He just hoped it was enough.
***********************************
Allie floated in darkness. Brynneth had been there with her in the black and she knew he had used as his skill to try to help her. His healing magic had looked like green fire against the darkness but soon enough it had faded and she was left alone. It was quiet here and peaceful. She did not mind so much being in the dark. There was no pain here, no fear, only an endless dark.
Then Jess had come, his emotions filling her, drawing her back to herself, back towards life. His feelings were like fire too in the darkness but they burned red and gold, warm and full of love and need. The darkness was driven back before the sheer force of his emotions and she could feel herself feeding on his feelings, drinking the energy in, as reflexively as a flower seeking light. For a short time she felt nothing but what he felt and she struggled to live, to emerge from the shadows, as his will to survive consumed her as well.
She surfaced from the dark place into a grey limbo of pain. She could not wake fully but she also could not return to the peace of the place she had been before. Her body burned from the inside and she wished for Jess’s beautiful red-gold fire to come and chase it away again.
And then there was someone in the grey place, but it wasn’t Jess. Allie pushed this person away at first, afraid and hurting, but then she thought – or imagined – she could hear Bleidd’s voice somewhere far away. She reached for the sound frantically, searching for him with her empathy, and then he was there with her, his own fire illuminating the shadows with a light that was also red and gold but somehow not the same as Jess’s. For a little while she pondered that, the difference that the same colors could have. She could feel him reaching out to her, holding his feelings out like an offering, and she knew that it was her choice, to accept what he was offering or to reject him. If she rejected him that beautiful fire would be extinguished and the desire that she felt from him, tentative and uncertain as it was now, would be destroyed. She also knew, on an instinctual level that she could choose to take what he was giving her, to accept the emotions and amplify them, make them into the same glorious conflagration that Jess had felt. She tried to take them, suddenly frantic to be filled again with the desire to live that Jess had given her. But she could not pull enough in from him. She could feel that it was there, but she couldn’t quite get to all of it. And she wanted all of it, in the same way she had gotten it from Jess.
Her own physical pain and fear overwhelmed her, but it also reminded her of something, of another time when she had been desperate to reach someone, when her survival had depended on it. Without thinking she reached out, back to that place, her mind blurring the boundaries between that situation and this one, between Jess and Bleidd. The energetic battery still hung in the air in the rough shed where she had been held prisoner, where she had created it, shimmering. She tapped back into it, feeling the power filling her. It hurt terribly, like straining a torn muscle, to direct the magic, and the added pain goaded her to reach out for Bleidd, overwhelmed by her need for him. The power arched between them, colored by the red and gold of his love and a deep dark crimson which Allie slowly realized was her own energy, sluggish and tainted by the poison that was killing her.
The realization gave her the strength to push through the pain and complete the connection with him. She felt herself breaching an unseen barrier, surging through into his essence, which flowed back through the connection and filled her. His emotions were like an ocean, immense and surging, and she was overwhelmed with a greedy desire to take it all in. She was in his mind then and his heart, and somehow Jess was there too like an echo, and both of their feelings opened to her. She absorbed Bleidd’s emotions as fast as they flooded into her, her own reactions and feelings amplifying his, the energy revitalizing her. She nurtured that little flame into something stronger and more powerful, enjoying the way it filled her, encouraging it until it reached its full potential, the red and gold flames mesmerizing in their beauty. Finally, after what seemed like an endless time in that grey place, reveling in his feelings, she snapped back into full consciousness, back into the waking world entirely.
“Mine,” she hissed, her voice strange in her own ears, that greedy feeling still resonating in her. And then she woke fully out of the odd trance, realizing that his face was inches from her own and her hand was clutching his hair so hard it had to be hurting him. She forced her fingers to unclench with an effort. Then the disorientation hit in full force as she tried and failed to understand where she was and what was going on.
Bleidd was looking at her with an indescribable expression, fear and joy chasing themselves around his heart. She could feel what he felt too clearly and somewhere in her mind alarm bells went off, even unshielded he should not be coming through that strongly, and she could feel her new shields still in place. An instant later she realized that she was in a strange bed, and Bleidd was there with her, his body still pressed against hers, leaving her no doubt even through her confusion that they had had sex. A shadow of memory tried to surface, of his feelings filling her, of red and gold fire, and she remembered feeling that she needed to make a choice, between rejecting his desire or accepting it. She had accepted and magnified what he’d felt, fanned it into something much stronger, and she had no doubt that what had happened in her mind, with the fire, was directly related to what had happened physically. And despite not knowing why this had happened she did not regret her choice.…the hand that had been clutching his hair stroked his head gently, as she tried to sort out what could possibly have happened to result in this scenario. Jess was standing off to one side, his face also unreadable, his emotions a tangle of worry, love, and fear. Her body still hurt in a terrible way, but the pain was not so all consuming. She took a deep breath, and it seemed to her that both men released theirs.
“What is going on?” she thought, unable to frame a more coherent question.
To her utter shock it was Bleidd’s voice that answered in her mind. “Forgive me Allie…”
“Wait- what?” she thought cutting him off. She stared at her friend in complete shock.
