by K E Osborn
“Denzel?” he asks.
I shake my head and chuckle at myself, I forgot that even though I nickname people it doesn’t mean that others know the nicknames I’ve assigned them. “Sorry, Chief Thomas,” I reply and Hudson laughs a belly laugh, which only makes me smile. It’s so nice to hear him really laugh.
“Holy crap, I knew he reminded me of someone and I could never figure out who it was!”
I shrug and smile. “As soon as I saw him I knew he looked like Denzel, and you know what I’m like with nicknames don’t you, Rock?”
“I certainly do, TVW.” His eyes are shining so bright I can see the flecks of gold in his green and the flecks of grey in his blue eyes. It takes my breath away every time. My mouth parts slightly and I lick my lips inadvertently. I want to kiss him so badly, but I know that would be a terrible idea, even though his lips are looking utterly delectable right there in front of me.
“You okay?” Hudson asks breaking my adoring gaze.
“Yeah sorry, must be the painkillers still wreaking havoc in my brain.”
“Well, the cop who was here before filled me in a little on what’s been happening. Seems they’re still trying to find a way of bringing Mad Dog in for questioning, but they say with your testimony they should be able to bring him in soon. I think they’re trying to find a peaceful way of doing it, and making sure they get it right so the charges stick. They need to treat the situation delicately or it could end up with more bloodshed and no one wants that. But don’t worry, every one of your employees is completely safe and accounted for. None of them have even been in contact with any Dog members, so that’s a good thing,” Hudson says and I nod.
“Did they say anything about whether Mad Dog is looking for me?” I ask and Hudson frowns.
“I think that’s a given. He knows you’ve talked to us by now and the guards outside of Cupiditas gives that away also. That’s why it’s so important for you to be here because it’s not safe for you out there right now,” he says very quietly.
I nod and exhale.
“Hey, it’s okay he won’t find you here. I promise,” he says trying to reassure me unsuccessfully.
“Can I ask you a question? It’s been bugging me for ages…” I ask and he furrows his brows and nods.
“Yeah, go on.”
“Okay, so when I went snooping around your house the first night I stayed at your place.” He shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “Well, you know how I found that vest that belonged to the Rebel Dogs? Aren’t bikers really weird about those vests? Like no one is allowed to have one except for the members?”
Hudson winces and closes his eyes like he’s in real pain. He runs his fingers through his hair and exhales loudly.
“Sorry, I ah—”
“No, it’s okay, I’m fine, it just hurts still,” he says confusing me.
“What hurts?”
He looks at me and rubs the back of his neck. “I was just a cop getting ready to become a detective. My best mate Adam and I weren’t partners in the force, but he was my best friend. We grew up together and lived next door to each other when I was a kid. All through school we were both adamant we were going to become a policeman and bring down the bad guys together.”
I swallow hard as he looks down at the half-eaten sandwich in front of him.
“Well, him and his partner Doug went undercover. It was going to be the last job he’d done before he was promoted out of field work and into the office. His wife just gave birth to his third kid and he was ready to give up his dangerous undercover work. His last assignment was to bring down the Dogs from the inside. He was on track. They had made him and Doug members of the Dogs. They went through initiation and we were receiving amazing intel from them, but every time something was about to go down that we could finally bring them in for, something would happen. The location of the meet was changed and they would never show up. We should’ve known each time that happened that they were onto Doug and Adam. We should have seen the warning signs. Adam was so close, he was getting too involved and the lines were blurring for him. The Dogs treat their members like brothers and Adam was growing to love them, even though they are the lowest of the low. Nothing is off limits to them as you know. Some bikers won’t hurt woman or children, but the Dogs, well they don’t give a shit who you are, if you wrong them you’ll pay.”
I can see where this is headed and by the pained stare in Hudson’s eyes I can tell it’s not going to be a happy ending.
“Anyway, the Dogs were finally going to go down. We had a meet in place for some drug trafficking and gun muling. They were in the shit big time and we were all there waiting, hiding in the shadows and, of course, the meet time came and went and they never showed. I received a text from a burner phone. They must have known how close to this I was and how Adam was like another brother to me.”
