by Claire Raye
“Like I said before, you’ll wow him again. You’re totally killing it and he’s just being a jerk. So typical,” Sienna says, her words in agreement with me. Her eyes wander over to the large window in the front of our house, catching a small glimpse of the boys in the kitchen through the doorway from the living room.
“How do you think Caleb’s doing?” she asks, but her words aren’t prying. They’re laced with worry and I understand her concern. He’s been through a lot and is still avoiding dealing with the trauma. “I think you’re good for him,” she adds, shooting me a sweet smile.
“I think he’s doing okay,” I tell her, but I know what I’ve just said is somewhat of a lie. I have no idea how he’s really doing. I feel like our friendship has barely scratched the surface. “He did tell me he knows he’s dealing with some shit. I can see if maybe he’ll talk with me about it?”
“That would be great. He won’t talk to Reid or me, but I know he needs to talk to someone. Maybe we can even look into a therapist?” She shrugs her shoulders because she’s been down that path a few times and it really just led to the two of them arguing.
“I’ll see what I can do,” I start to say, but Sienna’s attention is drawn away from me instantly when she hears the opening credits to A New Hope pushing their way out the open windows.
“Oh hell no!” she screams. “This dinner was my idea and I’m not watching Star Wars!” She bounds up from her chair, her glass of margarita sloshing around as she scrambles to get into the house.
I hear Caleb’s melodic laugh echo through the house and out the open windows. I’m smiling far too big as I follow Sienna inside, and when Caleb looks at me my heart flutters hard and fast in my chest. I had no idea that just a look from someone could do this, but there’s something about his blue eyes and his mischievous expression that grabs me.
Sienna tackles Reid, who is sitting on the couch, grabbing for the remote. He holds it above his head, his other hand holding her back with ease.
“Caleb cooked dinner and he’s technically a guest so he gets to pick,” Reid says, finality in his tone.
“Caleb isn’t a guest!” Sienna yells, shooting daggers at him. “He’s a pain in my ass!”
“Reid’s got a point,” I say, cringing at my words because I know Sienna is going to lay into me for siding with them.
“And you call yourself my best friend,” she hisses, narrowing her eyes at me, but everything about her tone is playful.
“You’ve never even watched the whole movie,” Caleb shoots back. “You bail just when it gets good because you have the attention span of a gnat.”
“Maybe you’ll like it,” I defend, trying to get her to stick around. “Caleb and I watched Jaws—”
“Oh my god, Caleb. You’re a traitor to all New Englanders!” Sienna yells, throwing her hands in the air, but Reid drops a huge laugh, making all of us laugh along with him.
“Just because you’re afraid of it doesn’t mean I can’t watch it,” Caleb admonishes and Sienna lets out an insulted huff.
“I’m not afraid of it,” she mutters, flopping her head onto Reid’s shoulder. He presses a kiss to the top of her head and leans in to whisper something in her ear as a smile now crosses her face.
“Fine, Caleb. You win,” she says conceding rather quickly and it makes me wonder just what Reid said to her, because whatever it was, he’s got her wrapped around his finger.
The movie has been playing for at least an hour and there’s something about the vibe in the room that makes me want a boyfriend, makes me want the comfort of being with someone. Sienna and Reid are curled up on the couch together, his arms wrapped around her as she leans into him. Her legs are stretched out and they both look like they were meant to be together. There’s such a naturalness to their union that most people never find.
Caleb and I are on the other end of the sectional sofa, and while we’re not sitting awkwardly or anything, we definitely aren’t melting into each other the way Sienna and Reid are. I shift a few times, tucking my legs underneath me and then moving again as I try to find a better position.
Without words and without taking his eyes off the TV, Caleb reaches for me, tugging me so I’m leaning into his side, his arm slung casually over my shoulder, resting on my chest.
I seriously hope he can’t feel how much my heart has started to race because fuck me that would be mortifying. I swallow hard and take in a slow breath willing myself to stop acting like an idiot.
I lean forward slightly, grabbing my margarita from the coffee table and I take a few gulps in the hope it helps keep me from losing it.
I don’t know if it’s because of what happened today, but as much as my body is going haywire, I need to feel this closeness with someone. I want to feel wanted and comforted, and it’s like Caleb can read that in me.
Maybe he needs it too.
I catch a glimpse of Sienna out of the corner of my eye and she’s fallen asleep in Reid’s arms. He smiles at me a little and then motions that he’s going to bed. Gently he wakes Sienna, kissing her face and when she burrows into his chest, he picks her up and carries her to the bedroom.
And now we’re alone.
But it’s like with the aloneness and the alcohol, Caleb gets a little bolder, moving so I’m now sitting between his legs, my body resting against his chest. He smells amazing, like summer mixed with tequila and I let myself ease against him.
I feel my eyes grow heavy almost immediately and I know if I stay out here any longer, I’ll be asleep. As much as I want to wake up in the morning with my body wrapped around Caleb’s again, Sienna and Reid are here. It will look like so much more than just us finding comfort in each other, and the last thing I want to do is add stress to Caleb’s already stressful life by having him try to explain it to his sister.
