So, she had her secrets. Everyone did. “Was this the first you heard of it?”
She nodded.
“I wouldn’t worry about it. If version three of the story isn’t circling the rumor mill by now, you’re probably safe.”
“I hadn’t thought of that,” she said with a laugh. “You do have a point. Anyway, I get the feeling people around here take Clarence with a grain of salt. Which makes him more of a liability in terms of my running for sheriff. So basically I moved here for nothing.”
“Personally, I’m glad you did.”
Her lips curved up a bit.
Okay, he got that it might’ve sounded like a bad line. But he meant it. If not for Grace, he would’ve been back in LA already. He hadn’t spoken to Lena yet. She’d texted him that she was in meetings most of the day and would call later. Her tone had completely changed, so Ben wasn’t worried. Still pissed, but not concerned that she’d squash the deal.
“What did you do today?” Grace asked. “Anything exciting?”
His throat went dry. The conversation with his mom hadn’t completely sunk in yet. He’d tried talking to Claudia twice now, but his sister was just as confused as he, and they’d only gotten on each other’s nerves by raising more questions.
“I was at the Sundance.” He shrugged, unsettled by the impulse to tell Grace everything. It would be pointless. They didn’t know each other that well. Or have much time left together. Talking about his messed-up life wasn’t how he wanted to use it.
“Lucky you. It’s beautiful out there.” Grace started, then pulled out her phone. Probably had it on vibrate. She studied the screen, smiled and then slid the phone back into her pocket.
“You need to make a call? I can pull over and give you privacy.”
“No, thanks. It’s my dad. He usually texts me once a day. Nothing important.” She shrugged, but sounded wistful. “Just to say hi and that he misses me. My mom died when I was young, so it’s been just the two of us,” she added as if apologizing.
“Nice that you have a close relationship with him. He’s still living in Arizona?”
She nodded, the brief sadness in her face twisting his gut. Grace may not have run from a bad relationship, but something had chased her out of Arizona.
He thought of his mom, and what she had revealed to him this morning. How she’d fled Mexico, leaving behind her family and all she knew, running as far as the meager stash she’d hidden could take her and two young children. Her only goal had been to protect them. Hilda’s strength and determination amazed him.
Ben glanced at Grace’s profile, the delicate bone structure that hid the steel beneath, the scrapes on her pale arms. The two women were a lot alike, his mother and Grace. Both strong and courageous.
They drove in silence for a couple miles.
“Twelve years,” he said, glancing at her. “The other day you asked how long I’d lived at the Sundance. I was six when we moved to Blackfoot Falls. Eighteen when I left.”
He turned his attention back to the road. Already, he regretted his words and waited anxiously to see where the conversation led.
“Wow. It took you this long to do the math?”
Ben laughed. “Glad your mood improved.”
She grinned, let her head fall back. Then abruptly straightened as they approached the fork that would take them either to town or to the trails into the foothills.
He took the road leading away from town.
“Guess I should’ve reminded you sooner.” She spread her hands. “Obviously, I don’t have my running clothes. We’ll have to swing by The Boarding House.”
“You won’t need them.”
“What do you mean? I thought we were going to work out.”
“We are.”
“Ben?” Her eyes betrayed her excitement, even as she narrowed them in suspicion. “What are you up to?”
He smiled and steered them off the highway. The gravel road was bumpy and full of ruts. His poor Porsche. Damn, he wished he’d thought to borrow Trace’s truck. Though Ben hadn’t known in advance he’d take this detour.
Wide-eyed, Grace scanned the trees and overgrown shrubs. “Oh God, out here? Really?”
They caught a nasty dip.
He cringed and downshifted.
She bounced off the seat and grabbed the dashboard. “Should you be driving your Porsche on this terrain?”
“Nope.”
“Ben. Stop. You wreck your car, and you’ll never forgive yourself.”
He finally applied the brake, pretty sure a dead branch had just done a number on the door.
“You’re crazy,” she said, staring at him in astonishment.
“You just figure that out?”
She leaned over the console and brushed her lips across his. “Crazy and trouble in one package,” she murmured.
Before she could retreat, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. Her lips were soft and yielding, and damn, she tasted good. He’d waited all day for this. To be with Grace. He pulled back from the kiss, but he didn’t go far.
He’d learned so much this morning, major stuff. World-shifting stuff. Everything he’d thought he knew was wrong. Or at least different from what he’d believed for so long. He wasn’t okay with this new picture. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
The only thing he was sure of right now was that he wanted to be with Grace. If they had sex, that would be great, but it wasn’t the reason he was so damn glad she was here with him. Through all the confusion, the jumble of strange emotions twisting him up inside, Grace had been at the back of his mind.
She slid her fingers through his hair, and he closed his eyes, enjoying her touch, inhaling the warm, clean scent of her skin. Letting the sound of her breathy sigh soothe the tension thrumming close to the surface.
She lowered her hand to his shoulder and broke the kiss. “What’s wrong, Ben?”
He opened his eyes and saw the concern on her face. “You stopped kissing me.”