He closes his eyes like he’s reliving a painful memory. I watch his face as his bottom lip trembles and he swallows hard and frowns then he reopens his eyes.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to continue, I understand. I’m sorry for bringing it up,” I whisper barely able to talk.
He looks up at me with tears in his eyes and shakes his head. “No, it’s okay, you deserve to know,” he says and I lean across and take his hand in mine for support. He half-smiles at me and entwines our fingers. That spark is there, but this moment is a sad memory for him, so I let the spark fizzle out and lean forward ready to let him finish the story.
“The text was simple, three little words that I never thought would haunt me so much…” he pauses and takes a breath preparing himself.
I grip his hand tighter for support. I’m glad he’s opening up to me, but I hate seeing him so desperately upset.
“Check the shed. Those are the three words that I wish I could erase from my memory. But they’re engrained in there so tightly that I can never shake them. I dream about it… I showed the message to the chief and we sent a bomb squad in first just to make sure it wasn’t a trap. There were no bombs, no drugs, no guns, nothing except for two wooden rectangular boxes with flowers on top. I’ll never forget the sight. We knew instantly we weren’t going to like what was inside. A fellow officer took the lid off one box and we all gasped as we saw Doug’s head in the box and the rest of his body in parts. My heart sank to the floor. There was another box and I knew, I just knew at that moment that Adam… my friend, my brother, was the other body. I rushed to the box, pulled off the flowers and opened the lid to see Adam, in pieces…” he pauses and my hand rushes to my mouth to cover a gasp. I’ve never seen Hudson look the way he does right now. He’s pale and sweating and his eyes are glassy and vacant.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
His eyes find mine and I notice a tear fall down his cheek. I bite my bottom lip to stop it from trembling and I bring my free hand up to wipe away his tear.
“I’ll never forget that image. Sure, I’d seen dead bodies before. I’m a cop, it happens, but when it’s someone you’ve known for twenty-five years of your life… I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over it, or will I ever…” he drifts off.
I sniff and shake my head in disbelief. I had no idea Hudson had suffered a loss like this. It just goes to show that even though you think you know someone, we all have our demons.
“When it came time for the funerals everyone was devastated. Adam’s wife and kids… I can’t get the sight out of my head. They were broken beyond words. After the ceremony, Adam was taken to the family plot and as we walked up to the burial site somehow the Dogs had come in and placed his vest over the coffin before we all got there. We were outraged that they would show up at his funeral and make it all about them. Poor Hannah was beside herself and fell to her knees at the graveside. It was shocking and her three kids didn’t understand what was going on. The twins were three and the baby was coming up to her first birthday. It was lucky her parents were there for support. I’ve been such an arsehole to Hannah and the kids. I should see them more than
I do, but it’s just too painful… for all of us.
“Adam and Doug lost their lives at the hands of the Dogs and do you think we could find any evidence that it was them? Even though we knew who slaughtered them, there was nothing we could do. So I took the vest from Adam’s coffin and I kept it as a reminder that one day Mad Dog will pay for murdering two innocent and outstanding officers. Adam meant so much to me and he was so close to having the desk job that he wanted, but it all failed. I wish there was something I could have done. I knew Adam was getting in over his head, and yet I let him walk into the job like it was any other. I had a bad feeling. I knew the Dogs were cut-throat and ruthless, and yet I let him walk into the undercover job without voicing my concerns for him and for his family. I can never forgive myself for that…”
“Hudson, it wasn’t your fault. Not at all. Please don’t blame yourself. Mad Dog is exactly that – he’s mad in the head, and even if you knew something was wrong you couldn’t have made Adam change his mind. If he was in deep with them, then there’s nothing you or anyone could’ve done. Please don’t blame yourself, Hudson,” I say as another tear falls down his cheek. I wipe it away and he leans into my open palm.
