Climbing Out

by Lila Rose

  Fuckin' hell. She was on the verge of tears.

  “Zara,” I said, “get your hormones under control.”

  She stood straighter and said, “Right, yes. We're here about you.”

  Damn, I shouldn't have said anything.

  “Kitten,” Talon barked. We all looked at him to see he was tense, but his eyes were warmly focused on his wife. He took two steps and had her in his arms. “You don't have anything to worry about. I don't give a fuck if there are ten thousand women checkin' me out, and you shouldn't either, 'cause I fuckin' love the way you move, the way you look and the way you tell me off. No one will ever gain my attention for the rest of my life the way you have.”

  “Oh. My. Gawd,” Julian whispered.

  Something dropped onto my cheek. I looked to the ceiling to find what it had been, but nothing was there. It was then I realised my eyes had tears filling them, and one had escaped.

  Fuck.

  What was wrong with me? Why in hell was I leaking over shit like that?

  I could only come to one conclusion—I must’ve been PMSing.

  “Honey.” I watched Zara melt into Talon. She whispered something into his ear that had him chuckling, and if I knew my girl like I knew I did, she was promising him something steamy in bed.

  She turned in his arms back to me. “Now how about we all go to our house, hun? We'll have dinner, some drinks and we'll get all this sorted out.”

  “No, thanks. I'm all right here. You guys go ahead though.” I walked around my bed and out of my bedroom, down the stairs and into the kitchen. I knew they were following me.

  I stopped at the coffee pot and offered, “Anyone want one before you hit the road?”

  “Hell Mouth,” Talon hissed through clenched teeth. I turned to find him on the other side of the kitchen bench with Julian and Zara.

  “Yes, boss-man?”

  “If you don't get your arse in Zara's car, I will carry you outta your own house kicking and screamin'. What's it gonna be?”

  “You know he'll do it. You've seen him do it to me,” Zara added.

  Sighing, I looked down at the floor pretending to think about it, but really, I just wanted to annoy him for butting into my shit.

  Though, I couldn't really blame him. No, it was his wife I was gonna smother in her sleep.

  Glancing up, I rolled my eyes. “Oh, all right.”

  Dinner at Zara and Talon's house was always something I enjoyed, no matter what kinda funk I was in. Honestly, who wouldn't? What I presumed would just be Talon, Zara, Julian, Mattie and the kids, actually turned out to be all of them, plus Zara's parents with their foster daughter

  Josie, and Talon's sister Vi and her boyfriend Travis. Thankfully, Talon's house was huge enough to have us all there.

  It was loud, messy and fun.

  Until the front door opened, and in walked Blue and Killer. From just one look at their tense faces, Talon was outta his chair and in their little huddle at the front door.

  “Oh, my. I'll never get over seeing so many delicious men in a room,” Nancy, Zara's mum, said, causing Josie to giggle and Richard, Zara's dad, to sigh loudly.

  “Mum,” Zara snapped and made wide eyes, gesturing toward Cody and Maya.

  “Oh, what? It's not like I said they were—”

  “Nancy,” Richard interrupted, “let's get these munchkins ready for bed.” He stood from the table. “Josie, want to help, honey?”

  Josie was still quiet around a large group, but if she was on her own, one-on-one, you could never shut her up—unless that someone was a male. She was still very timid around any man, even Mattie. Though Julian was girly enough, she never flinched any longer when he'd get near her. Still, there was one exception, and that was the youngest Hawks member, Billy Anders. Anyone could see the major crush Josie had on him. We could only hope he'd never be stupid enough to break her heart. But most of us were sure it was bound to happen, because he was such a womanizer.

  Nancy, Richard and Josie disappeared with the kids from the kitchen and down the hall. They must have sensed something was going to go down, because in the next second, a piercing cry sounded at the door, bringing everyone’s attention back to the group of delicious bikers.

  Talon, Blue and Killer moved aside, and in walked—Holy hell. It was Griz carrying a beautiful, little blonde girl in him arms who was screaming like a banshee.

  What in the hell was going on?

