Blackness Awaits

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Blackness Awaits Page 15

by Karlsson, Norma Jeanne


  “It’s okay. I was just lost in my head.” I look at his hands and gasp. “Shit! Kel, your hands.” I reach out to grab his thick wrists and pull his hands toward me to inspect them. They’ve been covered in some skin like material, taped, and splinted.

  “I’m all right,” he says softly pulling his hands away from me. “You mind if I sit?” He’s so tentative he’s making me uncomfortable. I don’t speak I just nod to his chair. Once he sits I start in.

  “Kel, I—” He cuts me off before I can get going.

  “I know you just woke up and went through a nightmare before that, but there are some things I need you to know now.” I sit silently and let him continue. “I did not sleep with Cassie when I was in Seattle. We did the things you saw in those pictures and that’s fuckin’ awful enough but it went no further. I was pissed you weren’t answerin’ your phone and you were in your room with Taylor. I had a lapse in judgment and if you hate me for that, I get it. But I need you to know I didn’t sleep with her. I haven’t been with anyone since I laid eyes on you in Mia’s room.”

  My heart sings at this information. He didn’t sleep with her! He made out with her and maybe copped a feel but he didn’t fuck her. The relief I feel is so immense I can’t describe. I go to say something, but he continues.

  “Got some bad news though, Kiddo. I slept with her right before I moved home and she’s pregnant. She doesn’t know if it’s mine, but she’s convinced herself that it is. I asked her to get a paternity test done. She’s refusin’ to get an amnio or the other test they can do. She says I have to wait until the baby’s born.”

  “That’s fuckin’ bullshit Kel,” I rage. “There’s a maternal blood screen that can be done. It’s non-invasive and can be done early in the pregnancy. She refuses and I’ll file a motion to compel her to do so. And if that baby’s yours and you want custody, I’ll fight my ass off to get that for you,” I rant. He launches himself at me.

  “I love you so fuckin’ much!” he bellows with his face in my neck. Smashing me beneath his massive body I wrap my arms around his shoulders and squeeze him tight. I’m sure I smell like a dumpster, but I don’t care. He feels good against my body.

  “Told you so,” Kav mumbles from his doll bed. I feel Kel start to shake with chuckles. “And just some advice for the future…no glove, no love.”

  Kel snorts before he retakes his seat in his chair.

  “Thanks for the advice, but apparently that’s not a hundred percent, or that’s what I’m waitin’ to find out,” Kel scoffs.

  “Wait, you wore a bag and she’s sayin’ it’s yours? I call bullshit,” Kavy scoffs right back.

  “Have to wait and find out I guess.” Kel shrugs.

  “That kid comes back as yours I’m guessin’ that chick went mental and stole your swimmers from the condom,” Kavy says as he sits up in his miniature bed, tattooed chest blazing. I stare at our clover and get tingles. My family.

  “What’re you talkin’ about Kav? That’s crazy!” Kel quietly yells.

  “Fuck yeah its crazy. Happened to a dude I played rugby with.”

  “Kavy you’re freakin’ him out. Jeez,” I scold.

  “Could she really have done something like that?” Kel asks me.

  “It happens, Kel. I doubt she did that though. Again, if she did, I’ll fight to get you that baby,” I spout confidently. This I can deal with. This is my world, my comfort zone. Maybe even a welcome distraction. I need to have Finn start doing background on her tomorrow. Kel’s told me about her and she sounds like a piece of work.

  “All right, I’m goin’ back to sleep. You two keep the moanin’ to a minimum,” Kavy teases laying back. Kel and I both chuckle. Kavy’s asleep in about ninety seconds. I swear he can fall asleep anywhere at the drop of a hat.

  “Okay, now it’s my turn,” I say to Kel squeezing his hand gently. “I did cheat on you. I made out with Taylor and he got a little handsy. I’m so fuckin’ sorry. I was sad and mad and hurt and he took advantage, but I allowed it. I did stop him though because even in that moment where I thought you had done something cruel and heartless, I still loved you.”

  “This day has included too much of you talkin’ about kissin’ other dudes,” he growls. “I don’t give a shit what happened with you and Taylor.” I arch a brow at him. “Okay, I give a shit. A big shit. But it doesn’t matter now. He’s gone and you’re safe. That’s all that matters. I have you back.” He raises my hand and kisses my palm. I wince at some pain in my head and he drops my hand like his lips just seared my skin.

