by Lila Rose
Dedication
To my family, who has encouraged me to continue doing what I love.
Acknowledgments
I have found that this is always the hardest part in writing a novel, because there is always many who I want to acknowledge.
First and always Becky, Kayla and Justine. I'd honestly be lost without you three who have helped my work reach its fullest. Thank you.
Terri, Debbie and Dawn, thank you for your kind words and support.
Louisa at LM Creations. You are amazing!
Angel at Angel’s Indie Formatting it was a true pleasure to work with you.
Ena at Enticing Journey Book Promotions. You are a superstar at what you do and I appreciate all your hard work.
Nicole, who Deanna is based off. I love and admire you. You're strong in many ways and you deserve the best in life.
My street team members, who have helped me pimp, support and begged me for more. You keep me going, knowing that you're all out there waiting to read whatever comes outta my head.
To the readers, I am so overwhelmed with the amount of people who came to me telling me how much they loved Holding Out and can't wait until Climbing Out. I only hope that you'll receive enjoyment out of reading this sequel like I have writing it for you all!
Deanna
As I watched Zara and her new husband twirl on the dance floor at their wedding reception, I wanted to throw up. Then again, I was also so fuckin' happy for her; maybe that was why I felt sick to my stomach...
She looked absolutely beautiful in her designer gown, even if her baby bump was showing. It was as though she pulled her dress from a page in a princess storybook and slapped it on herself. Bitch.
Only she deserved this happy day, and so many more after the hell she'd been through. Even though three months had passed, it still felt like yesterday when I'd come out of Griz's room at the compound to find Zara had been taken. The thought that I'd possibly lose my best friend shattered many things inside of me.
Yes, she pulled out of it, but I knew what something like that could cost you mentally. Sure, she seemed fine on the outside, but the inside would be a different matter. At least she had her boss-man to take care of her, and I knew he would.
Sighing, I sat back in my chair, and even though my insides were playing turmoil, I felt myself smile. Zara would soon be whipped away for her honeymoon in Fiji, the vacation they never got to have because everything turned into crazy-arse wedding planning mode. She was so excited about it, and when she got excited, other people also joined in on her thrill ride.
From the look in boss-man's eyes, I knew she'd be on her back in a matter of time. I chuckled to myself. There was no way I'd ever want to be in that situation. Okay, so yeah, I could do with the part of being on my back, just without the being married and knocked up bit.
My eyes searched out Griz. He stood on the other side of the dance floor, casually leaning against the bar; his eyes were on me. I squeezed my legs together. Goddamn did I want that man, but he kept fighting it, and right then I was glad he did.
My life for the next seven months or so was going to be busy. I didn't need the distraction, and I knew as soon as I had my hands on Griz, I wouldn't ever want to let go.
I looked to my bag and saw the letter sticking out. I pushed it back in and zipped it up. That was the second letter; I got the first one when Zara's shit had started. Both were like a knife to my stomach. I thought I'd gotten rid of him from my life—obviously that wasn't the case.
I had eight months before he came looking for me.
I could only hope my plan would work.
If not...I'd be dead.
Four Months Later
Deanna
Click, click, click. The sound of my fingers flying over the computer’s keyboard was starting to annoy the fuck outta me. I turned up Roachford on my iPod sitting in its dock on my desk. My attention quickly went back to the monitor. Buy, buy, and buy. It was all I could think of.
Some thumps on my front door sounded over the music. I rolled my eyes, because I already knew who it was. Sighing, I put a halt on my online retail therapy and slid my chair back so I could bang my head against the desk. She was never going to get the fuckin' hint I wanted to be left alone for a while. I didn't want to taint her happiness with my...bitchiness.
“Open the flipping door, Deanna. I'm a woman on edge. I had a large slushy on the way over and I'm six months pregnant. Do you want me to pee on your doorstep for all your neighbors to see?” Zara yelled.
Fuck it.
I shouldn't have turned up the music, because now she knew I was definitely home, and I knew she wouldn't be ignored this time.
“Come on, cupcake; she's going to blow,” Julian joined in on the yelling.
Scoffing, I got up and started for the front door of my two-story house. On the way, I took in the sight surrounding me. There was no way I could hide anything in the next two seconds, so I opened the door and prepared myself for hell.
“You.” Zara glared as she cupped her hoo-ha with one hand while the other was pointing a finger at me. “We have some talking to do, wench, but move, 'cause I've gotta go.” She pushed past me and ran for the bathroom that was down the hall off the lounge room, only her steps faltered before she reached the hall’s doorway. “What the truck?” She gaped at everything around her.
“Incubator, we'll talk about how crazy our girl is after you pee,” Julian said as he stepped through the front door and kissed me on my cheek.
I shut the front door and was geared up to knock myself out when Julian squealed behind me. I spun around and saw him clutching the Ouran High School Host Club DVD box set to his chest.
“Oh, my gawd! I-I've wanted this for years, but Mattie said if I got it he'd turn me out. Holy capoly, girlfriend, be prepared to have me living at your house just so I can watch this day-in and day-out.” He sighed.
“Keep it,” I said.
