicate; her pink blouse and jeans hung off her frame. Her skin and hair were the exact same pale brown color, and her nose had an odd look to it, as if it was an afterthought added on rather than truly part of her. He felt an extra thrill as he got a better look at her; he’d never taken a part-Brownie before and the idea of it excited him.
He shifted the knife, getting a better grip on it, then walked out of the trees towards her. Her large brown eyes immediately tracked the movement, fixing on him. She didn’t seem alarmed, just curious. He smiled, continuing to walk towards her, watching as her expression went from curious to uncertain.
He had almost reached her when several things happened at once. She started to open her mouth to say something and he lunged forward swinging the knife. Faster than he could believe anyone would react she was jumping to her feet, shoving him away with inhuman strength. By sheer chance as he was pushed back the knife, swinging wildly, embedded itself in her shoulder.
She screamed, falling back, the knife pulling free of her body. He scrambled over to her on his hands and knees, clutching the weapon. He backhanded her with the hilt, hearing bone break under the blow, the metal tearing a bloody gash across her cheek and jaw, and she collapsed to the ground. She lay still, her eyes rolling slightly as she fought not to pass out. Reaching out with both hands, the knife held awkwardly, he yanked at her blouse until the buttons popped and it opened, then he used the blade to cut off the rest of her clothes, suddenly anxious to feel her small body under his. She was stronger than he’d expected and he was afraid of her waking up before he was done with her, but his lust overruled his fear. Nonetheless he hurried, not taking the time to enjoy her the way he usually would have.
As he was finishing with her he heard someone shouting behind him. The guy who had been playing guitar as he’d walked into the park was there, rushing forward, guitar in hand, his face angry and horrified. Jerry staggered up, growling at the intrusion, the bloody knife still gripped tightly in his hand. The musician saw the knife at the last moment and skidded to a stop, swinging his guitar like a club. Jerry dodged, falling to one knee, stabbing up blindly towards the other man’s body. Once again he was saved by pure luck; the knife seemed to find its target on its own, slicing deeply into the musician’s body.
Jerry lost his balance and landed gracelessly on his back, rolling in anticipation of the next attack, but it never came. Looking up he saw the other man writhing on the ground, his guts spilled across the grass from the gaping wound the blade had opened in his abdomen. For an instant Jerry froze, utterly fascinated by the gory sigh
t, but then he remembered what he was doing here. The others would be angry he had killed a human, and he felt a rush of anxiety at the thought. This was not part of his glorious purpose.
Since it was too late to do anything else he advanced on the musician’s prone form, deciding he could at least put an end to the man’s suffering. That was the humane thing to do and the others would appreciate that he’s tried to be merciful. He moved forward, slowly lifting the blade, prepared to slit the man’s throat when a wave of magic hit him from the side and knocked him off his feet again. He scrambled back up and saw the mixed blood girl on her hands and knees crawling towards him, blood still flowing from her shoulder wound and head, but obviously about to cast another spell at him. The expression on her face was one of blind fury.
Jerry turned and ran.
******************************
Allie was just finishing ringing out a customer when her cell phone rang. The woman buying the books was one of her oldest regulars who didn’t care about any of the drama that had gone on, not even the recent shooting in the parking lot, as long as Allie had her special orders for her to pick up. Allie was disproportionately grateful for at least one person who didn’t even mention police or murder investigations, and who only wanted to discuss when the new shipment from earth would clear customs. The cell phone ringing startled Allie who had gotten used to the phone sitting silently in her pocket and never doing very much. She carried it as much because it made Jason feel better as she did to actually use, since she could always contact Jess directly when she needed to.
“Have a nice day Mrs. Davidson,” Allie said quickly, fumbling the phone out of her pocket and rushing to get it opened before the call went into the irretrievable black hole of her voicemail. Her customer gave her a disapproving look and sighed, waving over her shoulder as she carried her purchases out the door.
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