The woman on the bed made a small sympathetic noise but Allie forced herself to keep going, knowing that if she stopped now she’d lose her nerve. She had never spoken of this to anyone afterwards, instead doing her best to act as if none of it had happened. Some small irrational part of her tried to believe that if she just pretended that it hadn’t happened she could unmake the experience, bury it underneath her denial. But she had made a lot of progress with Brynneth and recently in letting her own empathy heal the broken places in her mind. And she knew, on some deep level, that the only way to really get this woman to trust her was to be completely honest about the most painful parts of her own story. “But then he…found me again later. After I’d recovered from the first time. He’s a very sadistic person by nature. My ankle was broken and he crushed it, stomped on it, which is why I limp now and always will, and he broke my arm, and…and raped me…and stabbed me. I almost died, would have died, both my lungs were punctured…but the Guard arrived and I was healed in time.”
She was surprised that once she’d said it, out loud, past all taking it back or denying, she didn’t feel the way she’d expected, the way her upbringing in the Dark court had taught her to feel about being a victim. She didn’t feel weak or helpless. She felt an odd sense of peace, and that same anger she’d felt the night before when she’d thought about the same elf returning to torment her again. She didn’t want to run away anymore – she wanted to hurt him. Which maybe isn’t the most helpful way to feel Allie thought to herself. But I’m done with letting him make me suffer in my own head, because he hurt me. I’d rather hate him than hate myself.
She finally looked up, meeting the woman’s eyes and she was shocked to see the tears running down her face. “And did he…was he punished?”
“He wasn’t caught,” Allie said, watching the other woman frown and wipe her tears away. “But I lived, and if I’m lucky he still will pay for what he did. Eventually.”
“Did you...I mean,” she said, obviously embarrassed, “I’m glad you’re okay now. But did you feel like it was your fault? What happened?”
“Yeah I did. I suppose in some ways I still do. Afterwards I tried to act like it didn’t happen at all. But I’ve…it’s been really hard,” Allie said with brutal honesty. “Nightmares, anxiety, being afraid to be alone. Part of that is because I do feel like if I’d just done something different, maybe not offended him to begin with, it, none of it would have happened, even though I know that isn’t true.”
“Yeah,” the other woman said softly, her fingers reaching up now to touch the bandage on her face. “I keep thinking if I’d just moved faster, if I’d just realized sooner what he was going to do…”
Allie felt her pulse speeding up, as she quickly debated whether to push or not. Finally she asked, as gently as she could, “What happened?”
The woman licked her lips, her deep brown eyes locked with Allie’s as if seeking support. This time Allie didn’t look away, but held her gaze. “I was on my lunch break and I walked down to the park to eat. I do that a lot because it’s nice there. I had noticed this guy in a hoodie following me, but I didn’t pay attention. I mean lots of people walk that way and go to that park. And I went to my favorite spot and was eating and this guy walked up the path and right towards me, you know? It was weird but I just thought, maybe he was a tourist who was going to ask for directions or ask me some lame question about being part Fey – I get that a lot because of how I look – but he wasn’t slowing down he was just coming straight at me, kind of fast. And then I realized something wasn’t right and I started to get up and then he was swinging this knife, and…and it was in my shoulder. I didn’t think anything could hurt that bad.”
She stopped, looking down, “I’m sorry, I’ve never been stabbed before.”
“It’s okay. It does pretty much suck,” Allie said, earning a soft chuckle from the woman.
“Yeah,” she agreed looking up again. “The doctors said it broke my collarbone. I didn’t know that at the time just that it hurt like crazy. And then he hit me, I think maybe with the other end of the knife. And I don’t remember much after that. I mean it’s all hazy. I remember enough to know…to know what he did. But it was like it wasn’t really happening. And then someone was yelling. I guess that was Skip…”
“You knew him?”
