by K. Renee
“Fuck,” Dom mutters under his breath.
The others mutter under their breath too, but I ignore it. I only have one thing on my mind, and that is finding Hallum and making him pay for what he did, for what he took from me.
Prez goes to say something, but my phone starts ringing. He stops and watches me as I pull it out of my pocket to check the screen.
Unknown is calling…
I hit the button to answer it and put it on speaker. The moment I grunt out a greeting, his voice comes on the line.
“I never meant for you to lose, big brother. I only wanted you back on my side and that piece of shit brother of hers to pay.” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from saying something to piss him off more.
“You stole something from me, and I’ll never forgive. You and I are done. You’re dead to me, and if you come near her again, I’ll kill you myself. I don’t give a shit what problems you have with the Saints anymore. End it all or I will hunt you down myself and put you down like the dog you are.”
His breathing deepens over the line and I know I pissed him off, but I’m way past caring.
“You don’t mean that, big brother.” His voice is lower now, and when I look around the room, I see everyone watching me.
“I do. I will protect my family. You are nothing to me.”
“I am your family! Those fucking assholes aren’t your blood, I am. You give it all up because they are your brothers. Fuck that. They weren’t there for you when we were kids, I was. I was the one who made sure we ate every night. It was me who looked after you and took care of you the night you got a knife in the side. It was all me!”
He’s pissed now, and I’m glad. Now he can see the pain that he is putting on himself. He thinks I owe him something and I don’t. I don’t owe him a goddamn thing.
I hear a whimper behind me, and when I turn, I catch sight of Sydney falling down. I set my phone on the table and rush to her side, helping her up and pulling her into me. Her body is still weak from the blood loss, and she’s cold.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“Don’t be. You did nothing wrong.” I can still hear my brother’s tangent as he continues to yell into the phone, telling me all the shit that I already know from our youth. Hell, Prez and Nick already know it all as well. It was one of the conditions of me joining as a prospect, airing out all my dirty laundry.
They know the worst moments of my life, the ones that only Hallum and I know.
I hold her to my chest as Prez comes over to us. “He’s going postal. This isn’t done,” he says as he stands next to me with his back to the rest of the brothers. “What do you want to do?”
“I want him dead.”
I feel Sydney flinch and hold onto me tighter with my words. She doesn’t say anything about it, and I don’t think she will until we are behind closed doors.
She won’t like the man I really am. I keep it buried for a reason, and that reason is because once I let it all show, it’s hard for me to rein it back. The anger and hurt will eat away at me until I finally snap and kill someone.
The life I lived before the Saints is not one that I am proud of. I hated the man I had become and wanted to have a purpose of sorts. The Wayward Saints gave me that purpose – a family that I never had growing up.
They showed me what real family was and now there is no way I’ll ever turn my back on them except to protect Sydney. Ryder Stark may be one of the Saints’ best weapons, but I’d go to hell in back to protect Sydney Stark from anything, even him.
Chapter Eleven
Sydney
With everything the way it is currently, I don’t know what to do or say. Hendrix told his president that he wanted his brother dead. I can’t even imagine what he’s feeling or thinking right now, but one thing I know for sure is that he is serious about it.
After he talked with his president and the rest of the guys for a few more hours, he finally helped me pack a bag, and now we are at the clubhouse.
I never thought that I would be allowed here again, but for some odd reason, Cason allowed it. I’m lying in Hendrix’s bed staring at the ceiling wondering what is going to happen next. As soon as we got here, one of the guys took Callen to another room and when I went to ask why, Hendrix stopped me.
He told me that it was club business and didn’t have anything to do with me so I wouldn’t find out what was happening. I started to follow them, but he grabbed me and forced me into his room, shutting the door behind us.
His words were cold and final when he told me, “Her father did some bad shit to the club. She might have the answers they are looking for right now. Don’t ask any questions, and never disrespect me in front of them. They aren’t always forgiving.”
I shut my mouth after that and dropped my body on the bed, not really caring about the pain that shot through me from it.
Feeling pain reminded me that I’m alive. That I may be suffering on the inside, but things are still okay for the most part.
The door to the room opens, and I watch as Hendrix comes walking in. He shuts the door softly almost like he doesn’t want to wake me, but I never fell asleep. I don’t feel safe unless he was in here with me and he had church, whatever that means.
As his eyes scan the room, they land on me and a small grin forms on his lips.
“Best fucking sight right there,” he murmurs as he comes closer to the bed, starting to strip down as he moves. When he gets to the bed, he crawls toward me and grips the back of my neck with one hand, pulling my face to his. His kiss is feather light before he collapses to his side and pulls me into his body.
“Is Callen okay?” This has been driving me crazy with worry since we got here and now that we are alone, I want to know an answer.
“She’s fine. She and Robbie just had it out in the hallway though when I took her back to the room she’s in for now.” I frown at him, and he just buries his face into my neck.
“What do you mean they had it out in the hallway? She doesn’t even know him.” He starts to chuckle, and I want to punch him in the gut for it, but I refrain.
