“What the fuck?” I mutter as my eyes cut over to the glass floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the Financial District, which is quiet on this Sunday morning.
“It’s true,” JT says quietly, and my gaze slides back to him. “I might be a douche on most days and cross a lot of fucked-up boundaries, but you know me, Beck. I wouldn’t hurt a woman like that.”
Christ…he looks sincere. Sounds sincere too, but I also know JT is slick and charming when he wants to be. I have no clue if I’m being hoodwinked or not, and now all of my resolve to wrest the company away from him is crumbling. I make another attempt to poke at the merits of what he’s telling me.
“I don’t buy it,” I grit out. “It’s more than just what I saw last night. The drugs…taking advantage of the Babies…you fucking invested some of our money into a bad venture last quarter and we took a beating. You did that without my knowledge.”
“I know,” he says, his hands coming up in supplication. “All fucking bad moves on my part. But I’m telling you, Beck…if the choice is to get my shit together or lose out on one of my best friends and an amazing company I helped to create, I’m fucking telling you right now, no bullshit…I’ll get it together. I’m just asking for another chance. I deserve it.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. What do you do when someone like JT with an ego the size of Mount Everest sits before you completely remorseful, accepting responsibility, and practically begging for another chance? A feeling of desperation overtakes me, equal parts wanting to believe in him and regain the sanctity of our business relationship—possibly our friendship—and at the same time wanting to cut ties with someone who I believe ultimately could be my downfall.
While my brain works out its inner turmoil, I wonder briefly what Sela would have me do. I know she dislikes JT intensely, and while we didn’t talk about it last night—hello, too busy fucking—I know she was beyond disgusted with him. Will she think poorly of me if I don’t cut him loose? Will she believe my morals are as compromised as his?
Should I even care what she thinks?
Fuck yeah, I should. I’m starting to care more and more for all things Sela Halstead, and the mere fact she’s taking up residence in my thought process in making a business decision sort of says it all, right?
“Beck,” JT says with soft emotion, and my eyes raise up to meet his. “I do not want to fight you for this company. I know you’ve had a lawyer look at things and I’m sure you know…unless I’m doing something illegal in the running of the business, it’s going to be a fight you won’t win. So I’m begging you…let’s work this out. Let’s get back on track and be a team again. I swear to you I’ll get my shit together and we’ll make this company even more fucking phenomenal than it already is.”
I fight against it, but my shoulders sag the minute the words leave his mouth. Regardless the head of steam I came in with, he’s managed to cut my legs out from underneath me with a well-planned, one-two-three-combo punch.
One, he did not illegally drug that woman last night. She apparently agreed to it.
Two, he is promising to get back on track with our business.
Three, he’s reminded me that I can’t take the company away from him and I’ll still have to walk if I want out.
More than that, I can’t overlook the years of friendship we have between us. I can’t discount the tremendously deep ties we have, even if he has no clue just how important they are to me.
“I’m not sure I trust in your ability to grow the fuck up,” I tell JT truthfully.
He gives an understanding laugh and nods at me. “I get it. Just give me the chance.”
Sighing, I lean forward in the chair. “I’d like to request that you get my approval before any other major financial decisions are made.”
“Done,” he says with an earnest smile.
“And I want to see that agreement.”
“Done.”
And Christ…it looks like my hopes of coming out the victor after the meeting today have completely splintered.
“All right,” I say with resignation and sudden longing to get back to the condo and sink myself into Sela. “I’ll give you a shot. But this is the one and only shot I’ll give.”
“I won’t let you down,” he says, and leans forward on the couch, extending his hand to me. I reach across and take it, a firm handshake of renewed promise occurring between us.
When we release, I stand up. “I need to get going.”
“Big plans with your girl today?” JT asks, pushing up from his seat with a knowing tone that causes me to go immediately back on the defensive.