  I didn't know, but damn he looked good in jeans, biker boots, a white tee and his club’s vest over the top. His eyes were a little more grey and hard, and his salt-and-pepper hair was a mess, but seeing it made me want to run my hands through it—just like every other time he walked into a room.

  And honest to fuckin' God, he looked sexy as hell carrying that gorgeous little girl in his arms...even if she wasn't shutting up.

  “Oh, my,” Zara whispered.

  “Zara,” Talon called. She got up from the table and went straight into his waiting arms. He said something quietly to her and I watched—though I was sure it wasn't only me watching—as her eyes grew wide, her hand flew to her mouth and she nodded.

  “New drama is a-blazing,” Julian sang.

  He was sure as fuck right.

  Griz

  Watching Zara being informed I not only had a kid, but that kid’s mother had just died hurt me more than I thought it would—especially when she turned her eyes toward me, which were now filled with sympathy and pain.

  But I didn't deserve it.

  I hated the bitch who died, and right then, even though Swan was balling her eyes out, I was one fuckin' happy man. I had my girl—my baby—to myself, to raise in the way I wanted her to be, surrounded with people who cared about her more than anything, even more than their own life. That was what the brotherhood was about, and that brotherhood extended to their old ladies and rug-rats.

  “Hey there, pretty girl,” Wildcat cooed, capturing Swan's attention, who immediately settled a little. “Are you hungry?”

  “She doesn't talk, Wildcat, but I'm sure she's hungry. Thanks, sweetheart.”

  Zara nodded, clapped her hands out to Swan and I was goddamn surprised when Swan reached out with her own small arms to be taken.

  As Wildcat walked off with Swan, I watched them the whole way and was damn glad I did. Swan looked over Zara's shoulder and smiled. She smiled. My dead heart started to fill from that one little expression, only to skip a beat when my gaze landed on Deanna.

  Fuck. She looked sexy. She sat at the table with Mattie, Julian, Vi and Travis, and while they all talked, her attention was only on me, and the look she was giving me—like she wanted to rip my clothes off—caused my dick to harden.

  Shit.

  “Griz, brother, wanna fill me in on what went down?” Talon asked.

  “Like I already said, I found Kathy dead in her house. Swan was crying, so I broke in. I got the brothers to come first, and then the cops came and questioned us. It was obvious she'd OD’ed on something.”

  “Did they accuse you of anything?”

  “They would have liked to, but a neighbour stated she'd had a crazy party last night, and that she saw me pull up not long before the cops did.”

  “Fuck, man.” Talon sighed. He turned to Blue and Stack. “Did you find anything?”

  Blue looked at me. I nodded, giving him the go ahead to talk. “Yeah, Talon, we found a member’s vest...an old one.”

  “What the fuck do you mean?” Talon hissed.

  “It was Maxwell's,” I said.

  Max was the one who left our club when Talon had taken over and cleaned the brotherhood up. Max still wanted to deal in hookers; he couldn't get enough of it. He loved the money they brought him, the attention and the pussy.

  “We gonna have a chat with him?” Talon asked.

  I ran a hand over my face. “Not tonight, man. I'm tired, and I want Swan to have my attention all night. I don't wanna leave her.”

  Talon nodded. “Fair enough. But tomorrow, we go tal
k with our old pal.”

  I smiled, because I sure as fuck had questions for Maxwell, like why the fuck he would allow Kathy to have a party with my little girl in the house in the first place.

  Jesus. The thought made me sick to my stomach. What in the hell had my baby seen last night?

  “Calm down, brother,” Talon ordered. “We'll find the answers.”

  Giving a chin lift, I turned my attention back to the table. Talon would have known how I was feeling, because he'd feel the exact same way if it had happened to his kids.

  “What's the situation with Hell Mouth?” I asked.

  “Don't fuckin' know yet. Everyone turned up for dinner and we didn't want to talk about shit in front of the kids, but whatever it is, she'll need protection.”

  I'd guessed as much.

  “I need her keys,” I said, while watching her at the table admiring Swan, who was sitting in Wildcat's lap eating some meat and vegetables.

  Talon chuckled. “Kitten?” he called. Zara eyed her husband, handed Swan off to Vi and made her way over.

