by Lara Wynter
According to my phone, it’s been well over an hour since he left. If I wasn’t looking after Sophie, I’d just go down the hall and see what’s going on. Maybe if I send Finn a text he’ll respond? I quickly type a message and hit send.
“What’s wrong, Autumn?” Sophie asks.
“Oh, nothing. Just wondering when the guys will be back so we can head to the pool. This swimsuit is starting to get uncomfortable.”
“Yeah, I know the feeling. Are you sure we can’t just go without them?”
“No, I promised your brother we’d wait for them.”
“What are they doing anyway?”
I shift on the couch not liking where this discussion is heading. “I’m not sure, just band drama I guess.”
“This movie bites.”
“Want to watch something else?”
“Nah, I think I’ll just finish my book.”
“Alright.” I sigh with relief as Sophie heads to her room to read.
As soon as she’s gone, the door opens and Wes comes in followed closely by Finn. They both look tense. Wes sits on the couch across from me and although Finn sits beside me his body seems tight, like a coiled spring ready to explode at any minute.
“What is it? What’s happened?”
“Where’s Soph?” Wes asks.
“In her room finishing her book.”
“Good, Finn you’d better fill her in, I’ll go check on Soph, let her know what’s happening. Well the edited child-friendly version anyway.”
I look at Finn and he doesn’t hesitate to return my gaze. His eyes are shadowed. “I hope you don’t plan on giving me the edited version.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Finn’s mouth lifts slightly in the corner then returns to it’s grim line. “About a year ago, I received a letter from an obsessed fan. Over the following months, I received seven more, each time more demanding in tone. After a while though the letters stopped and I thought it was all over.”
“You got a new one today, didn’t you?”
“Yeah it was on my bed. The same as the one in Cleveland.”
“What! You didn’t tell me anything about that.”
“I’m sorry, but I didn’t want to panic anyone unless there was a reason to.” Finn reaches out and takes my hand. The contact is reassuring although the thought of some crazed fan wanting to hurt him is terrifying.
“What did the letters say?” I ask quietly, not sure I want to know.
Instead of answering, Finn pulls out his phone and hands it to me. It’s a photo of the letter. I’m scared to read it, but I need to know.
Dear Finnley,
I know I went away for a while, but it couldn’t be helped. Did you miss me? I missed you. The way your hair hangs in front of your eye while you’re singing is enough to drive me wilder. I know if we could be together even once, you would never forget me and you would never leave me.
Soon our time is coming. Soon we can be together forever. I hope you are dreaming of that day the way I am. I like the view from your room. It is nearly as nice as your apartment. I don’t know why you don’t want to live there anymore.
When we are finally together, none of that will matter. Time and such things will cease to exist. We are who we were meant to be and you are forever mine.
Eternally yours,
Taylor
My stomach clenches and I feel like I might be sick. How did she even get into his hotel room? And has she really been inside his apartment? What about his house? I feel sickened at the thought that someone so clearly unstable could gain access to Finn so easily.
“What did the police say? How are they going to catch her?”
“They’ve taken the letters for forensic testing, and they’re checking all the hotel security footage. I’ve told them about the previous investigation, so they’re going to check that all out too.”
“Oh Finn, are you alright?”
“Yeah, it’s you and Soph I’m worried about.”
“But the letters don’t mention anything about either of us, do they?”
“No.” The fear in Finn’s eyes is palpable. “But what if she finds out about us? If she knows I’m in love with you, she might come after you and that is just a risk I’m not willing to take.”
“What? What do you mean? Are you saying we can’t be together?”
“No, I could no sooner give you up than I could breathing. But I need you to be safe. I’d send you and Sophie home if I thought that would keep you safe. But she knows where I live and probably Wes as well. All I’m saying is we have to keep this to ourselves.”
“Well, I wasn’t planning on shouting about it from the hotel rooftop.”
Finn chuckles and pulls me against his body. “I like the sound of that. But maybe we’ll save that idea until the threat is over.”
I pull back. “Should we be doing this now then? What if someone sees?”
Finn pulls me back against him. “Hush now. There are two security guards at the door and a police officer as well. I need to feel you close to me right now. It’s all that’s keeping me going.”
“What about tonight’s concert? Are you going to cancel?”
“No. There’s no direct threat against anybody, we’re still going to go ahead as planned. We’ll just have some extra security that’s all. You and Sophie will be perfectly safe.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about.” I mumble into Finn’s chest, making the most of this while I can. Even the threat of a crazy stalker can’t entirely diminish the feeling I get from being snuggled against Finn. I can hear his heart beating and I want to do anything I can to keep this man safe.
Chapter 24
Finn
The venue is packed. There’s at least a dozen security guards out there as well as another lot backstage. Autumn and Sophie have been given four guards to watch them everywhere they go. Sophie thinks the whole thing is crazy. She doesn’t really get how serious this is. Wes would have a dozen guards watching her if he had his way. I told him to take her home, but he won’t. I’m not sure how tonight’s show is going to go. At least Ryan and Zane are taking it all in stride. They’ve even promised to do their part to keep an eye on the girls.
