by Penelope Sky
“No!”
He kicked it away then shackled both of my hands behind my back with one of his. Without the same gentleness he showed me before, he shoved me against the wall and pressed his chest into my body, keeping me in anchored in place.
Just like the last time he pinned me down, I could hardly move.
I was completely at his mercy.
He breathed heavily in my ear, his massive hands so strong I couldn’t even flinch. “You never had a chance, sweetheart.”
“I’ll make another chance.” My cheek was pressed against the wall, and I felt his hard-on through his sweats. My loss fueled him in many ways. “I’m not going back to him. I will never stop trying to kill you, asshole.”
He gripped the back of my neck, keeping me in place so easily. “I’m sorry you had to find out that way.”
“And I’m sorry for sleeping with you. I’m sorry for thinking you were a good man. You’re no better than him…”
He kept his mouth pressed to my ear. “You don’t have the full story, sweetheart.”
“I don’t care about the full story.” I tried to buck off him with my hips, to catch him off guard with my words. “I hate you, Carter. You can’t send me back to that monster. You have no idea what kind of shit he does to me.”
He pressed his forehead to the back of my head. A quiet sigh escaped his mouth. “Trust me, I don’t like this.”
“If you meant that, you would let me go.”
“It’s not that simple. My hands are tied.”
“No,” I hissed, bucking against him again. “My hands are tied.”
His hands loosened on my wrists, and he forced me to turn around. Pressing my back against the wall with my hands pinned beside me, he looked into my face. With a clenched jaw and remorseful eyes, he didn’t seem like the monster he’d just revealed himself to be. “I hate this, sweetheart. I mean that.”
“No, you don’t. You would let me go if you did.”
He clenched his jaw. “I can’t.”
“You can do anything, Carter. If you really give a shit about me, do the right thing. Be a good man.” A slight jolt of hope moved into my heart when I saw the sadness in his eyes. His feelings seemed sincere, as if he didn’t like the situation we were in.
“I can’t.” This time, his voice emerged as a whisper. “If I let you go, Egor will come after my family. I can’t allow that to happen. They’ve already been through enough.”
“And you don’t think I have a family?” I hissed. “Why is your life more important than mine?”
“I never said it was. But my family’s life is more important to me than yours.” He cocked his head to the side slightly, his eyes narrowing in pain. “I have to choose—and I have to choose them. When I bought you, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.”
I listened to every word, wanting an explanation for our situation. How did Carter get mixed up with Egor in the first place?
He sighed before he continued. “My cousin and I buy trafficked women from the Underground. We’ve been doing it for years. Their families pay us to get them out of the situation. We pretend to be genuine buyers. Once the money is transferred, we keep them for a while to avoid suspicion, and then we return them, untouched by us, to their families.”
It was so selfless and sweet, I could hardly believe what I was hearing. “What…?”
“When Egor asked me to buy you, I’d already retired from the business. My family and I decided it was too risky. But he gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse, more money than anyone had ever offered me before. He told me he was your brother…and I believed him.”
Fucking asshole.
“It wasn’t until I had you in my captivity that I realized he was lying. He had business to attend to, so he asked me to keep you for a month before I handed you over.”
It’d been almost a month since I’d arrived here. That meant I only had days left.
“Here we are now…” He sighed as he looked at me, his jaw tight. “I tried to interact with you as little as possible. I didn’t want to get attached to you, especially since I’ve been attracted to you since the moment you jumped out of my car. You’re like a lamb that’s about to be slaughtered…I shouldn’t make you a pet. But of course, that didn’t happen. I wanted an excuse to have you, to keep it violent and nonconsensual so there would be no emotion involved… That didn’t work. I wanted to be a bad guy for once, to live out a fantasy since the situation was perfect. But I couldn’t go through with it…and here we are.”
My hands were still pinned to the wall with his strength. Even though I wasn’t fighting him, he never relaxed his hold. He knew I would do anything to escape, and this story wouldn’t change my objective.
“I’m not as evil as you think I am. I just made a mistake.” He moved in closer to me, his lips close to mine. “I never would have bought you if I’d known. I should have been smarter. I should have been less greedy. I shouldn’t have cared about the money, especially when I don’t even need it.”
Now everything made sense. He didn’t strike me as an evil guy. I would know since I was always in the company of the cruelest men in the world. His love for his family suggested he had empathy and compassion, and judging by the fact that he wouldn’t rape me, it indicated he had a soul under that hard chest.
“I’m sorry, Mia.” He looked me in the eye as he said it. “I hate this. It makes me sick to my stomach to hand you back to him. You deserve better than that. You deserve to be free… I’ve always thought that.”
I could feel his sincerity in his touch as well as his words. I could feel the remorse, the overwhelming sadness.
He bowed his head and stared at the ground for a moment, his fingers relaxing around my wrists. “If I could let you go, I would. But Egor is the kind of man I don’t want to cross. My family is in the middle of some serious shit with the Skull Kings. My cousin almost died because of it. If I provoke Egor, I’ll drag my family into another war…and we can’t fight on two fronts.” He lifted his gaze and looked at me again. “I’m sorry. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.”
