by Dalai Lama
Recently, I met a group of American scientists who said that the percentage of mental illness in their country was quite high—about 12 percent of the population. From the discussion, it emerged clearly that the main cause was not lack of material resources but a lack of affection.
One thing seems obvious. Whether or not we are aware of it, from the day we are born, the need for affection is in our very blood. I believe that no one is born without this need for love. And contrary to certain modern schools of thought, this demonstrates that human beings are not limited to the physical plane alone. No material object, no matter how beautiful or precious it is, can give us the feeling of being loved, because our deeper identity, our true character, is rooted in the subjective nature of the mind.
Compassion, what I sometimes also call human affection, is the determining factor of our life. Connected to the palm of the hand, the five fingers become functional; cut off from it, they are useless. Similarly, every human action becomes dangerous when it is deprived of human feeling. When they are performed with feeling and respect for human values, all activities become constructive.
My mother, a compassionate woman
I WAS BORN OF A SIMPLE FAMILY from the remote Amdo province in Tibet. As a child, I grew up surrounded by the loving-kindness of my mother, a woman of great compassion. And after I arrived in Lhasa at the age of four, everyone around me, my teachers and the servants, taught me what it means to be good, honest, and caring. That is the environment I grew up in.
Later on, my classical education in Buddhist thought exposed me to concepts such as interdependence and the human potential for infinite compassion. That allowed me to become aware of the importance of universal responsibility, nonviolence, and understanding among religions. Today faith in these values gives me a powerful motivation to promote basic human qualities. In the context of my own struggle for human rights and a greater freedom of the Tibetan people, these values continue to guide my commitment to the nonviolent path.1
It’s time to think in human terms
WHEN I SPEAK OF KINDNESS and compassion, I am not expressing myself as a Buddhist, or as the Dalai Lama, or as a Tibetan, but rather as a human being. And I hope that you also consider yourselves as human beings, rather than as Americans, Westerners, or members of one group or another. Such distinctions are secondary. When we speak as human beings, we can touch the essential thing. If I say, “I am a monk,” or, “I am a Buddhist,” it’s a question of realities that are temporary in comparison with my human nature. The fact of having been born human is fundamental and will not change until death. The rest, whether or not you are learned, rich or poor, is secondary.
Today we are confronted with many problems. Our responsibility is directly involved in conflicts provoked by ideology, religion, race, or the economy. Consequently, the time has come for us to think in human terms, on a deeper level where we respectfully take into consideration the equality of others, for they are human beings like us. We must construct close relationships in mutual confidence, understanding, and support, without paying attention to differences of culture, philosophy, religion, or belief.
After all, all human beings are the same—made up of flesh, bone, and blood. We all want happiness, and we all try to avoid suffering. We are the members of one single human family, and our arguments are born from secondary causes. Disputes, lies, and killings are useless.
Every person we meet is our brother or sister
I WOULD LIKE TO STRESS THIS POINT, which I think is essential. Each person’s happiness can make a profound, effective contribution that can improve the entire human community.
By realizing that we share the same need to be loved, we have the feeling that in every circumstance every person we meet is our brother or our sister. It doesn’t matter if their face is unfamiliar or if their appearance and behavior are unusual. There is no significant chasm between ourselves and others. It doesn’t make sense to pay attention to external differences, for our fundamental nature is identical.
In the final analysis, humanity is one, and our only home is this little planet. If we want to protect it, each one of us has to experience universal altruism. Only this feeling will eliminate the selfish motives that impel people to take advantage of each other. With a sincere and open heart, we are naturally confident and sure of ourselves, and we have nothing to fear from others.
I believe that at all levels of society—family, national, and international—the key to a better, happier world is greater compassion. It is not necessary to become religious, or to believe in an ideology. The important thing is to develop our human qualities as much as we can. I try to treat every person I meet like an old friend, and that gives me a real sensation of happiness.
Loving-kindness, the condition of our survival
AT BIRTH, human beings are naturally endowed with the qualities we need for our survival, such as caring, nurturing, and loving-kindness. Despite the fact that we already possess such positive qualities, however, we tend to neglect them. As a result, humanity faces unnecessary problems. We need to make more efforts to sustain and develop these basic qualities. That is why the promotion of human values is of primary importance. We also need to focus on cultivating good human relations since, whatever our differences of nationality, religious faith, race, wealth, or education, we are all human beings. Faced with difficulties, we always meet someone, a stranger perhaps, who spontaneously offers us help. We all depend on each other in difficult circumstances, and we do so unconditionally. We don’t ask who people are before we help them. We help them because they are human beings like us.2
I pray for a more loving human family
Even when I meet a stranger
Each time I have the same feeling:
“He is another member of my human family.”