  “Yes, honey?” she asked as she wrapped her arms around Talon's waist.

  “Babe, I need you to get Hell Mouth's keys on the down low.”

  Her brows arched; she looked from her man to me, so I supplied her with the reason why. “We're guessin' that whatever Deanna has to come clean about is serious enough to need protection. That right?” When Zara slowly nodded, I added, “So I'll have to move some things in, and if she knows before I get my shit to her place, she'll put up a huge fight. But if my stuff’s already there...” I trailed off.

  Zara smiled. “I'll get them.”

  Talon laughed. “That'a girl.” He smacked her on the arse as she walked off.

  “What about Swan?” Blue asked, his eyes shining with humour.

  “I'll be taking her with me. Once Zara gets the keys, I'll need you two to go to my place and pack what you think I'll need from my room and Swan's—her bed and all. Then you'll need to go to Deanna's, fix her bedroom door if ya can and load all my shit in. If you can find fuckin' room.”

  “What you mean by that?” Killer asked.

  “You'll see once you get there. You two okay with doin' that?”

  “Pleasure.” Killer grinned.

  “Yeah, I just wish I could see Hell Mouth's face once she realises,” Blue chuckled.

  I couldn't wait to see it either.

  Deanna

  My stomach was in knots. Zara's parent had left with Josie, and I knew the time was coming for me to talk. Everyone was expecting it, and I knew if I didn't supply them with the reason why I was going bat-shit crazy, Zara would.

  But something else was going down as well. I could sense it. Zara was being cagey—one second she was with us at the table helping Swan eat¸ the next she was with Talon, and then next she'd disappear into the kitchen, only to return and walk back over to the guys still huddled at the door. Then Blue and Killer left, but not before staring at me with...amusement in their eyes.

  Yes, something else was happening, and I think that something was at my expense.

  Now, we were all sitting back at the kitchen table, with Griz joining us after he took Swan from Vi and sat her on his lap. The kids were in bed watching something on their TVs, and Zara had just come in from the kitchen once again—this time with Julian—and handed out coffees for everyone.

  “All right, Hell Mouth,” Talon began, and then took a sip of his coffee, “enough time has passed. Let's have this out.”

  “Looks like we came on the right night for dinner,” Vi said, rubbing her hands together. I glared at her.

  “Vi,” Travis warned. He knew of our hate-hate relationship. Actually, I was sure everyone knew of it. It wasn't like I totally hated her—she had helped Zara in a huge way—but I hated the thought of anyone new stepping between what Zara and I had.

  Was I jealous?

  Fuck yeah.

  Because I couldn't lose Zara. She was my rock.

  “Yeah, well, feel free to fuckin' leave,” I said.

  “Deanna!” Zara snapped and looked to Swan.

  I rolled my eyes and muttered, “Sorry.”

  “Let's just get this sorted so I can get my girl home,” Griz growled.

  Shit. My heart skipped over and stalled. That was something I'd wish Griz would say about me. 'Get my girl home.' Yes, fuckin' please.

  Instead, I glared at Griz and asked, “Any chance you wanna fill us in on why the...heck none of us knew you had a kid?”

  “No,” he stated like there was never going to be an explanation, but I wasn't going for that.

  “I knew,” Vi said.

  “Jesus.” Travis sighed. “You can't help yourself,” he said with a smile. “Precious, I think it's time we left.”

  “No way! I want to find out what's going on.” She glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest.

  “I'm sure you'll be filled in sooner or later, but it'll be less tense without us here, and anyway, we should get home to Izzy. The sitter can only stay for so long.”

  Violet actually growled. “You spoil all my fun.”

  “Thanks, man.” Talon grinned.

  “Yeah, thanks.” I smirked.

  “Hell Mouth,” Griz said with a warning tone.

  “So here it is, and I'm not going to repeat it, so listen—beep—carefully,” I said, once Travis had left with an annoyed Vi. Zara giggled at my attempt of adding in a swear word, but I had to add in something. It was killin' me not to, but when I looked at the sleeping form of Swan—Griz's flipping daughter—something in me wanted to behave like a grown-up.