I looked into his gaze and somehow found comfort in the look. I knew he was at war with himself, wanting to protect me as well as his family. He was in a difficult situation, and no matter what he decided, he lost.
But I shouldn’t feel bad for him, not when I had to worry about myself. “I believe everything you said…but you still have to let me go. I know you need to protect your family, but I have a family too. I can’t go back to him. I won’t go back to him.”
He released my wrists, assuming I was subdued. “There’s no other way, Mia.”
“I will kill you, Carter.” I looked him in the eye as I unleashed my threat. “I don’t want to, but I will. Nothing is gonna stop me…not this time.”
He gave a slight nod in understanding. “Then I’ll have to chain you up until it’s time—not that I want to do that. I was hoping we could enjoy each other a little longer…that you could be happy for a little longer.”
“You think I’m happy?” I asked coldly.
His eyes shifted back and forth as he looked into mine.
I’d never told Carter the truth about my life because I was too afraid he would use it against me. But now that his true colors were revealed, I knew exactly who he was. “You have to let me go…because I have a son.”
Carter stiffened noticeably at the revelation, his eyes stilling as they focused on me. His arms rested by his sides, but his shoulders were tight with the revelation. He took in a deep breath, like the information pained him.
“He’s eight. I haven’t seen him in three years, not since Egor captured me. There were times when I wanted to kill myself in Egor’s captivity. The only reason why I didn’t was because of my son…because I have to survive for him.” My eyes watered as I remembered my darkest times, when I thought about hanging myself in my own prison cell. The temptation rose several times. Death sounded so sweet, sounded so wonderful. My little boy was
the only reason I resisted. “Please help me, Carter. My son needs me. You love your mother…imagine life without her. Even as a grown man, you still need her.”
He bowed his head, unable to look at me.
I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me.
He complied, but his eyes were still full of self-loathing.
“Please,” I whispered.
“Why didn’t you mention this before?”
“And risk you using him against me?” I whispered. “Egor threatened to do it all the time, but he never did because I always complied with his demands.”
He pushed my hand away, forcing my fingers off his chin.
“Carter, do the right thing. My son doesn’t have a father. All he has is me. I don’t want him to grow up and forget about me…” Tears built up in my eyes until they started to fall down my cheeks. “I want to raise my son into a man. I want to go to his soccer games. I want to be there every day, to make up for all the time I lost. I can’t do that unless you help me. So please help me.”
He stepped back, his hands moving to his hips. “You know I would help you if I could. But if I set you free, he’ll come after me and my family. My family is innocent. I can’t involve them in this.”
“And my son is innocent,” I said. “I’m innocent. You said you would help all those women… Now help me.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Doesn’t matter. My only crime was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Egor spotted me in a bar, and in that moment, he decided I was his and he would never let me go. I had no power to stop him. He put a bag over my head as soon as I walked outside, and his men threw me in the back of a van. How can you let him get away with it?”
He rubbed the back of his head. “I won’t change my mind, Mia. My family is everything to me.”
“So is mine…”
He dragged his hands down his chest, his movements accompanied with a sigh. “You’re asking me to make a sacrifice I can’t make. I’m very sorry that you’re in this position. I’m sorry that your son is out there somewhere without his mother. I really wish things were different…I mean that. But you’re asking for more than I can give.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, knowing the knife was too far away for me to reach. “If you do this for me, I will do anything for you. I will be your maid and your fantasy. I will do whatever you ask…for the rest of my life. I would be eternally bound to you…always.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, intrigued by the request.
“I will let you whip me whenever you want. I will let you do whatever you wish. I will be obedient and grateful. I will make your house spotless and put dinner on the table every night. I will be your servant for as long as you want. Just give me back my son…give me back my life.”
He dropped his gaze again, remaining silent.
I took his silence as a good sign. Instead of rejecting me right away, he actually considered my request. I was giving him something he wanted, a dark fantasy he wanted to fulfill. He wanted to ruin my skin with more scars. He wanted to make me cry as he fucked me. He could have all of those things, turn me into his private whore, if he made this sacrifice for me. It was something I would gladly give…in exchange for my son.
He shook his head slightly. “It doesn’t change the problem. I’ll never be able to enjoy you if I’m constantly at war with Egor.”
“Then figure out a way to avoid the war.”
“How so?” he demanded.
“Pretend I killed myself.”
“He’s going to want to see proof.”
“Then give him proof,” I said. “Make it happen. Do something.”
He sighed again, frustrated to his core. “You’re simplifying everything.”
“No. I’m giving you solutions.”
He rubbed the back of his head. “It’s still a risk I’m taking.”
“If you give me back, you’re still taking a risk.”
He dropped his hand, his eyebrow raised. “How so?”