“What did you do my heart?” Jess thought to her – no Allie realized as Bleidd’s head swiveled around to look at the other elf, his expression stunned – to them.
“I…I don’t know. I don’t…I was…there was darkness and shadows and I felt him with me, his feelings, but I couldn’t get enough of them, I mean I couldn’t connect enough,” Allie thought at both of them, still not understanding what was going on. “And I was reaching and I needed more…”
“It’s alright, it will be alright,” Jess thought back soothingly, seeing her agitation.
“Yes,” Bleidd added tentatively, his shock still plain. “Yes, it will be okay Allie. What matters is that you will live.”
“I’ll…” Allie thought, trying to grasp the thought. She forced herself to speak aloud then, unable to handle the implications of the three way mental conversation. “I’ll live? Was I…I was dying?”
The two elves exchanged an indecipherable look, and she had the oddest feeling that they were now speaking to each other silently. Bleidd tried to pull away from her but she grabbed his neck, holding him where he was. She might not know what had happened, exactly, or why but she did know that she was freezing and he was very warm, so as far as she was concerned he could stay where he was for a minute. Certainly Jess seemed to be okay with it, as strange as that was. It figures, Allie thought repressing a frown I seem to have finally managed to get over one small aspect of this monogamy obsession I have and I don’t remember anything about it.
“Yes my love,” Jess said gently, stepping over to the bed and reaching out to stroke her face. She tried not to let herself think about how weird that seemed, considering Bleidd was still in the bed with her, because she knew for the elves who had no concept of committed relationships outside of contracted marriages this situation really wasn’t that strange. Her human upbringing though was pitching fits
in the back of her mind. The worry on Jess’s face distracted her. “You were dying. You were poisoned with iron and not even Brynneth could save you. But I knew that you can help speed your own healing by drawing energy from the emotions of people you are closely connected to. I did what I could for you but it wasn’t enough so I got Bleidd to help as well.”
And this whole situation just got that much weirder Allie thought trying to process the idea of Jess sleeping with her first while she was unconscious and then talking Bleidd into doing the same thing. Not that I mind Jess doing whatever he had to if it saved my life. And Bleidd…its not like I haven’t fantasized about sleeping with him or wanted to, it was only feeling like I’d be betraying Jess that kept holding me back. Being conscious would have been better, but it was his energy that pulled me back. She remembered both of them finding her in the darkness, giving her the will to live she needed, the energy to pull herself back.
“Allie,” Bleidd said, using her momentary distraction to extricate himself from her. “What happened? You were fine when we left this morning.”
Jess added, “It must have been something you ate or drank. Try to think of what might have caused this.”
“I don’t know…” Allie said slowly trying to sort through memories muddled by agonizing pain. And then, far worse than the physical pain, the flash of memory came. She closed her eyes as if she could shut the realization out that way, but she could hear Liz’s voice playing in her head ‘I’m sorry’.
Bleidd tried to step away from the hospital bed, afraid he was the cause of her distress, but Jess held him in place. “Allie what is it?”
She shook her head hard. In her mind she was reliving that morning. Walking Jess to the door, because he had to leave early to get to the Outpost. Bleidd was already gone, as was Jason. Shawn was finally back from his visit to his mother, but he was still sleeping. She walked into the kitchen and found Liz making breakfast. Tension hung heavy between them making Allie wince. She started to walk over to get coffee and Liz was handing her a mug. “Here Allie I fixed it for you. I know how you like your coffee in the morning, lots of milk.” Liz’s emotions were all over the place, hopeful and nervous and worried but Allie had just thought it was because they’d been fighting so much lately. About her helping the Guard and about Jess living there. She’d taken the coffee and drank it. All of it. Smiling and thanking her cousin…
“Oh Gods,” she moaned out loud, covering her face with her hands.
“I should go,” Bleidd said, and she felt her heart spasm in her chest.
“No!” she sobbed, the tears spilling over. And then despite her own aversion to dealing with what she’d done she reached out to both of them, because she knew they loved her and they had gone to extraordinary lengths to save her. “Please, don’t go. Stay. Both of you. I need…I need you here. Don’t leave me. I can’t…I can’t believe this…”
“Allie what is it?” Jess asked again, his fear washing over her. She didn’t care, his feelings were better to deal with than her own. She didn’t know it was possible for a heart to actually break until that moment. Liz was more than just her cousin, she was like a sister to her. She had protected Allie from the moment Allie had moved in with their grandmother. The two didn’t always agree, and Allie knew that Liz didn’t particularly like elves, but she had always been able to count on the anchor of her relationship with her cousin. It was one of the constants in her life, like the store and the house.
“Allie,” Bleidd thought tentatively, his mental voice unsure. “Please tell us what is wrong. If you are angry with me…”
“Angry with you? What? Why?” she thought back, miserable and confused. “No of course I’m not angry at you. You just saved my life. Both of you did. You should be angry at me for…this.”
“Oh Allie,” he thought back, his feelings too mixed even for her to read.
“Then what is it? What happened to put you here?” Jess pressed.