Julian eyed me suspiciously. He leisurely took me in from head to toe and then back again. “You look like shit.”
I rolled my eyes and went back over to my desk, sat down and hit buy. A notice popped up on the screen announcing I was now the proud owner of a house in the Grampians.
Even though my eyes were still on the screen, I knew exactly when Zara had come back out. She stood behind me and slapped me on the back of the head.
“What the fuck?” I spun my computer chair around and glared up at her.
“What the duck, indeed,” she hissed. “What is going on here, Deanna? I haven't seen you in two, nearly three months, and this is what I find when I finally catch you at home?” She gestured to the room around her. “Are you starting your own Target store? What is with all this crap?”
All this crap was the only thing I hoped would keep...him from coming after his—well, what he thought was his—inheritance. If I spent nearly every penny, he'd have no reason to hunt me down.
However, I couldn't tell Zara any of that. She was in a happy place after having been through her own hell. I wouldn't bring her down again.
I shrugged. “Just doin' a little shoppin'.”
She turned to Julian, who was still fawning over his DVDs. “Do you believe her lies?”
“Hen pecker, I believe her lies are so big I could roll them in a joint and be high off them for a year.”
“See? We don't believe you.” She pulled me outta my chair and studied my face. “Hun, please, please tell me what this is all about. And I mean everything—why you've been avoiding us, and why your house looks like a...a hoarder’s place.”
“Do you guys want a coffee?” I asked instead of answering. Though, making a quick escape to the kitchen didn't work; they followed me.
“Don't make me bring in the big guns to get you talking
, Deanna Drake.”
I laughed. “What, your mum?” I walked around the bench and readied the coffeemaker, and then turned to them as they sat at the kitchen counter.
“No—” she began.
I interrupted her. “Is that where Maya and Cody are?” I asked. Zara and Talon had won full custody for Cody two months ago, and they were ecstatic about it. So was Cody; he loved Zara, even more than his own mother. Though, no one could blame the kid; his mom was a slut.
“They're at school. Do you even know what day it is?”
“Sure, I was just fuckin' testing you, making sure you knew where your kids were, ‘cause you know, once your tribe pops out of you, you're gonna have to be on your toes.”
“Bullshit,” Julian coughed into his hand. “Basic maneuver to change subject.”
“That's the truth.” Zara glared. “That's it; if you don't start talking, I'm calling.” She grabbed her phone from her jeans pocket and opened it, fingers ready to dial.
“It's nothing you need to worry about, bitch.”
“Five seconds, Deanna.”
“Seriously?”
“Four seconds,” she chimed.
“Who the fuck are you gonna call?” I snapped.
“The boss-man.” She smiled.
“No,” I gasped and shook my head.
“Yep. My hubby is already on speed dial. Four seconds, hun.”
“Jesus, lamb chop, you're up to three seconds. Preggo brain strikes again,” Julian said and sighed.
“If you call him, I will seriously be pissed at you,” I informed her, and then leaned against the kitchen bench with my arms crossed over my chest.
“I'm willing to take your pissed-off mood if it gets me to the bottom of what's going on with you.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. “Zara, please just leave it be.”
“Oh, shit,” Julian gasped, “she sounds serious, baby doll. S-she said please, and without cussing.”
Zara nodded and said to me, “I know, but I can't let you deal with whatever you are on your own, Deanna. Friends don't do that. Also, if I recall correctly, it wasn't that long ago you were at my side through all my hell, and you wouldn't listen to me when I wanted it left well enough alone.”
“Sing it, sister. Testify!” Julian yelled.
With a roll of my eyes, I said, “But look at how well all that turned out. And that was nearly a year ago.”
“Tell me, Deanna,” she pleaded.
I shook my head. “It's fine—nothing.”
“Deanna!”
“Zara! Just let this blow over, and then everything will be back to normal.” I hope.
“Let what blow over, buttercup?” Julian asked.
Shit!
“Nothin’. Look, I got crap to do, so both of you can just fuck off outta here.”
Zara frowned, shook her head and then uttered, “One.” She pressed her phone to her ear.
Fuck no!
I ran around the bench intending to tackle her for the phone, but she must have known that would have been my first move. She ran from the room.
“Hey, honey,” I heard her say into the phone as I chased after her.
“Zara!” I yelled. “Don't you fuckin' dare.” I glared as she stood on the other side of the couch.
“That's just Deanna in a bad mood.”
“I will kill you,” I hissed through clenched teeth.
“Why, you ask, is Deanna in a bad mood? Well, honey, I'm not sure, but there is something wrong here, Talon. I'm worried.”
Motherfucker.
I knew I had no chance now. If Zara was worried, Talon would try his best to squish that worry for her—in any way he could.
I was done for.
Shit. No I wasn't. I was Deanna Drake, and I didn't let anyone tell me what to do.
“Yeah,” she said into the phone, “thanks, honey. I'll see you soon.” She flipped the phone closed, and put it in her pocket while biting her bottom lip.
Yeah, she should be worried. I was going to do what any tough, don't-fuck-with-me woman would do.
I ran from the room, up the stairs and locked myself in my bedroom.
My door shook as it got pounded on. “Open the fuckin' door, Hell Mouth,” Talon barked.