  “It’s not you, Kel. My head hurts,” I say softly. He reaches up and hits the nurse call button. She answers on the intercom and he barks that I need some pain medication.

  “You can be nice when you ask,” I chide.

  “Don’t like seein’ you in pain.” His voice is gruff as he picks my hand back up. His hands are really fucked up. I can’t believe he did that to himself.

  “Do your hands hurt?” I ask gently.

  “Little,” he says dismissively.

  “Don’t do that again. I couldn’t get to you and you were in pain. That was torture for me and now that I know what torture is actually like, I don’t want to experience that ever again literally or emotionally,” I say sternly. His face wears hurt from my statement. I’m such a dick lately (blaming the drugs). The nurse comes in before either of us says anything else. I get doped up and she gets on her way, rolling her eyes at my garden of sleeping men.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you today. I broke. I’ve been drowning since I realized you were gone and I hit my breakin’ point hearin’ you say you were waitin’ for Taylor to save you. I don’t care how you got through those days. It’s not about me. I shouldn’t have gone off like that. I never wanna be the reason you’re hurt,” Kel says in a whisper.

  “We’re a mess. All we keep doin’ is apologizing to each other. Enough of that. I love you. This is gonna be a rough road and we need to be there for each other. We’ll both have moments where we crack and break, but if we lean on one another we’ll make it through. Promise me you’ll lean on me before you attack a bathroom again,” I instruct.

  “I promise,” he says assuredly. “Promise me you won’t shut me out. I get how hard this will be, I can take it. Just don’t shut me out,” he requests. He knows me so well. It’s what I want to do. I want to shield him from what happened to me and shield myself by denying it happened. I won’t do that though. I’ll heal and survive and face the demons lurking in the shadows of that house.

  “I promise,” I state firmly.

  “Can I kiss you?” he asks sweetly.

  “No.”

  “No?” he asks shocked.

  “I don’t know the last time I brushed my teeth, but my mouth feels like I ate a wooly mammoth’s ass,” I exclaim. He doubles over in a heaving laugh. I follow right along with him wincing at little shots of pain. When he’s done he stands up and goes into the bathroom (be careful not to piss him off tiles). He comes back out with a toothbrush and two cups.

  “Brush,” he instructs handing me the toothpaste covered toothbrush. “Spit,” he says holding an empty cup in front of my lips. “Swish,” he says handing me a cup of water. “Spit,” he repeats putting the spit cup in front of me again. Ah, fresh and clean. “Better?” he asks pleased with himself.

  “Better.” I smile. He sits on the side of my bed and leans his face into my space. His breath is heating my lips and I’m trembling in anticipation.

  “I love you,” he whispers and with passion he captures my lips. His soft plump pillows work eagerly across mine, tasting and savoring every inch of my mouth. Kel’s tongue slips out and I willingly open my lips meeting my tongue with his. He tastes like heaven, spearmint mixed with Kel. A moan creeps up my throat and he intensifies the kiss massaging my tongue with his. His hands move down my chest, the rough calluses catching on the fabric of my hospital gown. He gets to my breast and my breath hitches. Kel stops kissing me and drops his hands pulling away fro
m me, regret marking his face.

  “No Kel, don’t stop. I don’t want Taylor to be the last man that’s touched me. Please,” I beg. Not just Taylor but the almost rapist. I want Kel to be the last man to have his hands on me. He hesitates a moment and then comes right back to me. His mouth more insistent and possessive, his hands pinching and rolling my nipples on the outside of my gown. I reach up and slide the shoulder of my gown off. It’s not tied in the back because of my wounds. Easy access! His hand gently pulls the gown under my breast and he begins to palm me like a teenager copping his first feel. He runs his thumbs across my now achingly hard nipples. I arch my back pushing into him and a growl emotes from deep in his chest. His tongue darts in and out of my mouth as he nips at my lips constantly working his hands. He keeps working at me until I’m ready to move this along. But Kel begins to slow the kiss and release the pressure on my breasts. He drops his face into my neck both of us panting hard. He rights my gown back into place ever so carefully.