  I fuckin' hate doing this. I goddamn hate that I didn't know Griz had a kid when I want to be the one to have his babies...Holy shit, where in the hell did that come from? I want his kids? Fuck no! I'd be no good as a bloody mother.

  “Sinner of all sins, how about you spit it out before hunter-man has a breakdown?” Julian suggested. I looked next to me at Griz, who had his jaw clenched and was glaring at me.

  “Fine,” I sighed. “I grew up in foster care, going through family after family until I came to the Drakes' house. They actually put up with my bad mouth and attitude enough, even going so far as to show me...love. Until, that was, their son came home from traveling. He didn't like me. I didn't like him. Jesus, do I really have to?” I whined the last part.

  “Yes,” Griz growled.

  “Okay, okay. He came into my room one night and said if I didn't put out for him, he'd kill his own parents.”

  “Fuck,” Griz hissed, and then yelled, “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

  Swan stirred in his arms. Mattie jumped up from the table, and with tears in his eyes, he swept Swan out of Griz's hold and out of the room.

  “I thought no swearin'?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Sweetheart, don't,” Julian uttered.

  Zara had tears in her eyes. Talon was as stiff as a board, and Griz...emitted a different kind of heat. His hands were clenched on his thighs like he was just waiting to hit something.

  My heart sank and sputtered to life.

  Fuck me.

  They cared...and I couldn't handle that.

  “Keep going, hun,” Zara supported.

  I nodded and stared down at the table. “I didn't know what to do, but I knew—I knew he was fucked up enough to do just that. And I would never want anything to happen to the Drakes, so I...I gave myself to him.”

  Shifting in my seat, I felt all their eyes on me and I didn't like it. I hated attention. “I let it go on for a year. Then I thought of a plan. So one night when he came into my room, I'd hidden a video camera. I told him no—like I had every other night—so he forced me. The next day, I thought I was the smart one and went to him, telling him to leave and stay to the fuck away or else I'd go to the cops and show them what he was doing. I-I should’ve fuckin' known. He went into a fit of rage, but then he left, so I thought I'd won.”

  I took a deep breath to steady myself. There was no w
ay I was going to cry. I had cried enough.

  “Mrs Drake overheard our conversation. She was devastated her son could do something like that. She wanted me to go to the police, but I didn't. I didn't want anyone to judge the Drakes for what their son, Jason, had done. Two months later, he broke into the house, and after he killed his father and tried to kill his mother, he came into my room—with blood all over him—to kill me too. Only Mrs Drake was still alive, and she called the cops. They came and he went to jail. Mrs Drake lived for another week on life support, and then passed away. It wasn't until I was at the reading of the wills that I found out—the day before their son had come home—they'd changed their wills and left everything to me.”

  I rubbed at my chest and then my eyes.

  That had hurt.

  It wasn't like I wanted to forget them, but if I let the memories get to me, I'd be crazy. I was nearing crazy when I met Zara three years later; she’d helped me and dragged me out of my darkness.

  Julian's breath hitched, and I watched Zara wipe away her own tears while I waited for someone to say something.

  It was Griz's hard voice that supplied a question to the silence. “How old were you when it started?”

  “Sixteen.”

  “The fucker gets out soon, doesn't he?” Talon hissed through clenched teeth.

  “Yes, and this is why I’ve gone a little crazy with shopping. I was hoping that he wouldn't come and look for me if he knew I've spent all his money—or the money he thinks is still owed to him.”

  “Are you sure he'll come looking for you?” Julian asked.

  “Yeah. He sent me a letter about nine months ago.”

  “When all my stuff was happening?” Zara gasped. “Oh, God, Deanna. Why didn't you say anything? I'm such a bad friend.” Talon pulled her out of her chair and into his lap.

  “What did the letter say?” Griz asked.

  “‘Looking forward to catching up and my payment,’” I quoted. I witnessed Griz and Talon share a look. “What was that?” I asked. “What was that look about?” Because for some reason, I didn't think that look would mean good news.

  “Nothing. Let's talk about this shit another time. Right now, I gotta get my girl home.” He stood from the table and looked down at me. “I'll give you a lift.”