“Skip? Yeah, I’d share my lunch with him sometimes he’s – was – a nice guy,” she said. “And I rolled over and I saw him, the guy, with a bloody knife and I used the earth energy to throw him, except everything was still kind of spinning, I was really dizzy from getting hit, and I missed. He ran away before I could try again. And then…then I saw Skip…and I found my phone and called 911.”
Allie nodded thinking that the killer had some very perverse luck. Brownies had a special talent for manipulating earth energy; if she’d managed to hit where she was aiming she might have knocked him out, and that would have been the end of it. “I think you’re very lucky to be alive. And that he’s lucky you missed.”
The woman nodded slightly. “Do you think he’ll be caught?”
“Gods I hope so,” Allie said sincerely. “Thank you for telling me that, I know how hard it was to talk about it.”
She nodded again. “I suppose it’s stupid of me not to talk to the cops. I mean I don’t want to talk to the Elven Guard because, since when have they cared about what happens to the Lesser Fey? They just care about the letter of the Law and preserving order, and I don’t need anyone in here telling me to do anything…but I know Ashwood’s cops are good people.”
“So why didn’t you tell detective Riordan anything?”
She heaved a heavy sigh. “Because my dad’s a cop with the state police and – it’s stupid because he’s going to find out about this anyway right? – but I didn’t want him to know.”
“Believe me,” Allie said reaching out across the space between them for the first time and taking the other woman’s hand. “I completely understand.”
****************************
As they were moving through the door Allie grabbed Mariniessa and whispered quickly, “Jess doesn’t know what I just told her; don’t repeat it.”
She felt the other woman’s disbelief and moved past her quickly before she could respond to what Allie had said. Out in the hallway all the police, elven and human, were still gathered. Allie rubbed her temple, unconsciously imitating Riordan. “Her name is Joy Piburn.”
“Piburn? Why does that sound familiar?” Smythe asked, frowning.
“Well her father’s a state cop,” Allie said.
“Shit,” Riordan swore with real feeling.
“She told us what happened and gave us a description of Standish,” Allie continued. “The cliff notes version is that he seems to have followed her for a little bit on the street – she didn’t think anything of it – and then just walked right up to her as soon as she was alone and stabbed her.”
“Yes,” Mariniessa said unexpectedly, her voice more subdued than Allie had ever heard it before. “It appears that the second man, the musician, arrived during or immediately after the sexual assault and Standish turned his attention from his victim to attack the one who would have aided her. The woman recovered enough while the other man was being mortally wounded to attack Standish herself, magically, and drive him off.”
“That was bravely done,” Jess said quietly.
Still looking troubled Mariniessa nodded. “Yes. It may give him some pause in choosing or attacking his next victim.”
“We can hope,” Riordan said, without much hope in his voice.
“Allie,” Sam said, speaking for the first time, “would you be willing to go with me out to the crime scene and do whatever it is that you do to see if you can pick up anything we might be able to use to catch him?”
“Oh, ummm, sure,” Allie said.
Jess stepped forward, resting a hand protectively on Allie’s shoulder. “I am not sure anything can be gained from Allie going to that locatio
n. We already know that it was our suspect.”
“Obviously,” Sam said nonchalantly. “And I appreciate your concern about Allie going to a place so rife with such abhorrent emotions given her clear issues with her own abilities, but trained or not, shielded properly or not, we may be able to use her like a dowsing rod to find the killer’s trail.”
Allie winced as Jess’s emotions swung from concern to outrage. Sam could not possibly have chosen a worse way to phrase things. Even Mariniessa and Brynneth were looking from their commander to the human mage as if they expected Jess to throw a punch. When he spoke though Jess’s voice was utterly devoid of any emotion at all – something that should have warned Sam of how badly upset the elf was. “She is not a tool to be used at your convenience. I think it was expecting too much of her as it is to ask her to come here and expose herself to the emotions of the victim. Turning around immediately after that and wanting to drag her out to the scene of the crime is asking too much.”
