“Friends of friends. Seriously, nothing ever went more than a couple of weeks. I’m not good at dating and they don’t get the time commitments.” She sighed.
“Any of them work at the hospital or the station? People you’d run into?”
“Oh hell no. I do not date a nurse, doctor or anyone remotely connected to the hospital. No, thank you.” She shook her head so hard her pony tail bounced back and forth.
“Anyone from the station?” It was the question he really did not want to ask. Which of the guys had she gone out with? His stomach tied in knots.
“No one. I’m serious, they were all friends or army buddies’ family.”
“I still want their names, when you think you might have gone out, the connection you had to them and phone numbers if you have them.” He pushed the notebook she’d written in last night toward her.
“That’s going to be a really short list, and I don’t think it’s any one of them. Nice guys but,” she shook her head, “I wasn’t in a place to have anything to do with them.”
Not his business. He shouldn’t ask...
“Why’s that?”
Jenna closed the lid on her plate, two tacos left untouched, and placed it on the coffee table. For a moment she didn’t answer, just stared at the wall.
“I wasn’t really interested in them. Didn’t make enough time to be with them when I could have. I was pretty closed off. They weren’t bad guys, and I realized they were more interested than I was, so I wound up dumping them.”
Alex scoured his memories. She’d have just come to work for SWAT, he’d made himself ignore her, so he didn’t have a frame of reference for what else might have been going on in her life. He wanted to know. He wanted to peel back her layers, share her secrets and have the privilege of calling her his.
JENNA RETREATED TO the kitchen and stashed her leftovers in the fridge. Her head and heart were numb after almost an hour of Alex’s rigorous questioning. Her life seemed pretty sad when laid out in pieces. Her social life consisted of grabbing a bite to eat with co-workers or off duty cops, all her family had moved away from Ransom during her deployments and there wasn’t any romantic interest to speak of. Unless Alex asked her what was in her nightstand, but she might have to lie. Naming her vibrator Myers had been a great joke in the beginning. Alex probably wouldn’t approve over her use of his last name.
She should get rid of it and try to figure out a way to cure her obsession. Alex would never feel the same way about her, especially not after the last twenty-four hours. Any chance she’d ever had with him was gone.
Genghis’ nails clicked on the tile floor.
Meow.
Jenna whirled around, frozen to the spot as Mittens sauntered into the kitchen on his three legs, the big German Sheppard following along behind the cat, head cocked to the side. Jenna’s heart beat in her throat.
“Alex?”
She bent slightly, edging toward her anti-social cat. Mittens eyed her, disdain quivering his whiskers.
“What?” Alex filled the doorway into the living room. “Oh, shit. Genghis, here boy.”
The dog ignored the command, a rumble low in his chest.
Before Jenna could make a snatch for the cat, Mittens whirled on his two back legs and swiped his only front paw across the dog’s muzzle. Genghis’ belly hit the tile floor, and he whined, the big, bad K-9 cop reduced to groveling at the paws of a cat. Jenna snatched the hissing fuzz ball up, cradling her mangled baby to her chest.
“Oh my God.” She breathed a sigh as Alex took a knee next to the dog.
“Did the mean ‘ol cat get you?” Genghis lifted his head, tail beating the floor and whined again. Alex shook his head and chuckled. “I think someone just established themselves top of the food chain.”
Jenna scratched Mittens head, and for the moment he permitted the show of affection though his body remained tense. He’d suffered so much abuse Jenna didn’t think the cat would ever be able to relax and enjoy attention like other animals.
“You think you’re big and bad.” She slid past Alex, down the short hall into the living room and across to the guest bedroom. The door was cracked just enough for a cat to squeeze through.
She put Mittens on the bed and checked his bowls, both of which were empty. If she had to guess, the two fur babies had made nice most of the day without too much hair lost. Mittens had a healthy appetite, but not enough to polish off a whole bowl. She put out some more food and took the water bowl back to the kitchen. Genghis was gone and Alex stood at the back door, staring out through the screen.
“He’s got some other scratch marks on him,” Alex said without looking at her.
“I’m so sorry, Alex.” She winced. Great. Something else that was her fault.
He chuckled again. “Don’t be, if they’re going to live together for a little while they have to work things out.”
“I can find somewhere else. I know this isn’t ideal for you.” She turned on the tap and filled the water bowl.
“You can stay here for as long as you like.” His footsteps were the only sound as he drew closer.
Despite her intentions to move past her feelings for him, her heart fluttered and her stomach did a little flip the closer he got.
“We never got to finish our chat from earlier,” he said.
Jenna turned the tap off and turned to face him even though what she really wanted was to run and hide.
“Look, can we forget it? I appreciate you wanting to talk about it and clear the air or whatever, but I’d like to just—move on.”
The way his gaze never wavered as he stared at her was a little unnerving.
“Is that what you want?” he asked.
No, what she wanted to do was wrap her legs around his waist and kiss that infuriating frown off his face.
“I want things to be good between us.” She shrugged and set the bowl on the counter.
“Have they not been?”
“I don’t know. We don’t exactly talk.”