  “Spank bank full!” Cally yells. All five of us break into cleansing tear-filled laughter.

  Kellerman

  Kid made me sleep in her bed last night. I can barely fit in this bed alone much less both of us, but I wasn’t denying her. After our make-out session, I wanted to be close to her. It took every ounce of self-control I possess to stop that where it ended. All I wanted to do was rip that damn hospital gown off her and bury myself to the hilt inside her until she begged me to stop. Yeah, I need to quit thinking about that. I woke up about ten minutes ago with a handful of tit and morning wood that still aches. It’ll be a long cold shower this morning.

  I gently peel myself away from Kid, trying not to disturb her sleep. Her garden of giants, sleeping in beds made for gnomes are snoring loud enough to wake the entire hospital. I stand up and stretch my arms above my head wincing at the pain from being stuck in the same position all night. My leg hurts the worst in the morning and now my hands are in the fray. I’m a hot mess. I amble away grabbing some clean clothes before heading into the bathroom. The blood is gone as well as the tile mess that was on the floor, but my wall of destruction remains. In the light of day I feel like a complete douche.

  The weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders after talking to Kid last night. I wasn’t sure what her reaction would be, but as always I was floored by her dedication to me. I have no doubt that she’ll be by my side through this whole maybe baby situation. Now, I can focus on her. I want to get her well and get her home. It’s Christmas Eve and I’m realizing I don’t have anything here for her for Christmas…hasn’t been a priority. I step into the small shower and let the cool water run over my tense muscles. I haven’t worked out in a week and a half. I’ve done pushups and crunches, but my leg hasn’t allowed for much beyond that. The guys and I usually hit the gym hard for at least an hour and a half every night. We’ll all be sore when we get back to it.

  I climb out of the shower, dry off and quickly (my version of quickly with jacked up hands) pull my clothes on. I try not to be away from Kid long. Bathing was not even part of the program until a few days ago. I creep back out of the bathroom to see the sleeping giants have arisen. We’re foul creatures. The farts and burps bubbling around the room are enough to make me roll my eyes as I make my way to my woman. Her sleepy eyes are fluttering open.

  “Mornin’,” I murmur against her forehead before sitting in my trusty chair. She gives me an annoyed stare. Kid is not a morning person, even doped up on pain killers. I don’t know if she’s allowed coffee yet. I should check so she’ll quit looking at me like that. I switch my gaze away from her and over to the boys.

  “Kav, can I talk to you a minute?” I ask. He’s sitting on the end of his bed scratching…everything. His tattoos ablaze only in his boxer briefs, dude doesn’t care that we aren’t at home. He sleeps how he sleeps. At least that’s what he told the nurses the first night here. Some of these girl’s faces when they’ve walked in the room in the mornings have been beet red. The man has no shame.

  “What’s up?” he asks standing up.

  “Maybe put Hulk away and talk outside?” I suggest. I don’t need to see any more of the outline of his dick than I already can.

  “Jealous?” he snorts.

  “Very,” I snark. I glance up at Kid and her eyes are closed but the grin on her lips says she’s listening. Kav pulls on a pair of sweats and a thermal nodding his head at the door. Once in the corridor he winks at one of the nurses I’m sure he’s going to fuck before we leave here.

  “You good?” Kav asks turning his attention back to me. “Not as good as you could be based on your performance with Kid last night,” he teases. I roll my eyes.

  “I’m good, dick. I need to go shop for Kid. Obviously, I don’t have Christmas shit here. Now that she’s awake I wanna get her somethin’,” I explain.

  “Yeah the guys and I talked about it last night. We’re gonna go out and pick some stuff up for her this afternoon. Family’ll be here all day so we can slip out and she won’t be alone,” Kav says eye fucking the nurse some more. I’m guessing this is the longest he’s gone without pussy. He may spontaneously combust.

  “I need a jewelry store,” I say. That gets his head snapping back to me.

  “You thinkin’ about puttin’ a ring on it?” His face is shocked.

  “Kav, we’ve been together two months. Come on,” I scoff. That’s nothing but a lie. I’d ask her to marry me now if I thought she’d say yes. With all her shit going on combined with Cassie, not really proposal time.

  “When you do that shit, you better come correct,” he warns.