“I’m serious. Something is...I don’t know...different. Was there trouble at the Sundance?” She paused, blinked, and sank back against her door. “You’re leaving for LA tonight.”
“No.” He shook his head. “Probably in two days, though.”
Her nod seemed resigned.
“I could stretch it out another day if I let the Porsche rip. See if I can beat my time coming up here.”
Grace hesitated. “No, you will not. The last thing you need is another ticket.”
Ben chuckled. “Had to think about it, huh?”
Trying to hide a guilty smile, she lifted her chin. “I’m paid to uphold the law, not encourage people to break it.”
“Right.” In a minute he was going to strip those jeans off her. Then make love to her right here, in the open, on government land. He wondered what she’d have to say to that.
The humor left her face, and concern was back, clouding her beautiful blue eyes. “I promise not to bring this up again, but I want you to know I can listen if you need to get something off your chest.”
It was tempting to make a joke or ignore the offer and get down to business. Time was short. She’d let him seduce her. But he was blown away that she could read him so well. And just maybe he’d subconsciously been putting out signals. Crazy as it was, he wanted to tell her. About his mom, his father...about everything.
Another minute snuck by as he weighed the pros and cons, but one more look at her anxious expression convinced him to go with his gut.
He reached over the console and gripped her hand. “I found out something today that knocked the wind out of me,” he began slowly, realizing he didn’t know where to start. Letting his guard down was scary as hell. Especially with a woman he actually cared about. He’d be handing Grace confirmation that he was a foolish, s
elf-centered bastard.
“It’s okay,” she said quietly and turned her hand over so their palms met. “I’m not here to judge.”
Jesus. The woman had a sixth sense. “It’s family stuff. About how my mom, sister and I ended up in Blackfoot Falls.” He glanced around. “Look, you want to get out of the car? We don’t have to sit here.”
“I’m good.”
Not him. He was suddenly feeling claustrophobic. “I need some air.”
“All right,” she said, releasing his hand. “Let’s take a walk.”
He pushed open the door and heard a loud snap. Damn it, he’d forgotten about the dead branch. Wincing, he decided not to check for scratches. What good would it do? Whether he had to get the Porsche detailed or have it completely repainted didn’t matter. What was done was done.
Too bad he couldn’t paint over the shame of his past.
15
GRACE COULD TELL he was having second thoughts about opening up. What she didn’t know was whether she should encourage him to talk or not. The last thing she wanted was to push him away. But if listening could help...
He came around the front of the car and took her hand. Choosing the wider of two trails, they walked side by side through the tall grass and purple wildflowers. The late afternoon air was starting to cool, and the dappled sunlight felt good on her skin.
After several minutes of silence, Ben said, “This morning, my mom told me something that was pretty hard to hear. About why she took us and left my father.” Ben stopped, his sudden fascination with a stone he’d loosened with the point of his boot making her ache for him.
He looked like a little boy, all six-two of him. A little boy afraid to admit he’d done something wrong, and she wanted to wrap her arms around him, assure him it was okay.
Instead she said, “You’re determined to wreck those boots, aren’t you?”
His mouth curved in a faint smile, and he started walking again. “I have vague memories of my father. He’d be gone for weeks, but when he came home, he’d bring toys...big things like a bike for me and a dollhouse for my sister. It always seemed like Christmas when Dad was around. For my sixth birthday, he surprised me with a pony. A month later we left.”
Ben squinted up at a flock of squawking birds taking flight. “Antonio Campo. I just learned his name today. He was a businessman from Spain who’d just moved to Mexico when my mom met him. He was rich, good-looking, sophisticated, very European, and my mom...” Ben shrugged. “She was only eighteen and he was thirty. She’d just graduated from an all-girls’ Catholic school, never had a boyfriend. When Antonio started sending her flowers and buying her jewelry, she fell hard.
“At first, her parents were on board. Here was this rich guy properly courting her, making large deposits in the bank where her father was president, buying up small businesses. Then the rumors started. That the money came from drugs, that he was laundering it through the businesses. About then, Antonio proposed, and my grandfather refused to give his blessing. He told my mom if she accepted, she’d be disowned.”
Ben laughed unexpectedly.
Grace looked at him. “What?”
“I guess I’m more like my mother than I thought. She basically said ‘screw you’ and took off with Antonio.”
Grace smiled. “Were they bluffing? Or did they really disown her?”
“Oh, yeah, they cut her off.” Ben frowned. “It’s weird to think I have grandparents. I’m not even sure how to refer to them.”
“Has there been any contact? I mean, she did leave him.”
Ben rubbed his eyes. “True, but the rumors were only the tip of the iceberg. Antonio wasn’t someone you messed with...” He paused, his jaw clenched so tightly that the muscles in his neck flexed. “He bought a huge white house with extensive grounds and gardens. Then he put up a ten-foot iron fence around the whole thing. I don’t remember much. I saw some pictures today. The place was really something, more like a compound with living quarters for the help. Which included armed guards.