Everyone’s eyes shifted back to Sam, waiting for his response. The human mage rolled his head, cracking his neck in a way that made Allie wince. “I think that I asked Allie and she said she’d do it.”
Jess’s hand tightened on her shoulder and Allie swore to herself, wishing that she hadn’t reflexively agreed. “Allie is a kind hearted person who is always willing to help others whenever she can,” Jess said in that same flat voice. “But she is also a poor judge of her own limitations. I will not stand by and allow her to be put in a situation where she will be exhausted or harmed in her effort to help you do your job.”
“Now, I think we all just need to calm down,” Riordan tried to interject, realizing how angry Jess actually was.
Sam, as usual, ignored him, continuing in a light pleasant tone as if they were discussing the weather. “I wasn’t aware that you were her keeper, to decide what situations she did or didn’t put herself into. Or maybe you don’t care if she breaks her word, having said she’d go already.”
Allie felt Jess’s anger spike and knew that whatever he said next would almost certainly be neither calm nor civil, and probably ruin the new atmosphere of cooperation the police and Elven Guard had. She spoke quickly into the brief pause that hung in the air after Sam’s final word.
“Jessilaen is my fiancé,” her subconscious supplied the word, which flowed off her lips so naturally she was almost overwhelmed by hysterical laughter. Jess was so distracted by the formal proclamation of their status, he shifted instantly from angry to something else entirely. She didn’t dare look at the other two elves, who were radiating shock so strong she could taste it, thick and heavy as cream. She saw Riordan blink and look at her in wide-eyed surprise but she pushed on. “So you’ll understand why he has a right to be concerned about my well-being. And I said I would go with you and see if I could find a trail but I never said when.”
Sam looked at her, his face totally blank. “I…see. Indeed. Well, that does put a rather different spin on things then doesn’t it? Especially as I understand that elves only marry for the purpose of procreation, I imagine he would have a vested interest in your safety.”
“Sam,” Smythe said sharply, “I’m saying this as your friend, but seriously shut the Hell up, or when the commander kicks your ass I’m going to cheer him on.”
Sam stepped back slightly, his expression flustered. “What? I was apologizing. I didn’t mean any offense to begin with of course but if he’s her boyfriend then naturally…what? Why is everyone looking at me like that?”
Riordan was rubbing his temples again, this time with both hands. “Kensington, for Christ’s sake stop before you get your entire leg wedged in your mouth with your foot.”
Sam’s mouth shut with an audible click and Allie realized with some trepidation that he really didn’t understand what he’d said that was so offensive. He was either so used to being brash that he was mistaking rude for friendly or, like some other mages she knew, he really was just that abysmal with social cues.
“Don’t be too angry with him Jess, he does mean well, in his own way,” she thought at Jessilaen. He relaxed his hand on her shoulder as if he’d only just realized how hard he was holding onto her.
“He is of no consequence and clearly mentally deficient,” Jess thought back, as if waving away what she’d said. “It was worth every word he said to hear you declare us betrothed.”
“Yes, well, I’m not sure Bryn and Mariniessa will ever get over the shock, but since your family has accepted the contract,” Allie thought back. “I mean it’s just a matter of it being written up and reviewed, so…I was right to say that wasn’t I?”
“Of course my love,” Jess said, his happiness overflowing into her. “Once accepted the actual writing and signing is mostly formality. And then we shall be wed.”
Allie felt a rush of panic at that word ‘wed’, despite the ease with which she’d just thrown around fiancé. It was one thing to accept in an abstract way that she was agreeing to marry him but the cold hard reality of it was overwhelmingly terrifying. Kind of the same way that she’d always talked with Syndra about how fun bungee jumping would be, but actually standing on the bridge counting down to jump was an entirely different experience. Oh Gods Syndra I wish you were here, and not dead. Or at least show up in a dream where I can talk to you about something besides murders and conspiracies she thought feeling an unexpected stab of renewed grief for her friend. She realized Riordan was talking and struggled to focus outward.