  “And what’s your version of that?” This should be good.

  “Fuck you Kellerman. You know what I mean. She deserves a rock the size of the moon and a proposal at the Super Bowl half-time show. Not to mention you have a lot of people to ask for their blessings. Come correct,” he enunciates the last part. I shake my head at him.

  “Well I’ll get on mining moon size diamonds,” I snark. He scowls at me before being distracted by his nurse again. Attention span of a toddler.

  “We’ll head out when the O’Sullivan clan gets here. Safer,” he mumbles distractedly.

  “Sounds good. You gonna head down for breakfast? Or you gonna cover her in syrup and have a breakfast buffet?” He shoves my shoulder wearing a shit-eating grin.

  “I’m gonna talk to Kid’s nurse and see if she can eat some real food. She’s lost so much weight lately I wanna stuff a pound of bacon in her mouth,” Kav grumbles. He’s right; Kid’s really thin right now. She was losing weight before this with all the stress of Butch’s trial, now it’s worse.

  I break away from the now increasingly uncomfortable mutual eye fucking and head back into the room. O’Sullivan, Cal and Kid are all cracking up when I walk in. The sound of her laughter is intoxicating. I prowl over to her and capture her mouth in a hard kiss, halting her chuckle. Smiling broadly as I pull back from her.

  “I’m next,” O’Sullivan claims.

  “Okay, but just one,” I say leaning toward him. He palms my face and I sit back in my seat snickering.

  “I never thought I’d have this again,” Kid says quietly. There’s a ghost of a smile on her lips but despair in her eyes.

  “Kid,” Cal soothes. “You’ll always have this. Where you go, we go.”

  “I was sad, guys. At some point I came to terms with the fact that I was probably gonna die,” she whispers.

  “Kid?” Kav calls from the doorway no doubt he just heard what she said. His eyes hold as much despair as hers.

  “I didn’t give up, Kavy. I was gonna fight, but I knew it was a fight I’d lose,” she admits dejectedly. God this is going to be a long road back to healthy happy Kid. I keep my emotions intact. No more going off the rails for me.

  “You wouldn’t have lost. Your team never loses,” Kav says sweetly coming to her bedside.

  “I was gonna lose, Kavy.”

  “Didn’t happen. Never gonna happen,”
Kav spouts confidently wrapping his gigantic arms around her shoulders, crushing her to his chest.

  Kellerman

  “Aaron, you’re gonna smother her,” Pop chides from the door. Kav pulls back and presses a hard kiss to her forehead before addressing his father.

  “Mornin’, Pop.”

  “Mornin’. Go help your brothers,” Pop orders. Kav nods and heads out the door.

  “Hoppin’ in the shower,” Cal informs us.

  “Quick. I need to grab one too,” O’Sullivan replies. Cal offers a chin lift and disappears into the room of destruction.

  “Mornin’, sweetheart,” Pop coos running the backs of his fingers along Kid’s cheek. “Sleep good?”

  “Yeah, Pop,” she says back smiling brightly at her father. It was strange at first trying to figure out all the relationships she has with these intertwined families. Now it just seems normal that she has three fathers, two mothers, and nine completely fucking crazy brothers.

  “Jesus Christ, will you carry some of the weight, bitches?” Kav sneers. Ryan, Adam and Kav are carrying a Christmas tree into Kid’s room. Or I should say, Kav is doing most of the carrying while Ryan and Adam watch.

  “I’m carryin’ the decorations,” Adam points out.

  “Yeah, and I’m still sore from my date last night,” Ryan teases. Kav hoists the large fir into the room and leans it against the wall.

  “Pussies,” Kav says under his breath before he flops on his bed. Cal comes out of the bathroom and O’Sullivan takes his turn.

  “You brought be a tree?” Kid whispers to Pop.

  “Ryan and Adam’s idea,” Pop says proud of his sons.

  “Best part of Christmas is watchin’ you around the tree, Kid,” Ryan says softly kissing her on the cheek.

  “Couldn’t miss it,” Adam finishes with a forehead kiss.

  “Love you guys,” Kid murmurs into Adam’s neck.

  “Now, you can’t decorate so you instruct and we’ll follow,” Pop says clapping his hands together.

 

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