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Tacitus was stacking firewood outside of his house when he heard a scream coming from the area of his brother's home across the village. He immediately dropped everything and ran, closing the distance between his and Severus' houses in record time. When he arrived, he found a panicked Severus and a weeping Nona.
"What's happened?"
"Aelia!!" Severus shouted. "She's missing!!"
"What? Are you sure?" Tacitus looked at his brother.
"We can't find her," his face was stark white and it was the first time that Tacitus had ever seen such a reaction in him.
"I'm-I'm sure she's here, just playing in the woods somewhere and has gotten sidetracked about the time-"
"She is not allowed to go into the woods alone." As the other villagers began to gather around, Severus shouted to them, "Has anyone seen my daughter?"
They shook their heads, asking one another about who had seen her last and where she might have gone.
"Please," Nona tried to speak through her sobs, "please, Tacitus, the night... it’s coming. The goblins in the forest, they will get her!"
His voice soothing, he tried to calm her, "Don't fear, Nona. The goblins are a myth - I'm sure she was just playing and got a little carried away, that's all."
Severus swallowed, "We'll go now and look-"
Nona turned to Severus, "I'm going with you-"
He shook his head, adamantly, "No, Marcus needs you here. You must stay for him while Tacitus and I go look for her. Tacitus," he commanded his brother, "grab your horse and join me. Cinna, Lucius, will you search in the Eastern part of the forest? Caius and Tertius, will you take the West? And Decimus, the North?" Severus looked at his brother, "Meanwhile, we will search the South."
A few moments later, after the men were dispersed to their designated regions, Severus said goodbye to his wife. He and Tacitus, who was leading Bellona behind him, made their way through the Aulus Forest, each shouting Aelia's name as they did.
"Where would she have gone?" Tacitus asked.
"I don't know, she's rarely away from me or Nona."
"Did she say anything earlier?"
"No," he shook his head, his face a grave mask but his eyes full of terror.
It was the first time Tacitus had ever seen his brother show any sign of nervousness or fear and it worried him quite deeply.
Severus looked up through the canopy of trees above, "We must hurry. The sun is setting and it's going to be a chilled night."
"Don't worry," he placed a comforting hand on Severus' shoulder. "We will find her Brother. Here, take some of this, you're too tense right now and this will calm you down," Tacitus then handed Severus a bladder of his strongest Two-Crows Ale that he had hung from his neck.
"I'd rather not. I need my wits-"
"Brother, it's your wits that are making you so tense."
Severus stared at the flask in Tacitus' hands, then took it and downed a large mouthful. He wiped his chin, "Thank you, Brother."
He tried to give it back but Tacitus shook his head, "You keep that for now."
"It's strong."
"I experimented with a new recipe in order to help calm people that I sometimes must treat by cutting."
Severus took another large gulp and a pinkish glow already began to form in his cheek, "It's good."
"I'm glad. Now, let us go find Aelia."
They scoured the forest floor over the next half hour, looking for the minutest clue that might lead to the child's whereabouts but finding nothing nearby after awhile, they eventually decided to rest a moment beneath a large tree.
During the search, Severus had continued to nurse the ale and had nearly drank all of it by the time the sun had begun to slip further down in the sky. "It will be night soon," he slurred slightly.
"I know," Tacitus nodded, "but we'll find her. Don't give up hope."
Severus shook his head, feeling slightly dizzy as he did, "We have to find her, Tacitus. I can't... my life... I-"
"Don't speak, Brother, you're drunk."
"I am," he nodded. "I really am. Where could she be?" He clumsily attempted to draw his sword from a sitting position, "I will ki...kill anyone that harms her!"
"Calm down, Brother. We don't know anything yet. There is no reason to get angry and who knows, maybe the others have already found her or she went home on her own."
Severus took another draught from the bladder, "I should've paid more attention to her today, but I was in a bad humor and wanted no one else around me."
"Why so?"
"Today... is the anniversary of our father's death."
Tacitus shoulders sagged as they could hear Bellona munching on tufts of grass nearby, "It is, isn't it."
They sat in silence for a moment, both of their thoughts torn between Aelia and their father.
Severus broke the silence, his voice sharp, "If you'd gone along with us that day, he may have lived."
The statement stung Tacitus slightly but he attributed it to his brother's current state, "Maybe but neither of us have ever had much time for 'what-ifs'."
Severus laughed derisively as he took another mouthful, "What ifs... I think about the 'what ifs' alla'time. I just can't do a damned thing about them."
Tacitus grew nervous at his brother's harsher tones and was beginning to regret that he had ever passed him the ale bladder in the first place.
"For instance," Severus continued, his eyes growing bleary in the dwindling light, "What if-what if you had gone with us up against that Giant like you should've that night?"
Tacitus narrowed his eyes but said nothing.
"Or, even the night that Otho attacked? What if? What if you'd had a sword?"
Tacitus stomach churned with dread at the mention of the thief’s name.
Severus kept talking, "What if you had gone with us?"
Tacitus stared out at the trees as he answered, "My wife and my daughter would still be dead."
The statement temporary stunned his older brother, "Aye, this is true." He took another drink. "I'm sorry."
"Perhaps you should give that back to me, Severus. I only meant for you to have a little-"
He laughed louder, "Really? You would take something from me, Tacitus the Cauda?"