“My girl?” I ask, playing stupid. While I’m not embarrassed or shy about the fact I’ve asked Sela to move in with me, for some reason I don’t want JT knowing this. I’m guessing it has to do with his lewd interest in her last Wednesday when she came to the office.
“Yeah…Sela…wasn’t that her name?” he says offhandedly as we move toward my office door. “I saw you with her last night at the party. You two looked cozy.”
“Yeah, Sela,” I say vaguely without offering anything more as we walk out my door. I’m silent as I close it behind us and lock it.
“Dude…is she a Sugar Baby or what?” JT asks with a playful punch to my shoulder. His grin is open, not mocking at all. It seems like the old JT…the one I used to know way back when.
“No, she’s not a Sugar Baby,” I snap at him, but then decide if I’m going to give him a chance, I’ve got to truly give it to him. “But she has moved in with me.”
JT whistles low through his teeth and gives an amused shake of his head that isn’t mocking, but seemingly genuinely pleased for me. “Beck North…falling to commitment and monogamy. Never thought I’d see the day.”
“Yeah, well…it’s still early on. I might not even know what the fuck I’m doing, but I’m going for it.”
We turn to walk down the hall toward the lobby. JT puts a hand on my shoulder and gives me a hard squeeze. “I’m happy for you, bro. You deserve a good woman, and she seems like the type that would suit you.”
“She’s great,” I admit, surprised by how nice it feels to talk about her with someone. Even JT, who just as recently as last week came on to her right in front of me, the fucker.
“Maybe we should all do dinner one night together,” JT suggests. “This is pretty epic that you have a girlfriend. Isn’t this like your first ever?”
Girlfriend?
Sela Halstead…my girlfriend?
I hadn’t thought of her like that before. Not until the word came out of JT’s mouth and it didn’t sound disgusting, but rather felt kind of right.
Yes…I have a girlfriend, and JT is right about that. First one ever.
I’m fucking twenty-eight years old and I have a girlfriend.
I give a bemused shake of my head and JT and I exit the building together. We part ways as he gets into a cab and I head toward the Millennium, intent on walking back the six blocks so I can continue to ponder everything that happened this morning.
Chapter 17
Sela
I don’t hear the condo door open, but I do hear the jangle and clank of Beck’s keys as he tosses them onto the foyer table. I stay on my side, facing the windows overlooking the Financial District, and wait for him to come to me. I woke up about twenty minutes ago and was content to stay under the warm covers and consider how drastically my life seems to be changing on an almost daily basis.
I am now somehow involved in a relationship with a man I targeted as an unwitting pawn in a scheme to commit murder.
Beck North started out as a means to an end, most likely an innocent bystander, and I sacrificed what few remaining principles I had in order to bring him deeper into my web. And yet, as I lie here and stare out the window, envisioning the gorgeous man walking down the hallway to me at this very moment, I can’t help but feel that perhaps I’m the one who’s trapped in a web at this moment.
I can’t help feeling that’s not a bad thing.
> Cool air hits my naked backside, then to my surprise, an equally naked Beck slides into the bed and presses in against me, his chest to my back, his arm around my waist, his pelvis and hardening dick to my butt, and his legs tangling with mine. He pulls me in deeper and rests his chin on my shoulder.
“Did I wake you up?” he asks softly, sliding his hand up to cup my breast. He does nothing more than press his warm palm to my skin and hold it in a gentle cradle.
I shake my head. “I’ve been up for a little bit.”
“How do you feel?” he asks tentatively.
“Very well used,” I tell him on a light laugh, and then after a slight hesitation, I offer an honest admission. “Fantastic actually.”
A low chuckle rumbles against me and he squeezes me closer. “Me too.”
Both of us…reveling in the newness of what we agreed to enter into last night. Me, right this moment, amazed at how good it feels to have him wrapped around me.
Me…Sela Halstead…perhaps no longer a victim? Perhaps becoming a normal woman who enjoys intimacy?
Craves it actually…with this man, that is.
Amazing.