“…so we’ll meet at 10 Friday morning and compare notes,” he was saying. “We should have some results on the physical evidence analysis by then. At least preliminary results.”
“Yes,” Jess agreed. “And we should be finished comparing the possible connections between the three known members participating in the ritual murders.”
“And…I mean would Friday be a good day to go out to the crime scene and have me check it out?” Allie said, fumbling slightly as she tried to walk the line between pleasing both groups. Sam rolled his eyes at her, and she sensed his annoyance.
“Friday’s fine by me,” he said, his voice perfectly civil. His eyes fixed on Jess who said nothing, clearly not willing to advocate her going forward with this plan, but also choosing not to stop her.
“Good,” Riordan said, glancing from the mage to the elven commander to be sure that there would be no more disagreement. “Could you go before our meeting? It would be helpful if we could get your input at that point.”
Allie looked at Sam, who shrugged. “I’m not a morning person, but with enough coffee I’ll manage.”
Allie nodded, “I’m okay with that.”
“Alright,” Smythe said, “I need to notify the next of kin here and we have a lot of evidence to go through from this incident. I think we should all get moving on our separate missions today and see what we can turn up in the next few days.”
Everyone nodded and Allie felt a rush of relief. At least there was some kind of plan and everyone was working together, for the moment anyway. She turned to head towards the exit, Jess still by her side, when Sam jogged up. Jess tensed, as did the other two elves walking nearby, but Sam ignored them. “Allie hang on a second.”
“What’s up?”
“I’ve been thinking,” he said, shooting the elves a suspicious look. “If you’re interested. I know someone who can train you so that your empathy would be under control.”
“Why do you assume it is not?” Jess asked coldly. Obviously he had taken a strong dislike to Sam and Allie repressed a sigh, knowing that he’d probably dislike the man for the next thousand years. Elves were legendary, literally, for their long memories and ability to hold a grudge, even over things humans found trifling. She felt bad for Sam’s unborn great-great grandchildren who would probably never understand why they had such bad luck with elves….
Sam shrugged, “I’m not assuming. I know it isn’t. I can see the way she flinches every time someone gets really pissed off or upset and the way she relaxes when peop
le are happy. That just screams unshielded empath. No offense Allie.”
Allie shrugged, “None taken. I spent most of my life until a few months ago ignoring my empathy, and I could shield just fine, but then I made a mistake. I don’t know exactly what I did, but I opened myself up to my ability in a way that short circuited everything. My shielding’s been erratic at best since then.”
“Hmmm,” Sam murmured thoughtfully, as Jess tensed. Allie knew he didn’t like her giving away so much personal information to the mage, but it was clear Sam already knew or had guessed a lot of her problem anyway. “Yes, I definitely know someone who can help you.”
“And what cost will this help come at?” Jess asked, his voice stiff.
“Now that I can’t say. But it’d be up to Allie to decide if it was worth it or not.”
Allie nodded slightly. “So who is this person? A friend of yours? A former teacher?”
Sam actually blushed a little, looking uncomfortable. “Well as it happens, neither. It’s my great-aunt. She’s an accomplished mage in her own right and is particularly knowledgeable when it comes to training people’s innate gifts.”
*************************
Allie grabbed Jason and went back to work after leaving the clinic, deciding it was better to re-open the store for a few hours than lose the entire day. It proved to be something of a waste since she didn’t have any customers, probably she thought because her hours lately had become so erratic. She did manage to get several internet orders packaged up and mailed though so the afternoon wasn’t a total waste.
Jason left to work second shift at the firehouse and Allie tried not to worry too much during the few hours she was alone in the store. It was a relief when the time came to close. Feeling tired and a bit depressed she went and picked Jess up at the Outpost after work. As soon as he was in the car her mood lifted and she turned and smiled at him. He smiled back but she could feel that he was unhappy about something.
Into the Twilight: a Between the Worlds Novel Page 13