I’m doing my best to avoid looking over at Autumn just in case anyone is watching. From now on, if we’re out in public she’s just Sophie’s chaperone. There’s no way I’m going to put her in harm’s way. I need to focus. I’m about to go onstage, and for the first time ever, my mind’s a blank. Crap, how can I go on like this?
I elbow Wes. “Hey, what’s the first song?”
“Make You Love Me. Are you alright?”
“Not really. Can you sing tonight if I get stuck?”
“Of course, don’t worry about it. They’re going to catch this person and everything will be fine.”
“You really believe that?”
“Would I be here with Soph if I didn’t?”
“Good point.” I take a deep breath and close my eyes. God, if you’re out there, please take care of Autumn and Sophie. I’ve never asked for much, but please just this one time, I need to know they’ll be fine. I open my eyes and a sense of calm fills me. I’m not sure why, but the feeling of dread has lifted. The lights dim and I walk out on stage.
I open my mouth to sing and the words come back to me. I can hear Wes singing backup, making sure I don’t crash and burn. I don’t let my eyes wander, but I keep part of my attention fixed on my peripheral vision, making sure Autumn is right there by the stage. I’ve made her promise not to go off on any toilet breaks, even if she desperately needs to. She actually giggled and turned bright red when I made the request, but no way can I focus on my job if she disappears tonight.
This isn’t going to go down as my best performance. My heart’s not really in it. I look out into the crowd, wondering if psycho chick is out there somewhere. Well, she’s never going to get into my room again. We’ve left three security guys on our floor and the security footage is being watched live as well. Eve
ry possible avenue has been covered. She can go back to wherever the hell she came from.
My eyes wander back and forth over the crowd. It all looks normal, but the press of bodies seems more ominous somehow. I’ve never been more grateful for the safety barrier that’s between me and the audience. Every single person out there is a possible suspect in my eyes and it sucks the joy right out of my performance. I forgo the usual banter with the crowd as the songs pass by in a blur.
It’s a relief to finish the encore and take a final bow. Simon takes my guitar and hands me an oversize hoodie. I pull it on as I head straight over to where the girls are standing. Wes is right behind me and we follow the security guys down the backstage corridors and straight out the back door. I pull the hood over my head to hide my face. It’s too soon to expect anyone to be out here yet, but I’m taking no chances.
The dimly lit road is empty except for our waiting van. Wes and Sophie take the first row of seats and I follow Autumn into the back. Relief washes over me as the van pulls away. Autumn looks pale, but she still smiles at me. I’m relieved I can finally take her hand, I lift it to my mouth and kiss the soft skin.
“How are you?”
Autumn shrugs. “I’m fine. I was a bit nervous someone would be waiting outside, but I’m fine now. How are you doing? You’re the one who has the crazy stalker.”
I chuckle. “I never told you, that when I saw you at all our concerts, I thought you might be a crazed fan.”
Her mouth forms a surprised ‘o’. “Really? I can’t believe you actually noticed me.”
“How could I not? Those sexy dresses you used to wear and the way you can dance. How could I not notice?” I grin. “I hope you still have some of those outfits, especially that red one.”
She slaps my leg playfully. “Don’t count on it. I’ve moved on since then. I’m not that girl anymore.” Her forehead crinkles adorably. “Would you really want me to dress like that in public?”
“No, my love, not in public.” I delight in watching her cheeks flush. She’s so beautiful and somehow she has no idea. It wouldn’t really matter what she wore, but it’s fun to tease her.
“Are we going straight to the hotel?”
“Yeah, we’ll order some room service.”
“Alone or with Wes and Sophie?”
“As much as I’d love to have you alone in my room, I don’t think that’s wise.”
Her mouth turns down at the corners. “I know I’m not really that experienced…but I…I want to be with you, Finn.”
I place one hand against her cheek and look straight into her beautiful hazel eyes. “I think I need to make something clear here. I am in love with you Autumn. You and no one else. I haven’t done a lot right in my life but this, this is something I can do right.” I gently kiss her lips. “I want this to work, so I’m going to do this properly. I never thought I’d want to get married, do the whole family thing. Not after my own messed up childhood, but then something unexpected happened. I met you and my life has irrevocably changed forever. You bring out the best in me Autumn and I want to prove that I can be the kind of man you need. The kind of man you deserve.”
Autumn
My heart is going crazy in my chest. Did Finn really just mention us getting married? I know he didn’t actually propose, but he made it seem like he might. Wow, just wow. I know if he asks me to marry him one day, my answer will be yes. To be with Finn forever… I feel like I can find a way to live life in the spotlight. For him, I would attempt to climb the highest mountain, and not just because of who he is. What I felt, or thought I felt for Finn before I knew him, pales into insignificance compared to what I feel now. He is so caring and loving. Even when he doesn’t get it right, the fact that he tries to do what’s best for me staggers me. Finally, I have someone in my life who actually wants me to have what I need. Nothing on this earth could make me regret loving this beautifully complex man.
“Thank, you. Finn, just know that I will follow you to the ends of this earth to be with you. I love you.”