“How did it go?” I ask him, and thus I’ve opened us up to have a discussion about his business. But I figured, what the hell…we are now in a relationship, so why not. Besides…all starry-eyed romantic notions aside, I still need intel on JT, and this is the best way to get it.
“I think we worked things out,” he says after a moment’s hesitation.
“How so?” I ask, feeling a little out of sorts. Beck sounds far too calm.
“JT’s promised to get his shit together. It seemed genuine—”
I spin in the bed, flopping over onto my side to face Beck. I’m outraged for a blinding second and my hands come to press on his chest to push him back from me so I can look him directly in the eye. “He tried to drug a woman last night,” I grit out, my blood raging with fury.
Beck shakes his head and his hands come to cover mine with a reassuring squeeze. “That’s what I thought too, Sela. I was prepared to force him to leave with that, and if he refused, I was calling the police.”
“So why isn’t that asshole sitting in the back of a police car right now?” I ask sarcastically.
“Because the woman agreed to it,” Beck says with what I admit is a clear sound of disgust. “There’s a written agreement.”
I rear backward and my eyebrows shoot to the middle of my forehead before coming back down in a narrowed gaze of suspicion. “Agreed to it?”
“It was a fantasy of hers apparently,” Beck says with a sheepish shrug.
“Or of his,” I retort, but then immediately ask, “Did you see the agreement?”
He shakes his head. “He’ll get it to me tomorrow.”
I drop my eyes, look at his hands gripping mine against his chest. “I don’t believe it. I don’t trust him.”
Beck pulls a hand from mine, puts his knuckles under my chin, and raises my gaze back to his. “Hey…I get you’re upset about what he did, but if there’s an agreement and that was consensual, I can’t do anything about it.”
“It wasn’t consensual,” I say bitterly, and pull away from him, rolling the opposite way toward the edge of the bed. Why can’t he see Jonathon Townsend for what he really is?
“Hey,” Beck exclaims, and his arm is wrapping around my waist, pulling me back. He comes to his knees, drags me back into him, and brings both arms around to hold me tight. His chin goes back to my shoulder and he asks softly, “What’s this all about?”
I shrug.
“Sela…talk to me,” he demands.
“There’s something wrong with him,” I whisper, my voice clogging with emotion. I want so badly to tell Beck exactly what I mean by that, but I can’t tell him the truth yet. To do that would be to expose my intentions. Beck would see immediately that he was targeted and he would question my feelings for him. I can’t do that. I can’t give him up, nor the close positioning that a relationship with Beck puts me in with JT.
“He’s wayward,” Beck agrees with frustration. “A douche. Irrational, impulsive, and immature. He’s all of that, but he’s promised to get his shit together, Sela, and outside of some clear wrongdoing on his part with regard to the company, I don’t have much choice but to go along with it. The only chance I had to break free was the threat of exposing him to the police last night, but that’s not an option now.”
I sag back against Beck, completely exhausted over this conversation. I hear it in Beck’s voice…he’s torn between wanting to get away from a bad situation and the hope that comes with promises of something better. It’s certainly an easier fix, and I try desperately to give credence to Beck’s thought process.
In his mind, he has nothing concrete to use against JT. He’s backed into a corner and he can either walk or hope for a peaceful resolution with a bit more patience on his part. Is it wrong that he’s choosing this option versus leaving his dream behind?
I don’t think I can find fault with that, and while I know deep in my gut that JT was planning to drug and rape that woman last night, and I don’t believe for a moment that there’s a legitimate agreement in place whereby that woman agreed to that, I have to be careful about how strong my opposition is at this point. I can never underestimate not only the bonds of a long-lasting friendship between those men, but the fact that Beck and JT are intertwined by a lot of fucking money that might be more important to Beck than how great a fuck I am.
I sigh, sink further into Beck, and lean my head back so it rests on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I mutter. “I just don’t like your partner, but I totally get where you’re coming from.”
