by Leanne Banks
“Wait,” he said, wrapping his hand around her arm. “Don’t leave. Please.”
Delaying the urge to shake his hand away from her, she took a small breath. That was all she could manage. “Why?” she demanded. “If you had decided to surprise me with my favorite dinner and I had come home smelling of liquor and another man’s cologne, what would you do?”
He clenched his jaw. “After I killed the guy?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes and tugged at her arm. “Let me go. This was a huge mistake. I shouldn’t have done this. If this is who you really are, then I’ve made more than one mistake,” she said, her voice breaking.
“It’s not,” he insisted and stood in front of the door, blocking her way. “This isn’t who I really am. You know that. You’ve been around me.”
“But tonight—”
Pain sliced through his eyes before he closed them. “Tonight is—” He gave a rough groan as if the words were being wrenched from deep inside him. “This is the date Jenny and the baby died.”
Zachary stared into Tina’s eyes and immediately regretted his words.
Sympathy darkened her green gaze and he swore. “I’m so—”
“Damn it, don’t feel sorry for me.”
She blinked then her brow furrowed. “What am I supposed to say? Too bad. Chin up. Or you must have done something horrible for such a horrible thing to happen to you. Or why didn’t you prevent it? Because, after all, you have the power to prevent all tragedy. Correct?”
This time he was taken aback by what she’d said. Due to the excessive quantity of whiskey he’d consumed, his mind wasn’t moving as fast as usual. Somehow she’d hit on every one of his worst fears. Bad things happen to bad people. He should have done more to prevent…
“Go take a shower,” she said. “You’ll feel better.”
He hesitated, still holding her in his sights, afraid she might vanish in a puff of air. She could be a hallucination. “You’ll stay?” he asked.
She nodded. “For now.”
“You won’t leave without telling me first,” he said. “And the deal is I have to be cognizant. Because after I take a shower and fall into bed, I won’t be conscious for a while.”
Her lips twitched. “I agree to the deal,” she said. “Now go take a shower.”
He pushed away from the door but stopped before he passed her. “Sure you don’t want to join me?”
Her eyes rounded in surprise. “In the shower?”
“And in bed,” he said, wanting to feel her soft body against his. She could make him forget for a while. She already had.
She chuckled. “Go.”
Walking to the bathroom, he shucked his clothes and turned on the shower. If he were smart, he would give himself a cold shower as punishment for indulging in his secret pity party tonight, but at the moment, he couldn’t summon his masochistic demons. They were usually close by. With gallows humor, he wondered if Tina had scared them away.
Washing the evening from his skin with soap, he allowed the hot water to slide over him. After an extra moment of the soothing sensation, he climbed out of the tub and dried himself off. Still blinking against the bright light of the bathroom, he brushed his teeth, wrapped the towel around his waist and headed for his bed.
His mind was still muddled and seeing Tina reminded him of everything he’d been missing since he’d left the ranch. Even half-lit he knew that he wouldn’t be in his finest sexual form tonight.
Dropping the towel on the rug beside his bed, he climbed into bed and sighed.
“There’s water on your nightstand if you get thirsty,” Tina said from the open doorway, the light spilling around her in a backlight that resembled a halo.
Zach wondered again if she was some kind of apparition. Glancing at the nightstand, he saw a cup of water. He took a quick gulp. “Thanks. G’night,” he said and surrendered to his weariness.
Crossing her arms over her belly, Tina was full of emotions as she stared into the darkened room. She had traded her crazy life at the palace for an uncertain future with a man chasing his own demons. He was, however, the father of her child and he’d granted her a glimpse of his humanity for just a few moments tonight.
That authenticity was what she’d been craving, what she felt she needed as much as water, as oxygen. Vacillating about what she should do now, she heard Zach snore softly. She shrugged and went to get her nightgown from her overnight bag. In for a penny. In for a euro.
The next morning, Zach awakened as the sun skimmed over his closed eyelids. His senses came to life slowly. He squinted then quickly closed his eyes against the light. His head throbbed unforgivingly and his throat was so dry he felt as if a troop of soldiers had stomped through it.
He groaned and rolled away from the sun, his hand encountering softness. Stretching his fingertips, he felt silky hair. He skimmed his fingers lower and felt skin that reminded him of velvet. Lower, he felt a silky strip of fabric.
“Good morning,” Tina whispered, and her voice brought him into full awareness. She was in bed with him. He’d dreamed of this too many times to name.
He forced his eyes open to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. His head still hammering, he took in the sight of her with her hair tousled over her green eyes, her cheeks flushed with sleep, her gown dipping low to reveal her lush cleavage.
“Morning,” he said. “I can think of ten things I’d like to do to you right now, but the jackhammer in my head isn’t going to let me, damn it,” he muttered.
She gave a low laugh and pulled him against her for a sweet hug that was over way too quickly. He felt her roll away from him.
Wait, he wanted to say, but that damned hammer prevented him.
“Let me get you an aspirin,” she said. “Go ahead and take a sip of water. I’ll fix you some toast.”
His stomach rolled at the prospect. “I don’t want anything to eat.”
“Just a bite or two,” she said. “Trust me.”