He moves closer, and gently brings his lips down to cover my own. The kiss is sweet and gentle, but underneath I can feel his restraint. I can feel his longing, just below the surface. It sends a shiver through my whole body. He kisses my jaw all the way to my ear and then he gently kisses my forehead and last the tip of my nose. I giggle, and I can’t believe I’m actually capable of such a sound. I thought the carefree girl within had died a long time ago.
Chapter 25
Finn
Zane and Ryan make it back to the hotel suite just as the food arrives. The mood is fairly lighthearted considering what’s going on, and even Trent’s arrival can’t dampen things too much.
Ryan takes the open seat beside me at the table. “Great show man. The fans backstage hardly missed you at all.”
Zane chuckles. “Yeah, seems like the new kids have made an impression. You old guys better watch out.”
I laugh. At twenty-two, I’m only a few months older than Ryan, and Zane is actually older than I am, but I know that’s not what he means. “You guys have certainly made us lift our game. Sorry if I was a bit off tonight.”
Ryan grins. “Are you kidding? Even on a bad night you’re insane Finn. You and Wes are like nothing else. It’s like the music runs through your veins.”
“I couldn’t have said it better,” Wes agrees. “Without the music, I don’t think either of us would be here right now.”
I stop chewing and put my fork down on the table. Even though the food is delicious, I’ve just had an idea for a new song. “Uh, hey can I use your guitar for a bit Wes?”
“Sure, I’m not going to stand in the way of our next hit song.”
“Sorry guys, I’ll be back in a bit.” I turn to face Autumn beside me. “Do you mind?”
“Not a bit, it would break my heart if you didn’t get the song written on my account.”
Quickly pushing up from my chair, I place a quick kiss on Autumn’s head.
Trent clears his throat. “Um, Finn, I need to talk about the plan for the next venue.”
“Just explain it to Wes, he can fill me in later.”
“Look, Finn, I know the music is important, but I think your safety takes precedence here.”
“No, Trent, the music comes first. Your plan will go ahead with or without me spending the next hour discussing it.” Without waiting for a response, I walk out of the room. I know I’m being rude, but when an idea for a song comes in a flash like this, it’s like I’m possessed. I can’t think or do anything else until I get it down.
Like me, Wes, always keeps an old guitar in his room. He doesn’t write as many songs as I do, but he often polishes and adds to my ideas until they sound perfect. Picking up a piece of hotel stationary, I scribble down the words in my head. Setting the words beside me, I pick up the worn acoustic guitar, and quickly tune it. My fingers move over the strings as I pick out the melody in my head.
Singing softly, I let the song take shape. It grows and intensifies until I’m filled from within. The music flows out of me, and it’s her face I see in my mind as I sing. I imagine her with me, our life together. I see a house by the ocean. We walk along the sand, a golden haired little girl between us with hazel eyes. My eyes close as the song comes to an end.
“It’s beautiful, Finn.”
I start, as if she can somehow see into my mind. But of course, she’s talking about the music. “Thank you. Have you been standing there long?”
“A while. I didn’t want to interrupt you though.”
“Sorry for abandoning you.” I pat the bed beside me. “If you sit down, I’ll play it for you properly.”
She walks towards me and sits on the bed. “Please, I could listen to you sing all day, and I’d still want more.”
I chuckle. “As much as I’d love to fulfil your every wish, I’m not sure that’s one I can accommodate, my love.”
“Just shush and sing already,” Autumn replies in a teasing voice.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Stop that, you’re ruining it for me.”
Enough teasing, I play the opening chords and sing.
The music is in my veins
It’s in my blood, in my blood
Right from the start it was all I had
But now I know there is more to life
More to life than this
Cos’ the music’s in my blood
But you’re in my heart
You fill my heart and soul
And now I’m complete
I’ve found you and I’m not running anymore
Halfway through the song the rest of the band and Sophie come in and listen for a while before joining in. Zane taps out a beat against the wall and Ryan slaps his thighs with the rhythm. When we get back to the chorus, Wes and Sophie join in the singing. It’s loud and fun, rather than polished and perfect, and it’s a beautiful thing. Best of all is the smile that fills Autumn’s face. She claps along in time and I can’t help grinning as I sing.
I just keep the song going and before long everyone is singing, Autumn isn’t loud enough for me to pick out her voice, but I’m thrilled she’s joined in, even though I know she doesn’t think she can sing.
Autumn
The last week has been a blur of hotel rooms and shows. No one seems to have caught on to the fact that the four of us have been leaving straight after the show. With Wes and Finn being keen to keep us with them at all times, we’ve been able to stay for the whole show and I’ve loved every minute of it. But tonight is different, Finn and Wes both have to go to the meet and greet backstage after the show finishes. It means Sophie and I will be leaving to go back to the hotel before the encore.
I can tell the guys aren’t particularly happy with the arrangement, but really, what could go wrong? We’ll have our usual four security guys, as well as the three back at the hotel. Finn finishes up the last song before the encore and rushes over to me. His eyes look worried. A frown mars his beautiful forehead.