“No baby, they certainly know each other. Prez was about to question Robbie, but he stormed off all pissed about something your friend said.” I push him away enough to stare at him in confusion. “Stop thinking so fucking hard about it. Robbie has fucked more women than anyone I know, and she might be another one on his list of conquests. That’s probably it.”
I bite my bottom lip as I think that over, but I can’t imagine Callen being with a biker ever. When we had talked about sex, she told me that she wasn’t a virgin anymore and that she lost her virginity… “Oh my God! Robbie was the guy she lost her virginity to.” My eyes widen as the words come out of my mouth. I slap my hand over it, but they are already out, and I can’t take them back.
“You serious?”
I stare at him, and his smile just gets bigger and bigger. “Oh fuck, I need to tell this to Brant. He’ll get a kick out of it.” Just as he grabs his phone from his pocket, I put my hand on his, stopping him from writing a message to Brantley.
“Please don’t tell anyone I told you. I don’t even know if it was really him.” I give him my best sad look, and he rolls his eyes before pocketing his phone.
He rolls me over and settles between my thighs, not doing anything more than that. The doctor told me that it would be about two weeks before I can do much besides lay in bed and nurse my broken heart. She said I may not experience the loss because of how early it was in the pregnancy, but I don’t know. Part of me feels like I’ve lost something and the other part of me feels fine.
“Why do you think it was with him?” He runs his finger along my collarbone, and I think back to the night that Callen told me about the guy she lost her virginity to.
“She said that she came to Vegas with her sister for spring break last year and that she hooked up with a guy. Her words were that she met him at a bar off the Strip. I guess the place was a rundown old bar and
that the guy came to the bar and stood next to her to get a drink. After a few drinks, she got some courage to go dancing with her sister, and that’s when he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him.”
I look down at him, and he’s still got that stupid grin on his face.
“She didn’t go into much detail, but she ended up leaving with him. Something about him taking her virginity on his bike somewhere out in the mountains.”
“Oh shit.” He starts laughing which in turn makes me laugh. “He never fucks virgins. Something about them being clingy or some shit. This makes the story even better.” Before I can tell him not to say anything, his phone rings and he’s laughing his ass off as he answers it.
“God, I never thought I’d see the day! You fucked her. That’s why you’re so pissed at that girl we brought back tonight.” He starts laughing even harder than before, and I can hear Robbie swearing.
“Shut the fuck up. I’ll fucking gut you if you tell the others.”
“Yeah, fucking right. I’d like to see you try, fucker. So what do you want?” He finally stops laughing, and I just shake my head at him when he looks up at me with that stupid grin on his face.
“Where has she been the last year? Who the fuck hurt her?”
I feel him take a deep breath. “I have no fucking clue where she’s been. I just met Callen earlier to –”
Robbie cuts Hendrix off and yells into the phone, “God fucking dammit. Are you fucking serious? Her name is Callen fucking Cruz?”
My eyes widen at his tone, and Hendrix rolls off of me and sits up on the bed. “You didn’t know her name?” I sit up too and listen in on their conversation even though I am aware I shouldn’t. I’m dying to know why they don’t like her name.
“No, I didn’t fucking ask. That night I wasn’t thinking. I just fucked her, and she gave me the wrong number when I dropped her off. I tried to call her, but it was bogus. Fucking hell. My old man is going to fucking flip. I slept with the damn bastard’s daughter.”
“You liked her.”
I don’t hear his response as Hendrix moves off the bed and toward the bathroom. The rest of their conversation is muted, and I miss out on all the good details. Lying back on the pillows, I stare at the ceiling and take a deep breath.
The last few weeks have felt like my whole world was going to crash in on me and that there was nothing that I could have done to change it. I lost everything in the blink of an eye, and then it all changed. I’m lucky, to say the least.
If Hendrix wouldn’t have come for me, I would probably still be with Sampson, or worse – dead.
My phone starts to ring, and it scares the crap out of me. Hendrix comes through the bathroom door and stares at me with the phone still to his ear. I look down at the screen before looking back at him, terror probably taking over my features. I don’t know what to do.
“He’s calling.” His voice is hard as he comes closer to me. “Get Trace in here. I need him to run the number, now.” Hendrix drops his phone on the bed and stands in front of me, looking nothing like the sweet guy he was just moments before. “Answer it, Syd.”
I nod my head and hit the answer button, putting it on speaker. “Hello?” My voice is wobbly, and my hand that’s holding the phone starts to shake.
“I know he’s there with you. My big brother wouldn’t just leave the one he loves when she needed him the most. So I’ll cut to the chase. Hendrix, you disappoint me. The blood we share should always have a stronger pull than the bullshit brotherhood you have with those degenerates.” The door to the room opens and a few men bound in leather that I’ve never seen come inside.
“You spit on our family by becoming someone you are not. Our father would roll over in his grave at the disrespect.”