“It feels good to finally tell you about Adam. I hated keeping it from you, but I haven’t spoken about him to anyone since it happened. Only the force councillor and that was mandatory. I didn’t even tell Mum and Dad what happened. They ended up finding out from Hannah... Thank you for listening and letting me get that all out. Seems like now you’re my rock?” he says while he shakes his head and wipes his tears.
“I’m always here for you, Hudson… always. And I get loss, trust me I do—”
“I know, that’s why I knew I could tell you and you’d understand, but your loss was far greater than mine. I’m sorry I didn’t even think bringing this up might make you think about your husband and son. Sorry Vee, I don’t want to upset you.”
I shake my head. “It’s okay, yes it reminds me of my boys, but I’m doing okay. It’s been six years and even though it hurts every second to think they’re not here with me, I can think and talk about them now without breaking down. I know Danny is looking down on me and guiding me through this crazy life I’m living, and I know that Caiden is happy up there with his dad and Grandma and Grandpa. I know life would be so different if they hadn’t gone out for that stupid ice cream cake, they might still be here and we would be happy. I would be happy. But everything happens for a reason and if they didn’t… die, then I would never have met you,” I say and his hand tightens in mine.
“I guess we have more in common than we both realised.”
“I guess so,” I say.
He sniffs and sits up taller trying to regain his composure. “If you’re up to it, do you think you could tell me a little about Danny and Caiden?” he asks and I scrunch my eyebrows.
“Really?” I ask a little confused.
“It seems to be a time for sharing, and I always wondered what kind of guy Danny was. How he treated you, and how he was with your son. I want to know what life you had and how different it is to the one you have now but, of course, if it is too hard, you don’t have to—”
“No, it’s okay. I’m just shocked that you want to know.”
“I want to know everything about you, Vee. No more secrets.”
I nod and take a deep breath. A slow smile crosses my face and my body relaxes as I think about Danny.
“Where do you want me to start?”
“At the beginning I guess. How did you meet?”
I smile again and look down at our hands entwined. “I met Danny at high school. We hit it off almost instantly and by the time we were sixteen we already knew we would spend forever together. We were polar opposites. I was the nerd girl.” Hudson smirks. “And Danny was the football playing star of the school. We were so different, but something drew us together. From the moment he asked me out I thought it was a prank. Even though we had been spending some time together I thought it was a joke, and when he actually showed up at my parents’ house the night of the date I was beyond ecstatic. I never thought in a million years that Danny Dyson would ever want me that way. And, of course, being horny teenagers everything was heightened for us, our emotions were all over the place and even though things happened quickly, the love was always there. He was an amazing partner. He would always stick up for me against the bullies of the school. I know it is hard to believe, but I was shy and very quiet. I hardly ever spoke unless spoken too, and I had no self-confidence. Until Danny came along that is and showed me unconditional love. He brought me out of my shell. By the end of high school, we were so mad about each other that we decided to get married. We were eighteen and very young, but the love was undeniable. Even our parents could see that, so they both agreed to our marriage and Danny being as smart and talented as he was, managed to land a job quickly in an accountancy firm. Before long he was earning the big dollars and we had enough to buy our own home so we could start our family. I was already pregnant with Caiden when we moved in. It was our own little place away from everyone else and a place we could call our own and raise a family.
“I was beyond happy Hudson. I never knew a love like I had with Danny was even possible, and we found each other so young. He was the best and most supportive husband you could imagine. He bought me flowers every week and he showered me with gifts. Not that I was materialistic or anything, but it was nice that he showed me how much he cared. When I was pregnant, he ran after me everywhere we went making sure I was feeling okay and not too exhausted. He prepared my food and rubbed my back whenever it got too sore and I never had any doubt of his love for me. I knew because I loved him with such a fiery passion that I would combust every time I was around him. Every part of him was captivating to me… I found him irresistible. I loved him with every fibre of my being, and I never… ever… thought I could love anyone the way I loved Danny.
“That was until Caiden was born. Danny was in the delivery room with me every second of the nineteen hour labour. It was torture, and I know Danny hated seeing me in so much pain, but he was amazing holding my hand the entire time and rubbing my aching body wherever I needed it. I’d never known such adoration from anyone before, he was my world and every inch of me loved him beyond a love imaginable. We were simply meant to be.”