Such an attitude deepens
My affection and respect for all beings.
May this natural loving-kindness
Become my small contribution to world peace!
I pray for a world that is more friendly,
More loving, and for a better understanding
Among the human family, on this planet.
That is the appeal I make from the bottom of my heart
To all those who hate suffering
And cherish lasting happiness.
We are all alike
NO MATTER WHAT PART OF THE WORLD we come from, fundamentally we are all the same human beings. We all seek happiness and want to avoid suffering. We all have essentially the same needs and similar concerns. As human beings, we all want to be free, to have the right to decide our own destiny as individuals as well as the destiny of our people. That is human nature.
The problems that confront us today are created by man, whether they are violent conflicts, destruction of the environment, poverty, or hunger. These problems can be resolved thanks to human efforts, by understanding that we are brothers and sisters and by developing this sense of fraternity. We must cultivate a universal responsibility toward each other and extend it to the planet that we have to share.
I feel optimistic that the ancient values that have sustained mankind are reaffirming themselves today, preparing the way for a better, happier twenty-first century.
I pray for all of us, oppressor and friend, so that together we can succeed in building a better world through mutual understanding and love, and that in doing so we may reduce the pain and suffering of all sentient beings.3
On December 10, 1989, the Dalai Lama’s Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech, quoted in part above, was broadcast throughout the world. The cause of Tibet had become international. But it was not as the leader of a government in exile, or as a Tibetan, that the Dalai Lama accepted the Nobel Prize. He shared this distinction as a human being with all those who recognize each other’s basic human values. By claiming his humanity in the universal language of the heart, which goes beyond ideological rifts and notions of cultural identity, the Dalai Lama gave us back our humanity.
Until My Last Breath, I Will Practice Compassion
What do we mean by “compassion"?
COMPASSION CAN BE A MIXTURE of desire and attachment; the love of parents for their child, for instance, is often associated with their own emotional needs and so is not wholly compassionate. Similarly, in marriage the love between husband and wife—especially in the beginning, when one isn’t fully aware of the other’s character—is more like attachment than real love. Our desire can be so strong that the person we are attached to seems good, even if that person is actually very negative. What’s more, we have a tendency to exaggerate the slightest qualities. So when one person’s attitude changes, the other person is often disappointed, and his own attitude changes as a result. That is a sign that love was motivated more from personal need than from an authentic concern for the loved one. Real compassion is not just an emotional response; it is a firm, thought-out commitment. Therefore, an authentic attitude of compassion does not change, even faced with another person’s negative behavior.
Of course, it is not at all easy to develop this form of compassion. To begin, we should understand that other people are human beings just like us. They want happiness and do not want to suffer. When you acknowledge that all beings are equal in their wish for happiness and their right to obtain it, you spontaneously feel an empathy that brings you closer to them. By accustoming your mind to a universal altruism, you will develop a feeling of responsibility for others and the wish to help them overcome their suffering effectively. Such a desire is not selective but is applied impartially to everyone. As long as human beings feel pleasure and pain as you do, there is no logical basis that authorizes you to establish distinctions or to diminish your solicitude for them, even when their attitude is negative.
With patience and time, you will develop this form of compassion. Of course, selfishness and attachment to the sense of an independent, autonomous self are factors that inhibit compassion. In fact, genuine compassion can be experienced only when clinging to the self is eliminated. But that should not prevent us from making a start and progressing on the path now.
True compassion is universal
WE SOMETIMES WRONGLY LIKEN compassion to a feeling of pity. We should analyze the nature of true compassion more deeply.
We naturally feel close to our friends, but that is not authentic compassion. It is a feeling that is partial, whereas true compassion is universal.
True compassion does not stem from the pleasure of feeling close to one person or another, but from the conviction that other people are just like me and want not to suffer but to be happy, and from a commitment to help them overcome what causes them to suffer. I must realize that I can help them suffer less. That is true, well thought-out compassion.
This attitude is not limited to the circle of our relatives and friends. It must extend to our enemies too. True compassion is impartial and bears with it a feeling of responsibility for the welfare and happiness of others.
True compassion brings with it the appeasement of internal tensions, a state of calmness and serenity. It turns out to be very useful in daily life when we’re faced with situations that require self-confidence. And a compassionate person creates a warm, relaxed atmosphere of welcome and understanding around him. In human relations, compassion contributes to promoting peace and harmony.
The power of compassion
ANGER AND HATRED are the main obstacles to compassion. These powerful emotions have the ability to overwhelm the mind completely, but we can sometimes control them. If we don’t master them, they constantly torment us, preventing us from attaining the serenity that characterizes a loving mind.
