MOD: Ministry of Defence
Mobile phone: cell phone
MP: Member of Parliament, politician representing an area
MRSA: A strain of antibiotic-resistant bacteria
Myra Hindley: famous British serial killer
Naff: tacky/corny, not cool
Naff all: none
National Service: compulsory military service, in the UK ended in 60s
Net curtains: a type of semi-transparent lace curtain
NHS: National Health Service, public health service of the UK
Nick: police station (as verb: to arrest)
Nowt: nothing
Nutter: insane person, can be used affectionately
Nursery: a place which grows plants, shrubs and trees for sale (often wholesale)
O level: exams taken between age 14 and 16 until 1988 (replaced by GCSEs)
Old bag: old woman (insulting)
Old Bill: police
OTT: over the top
Owt: anything
Pants: noun: underwear, adjective: bad/rubbish/terrible
Para: paratrooper
Pay-as-you-go: a cell phone on which you pay for calls in advance
PC: police constable
Pear-shaped: gone wrong
Petrol: gasoline
Pictures: movie
Pillbox: a concrete building, partly underground, used as an outpost defence
Pillock: fool
Pips: police insignia indicating rank
Piss off: an exclamation meaning go away (rude), can also mean annoy
Pissing down: raining
Playing field: sports field
Pleb: ordinary person (often insulting)
Portakabin: portable building used as temporary office etc.
Post: mail
Planning Department: the local authority department that issues licences to build and develop property
PNC: police national computer
PSNI: Police Service of Northern Ireland
Prat: idiot, can be used affectionately
Premier League: top English soccer division
Proms: annual concerts held at the Albert Hall
Public analyst: scientists who perform chemical analysis for public protection purposes
RAF: Royal Air Force
Rag: newspaper
Ram-raiding: robbery where a vehicle is rammed through a shop window
Randy: horny
Recce: reconnaissance
Red Adair: famous oil well firefighter
Resus: resuscitation room
Right state: messy
Ring: telephone (verb)
Roadworks: repairs done to roads
Rozzers: police
RSPB: Royal Society for the Protection of Birds
RTC: road traffic collision
RV: rendezvous point
Royal Engineers: British army corps dealing with military engineering, etc.
Rugger: rugby (posh American football)
Sarge: sergeant
SCO19: Specialist Crime and Operations Specialist Firearms Command
Scrote: low life
Section: to have someone committed to a mental hospital under UK mental health laws
Semi: semi-detached house, a house with another house joined to it on one side only
Shedload: a large amount
Shop: store
Shout the odds: talk in a loud bossy way
Sickie: day off work pretending to be ill
Sixth-form college: where students study A levels
SIO: senior investigating officer
Skell: a homeless person, aka ‘tramp’ (insulting)
Skip: a large open container used for building waste
Slapper: used to label somebody as overtly sexual, typically a younger woman, aka ‘skank’ (insulting)
Smackhead: heroin addict (insulting)
Snout: police informer
SOCO: scene-of-crime officer
Sod: an annoying person
Sort: to do or make
Solicitor: lawyer
Sparky: electrician
Spook: spy
Spuds: potatoes
Squaddie: a soldier of low rank
Stunner: beautiful woman
Super: superintendent (police rank)
Surveyor: someone who examines land and buildings professionally
Sweeting: endearment, like sweetheart
Tabloid: newspaper, typically known for a sensationalist style of journalism
Tea: dinner (Northern English)
Tea towel: drying cloth
Till: cash register
Tip: a mess, e.g. ‘This room is a tip’, or a local garbage dump
Tipsy: a bit drunk
Top oneself: commit suicide
Torch: flashlight
Tutor: university teacher
Tower block: tall building containing apartments (usually social housing)
Twoc: steal a car, often just for joyriding (taking without owner’s consent)
Upmarket: affluent or fancy
Wacky baccy: cannabis
Wally: silly person (can be used affectionately)
War Cry: Salvation Army magazine
Wash: the washing machine
Water board: company supplying water to an area
White van man: typical working-class man who drives a small truck
WI: Women’s Institute, organization of women in the UK for social/cultural activity
Widow’s weeds: black clothes worn by a widow in mourning
Wilco: will comply, i.e. ‘yes’
Wrinklies: old people
Yellowbelly: native of Lincolnshire (not to be confused with yellow-belly, meaning a coward)
Yob: a rude or aggressive youth or person
Yorkie: type of chocolate bar
CONSTABLE AROUND THE HOUSES a perfect feel-good read from one of Britain’s best-loved authors Page 23