He looked so sad and disappointed that I sighed. “It was the day I saved Wolf.”
“But I gave you a thrashing on that day that I shouldn't have given you in your condition.”
“You did a lot of talking while you were hitting and you said how worried you were that you would lose me and things like that. Then you held me and rocked me. You laid your arm around me and joked about Wolf and I realized that you really wanted what was best for me more than what you wanted for you.” I shrugged my shoulders, hoping that I explained it right.
He laid a hand on each side of my face and then he kissed me. I pushed him away and raised an eyebrow. “When did you know that you loved me?”
The smile I got for pushing him away was huge. “At first I thought you were suicidal, the way you were reading but then I figured that you had just moved to the area or something. When you stood up in and greeted me in perfect English I was impressed and you were trying so hard and your sense of wrong and right. I have never had anyone grab on while I was spanking. I really liked you before that and you were constantly in my thoughts, but when I spanked you and you confessed that you had never been spanked before – the idea of another man laying a hand on you was driving me crazy. Just I spank you, and just I make love to you.” He hugged me again and laid my head on his chest.
“Tata, I'm really good, don't you think?”
He carefully made a noise agreeing with me.
“Why don't we agree that I never need another one as long as we live?”
His chest started shaking. “I really like that you think about us in the long term but I can't promise that. The last time was because you were impulsive and put yourself in danger. I would spank you again if you ever did something like that. I know you don't talk back or lie to me. You are really very good, angel, but when it comes to helping someone else you don't stop and think. I hope you have learned your lesson but I somehow doubt it. You are a die-hard helper of any underdog. I love you the way you are. Alive.”
“Tata,” I whined. I had kind of figured out that it meant something like Papa or Daddy. He wanted to take care of me and I obviously needed to be taken care of.
“I love you enough to spank you. I care how you act. You are lucky to have me as your husband.” He sounded very sure of himself.
I pushed him away again. “I knew I shouldn't have told you that I love you. Now you are thick headed about it and you are going to take me for granted.”
He sat up straight. “Never. I am so thankful to have you. After almost losing you, and that was entirely my fault – It was my fault that we lost our child. I should have stayed. I would have noticed when your period didn't come. I would have noticed that you were starving and slaving away without enough sleep. I never should have left you. You needed me.”
“Tata, are you going to leave again?” I looked in his eyes. My life was definitely better with him here with me. I bit my lip while I waited for an answer.
“I'm so sorry, but yes. I will be leaving in about two weeks.”
I burst out in tears and clung to him.
“My mother has promised to take the best care of you. I know she will this time. They all love you now. You are so special to all of us. No one is going to hurt you. You just have to stay here and be good. Promise me you will.”
“Yes, Tata,” I sobbed.
“Tata will hurry up and earn lots of money so we can take off. You want that right? You want us to start our new happy life together, right?”
“I don't want to be apart from you.” I sounded like a little girl, as I bared my soul to him.
“Angel, I don't want to be apart from you either. I hate that. I need you this close to me.” I was still on his lap and he was hugging me. Then he kissed me and sucked on my nipples, lifting my breasts closer to him. He rubbed me in between my legs and I moaned out.
“I want to try a new position. Raise up on your knees.”
I did and he took hold of his penis. “Lower yourself down. You can control how you need it. If it hurts say so and we will stop, right away. Your Tata can be very patient with you.”
I slowly lowered myself and it was a strange feeling at first. Not so much pain, as I just wasn't used to it anymore.
He took hold of my hips and moved me up and down on him. I was holding onto his shoulders, wishing I were stronger. He let go for a second and I moved on without his help. “Good girl, Sandra.” I moved faster, wanting him more but then I had to slow down. I felt like crying because I didn't have the strength to do this better and I really needed him.
“Don't cry, angel. Tata is going to flip you over now. Hold on tight.” He laid me on my back and took over. I was moaning in pleasure and whispering Tata, again and again. He smiled at me and held my hand and sucked on my nipples, giving me the feeling that I was the most beautiful girl in the whole world.
A feeling was building inside of me and it was the best and worst feeling I had ever had. It was building and I wanted to reach it and call it mine, but I feared that I wouldn't.
He was watching me closely and I was starting to feel embarrassed but then I didn't care and then I did again. I was so confused.
“Breathe, angel, keep on breathing. Nice deep breaths.”
I was moaning louder than before and I was afraid that someone would hear me. My legs were shaking and I was squeezing his hand as he held mine and my other hand was moving from his shoulder to the pillow under my head and holding it tight too.
“Concentrate.”
I concentrated on the feeling that he was giving me. An explosion washed over me. “Tata,” I screamed.
“That's right. Good girl.” He took a short break and then he started in again and I was screaming out his name. He looked so pleased and then he came too.
Tata rolled us so we were side by side but he still had me in his arms, holding me tight. He kissed my shoulder in a very relaxed way.
“I am so pleased that you were finally able to enjoy our love-making.”
“Does it feel that way for you too?”
“Of course it does. It is so wonderful and special with you.” He was smiling at me like he was really pleased with himself.