His frown deepened, and he finally glanced away. Why would the idea of talking to her make him angry? Was it something she’d said or done?
“I don’t like the way the guys flirt with you. It’s not professional,” he said while staring at the back door.
Flirting. That was her fault? What in the—what?
“It’s nothing serious. Believe me, it was a lot worse in the army. The guys are just...goofing off. If it was over the line, I’d call them on it.”
“You shouldn’t have to ask them to stop.”
“And how is this my fault?”
“It isn’t, but you flirt back.”
She stared at him. Trying to figure Alex out was hurting her brain.
“Yeah, I do because again—it’s harmless. What about when the guys flirt with Bonnie?”
“I don’t like it.”
Anger bubbled up inside of her. He ignored her. Barely spoke to her. And now he wanted to take her to task for how she interacted with their team?
“Well too bad. You don’t get to tell me how to act or what to do.”
“Why are you so angry?” His brows rose.
“I don’t know what the flirting has to do with us and what happened last night, or why you think it’s your business but—”
“It’s my business because I’m your Team Leader.” His voice rose over hers.
“Yeah, didn’t miss that one, but that’s all you are—my Team Leader.”
They were practically yelling at each other. The situation was completely ridiculous, and she knew it. Could feel the levels of crazy rising until her eyebrows were trying to crawl off her forehead. And she couldn’t stop it. Because he was looking at her, interacting with her and desperate, pitiful her wanted every drop of attention she could get out of him.
Alex planted his hand on the kitchen counter and leaned toward her. “I don’t like them flirting with you when it’s me you kissed.”
He...what?
He didn’t like...Flirting?
She’d kissed him.
But—?
Before she could adequately process his statement, Alex dipped his head, one hand curling around the back of her neck and gently set his lips against hers.
She froze, her body rendered completely immobile while disbelief warred with her baser desires.
He was angry because she flirted with men who were nothing more than co-workers and friends. He was angry because she kissed him—and feigned interest in their teammates. Men made no sense. Especially because it was sensible, reasonable Alex, but he’d kissed her. Was kissing her. There was no denying that. It was really happening.
Right now.
He teased her bottom lip, sucking it between his. Her breath caught, and she reached for his shoulders, curling her hands around him and pulling him closer. She inhaled, drawing in his scent, spicy and—manly.
Did she dare move? Was she hallucinating?
Whatever—Alex was kissing her. She was going to enjoy the hell out of it even if it was all in her head. She tilted her head a little and his grip on her neck tightened. She arched her back and parted her lips as his mouth moved against hers. His tongue swiped the seam of her lips. She groaned and dug her fingers into his shoulders.
Alex straightened, breaking the kiss. She blinked at him, a little unsteady on her feet. He grabbed her hips and lifted her onto the counter.
Oh—that was a good idea.
He stepped between her knees, forcing her legs wider to accommodate him. She reached for him as he wrapped an arm around her waist. A sense of giddiness swept over her followed by desire. She wanted him. Always had, even when she tried not to. He was the addiction she couldn’t shake, the itch she couldn’t scratch.
Their mouths met once more. She curled her calves around the back of his thighs, pulling him closer still. His tongue swept inside her mouth, a gentle caress in comparison to the hard hold he had on her body. She’d never been much for the softer side of romance, preferring a few rug burns and scratches to her lovemaking.
His warmth seeped into her body. A hand cupped her ass, pulling her to the edge of the counter until every shift, every move meant she rubbed against him. Her nipples chafed against her sensible bra and her toes curled.
She wanted him in her, to feel their bodies joining.
Jenna pushed Alex’s shoulder and turned her head.
What the hell were they doing?
Alex rocked back, but his hold on her body didn’t loosen. For a moment, the only sound in the house was that of their labored breath.
She peeked sideways at him, her head resting against the cabinet at her back. She wanted him so bad it hurt sometimes and drove her to do things like name her vibrator after him. But if he was making some point, or simply taking what was easy and at hand, she couldn’t do it. Sex with Alex would mean something to her.
“What the hell?” She still had one hand curled into the fabric of his t-shirt, gasping for breath. “What the hell is going on?”
ALEX STARED INTO JENNA’S green eyes. Her lips were wet from his kisses and sure, he’d kissed her—but she’d kissed him back. He should have handled it differently. Kissing her like that wasn’t the way to respect her, but damn it, he’d needed to.
Jenna pushed at his chest and her legs unwound from his, but he didn’t move.
“This isn’t funny, Alex.” She turned her head away from him. Her voice broke as she said his name.
“It’s not funny. Every time Trevor or Val pop off at you, I have to walk away or else I’m going to punch their fucking lights out. Excuse my language. It makes me so damn jealous I can’t see straight.” There. He’d said it.
Jenna blinked, her mouth working soundlessly.
“What?” she said finally.
“I’m jealous, Jenna. Jealous that you flirt with them. That they flirt with you.” Even thinking about it made his blood boil. For one, he wanted her, and second, she deserved more respect. Sure, he might have some old fashioned values, but he didn’t care. It was Jenna.