“I’m going to go to bed. I have an early class tomorrow,” I whisper, catching the time on the clock. It’s just after one a.m. and while I’m used to staying up late, I try my best to get to bed before one when I have class at nine the next day.
Caleb gives a tip of his head that’s almost unnoticeable, but I feel his head move against my hair. I move away from him and instantly feel the loss of comfort in having him near, and when I stand up, I’m hit with just how much I’ve drunk. I’m dizzy and I stumble to the side as Caleb reaches up, his hands connecting with my hips roughly as he holds me in place.
I giggle a little, but when I look down at him, his eyes are dark, his pupils wide, and when he wets his lips all I can think about is kissing him.
“Be careful,” he warns and for a second I think he’s warning me to stay away from him, but then he smiles.
“Good night, Caleb,” I whisper, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek, but I let my lips wander until I’m almost touching his, the corner of my mouth, resting against his. We stay like this, suspended in the moment, so close but still so far away. My shirt hangs loose as I’m leaning over him and I feel the warmth of Caleb’s fingers trace a path along the waist of my shorts.
“Good night, Ruby,” he murmurs, pulling away from me far quicker than I would like and I practically run back to my bedroom.
I flop down on my bed and with my face buried in the pillows I let out a muffled scream of excitement.
How the hell am I supposed to fall asleep now?
Chapter Six
Caleb
We were so close to kissing just now.
So fucking close.
I couldn’t do it though. Not because I didn’t want to, I definitely want to. But Ruby and I are friends, nothing more, and as much I might want something else, there’s not a chance in hell I can go there, not when my life is such a fucking mess. She deserves better than what I have to offer her, including a random one night hook-up because both of us have had a few too many drinks.
I already pushed it further than I should have on the couch tonight, pulling her to sit beside me, wrapping my arm around her, fuck, moving her so she was sitting between my legs. I
don’t even know why I did any of it.
I blame the alcohol for sure and the way the whole night had just felt so totally fucking normal. The four of us hanging out like this, eating, drinking, talking and laughing, as though this is my life now. As though Ruby is my girlfriend or something, like how my sister is Reid’s.
But that’s not what we are and as the movie continues to play, everyone now in bed, I know I was dancing a really fine line tonight. A line that I can’t cross no matter how much I might want to.
I must eventually doze off to thoughts of Ruby and what we could be if my life wasn’t such a fucking disaster, because when the nightmares finally wake me, the movie has long finished. As I sit up on the couch, my heart pounding in my chest and my whole body tense, I see the TV is now in screensaver mode and the house is almost in darkness.
Glancing at my phone, I can see it’s almost five o’clock, which means I’ve had fuck all sleep and I have to work tonight. My head pounds with a combination hangover and the remnants of this latest dream, another weird trip back in time to Providence.
Resting my head against the back of the couch, I close my eyes, hopeful that I might somehow be able to get a few more hours in before everyone else wakes up. But my brain is filled with images and memories, not of the night Raymond Bowen showed up at my house, but of last night and sitting on this couch with Ruby.
I can still remember the feel of her body resting against mine, the warmth and comfort she provided and the way she seemed to fit so perfectly against me, as though that was exactly where she was supposed to be. She smelled of coconut and tequila and I remembered wondering what she would taste like, especially when her lips had lingered so close to mine when she said goodnight.
I must doze off again, because when I next open my eyes, the sun in beaming in through the front windows and I can hear the sound of a shower running. Glancing at my phone again, I’m surprised to see it’s now seven-thirty.
Standing, I pad into the kitchen to start some coffee, remembering Ruby said she had an early class today. I’m halfway through my first cup when she finally wanders out.
“Morning,” I say, reaching for another mug.
“Morning,” she responds, sinking into a chair at the table.
I slide the cup of coffee I’ve poured in front of her. “You okay?” I ask.
She looks up at me, a sleepy look on her face. “I might be a little hungover,” she murmurs, lifting the cup and blowing on the hot contents.
I chuckle. “Yeah, I know what you mean,” I say. “You want something to eat? I can make it for you.”
Ruby shakes her head. “No, no food,” she says.
“Some Tylenol?”
“Already took some,” she says, before taking a large mouthful of coffee. She swallows the warm liquid, letting out a loud groan of satisfaction that sends a jolt of electricity straight down my spine as a million other ways she might make that sound flash through my brain.
What sound would she make when she comes?
The thought is there before I can stop it and I have to take a mouthful of my own coffee just to stop a groan at the thought of Ruby, writhing beneath me as I worship her body with my fingers and my tongue, till she’s moaning my name and coming hard.
“What I really need is to go back to bed,” she says, her voice interrupting my little fantasy, but only to add more fuel to the fire by talking about her and bed.
Fuck me.
“Maybe you should skip classes today?” I suggest, my brain already going into overdrive at the thought of her, in bed, knowing that with Reid and Sienna going to class, we’d be here all alone together.
Ruby exhales, finishing her coffee as she stands. “I wish I could,” she says, rinsing out her cup. “But I have a group thing in class that I can’t skip.”
I swallow hard, both relieved and disappointed that she can’t stay. “You don’t have a class with that creepy professor do you?”