Tacitus face paled, then flushed, "That is... uncalled for, Brother... and needlessly cruel."
"Cauda," he shoved Tacitus in the chest. "It is not cruel. That is what you are. Father should have been more cruel with you."
"Severus," Tacitus warned his older brother, "you are going too far with your words."
"Am I, Cauda?" he shoved Tacitus again, this time harder. As his brother fell back, Severus sat up on his knees, his face flushing a bright crimson. He was angry and Tacitus wasn't entirely convinced it was only from the ale as he roared, "Maybe I haven't gone far enough with you! Maybe that has always been the problem!"
Tacitus stayed frozen in place, "Go ahead then, Brother. Say the things that must be said."
"Fine!" Severus pointed at himself as he shouted, "I stood in the Purification circle that night and took the lashes that should've been yours! I bore your shame! Me! I have the marks of your cowardice upon my back! And-and how did you thank me?" He sat back on his ankles and gave a defeated sigh, "By kissing my wife..."
Tacitus eyes opened wide with the revelation.
"Yes, I witnessed it! Of course I saw it..."
"Severus, I-"
Severus vainly attempted to punch Tacitus in the face but his swipe didn't connect and the overwrought drunken warrior fell forward, his face to the ground. He didn't stay down long, though, as he then raised his head and reached out to grab Tacitus by the legs, pulling himself up the rest of the way. The brothers then began to wrestle atop the leaf litter and over the next while as they rolled, grabbed and punched at one another, two decades of pent up bitterness between the two spilled out on the forest floor.
As Severus started showing signs of being short of breath, he felt a twinge in his back and releas
ed Tacitus, immediately, crying out, "I can't do it anymore, Brother, I can't... I can't fight you."
Tacitus, whose own breath was also coming in large gasps, reclined on his hands, "Me... neither. I yield."
Severus started to chuckle.
Tacitus, seeing his much-vaunted older brother flailing around like a turtle stuck upon its back, began to laugh as well.
"I'm old, Tacitus!" Severus shouted up to the evening sky above him. "I'm an old man! And now my back hurts..."
Tacitus shook his head, "No, not old, just... out of practice!"
He laughed even harder and covered his face with his hands, "I'm so sorry, Tacitus, gods, I'm so sorry. I meant nothing I said tonight, I'm just-"
"You're afraid," Tacitus said, his breath beginning to return to its normal rhythm. "You're afraid and you're not used to it, so it's making you angry."
He eyed his younger brother, "I don't give you enough credit. You are a thoughtful man, Tacitus, and there is no shame in that."
Tacitus stood, groaning as he did, and held out his forearm.
Severus took it, smiling, "I'm sorry-"
"No, don't apologize. I am a Cauda and," he looked away for a moment, then back, "and... I'm sorry for Nona."
"No, Tacitus. I know it is not an ideal situation between the two of you and... I'm sorry for that. If things could be different-"
He shook his head, "But they are not. For now, let us concentrate on more important thi- wait!"
"What?"
Tacitus spotted an object in the stirred up debris in front of them and ran towards it. He scooped it up, "Aelia's shoe!"
"Gods, that must mean she's nearby! Please, let her be nearby!"
They called out her name again and as they did, they began to feel tiny cold drops falling upon their faces.
"Not rain, not now! Gods, show us some mercy!" Severus spoke to the heavens.
"Aelia! If you're there, please come out! No one will be angry with you! I promise!"
The light mist falling on them was soon changed into heavy raindrops.
"Nonono, gods, no," Severus soon became frantic as he continuously flipped over stones and fallen trees like a man possessed. "What if she's gone down to the river?"
"Don't think such things, Brother, we'll find her! Aeliaaaaa!"
Thunder clapped overhead and lightning lit up the blackened sky and Tacitus anger at the gods increased. The brothers continued their search as the weather worsened, going deeper and deeper into the forest, until at last Tacitus spotted an ashen white foot sticking out from the inside of a hollowed out log. "Oh gods, Severus! I think I've found her!"
The brothers ran to a small pale bundle glowing in the moonlight and found the little girl curled up half-inside the trunk of a large oak.
"Aelia?" Tacitus retrieved the shivering bundle and cradled it in his arms.
"Uncle?" she said, her voice so very weak and tiny.
"Yes, I am here and so is your father."
"Tacitus, give her to me!"
He put Aelia into the arms his brother.
"Father, I'm cold and my body hurts," she started to cough
"Oh my dear girl," he held her to his cheek, her skin freezing against his own, "you're alright now. Don't talk, we need to get you home."
"I'm sorry I ran away. Mother was mad at me for being in the Order-"
"Don't talk, Aelia, please."
"I'm tired."
"Then rest for now and we'll be back in the village in a moment."
Tacitus face was marred with concern, "We need to get her back now, changed and in front of a fire. Take my horse and ride back to the village, Severus."
"But that will leave you here alone-"
"I will be fine. You know I don't believe there are truly goblins in this forest and I will be right behind you."
Severus stared at his brother a moment longer, "Thank you, Tacitus. You can never know the debt I owe you!" Then, holding Aelia tightly in one arm, he pulled himself atop of Bellona and, without further hesitation, took off for the village.
As he watched them ride away, Tacitus whispered, "Yes. Yes, I can, my Brother."
A Sword Of Wrath, Book I: Blood And Dust Page 18