It is good to ask yourself first of all whether or not anger has any value. Sometimes, when we’re overcome with discouragement and faced with a difficult situation, anger seems to bring an extra amount of energy, confidence, and determination. That is when it is good to examine our state of mind carefully. Although it is true that anger confers a certain energy, when we observe it we discover that it is blind. It is impossible to determine if its result will be positive or negative, because anger clouds the best part of the brain, reason. That is why the energy of anger should be subject to caution. It can inspire behavior that is terribly destructive and unfortunate. When it is pushed to its extreme, anger can make people crazy, to the point where they act to their own and others’ detriment.
We can still develop an energy that’s just as strong, but much better controlled than anger, in order to confront difficult circumstances. This controlled energy comes both from a compassionate attitude and from reason, combined with patience. These are very effective antidotes against anger. Unfortunately, many people scorn these qualities, likening them to weakness. I believe, on the contrary, that they are the true signs of inner strength. Compassion is by nature kind, peaceful, and gentle, while still being very powerful. People who easily lose their patience are uncertain and unstable. That is why in my opinion an outburst of anger is an infallible sign of weakness.
Faced with a problem, then, try to remain humble, while keeping a sincere attitude, and think about the right solution. No doubt some people will try to take advantage of your attitude. If your calm seems to encourage unfair aggression, be firm, but with compassion. If it turns out to be necessary for you to prove your point by severe countermeasures, do so without resentment or bad intentions.
You must understand that even if your adversaries seem to be harming you, in the end their destructive activity will turn against them. To rein in your selfish impulse to retaliate, remember your desire to practice compassion and your responsibility to help others avoid suffering the consequences of their own actions. Calmly chosen measures will be more effective, better adapted, and more powerful, whereas retaliation based on the blind energy of anger rarely reaches its goal.
I am a professional laugher
I HAVE BEEN CONFRONTED WITH many difficult circumstances throughout the course of my life, and my country is going through a critical period. But I laugh often, and my laughter is contagious. When people ask me how I find the strength to laugh now, I reply that I am a professional laugher. Laughing is a characteristic of the Tibetans, who are different in this from the Japanese or the Indians. They are very cheerful, like the Italians, rather than a little reserved, like the Germans or the English.
My cheerfulness also comes from my family. I come from a small village, not a big city, and our way of life is more jovial. We are always amusing ourselves, teasing each other, joking. It’s our habit.
To that is added, as I often say, the responsibility of being realistic. Of course problems are there. But thinking only of the negative aspect doesn’t help to find solutions, and it destroys peace of mind. Everything, though, is relative. You can see the positive side of even the worst of tragedies if you adopt a holistic perspective. If you take the negative as absolute and definitive, however, you increase your worries and anxiety, whereas by broadening the way you look at a problem, you understand what is bad about it, but you accept it. This attitude comes to me, I think, from my practice and from Buddhist philosophy, which help me enormously.
Take the loss of our country, for example. We are a stateless people, and we must confront adversity along with many painful circumstances in Tibet itself. Nevertheless, such experiences also bring many benefits.
As for me, I have been homeless for half a century. But I have found a large number of new homes throughout the vast world. If I had remained at the Potala, I don’t think I would have had the chance to meet so many personalities, so many heads of state in Asia, Taiwan, the United States, and Europe, popes as well as many famous scientists and economists.
The life of exile is an unfortunate life, but I have always tried to cultivate a happy state of mind, appreciating the opportunities this existence without a settled home, far from all protocol, has offered me. This way I have been able to preserve my inner
peace.4
I am a devoted servant of compassion
THE PRACTICE OF COMPASSION gives me the greatest satisfaction. Whatever the circumstances, whatever tragedy I am faced with, I practice compassion. That reinforces my inner strength and brings me happiness by giving me the feeling that my life is useful. Up until now, I have tried to practice compassion as well as I can, and I will continue to do so until my last day, until my last breath. For in the deepest part of my being, I feel that I am a devoted servant of compassion.
The Dalai Lama has often said that when he left Tibet he left all his wealth behind him, but he carried in his heart the priceless treasure of infinite compassion.
Compassion, path of my happiness
A BIG QUESTION UNDERLIES OUR EXPERIENCE, whether or not we are aware of it: What is the meaning of life? I have thought about this, and I would like to share my thoughts on this subject.
I believe that the aim of life is to be happy. From birth, every human being aspires to happiness and does not want to suffer. Social conditions, education, and ideology do not affect these tendencies of our deepest being. That is why it is important to find out what will bring us the most happiness.