Carter wasn’t evil the way Egor was. The second he handed me over, the guilt would eat him alive. Knowing my son would always be alone in the world would be a burden he would have to carry. He would have to live with the fact that a mother and son were permanently separated. “Because you won’t be able to live with yourself.”
Eleven
Vanessa
I was used to morning sex—even if I wasn’t really awake at the time. Bones took what he wanted when he felt like it, pretty much the same way I did. He didn’t explain his behavior or make apologies for it either. He just went for it.
Now it was part of our daily routine.
But that morning, it didn’t come.
When I opened my eyes, it was almost eight. Bones usually woke me up the first time at seven in the morning. He moved between my legs, got off, and then headed to the gym. I assumed there was something wrong because our routine never changed.
I sat up and looked around the room, not seeing anything unusual. I pulled on his t-shirt and walked into the living room, expecting to see him at the dining table with his morning coffee. He was usually shirtless, his ink vibrant against his fair skin.
Instead, I saw him sitting on the couch, fully clothed in black jeans and a t-shirt. His bag was on the floor beside the coffee table. His elbows rested on his knees, and his chin was tilted toward the floor, his eyes downcast instead of on the TV or me.
I knew what that meant.
I knew he had two more missions to do. This was the first one.
I’d convinced myself I could do this. It was just two more, and it would be over for good. Bones was a strong man who was capable of anything. He would come back to me. He was powerful, fast, and experienced, and there was nothing he couldn’t handle. There was nothing that would stop him from coming back to me.
But no matter how many times I whispered those assurances to myself, it didn’t change anything.
It didn’t heal my broken heart.
I stared at his black bag on the floor then took a deep breath, doing my best to be calm about the situation. Getting emotional wouldn’t change anything. It would just make it harder for both of us. I knew he waited until the last possible moment to limit my suffering.
But now, I would suffer every single moment he was gone.
Bones sighed before he rose to his feet. “Baby…”
I crossed my arms over my chest and refused to look at him.
He faced me, the couch between us. “Only two more.”
All it took was one bad mission to take him away from me. All it took was one stray bullet. I’d lost him once, and now that my life was complete, I couldn’t bear that pain again. I’d finally found the man I wanted to spend my life with, to sleep with every night, and I wanted to hold on to that so tightly that it never slipped through my fingers.
When I turned my gaze back on him, I saw the structured way he held himself, his muscular arms hanging by his sides and stretching the sleeves of his t-shirt. He watched me with his hard gaze, waiting for me to say something about the horrible situation we were in.
But I didn’t have anything to say. It was just too horrible to address.
He sighed when I remained silent. “I’ll be gone three days. Short trip.”
“For you…” I turned away again, not wanting to look at him.
“It’ll be over before you know it.”
“Again, for you…”
He moved around the couch and approached me, his footsteps heavy in his boots. “Baby, you’re stronger than this.”
“Stronger than this?” My neck nearly snapped when I turned my head. “You think I’m weak for not wanting you to go? You think I’m weak because I want my man to stay here with me, to live the quiet life he promised me? You think I’m weak because I don’t want to sleep alone? Griffin, I’m stronger when you’re here. I’m braver when you’re here. Because I know I can do anything as long as you’re beside me. If that makes me weak…then, fine.
Guess I’m weak.”
He bowed his head slightly, visibly regretting his words.
“I don’t understand why you have to go. There are three other men who want to be part of this. They’ll have to manage without you then, so why can’t they manage without you now?” Maybe I was being selfish, but I didn’t want to live without Bones ever again. I’d already paid my dues with my suffering.
“Because.” He lifted his head, his intense gaze staring into mine. “They had my back when I saved your family. They didn’t have to do that. They weren’t obligated. They didn’t even want to until I asked. These guys are family to me. I owe them everything. I’m not turning my back on them—not even for you.”
I was suddenly overwhelmed with embarrassment, feeling selfish for making my demands. Bones did something unforgettable for my family. I forgot that his men made the same sacrifice.
“Just as you didn’t turn your back on your family when it came to me. We both have loyalties to other people—loyalties that we both respect.”
I tightened my arms across my chest. “I hate this.” I closed my eyes for a brief moment, and that’s when the tears started. “I can’t lose you, okay? I don’t want to feel that agony again. I’m so damn happy, and I never want to not be happy again.”
“I’m happy too, baby. This is the only time I’ve ever been happy—when I found you.”
My eyes softened, just the way they always did when he said something like that.
“Two more times.” His massive shoulders tensed with the words. “That’s it.”
Getting upset wouldn’t change what was about to happen. I had to tuck my chin and prepare for the hit. A part of me wished someone would put me in a coma until he came back, just so I wouldn’t have to suffer the stress.
“Then I’ll never leave again.”
“Okay…”
He crossed the distance between us and moved his palms up my cheeks until his fingertips reached my hair. He tilted my chin up, forcing me to look at him. Instead of kissing me, he gazed into my eyes with the love that thudded deep in his look. His thumb brushed across my bottom lip, and he sighed as he looked down at me. “Where are you going to stay?”