Ruby shakes her head. “Not today.”
“Good.”
She turns to me, smiling now. “I’m starting to see what Sienna means about the protective thing.”
I step toward her, putting my cup on the counter before turning back to her, gently placing both hands on her shoulders. “Promise me you’ll tell me if he does anything,” I say, my voice firm, but low.
“Caleb…”
I shake my head once. “I mean it, Ruby,” I say. “I have a—”
“I promise,” she says, quickly cutting me off. “I better go,” she breathes out, her body sagging a little. “I’m so jealous you get to spend the day on the couch.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, but I gotta work tonight, so when you’re done for the day, you’ll be here relaxing on the couch, while I’m having to go.”
She smiles. “True.”
“You should come in,” I suggest, the words out before I even think about it. “Hang out, have a drink.” Ruby scrunches up her nose at my suggestion and I laugh. “You’ll be feeling better by then, I’m sure,” I tell her. “Besides, hair of the dog helps.”
She shakes her head at me, but she’s smiling. “Maybe,” she teases. “Okay, shit, I better go, I’ll see you later.”
“Have a good day, Ruby.”
I’m pouring a second cup of coffee when Reid wanders into the kitchen, doing that guy-style half hug from behind thing he’s been doing with me lately. “Caleb,” he says, reaching for a cup.
“Reid,” I reply, taking a seat at the kitchen table. “You okay?”
Reid shrugs. “Yeah, I’m all good.”
I give him a quick once over. “No hangover?”
Reid laughs as he turns and leans back against the kitchen counter. “No,” he says. “After two years here, I’ve gotten enough practice on handling a drinking session on a school night.”
I smirk at him, realizing it’s the total opposite for me. I rarely drank back in Providence. Not just because I had a walking example of the dangers of too much alcohol living with me, but because there was too much that had to be done. Trying to salvage the bar on a hangover was definitely too much to cope with. Hell, it was probably part of the reason Dad had screwed it up so bad.
It’s probably why I acted the way I did with Ruby last night too, so un-used to the effects of that much alcohol.
“And Sie, how’s she?”
Reid grins. “Sleeping, but that’s only ‘cause I wore her out.”
I roll my eyes, shaking my head at him, but not biting because I know that’s the only reason he says this shit to me. It is weird though, because back in high school, talking about girls is what we did. Even when he came out here to school, we’d still talk, and he’d always fill me in on whatever or whoever he’d been up to. Now though, when it involves my sister, it feels fucking strange to hear him talk about her in that way.
“So what happened with you and Ruby last night?” he asks, cheekily slipping it into the conversation, a wide grin on his face as he watches me, waiting for my response.
“What do you mean?” I reply, playing dumb as I shove a hand through my hair.
He shrugs. “You two looked pretty cozy on the couch together.”
I let out a breath as I take another sip of coffee. “Nothing, dude, we’re just friends.”
“I see,” he says, almost to himself. “So you didn’t, you know, hook up or anything after we went to bed?”
“No!” I say, my head snapping up. “Jesus, she’s Sienna’s best friend.”
Reid bursts out laughing, throwing his head back as though this is truly the funniest thing he’s ever heard. “Fuck man,” he says, still laughing. “Pretty sure Sie gave up any right to call you on that shit the second she and I got together.”
“Maybe,” I murmur, knowing that’s not the issue here anyway.
“Anyway,” he continues. “I know she’d be cool with it, seriously. So why don’t you?” He pauses, grinning at me. “You seem to get along and my guess is you think she’s pretty hot?”
I roll
my eyes again. “It’s not exactly that simple.”
“Why?” he asks, arms out in question. “If you like her, do something about it.”
“And what if she doesn’t like me?” I ask. “What if she’s just happy with us being friends?” It’s not just that though. It’s all the other things us being a couple would mean. Like how she’d find out just how messed up I truly am.
“Nah,” he says, shaking his head as he finishes his coffee and immediately pours another cup. “She likes you.”
I push out from the table and walk over to the sink, rinsing out my cup. “Well, it doesn’t matter, because nothing can happen.”
“Why?” Reid asks, arms crossed over his chest as he turns to meet my gaze.
My eyes flick around the room before meeting his. “Look at me, Reid. I’m sleeping on a couch at my sister’s house,” I say. “I’ve got no life plans, no savings, no car. And my head’s a fucking mess.” I point to it as if to reinforce my point.
“Dude,” he says, standing in front of me. “None of that material shit is important, you know that. And you do have money and plans and who gives a fuck if you’re sleeping on your sister’s couch. She loves having you here. Hell, so do I.” He pauses, his gaze never looking away from me. “And as for this,” he adds, reaching out so his hand is cupping the back of my head. “This isn’t permanently broken, you know that. There’s nothing wrong with you, Caleb.”
I meet his gaze, see the truth in his words, along with the shadows of guilt I know he still feels about all of this. Taking a deep breath, I let it out on a long exhale, nodding once. “Well, whatever, I’m pretty sure Ruby and I are firmly in the friend zone,” I say, my mind immediately going back to last night, to that lingering kiss she gave me that could have so easily turned into something more.