“My mom’s dream house ended up being her prison. Turned out Antonio was the right-hand man to the head of a large and very brutal cartel. The day his boss disappeared, Antonio took over.”
Ben slowed to a stop, his gaze avoiding hers. Grace connected the dots, and she ached for Hilda and the decisions she’d faced.
“Mom knew he could be violent and cruel, though he’d always treated us well. But it was clear that if she tried to leave or ever crossed him...” Ben looked at her. “No one would find her body.”
Grace nodded, knowing too well what he’d said was true. Her work on the task force dispelled any illusions. “What made her finally take the risk?”
“She overheard Antonio telling me that soon I’d be joining him in the family business. That was her breaking point. She knew if she didn’t get Claudia and me out of there, our lives were over anyway. My mom—” The catch in his voice brought a lump to Grace’s throat. “She didn’t contact her parents. Antonio liked that she was estranged from them. So she hoped that if they weren’t involved, he’d leave them alone. She was too afraid and ashamed to risk a card or phone call.”
He turned away again and let his head fall back. “After all she’s been through, after all I’ve put her through, she’s never let go of that shame.” Ben sighed, the sound both sad and frustrated. “I can’t imagine the courage it took for her to leave him.”
Grace wanted to touch him, but she held back. It wasn’t time for comfort yet. “How did you end up in Montana?”
“We rode buses and stayed in cheap motels until the money ran out. And then she met Barbara McAllister. I still don’t understand why she gave my mom a job. She had no skills, couldn’t even cook. Her parents had money and servants, the whole thing, so she’d grown up without having to lift a finger.” He laughed without humor. “It’s so damn ironic, her ending up a maid, housekeeper...it doesn’t matter. To think I hated when people referred to me as the McAllisters’ maid’s son.”
His reaction to her not giving Trace a ticket made sense now. “So your grandparents never really knew what happened to all of you?”
“No. Well, early on, Barbara McAllister asked an aunt to mail a letter from Kansas saying we were all right and headed to Canada. Just in case Antonio managed to intercept it. Mom prayed her parents knew enough at that point to stay away from Antonio. Since then, she’s gotten word to them twice, with both letters postmarked in Canada. Five years ago, she learned Antonio had been killed. But she’d already told Claudia and me that he’d died four years earlier. Another lie. But I understand now. I was twenty-four and still wanting to search him out, and she hoped that would make me back off. Unfortunately, by the time he actually was killed, her mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.”
“Oh, Ben. I’m so sorry,” Grace said, though words seemed inadequate.
“Yeah, me too.” He sighed. “My mother had it tough, and I didn’t make it any easier for her. When Claudia and I started asking questions, of course Mom had to lie. First she told us we were from Texas. Then it changed to Florida. As I got older, I noticed the inconsistencies and called her on every one of them. I was a real prick.”
“You can’t blame yourself for wanting answers. What child doesn’t?”
“I’m talking about later, when I was in my teens.”
“There’s a good reason teenagers can’t legally drink or vote,” she said in a teasing tone, but she could see he’d already condemned himself.
“After high school, I threatened to go look for him. Then suddenly she’d heard he’d left the country. I knew it was another lie. A month later, I took a roan from the stable to ride up to Big John Flats. I didn’t tell anyone. I’d done it before, and I was gone for only thirty minutes. But when I got back, she came running out of the house yelling that I wasn’t a McAllister and had to
stop taking things without permission.”
He kicked the ground again, hard. “I saw red. I was embarrassed and sick to death of being reminded I was the help.” He held his breath for a long moment before he let it all out. “The McAllisters never treated me that way. In fact, Gavin and Barbara sat me down that same night and told me nothing had changed. I was family, no different from their own boys. I should forgive my mom because she’d been frightened that I’d run off. I thanked them, packed what could fit in a duffel bag and left the next morning. That was fifteen years ago.”
Grace blinked. “This is the first time you’ve seen your mother since you left?”
He nodded.
“Oh. Wow.”
“Yeah,” he said. “For months, no one knew if I was dead or alive. I finally called my sister. Wouldn’t even tell her I was in LA. I wish my mom had just told me the truth. I was eighteen...I could’ve handled it.”
Grace started to say something, reconsidered and pressed her lips together.
“What?” Ben studied her. “Say it.”
She stared back at him, knowing this was a no-win situation. “She was right not to tell you.” Grace saw the defensiveness in his eyes. “Clearly, you were too angry to think rationally.”
“I was mad because of the lies. It was obvious she was hiding something.” He exhaled, the sound harsh with frustration. “Sure, I was curious about him, but I wasn’t gonna look him up and bond over his drug business. Don’t get me wrong...I’ll always regret putting her through hell. But a lot of time passed between her lie that he was dead and his actual death. I was an adult, and should’ve been given the choice. Now my options are gone.”
Given the way he’d left home, Grace doubted he’d been emotionally ready for the truth. Even now, he was having trouble processing the new information. He’d been living on uncertainty and suppositions, and now the world as he’d known it was crumbling. A world where he’d been the victim, the person wronged. Now he had to come to grips with an entirely different scenario.
Anywhere with You Page 15