Hendrix laughs at that. “You are so fucking delusional. Our father was a coward. He beat the shit out of us and left us to fend for ourselves at ten years old. He was never a father to us, and you are exactly what I don’t want to become. Whatever it is you want from me, come take it. You got your fucking bullshit revenge. An eye for an eye, blood for blood. Congratu-fucking-lations. You took my unborn child from me, and that is something I’ll never get over.”
A scoffing sound comes from the line, and I freeze.
“That kid could have been mine.” All the blood runs from my face, and Hendrix looks at me, his eyes burning into me.
“You may have had her first, but that was months ago. She wasn’t that far along.” His eyes still don’t leave me, and I feel like I’m going to be sick. I set the phone on the bed and rush to the bathroom. I barely make it to the toilet in time to throw up.
There isn’t much in my stomach other than the ginger ale that Hendrix brought in a while ago. Something about it settling my stomach, but it apparently didn’t work very well.
When I finish throwing up my guts, I rest my warm forehead against the cold porcelain. I don’t move from this spot, terrified to hear anything else that Sampson says or the questioning look from Hendrix.
I don’t want to deal with this anymore, but I know I don’t have a choice.
My choices have consequences, and I know that Hendrix may very well choose to just cut his losses and let me fend for myself.
The sound of boots coming toward me brings my head up from the toilet, and I see Hendrix standing over me, watching me. Biting the inside of my cheek, I try to anticipate his next words, but I can’t. I don’t know what he’s going to say right now, or what he’s feeling.
As he gets closer, he reaches over and flushes the toilet before kneeling down, so we are closer to the same height.
“When did you fuck him?” I swallow the lump that is forming in my throat.
A tear falls from my eye, and I don’t bother trying to wipe it away. All the dirty secrets of what happened have already come out. What’s one more?
“Three months ago.”
Chapter Twelve
Hendrix
I want like fucking hell to be pissed at her, but I can’t.
Three months ago. Three fucking months ago she got caught in his damn web. The scar on the back of her neck reminds me that he had her first and as much as I hate it, I know why he did it.
Hallum isn’t fucking stupid. He is one of the smartest little bastards I know and the way his mind works isn’t normal.
He’s always had a plan that involved her. The moment that Ryder took away the only other thing he cared about, his focus turned to hatred and revenge. Now I’m the one who gets to suffer at the hands of my own blood.
I may have written him off years ago, but I would never kill him unless I had to. Unless he threatened my family and that is exactly what he did. My own flesh and blood don't give two shits about the life he stole.
A plan is being put in place, one that ensures that I kill my own brother.
Staring at the girl I fell in love with by accident, I can’t help but see how scared she is. She has no idea that thoughts that are currently running through my head right now or the things that I want to do to her for lying to me.
I’m pissed that I can’t be mad enough at her to just write her out of my life completely. Shit would be so much easier if I didn’t have to live with this crap.
I reach a hand out, and she just stares at it. “I don’t bite, babe.” An eyebrow raises, and I just grin back at her. “Okay, fine… I might.” She just shakes her head slightly, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.
“What’s going to happen?” The question is asked so quietly that I almost miss it.
“I’m going to kill him.”
Her eyes widen as she puts her hand in mine and I stand up, pulling her up with me. “He’s your brother.”
I shrug. “Family can be the worst when it comes to hurting you. Hallum took the life of someone that didn’t have a chance to fight. He killed our child. I can’t forgive or forget that. Blood for blood.”
Tears start to fall down her face. Pulling her into my che
st, I hold her until the sobs stop. She hasn’t let herself feel the loss of the baby, and I know that it’s going to destroy her when she finally does. I can see it all over her face that she liked the idea of having my kid, even if she would have been scared as hell.
“We were going to be parents.” Her words break, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
The anger raging in my body makes me want to go and find that son of a bitch and kill him right now, but I can’t. We have a plan, and I have to stick to it no matter how much I want to deviate.
“Let’s get you back to bed.” I wrap my arm around her waist and lead her toward the bed.
She looks around the room almost like she doesn’t want anyone to see her right now, but they already left. They went to finish up the details of the plan while I took care of her.
“I’m sorry I’ve caused so much chaos in your life. I never wanted to do any of this. I should have never –” I press my mouth to hers, shutting her up.
Her arms wrap around my neck, and I hold her body tightly to mine as I kiss her.
My lips hover right over hers as I speak. “Don’t blame yourself. He was bound to find someone else to do the same shit. He sought you out to make it that much worse on Ryder, and he knew my type. He did what he had to to get us to do what he wanted. I don’t blame you, just next time if you don’t tell me the truth, I’ll spank your ass.”
Her cheeks heat, and she looks away.
“I love you, Syd. That will never change.” I grab her chin with my hand and force her to look at me again. “Trust that I will always do everything in my power to protect you.”
Her head nods slightly, and she looks like she might start crying again. “I love you,” she whispers, holding me tighter.
Once I get her back to bed, I kiss her forehead and tell her, “I need to help them plan this shit. I’ll be back soon.”