There was no way in hell I was opening my door. I was sure I could wait out the lot of them.
“Just leave,” I groaned from where I lay on my bed with my arm over my eyes.
“You know I won't. You're worrying my woman, Hell Mouth. I can't let that happen. Not only fuckin' that, but who her people are, now are Hawks’ people, and you're one of 'em. We help each other, and that means either come out here and tell me what in Christ’s name is goin' on, or I come in there.”
I snorted...and wiped away the stinkin' tears that broke free while I thanked fuck no one could see how his words had turned me into some stupid emotional woman.
But they had.
Because of Zara, I now had a family, one that was alive and willing to help. Jesus, I knew I had become a raging bitch when Zara wouldn't let anyone help with her problem, and now I was doing the same.
Ironic. Insert eye roll.
But this was different.
Now I totally understood why Zee was so damned determined to keep others safe from her crazy ex, because right then, I was willing to do the same. The only difference was that the wanker who would soon be after me wasn't an ex.
Fuckin' hell.
Was I being stupid with this act? Probably.
But I didn't want anyone to see the scared fucker I was becoming underneath this facade. I thought I could take on everything.
I was wrong.
I was weak.
And I hated it. I hated myself.
David, Zee's weirdo ex, helped prove how much of a wuss I was.
It was a week after Zee's episode with him that Talon called me in the middle of the night askin' me if I wanted my payback, and if I did, I had to get my ass to Pyke’s Creek.
What I thought I was prepared to do ended up being different than what I did do.
Griz
I was sitting opposite Talon in his office at the compound when his phone rang.
He looked at the screen and smiled. I knew straight away who it was before he answered it with, “Kitten, what's up?”
His smile fell from his face. “Who the fuck is yellin' in the background?” He waited for his answer, and then said, “Why is she spazzin' out?” He sighed. “You need me?” he asked, and then added, “I'm comin'.”
He threw his phone to the desk and then must'a thought better of it; instead, he pocketed it as he stood.
“What's going on, brother?”
“Zara's at Hell Mouth's. Somethin's going on, so I'm headin' over there.”
I also stood and asked, “Mind if I join you?”
He gave me a knowing smirk and chuckled. “Sure, Griz.”
I ignored his reaction, followed him out of the compound and stalked across the graveled path to our Harleys.
“When are you gonna snap the fuck outta your shit and take what you want?” Talon asked as he placed his helmet on.
“Don't know what you’re talking 'bout. There ain't nothin' I want.” I sat astride my bike and belted up my helmet.
“Motherfuckin' bullshit. Wake the fuck up, brother. Hell Mouth won't be available forever.”
“You of all people know I don't need another bitch to deal with.” My bike roared to life.
“She'd be different,” Talon yelled over the rumble of our bikes. “I think you know this, and that scares the fuck outta you more.” With that, he kicked the stand up and took off.
Following him, my mind couldn't help but wonder off, thinking 'bout princess. Talon was right—she would be different, and that did scare the fuck outta me, because I've never felt the attraction I did for her for anyone else.
As if to prove the point, my dick hardened.
Christ, now wasn't the time to get a hard-on like some fuckin' little boy.
&n
bsp; I got enough shit to deal with in my life than worrying 'bout her, but it had been too long since I'd seen her. For some reason, she'd been absent from everyone’s lives for the last couple of months. I often heard Wildcat complaining about it.
There had to be an explanation. Anyone could see the love Deanna had for Wildcat, so for her to keep her distance like she had been, there had to be a huge fuckin' reason.
Maybe if I could find out what crap she was dealing with and fix it, then I could stop thinking about her and worrying every minute of the damn day.
And my shit won't stink either.
We pulled up to her two-story brick home in fuckin' suburbia. I bet her neighbours had their blinds twitching, searching and wondering why Deanna had two criminal-looking bikers walking up her drive.
Talon didn't bother knocking; he walked right in and I followed to find Wildcat and Julian sitting on a couch with a ton of shit surrounding them.
Talon let out a low whistle as I took in all the crap, from toasters to books to—was that a fuckin' vibrator sitting on top of the desk? I was afraid to look.
“What the fuck is all this shit?” I asked.
“That's what we want to know,” Wildcat said. I glanced at her and could see the concern showing in her eyes.
“Where is she?” Talon asked as he made his way to his woman. He helped her from the couch and twisted her so she was in his arms.
“Once she knew you were coming, hunk, she took off to her room and locked herself in there,” Julian explained.
I seriously wished he'd quit with the damn pet names.
Talon looked back at me and I nodded. We made our way down the hall—which was also full of shit—and up the stairs to her room. I didn't ask how Talon knew which room hers was, 'cause I sure as hell didn't know, and it kinda already pissed me off.
It had to be because Wildcat told him.
It had damned well better be!
Talon banged on her door and barked, “Open the fuckin' door, Hell Mouth.”
“Just leave.” We heard with a groan of annoyance.
Talon started to say something else, but I was too occupied with my own thoughts to listen. What was going on with her? Why couldn't bitches just say whatever the hell was wrong with them, and then fix the fuckin’ problem instead of doing this childlike shit?