He leaned his head back and took some mind-clearing breaths. This was bad. Very bad. He didn’t want Tina seeing him like this. He should have sent her home last night.
He heard her moving around but couldn’t summon the strength to roar at her to tell her to leave. He felt like a frog paralyzed in preparation for dissection for a high school Biology lab.
“Here. Take this,” she said, nudging him gently.
Shifting upward, he accepted the aspirin and water. He took a few bites of the toast and more sips of water.
“This sucks,” he muttered. “I’ve been thinking about you every damn night and every damn morning. Now, I feel like something the cat dragged in.”
She bit her lip as if she were trying to keep from laughing. “Rest. You’ll feel better later.”
Resisting sleep for at least three moments, he couldn’t resist the call…of the pillow.
It must have been centuries later when Zach awakened to the smell of coffee. Climbing up from the depths of sleep, he struggled to open his eyes. He inhaled the scent, drawing it deep inside him, craving the jump-start of caffeine.
Rolling out of bed, he walked toward the smell of it, rubbing his eyes. His gaze traveled, then landed on Tina.
She stared at him in response, her gaze briefly lowered to his groin then rising upward. He glanced down, noting his nakedness.
“I hope there’s a cup left of that coffee or I’m going to have to go out for some,” he said.
Tina quickly poured a cup, brought it to him and pushed it into his hand, her gaze focused firmly on his face.
He took a long drink followed by another, then another. His head began to clear and he met her gaze. “Wanna go back to bed?”
Chapter Thirteen
Tina felt as if she should throw a dish towel over him. Oh, no, that wouldn’t be big enough, she thought. A towel, she thought. Or a blanket.
“How about some more toast?” she countered.
Zach sighed and sucked down the rest of his cup of coffee. He held the empt
y cup out for her and she quickly refilled it.
She cleared her throat, determined not to look below his well-muscled chest. “Would you like a robe?”
He sipped his coffee and sighed again. “Give me a minute,” he said and turned around, treating her to a view of his gorgeous backside as he returned to his bedroom. A moment later, he returned wearing a pair of jeans and an unbuttoned shirt.
He sat down at the dinette table and watched her through hooded eyes. “Toast sounds good,” he said.
She served him four slices, then scrambled eggs. Cooking wasn’t Tina’s forte, but she could manage a few things. She pushed two more slices of toast in front of him and watched him quickly consume them.
Still gazing at her, he raked his hand through his hair. “I don’t remember as much as I should about last night,” he said. “But I do remember you being here when I got back from dinner.”
“Late, late dinner,” she couldn’t resist adding.
“Yeah,” he said. “I stayed later than I should.”
“Because it was the anniversary of your wife and baby’s death,” she said.
Her words stabbed him. He took a quick breath. “Yeah.”
His gaze met hers. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t say it aloud, but his expression yelled it.
“Hildie and I made a pot roast. She said it was your favorite. I reheated it just before I expected you to arrive home. I’m sorry to report that the pot roast may no longer be edible.”
His lips twitched. “The toast and eggs were good.”
“You would have had roast if you hadn’t walked in smelling like liquor and cheap perfume,” she said, still smarting over how long she’d waited for him.
“A woman sat on my lap without invitation. I left as soon as I could and grabbed a cab. The liquor was my brother’s idea.”
“I’m not sure I like your brother,” she said.
“He’s a nice enough guy,” Zach said. “Just needs some direction.” He hesitated a half-beat. “What made you come to the apartment to surprise me?”
She shook her head. “It’s complicated. It stemmed from a discussion with Hildie. I haven’t decided if it was a big mistake or not.”
“What was your goal?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
He shrugged, pouring himself another cup of coffee. “Did you meet your goal? That’s how you decide if it was a mistake or not.”
She felt a surge of self-consciousness, but his gaze challenged her. She bit the inside of her lip because he wouldn’t be able to see that. “I wanted to reach out to you. I was trying to make our relationship more two-way. I realized I hadn’t extended myself much.”
He shrugged his beautiful, muscular shoulders. “Then I would say you succeeded.”
Her heart leapt at the hungry expression in his gaze.
“You wanna sneak out for a while?” he asked.
“Where?”
He shrugged again. “Anywhere. Just out,” he said.
Anticipation rushed through her and she nodded. “Yes. Let’s go.”
A half hour later, he pressed a ball cap over her head and planted her sunglasses over her nose. He crammed another ball cap over his own head.
“Disguise,” he said. “I don’t want the paparazzi after you.”
“I’m pretty sure they won’t recognize me,” she muttered, trying not to think about her now-flat hair.
“That’s the goal,” he said and took her hand in his. “Let’s go.”
He drove to a farmer’s market which featured everything from fresh fruit and vegetables to jewelry and scarves. The carnival atmosphere lifted Tina’s spirits.
“I’d like a few of these scarves for the nursery,” she said, fingering a few of the pink pashminas.
“What are you going to do with them?” he asked.
“Hang them on the wall,” she said, visualizing the nursery. “I haven’t thought much about it, but I guess we need to get started.”
“Yeah,” he said, and lowered his hand to her belly. “How’s the little princess doing?”