“You never talk to me. Ever.”
“What am I supposed to say?”
“Anything.”
“What I want to say to you is hardly work appropriate.”
“Like what?”
Like how he wanted to spend hours between her legs. That he had the most sinful ideas for what to do with her mouth. The fantasies he had about her hair. Where to start? But if they started—where would it end? With one of them getting kicked out of SWAT and a truckload of resentment. He couldn’t have her hate him.
He took a deep breath and straightened.
“We shouldn’t go there.” He had kissed her this time. That was on him, but he could stop it, too.
“Why not?”
“Because—department rules.” Officers in the same unit couldn’t date or be married. There were a few cases where cops were hitched, but they worked in completely different areas and with separate staff, hardly ever interacting on the job. It cut down on interdepartmental drama as much as possible.
“What was this? A booty call thing?” Jenna’s gaze narrowed, and she tipped her chin up, staring down her nose at him. Even a little disheveled, sitting on his kitchen counter she was regal.
“No, it’s not. I’m sorry, I trampled over that line.”
“Why?”
“Because...” Why not? He’d as much as told her. “Because you make me want something I shouldn’t.”
9.
ALEX WANTED TO KISS Jenna. Again. And again.
Her eyes grew a little larger, her lashes standing out as dark fans against her skin.
“What is it you want?” she asked.
Did he have to spell it out for her? If he were smart, he’d walk out right now. Save them both the hard feelings and regrets, but they could be good together. They could be good for each other. That was worth taking a leap of faith, wasn’t it?
He took a deep breath and gripped the counter on either side of her thighs.
All the pent up desire and frustration came out in a single word.
“You.”
Jenna blinked a few times and exhaled. She pushed one hand through her hair and covered one of his hands with hers. The warmth of her seeped into his skin where he gripped the counter so tight his knuckles were turning white.
“So...uh...funny you should say that.” She flattened her palm over his heart, her hand over his sliding down to his wrist. She tugged his arm up and directed him to place it against her waist. Was it his imagination, or were her cheeks slightly pinker? “Moment of honesty here. I might have a thing for you.”
Though he’d begun to suspect he wasn’t the only one with feelings that morning, hearing her almost admit she was attracted to him as well still felt like a punch to the solar plexus.
His beautiful, bold Jenna—liked him, too.
“Might?” he asked.
Alex leaned toward her, every molecule in his body drawn toward her.
Distance, they needed space, to stop this forward momentum so they could talk this out—but Jenna might have a thing for him.
She slid her arm up and around his neck, pulling him closer.
“I’m working on my honesty here.” Her voice was low, husky. She’d only ever spoken like this in his dreams. “It’s a big thing to admit you’ve been harboring a crush on your Team Leader who hardly speaks to you.”
“I told you—”
“I don’t really care what you told me. Let’s stick with the important facts here. I really like you.”
“I really like you, too.” He was as giddy teenager with his first girl all over again. “But—”
Jenna put her fingers over his mouth.
“No buts. Nothing good ever comes after a but. Let’s leave it there. You like me, and I really like you.” She leaned closer, her gaze dropping to his mouth. “I think we should dwell on that for a bit before we make any rash decisions.”
It wasn’t the responsible thing to do. They should have a rational discuss
ion about the longevity of a relationship like theirs and decide if it was in their best interest. Yes, he thought they could have something great, but she might not be on the same page. He should think about her future, what would happen if things didn’t work out. And what if they didn’t? What if they woke up tomorrow and realized it was all wrong?
“What do you say?” Jenna had both arms around his neck now and she was so close he could see the darker shades of green in her eyes. Her legs were wrapped around his, and their bodies pressed together.
“What exactly do you have in mind?” It took effort to form a complete sentence. At this point, he was highly susceptible to any suggestion—even if she wanted to cuddle on the couch and watch reruns again.
“No idea. I kind of just want to kiss you some more.”
“Well, darling, I’m not stopping you.”
She flashed him a grin for a second as her hand came up to cup the back of his neck. Her core pressed against him and he felt her lips curve as she kissed him once, twice in quick little pecks.
He was a lot needier than that.
Alex grasped the elastic holding her hair up and gently tugged on it. Jenna reached up, pushing his hand aside and in one pull released her wheat blonde hair. He pushed his hand up through her hair, curling his fingers around the strands, directing her head to tilt the slightest bit.
Jenna’s lips parted and her eyes were slightly dilated. Arousal would do that to a person. He dipped his head, watching the play of emotions across her face. How had he never seen this before? Was it really possible Jenna wanted him as badly as he wanted her?
He kissed her the way he’d day dreamed about, open mouthed and tasting her as she gasped. Reality was better. Her nails pressed into his skin and she hugged him closer. His aching dick was trapped between them, growing harder. She kissed him back, teasing him with the tip of her tongue, light flicks that invited intrusion.
The room began to spin, the intensity of it enough to make him more than a little light headed.
He tore his mouth from hers, leaning on the counter. Jenna kissed his cheek, his jaw and his neck.
Fighting Redemption Page 7