“Sela,” Beck murmurs, sounding frustrated and exhausted all at once. “This is my only option at this moment. It doesn’t mean I trust him fully and doesn’t mean that he won’t fuck this up. It’s just the only play I have.”
I nod and bring my arms up and over his, holding him tighter to me. “I know. I understand.”
Beck sighs in relief and then places his teeth at my earlobe. He gives a playful bite, then licks before he says, “JT wants to do dinner with us both. He seems happy for me.”
I tense up but try to sound inquisitively relaxed when I ask, “Oh yeah? You told him about us?”
“I did,” Beck says, sounding happy with himself. “JT called you my girlfriend. Sounds sort of high schoolish, doesn’t it?”
There’s no helping the laugh that comes out of my mouth, because it does sound a little immature. I can’t help jumping off track from my concerns when I ask, “So…is this like official or something? We’re, what…dating?”
“Dating, fucking, cohabitating,” Beck says as he pulls me down to the bed. He rolls, and I go to my back, then he rolls right on top of me. My legs spread on their own accord and he settles in between them. I love the way the hairs on his legs brush against my smooth skin and the warmth of his cock that’s semihard and nestled against my bare mound. “I’m not sure what label you and I have at this point, but I’m liking where we are right at this moment.”
My eyes flutter closed and I moan as he presses his pelvis down and rotates his hips a bit. “Mmmmmm…me too.”
“Sela?” Beck says softly, and my eyes open slowly to look at him. His face is hovering over mine and his gaze is sparkling with intensity. “Do you trust me? I mean…at least in the way I’m handling JT right now?”
“Well, that’s not for me to say,” I offer hesitantly.
“Yes, it is,” he admonishes me with a stern look. “You don’t like him. Your run-ins with him have been less than stellar, and so you have very good reason not to like him. And while you and I haven’t known each other long, I think we’re both trying to build something here, and I don’t want my personal or business decisions causing you to doubt me.”
I blink in surprise at the desperation in his voice. I raise a hand, place it to his cheek, and realize with utter honesty that while I may not like what JT is doing to Beck, I
do in fact trust what Beck’s decided to do in that regard. I, better than anyone, know that sometimes you have to go with the long-range plan when it comes to dealing with snakes like Jonathon Townsend.
I nod. “Yes. I trust what you’re doing with JT.”
Relief swells within Beck’s blue eyes and he smiles at me in gratitude. His face drops closer and his lips brush against me briefly before his forehead drops to mine. He holds still there for a moment, and I close my eyes, relishing this softly intimate embrace of silence.
“Sela?” Beck whispers my name again and then he pulls his face away. Looking down at me with the most serious expression I’ve ever seen on his beautiful face, he asks, “Would you trust me to let me fuck you without a condom?”
My entire body tightens with shock over his proposition and then clenches even harder with the sinful wonder of what that would feel like. I then flush warm, not from the erotic suggestion, but from the care and trust that this implies. I think I feel the stone of my heart actually start to disintegrate, collapsing in wispy, dusty piles at the bottom of my chest.
I open my mouth to answer him, but he’s apparently not done. He kisses me hard, then speaks to me in urgent whispers. “You see, because here’s the thing…I’m closer to you right now than any woman in my life outside of my sister, and that’s a different kind of closeness. But I want to be even closer to you. I want to crawl inside of you, Sela, and feel every inch of you against me. I don’t want any barriers and I don’t want any fucking walls between us. Just you and me, touching…you melding into me, me into you. I want to know what that feels like with you…the bare skin of my cock slippery from your juices. I want to come deep inside you, planted to the root. Mark you as mine. I want that so fucking bad. Is there enough trust between us we can have that? Would you give that to me?”
My head spins and my chest constricts with aching pleasure over his words. The lust wrapped with infinite tenderness and yearning. His eyes begging me for something I’ve never given another man. Never wanted that closeness. Always wanted that thin barrier of rubber protecting me not just from STDs but from a true connection.
Sugar Daddy (Sugar Bowl #1) Page 13