Hudson looks down at his hand in mine and squeezes gently.
“When Caiden was finally born, Danny cried for hours with tears of joy. He held his son so tightly I was worried about him squashing him. But deep down I knew he would never hurt me or his son. The amount of love flowing from Danny in that delivery room was undeniable. He never left my side the whole time I was in the hospital. I was twenty at the time, so I was young, but I was very happy. You have no idea the amount of love you can have for something so tiny the first time you meet them. Caiden was placed in my arms and… I can’t explain it, the bond you have instantly to them is life altering. I never knew I could love two people at the same time equally, but with Danny and Caiden, my heart belonged to them both, and a part of my heart will always belong to them.”
Hudson nods slightly and tightens his hand in mine.
I swallow hard and continue with my story. “Danny was the best dad you could ever imagine. He was so hands on with Caiden. Most men are scared of changing nappies, feeding and bathing newborns, but Danny got right in there. He wasn’t scared at all. He wanted every experience imaginable and we helped each other through the best and the worst times of bringing up a child. One day Caiden wouldn’t stop screaming while Danny was at work. He had colic and I just couldn’t settle him, he was so upset he was vomiting all the time. I hadn’t been sleeping, as he had been unsettled for weeks, I was so worried we were going to lose him. I know it was my stupid, irrational mother fear creeping in. I called Danny in tears, he came straight home from work and reassured me everything was fine. He saw I was struggling, so he took a week off work to spend with me and Caiden. He let me sleep for a couple of the days jus
t so I could catch up and then we took it in turns nursing and caring for Caiden until his colic finally cleared up. Danny was so supportive and I couldn’t have gotten through it without him. He was so caring, loyal and above all he adored me. He loved us from the tips of his toes to the end of his sandy hair.” I take a deep breath.
Hudson looks at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. It’s a strange feeling, but I decide to keep going. If I’m going to tell him everything, I may as well tell him the bad as well.
“Caiden was growing quickly and life got in the way. We always wanted another child, in fact, we wanted a ton of children. We never discussed exactly how many we would have, but we knew more were on the cards. Danny got promoted at work and even though he was crazy busy at work, he always found time for me and our boy. Weekends he would turn off his phone and it was our time to spend as a family. Danny was football mad and every chance he got he was outside with Caiden kicking the ball around. They were honestly the best of friends and they were inseparable. When Caiden would go to bed, the nights were all about us. I never once, not once, felt anything but undying love and affection from Danny. I knew we were one of the lucky ones, who were going to grow old and wrinkly together, sitting on the front porch drinking tea and watching our great grandkids playing while we held hands. I knew that was the plan for us. I never had to worry about Danny cheating or leaving me because, in my heart, I knew… he was the one – the only one.”
Hudson exhales and cracks his neck from side to side. I’m not sure how he feels about me telling him this, but I can’t stop now.
“Everything was perfect, just like it had always been. Danny and I were going to start making baby number two that night, it had taken us five years to get to that point because of Danny’s work. It was never a finances thing, we had the money, but I guess time goes fast when everything is perfect. I was working as a checkout chick two days a week for a local grocer. I did it just to occupy my time really, it didn’t bring in any amazing amount of money or anything, but it was nice to feel like I was contributing somehow. The rest of the time I was a stay at home mum with Caiden. And I loved every second of it. I was struggling with the idea that in two months he would be leaving me during the day to start school. He was growing so fast, and he was such a cute little angel. Of course, he could be a little bugger sometimes, but for the most part he was an amazingly good child. He ate his veggies and went to bed when we told him to. I don’t know how I was so damn lucky to have two of the most amazing boys in my life, I must have done something great to have been given such an unbelievable gift. Little did I know that night in November, everything would change! The woman I was would cease to exist. Danny and Caiden would be taken from the world and I would be left on my own. I had already suffered a great loss two years earlier when my mother died from cancer and two months later my dad had a heart attack and died as well. All I had left in the world was Danny and Caiden, and they would ultimately be taken from me.”