Her heart twisted. “Getting bigger. I think she may be a gymnast.”
His lips lifted. “Busy little girl?”
She nodded. “Yes. Maybe she’ll do a somersault for you soon.”
He placed his other hand over her abdomen, cradling her belly. The baby jumped and kicked.
His laser blue eyes widened. “She’s on the move.”
“Yes, she is,” she said, feeling her own kick of delight. “She must know her daddy is holding her.”
He sucked in a deep breath and lowered his mouth to hers. “I’ve missed you, Tina. Damn it, I’ve missed you.”
In the middle of that farmer’s market, Tina kissed him and didn’t care who was watching.
Later that night, Zach looked at the over-cooked pot roast with Tina and shook his head. “Now, that’s a damn shame,” he said. “I haven’t had a good pot roast since I was at the ranch.”
Tina crossed her arms over her chest. “I followed Hildie’s instructions to the letter,” she said defensively.
“I know you did,” he said. “It’s okay. Just sad in a fast-food-for-a-month-diet way,” he said, chuckling under his breath. He glanced at her and chucked his index finger under her chin. “Fair payback for a stupid night of indulgence.”
Her gaze softened. “You had good reason,” she said.
He shrugged, not wanting to go to that dark place again. “Should we bury it?”
“Let’s call Hildie first,” she said.
“I dunno. She’s gonna want an explanation.”
“We should call her,” Tina said. “She may have a suggestion.”
Zach suspected Hildie would grill them on why they hadn’t eaten the roast the way she’d intended. “Go ahead and call.”
Tina’s face fell. “I was thinking you could call.”
Zach shook his head. “I don’t like to get into discussions with Hildie about cooking.”
Tina narrowed her eyes. “You’re scared of her.”
Zach reared back. “I’m not scared of her.”
Tina lifted an eyebrow. “Then why won’t you call her?”
“You brought the roast,” he said.
She met his gaze and lifted her chin. “I’m Princess Valentina. I suppose I can face down anyone or anything, heaven help me,” she added and punched in Hildie’s cell number.
An hour later, after a quick trip to the corner market, Zach and Tina were enjoying barbecued beef sandwiches.
“Hildie is a genius,” Tina said. “I never would have thought of barbecue sandwiches.”
“That’s because you’re not from Texas,” he said, downing his second sandwich.
“But you’ve got to admit it was inventive to turn dried-out pot roast into juicy beef barbecue,” she said.
He nodded. “Hildie is first-rate,” he said.
“You wouldn’t want to try to replace her,” Tina said.
“Hell no. I’ve had neighbors try to steal her away,” he said.
“How did you manage to keep her?” she asked.
“Good retirement, health care and dental program,” he said. “Plus, I drive her to all her dental appointments because as I said before, dentists scare the hell out of her.”
“Hmm,” Tina said with a nod as she nibbled on her sandwich. “So, it would take a lot for you to fire her,” she concluded.
“Fire her,” he echoed and shook his head. “The only way I would fire Hildie is if she was stealing from me and that would never happen.”
“So, you wouldn’t have fired her for driving me to Dallas. You accepted my trade of her employment for my staying here because you wouldn’t have fired her anyway,” she said.
Zach’s last bit of BBQ hung midway in his throat. He coughed and swallowed hard, not liking the look on Tina’s face. But he took the ruthless choice. “I accepted your trade because I would do anything to keep you here. Anything,” he said.
�
�Why?”
“Because you and our baby are very important to me,” he said.
Tina set down her sandwich. “I wouldn’t wish our baby away,” she said. “But I wonder if I would be anywhere near as important if I weren’t pregnant.”
Zach’s gut twisted at the expression on her face. “You can’t really ask that because everything would be different,” he said. “But if you want the cleanest, most honest reaction, go back to that first night we had together. That will tell you the truth.” He set down his second sandwich and covered her hands with his. She felt so soft and vulnerable, yet at the same time, strong. “I wanted you. You wanted me. We both tried to take the right road and that road still led us to each other.”
She took a quick audible breath. “Maybe,” she finally said.
He shook his head. “Not maybe. Definitely.”
That night after a long hot shower, Tina joined Zach in his bed. She fought a sliver of nervousness and smoothed her fingers over her cotton nightgown.
Already showered, he glanced up at her from the newspaper spread over the comforter. His dark hair was just starting to dry and his laser blue eyes were hooded by his thick black eyelashes. He looked like a dark panther waiting to pounce.
“I think I want some water,” she said and made a U-turn for the kitchen. Tina wondered if this was a good idea. Did she really want to get so close to Zach again? Of course she did. Did she really want to make herself vulnerable? She bit the inside of her lip. That answer wasn’t so easy.
She stared at the tall glass of water and took a sip.
Strong arms wrapped around her. “You’re okay,” he said. “It’s not like I can get you knocked up again.”
She couldn’t resist the laugh that bubbled all the way from her uterus. Tina was pretty sure the baby was laughing too. “Oh my goodness,” she said, turning in his arms. “You’re such a smooth talker. How can I possibly resist?”
His mouth lifted in a crooked, sexy half grin. “That’s what I was counting on,” he said and lifted her up in his arms.