She pressed the palms of her hands hard into her eyes, wanting to shut the whole world out. She couldn’t believe that her cousin had done this to her. The pain, even now, was terrible. But if she told them she had no doubt they would kill Liz, not because it was the Law – she actually had no idea what the Law said about this sort of thing – but because they loved her. As her friend for more than a decade she knew Bleidd well enough to know that he would seek revenge for her and it would not be pleasant. Jess, well she did not know him for as long or in all honesty as well, but she suspected he would also want to see the person behind this dead. How could she do that to Liz? Even if Liz had been able to do this to her.
“If you don’t remember Allie, it’s alright,” Bleidd said into the silence. “We will get to the bottom of it. Between the Guard and myself we can trace back your steps today and sort out what must have caused it. And who.”
It was so tempting to lie, even by omission, and let them believe that she couldn’t remember. But Bleidd was right they would figure it out quickly enough. Really who else could it be? And then the end result would be the same…
“Please,” she whispered aloud, her voice ragged. “Please, promise me you won’t hurt her until I can talk to her. I have to understand why she did this.”
“Her?” Jess said, puzzled.
Bleidd however knew immediately who she meant, drawing up to his full height, shaking in rage. “Liz? Liz did this to you?”
“Please,” Allie said again, moving despite the pain to grab his hand. It made her lightheaded, and she would have fallen out of the bed, railing or no railing, if they both hadn’t moved to catch her.
Two sets of hands eased her back down onto the pillow. Her whole body hurt, in a way that reminded her of having the flu. She didn’t think she had the strength to sit up; even moving to grab Bleidd’s hand left her weak and shaking. There was still a terrible burning from her throat down, but it was more bearable now. Since she should be dead it seemed petty not to be grateful, even for the pain. She felt a wave of exhaustion, and she fought against it. “Please, promise me, both of you.”
The two elves exchanged a long look, and Allie could hear in her mind, the debate between them.
“We should find her quickly, before she flees and kill her,” Jess thought.
“Yes,” Bleidd agreed, “We should but Allie wants to speak with her. Certainly Liz owes her that at least?”
“Any delay risks her escape,” Jess thought back. “Or further harm to Allie. I think it’s too great a risk, especially with the killer dead.”
“Hmmm. This may have been retribution you mean? Then Jason’s life may be in danger as well.”
“That is so, although I meant that with their killer dead the conspiracy may melt back into the shadows,” Jess thought.
“We must capture Liz then. There is no other reason for her to have done this, except that she is part of the conspiracy.” Bleidd thought.
“There is synchronicity to this,” Jess thought gravely. “Their grandmother was part of the original coven who first helped them and then stopped them. Now her two granddaughters each follow one of those paths, one helping, one seeking to stop them.”
“Perhaps so,” Bleidd agreed. “You may find that bringing Liz here to confront Allie may compel her to speak about what she is doing far more effectively than anything else you can do.”
Jess nodded, then said out loud to Allie, as if she hadn’t heard that entire exchange, “I will promise to bring your cousin here to speak with you.”
Because you think she’ll confess Allie thought bitterly. “Unharmed.”
Jess shook his head. “I cannot promise that Allie. Please understand. There is no way to be certain that in finding her and compelling her to come here she will not resist or attempt to harm myself or others. To promise not to hurt her would give her an enormous advantage that could get someone else killed.”
Allie sighed, feeling defeated because he was right but without that promise she knew that there was no guarantee that Liz would not
be terribly hurt. And she still couldn’t bring herself to want that.
“Just please, try not to hurt her,” she whispered, crying again and too tired to care.
Both elves were frowning and she could sense their anger, which was not aimed at her, and their confusion, which was. Bleidd spoke slowly, standing next to the bed, but leaning away as if he wished he could step back. “Why are you so concerned for her safety? She tried to kill you – she very nearly succeeded. You should be furious. Tell me that you want her head and I will bring it to you.”
She shook her head, the motion making her dizzy. “No. She said she was sorry. She said it wasn’t, that it wasn’t supposed to be like this. I don’t think…I can’t believe she was trying to kill me. Make me really sick maybe, but not kill me.”
Identical looks of disbelief met her words, and she knew, with a sinking feeling that they both thought she was being very naïve. Damn it, why do they have to start getting along and agreeing with each other now? she thought.
Jess reached over and stroked her hair out of her face, then leaned over and kissed her forehead gently, the barest brush of lips against skin. “Do not worry about this now my love. You are still very sick. You must rest and try to recover. I will go and send Brynneth back in and see if he can do any more for you now. And I will tell the others what happened, and we will set about finding your cousin.”
Allie closed her eyes again, utterly miserable between the physical pain and the knowledge that Liz had done this and that now she would become the quarry of the Guard. She wanted to point out to him that as a human resident of town Liz should fall under the jurisdiction of the human police, but she was sure he already knew that, and more importantly if they called in Riordan she would not get to see her cousin. Liz would be found and arrested and taken away. Allie had to be able to see her and know why she had done this, even if it meant trusting that the Guard would not kill her.
Into the Twilight: a Between the Worlds Novel Page 21