“But – with the others?”
“That's my job. There is no love there and they are interchangeable. You aren't. They come and go. You don't. When this is over I will be completely faithful to you. I'm really looking forward to that.”
“Me too.”
Chapter 12
Kelly looked mad when we finally showed up hand in hand and smiling at each other. Maria stepped forward and asked if I could serve the food because they had so much to do today. Tata reluctantly said yes.
I served the food and once again new boys were here. They were French and the way they were looking at me made me think that they wouldn't hate their new jobs, but most would be bought by men. The exact going ons about what happened here, and after anyone was sold, was too much for me to think about, so I tried really hard not to. I didn't want to envision Tata going to those girls and sleeping with them, then him selling them.
I was serving soup again. That meant breadbaskets and crumbs. While I cleaned up the tables the boys tried to talk to me in French. I shook my head no at them and they laughed at me. They didn't know why they were here or that they were trapped here yet. They were a small group of musicians. I wondered what they thought about their cells being taken away. As far as I knew I had the only functioning computer here, but if they were selling people over the Internet than their had to be at least one more.
One of the boys grabbed onto my hand. I pulled it away and looked over at Tata who was coming over fast. He grabbed the boy by the ear and pulled him out of the room. The others turned to me in their shock, asking me what was happening to their friend. My French wasn't good enough to answer anything like that.
Kelly came over and sat down among the boys and spoke with them. They all smiled at her. I backed away and just let them flirt.
I got the next pot of soup out a
nd set everything up. I heard a scream. Everyone turned their head to look. Well, not Kelly or anyone else from the family. They kept doing what they were doing like nothing had happened.
Maria caught my eye and looked down at the pot in front of me. I went back to work and the next group was coming in. The boys were looking at the girls and then back to Kelly. This was the group of virgins. How I knew, I wasn't sure, but I was getting a feel for it.
I gave them their soup and instructed them to go to a table far away from the boys. A couple of the girls were crying.
Tata came back and laid a cane down on the table. The girls were all watching him scared. They didn't know what he could all do but I'll bet their instincts were warning them.
He was putting on a show. With me he was different. I hoped that this was the show and not the time spent with me. He could easily be pretending with me. Kelly had thought something that wasn't true too. I felt really sad again as I refilled the breadbaskets.
“Have you eaten yet?” Tata was suddenly standing behind me.
I jumped a little and admitted that I hadn't yet. He gave me an odd look and took the empty breadbaskets from me. He pointed to his mother and then to me. Maria hurried off to get me a bowl and a couple of pieces of bread. She set it down on our table.
Tata was still eyeing me as I went off. He walked around and looked at everyone, keeping order.
I ate quickly and went to get the next warm pot. Tata was escorting the boys out.
Thomas went over to the girls. They all moved away from him. He they had obviously met before. He told them to go back to their rooms and that a nap might be a good idea before supper. Six women walked them out. Each had a cane in her hands.
The next group of girls arrived. The non-virgins mixed in with the ones that had been here already.
Maria shook her head as she looked at one of the girls. She was one of the older ones here. Something must have happened.
The boys that hadn't been easy to sell came in too. The girl that Maria was mad at stood and looked over at the boys as they went through my line. “The doctor said that I'm pregnant.”
“But – what are you going to do about it?” a redheaded boy answered.
Tata came over and grabbed the boy and took him out. I wasn't sure what to think. Did he get rid of him because of me, or was he going to punish him. He came back three minutes later and called the girl out. She got up and went to him. I could see her shaking from where I was.
Tata caught my eye and smiled at me before he left. I went over to Maria and asked her what he was going to do.
She didn't know but she looked worried too. I tried really hard to figure out a solution for everyone. There wasn't one in this situation. If we let them go they would tell where everyone was. They would arrest Tata and throw him in jail. They might think that I was in on this from the beginning or they might treat me for Stockholm syndrome. That was also something that I worried about. Was I really in love with him?
Yes, I was. I understood why he had done the things that he had. With his upbringing and his job he needed to be tough. When we were alone he wasn't a tough guy. He was a guy who would get up in the middle of the night to get me something to drink and to picked up my bunny off the cold floor if she fell out. He didn't want my feet on the cold floor.
When everyone was gone I wiped off the tables and helped put the champagne glasses on the tray. I also put caviar on tiny crackers with a tiny piece of cold salmon on it.
Tata came in and wrapped an arm around me while I carefully worked. “Have you ever had caviar before?”
“Yes, I love it. But only this kind.” We had the orange kind that I loved.
“My spoiled little angel, where did you eat something like this?”
“My Country club back home in Vermont. I play golf, sometimes with my mom but usually with my grandma, Judy.” I smiled at him and his head fell back laughing.
“There you are Daniel. I've been looking for you.” Kelly strolled into the room and walked right up to us.
Tata turned to her and smiled at her but not like he had smiled at me. “What can I do for you, Kelly?”
“I have decided which ones I want.” She listed off several of the girls. I was surprised that she wanted so many. She wanted the pregnant girl. I looked at Tata. I wanted to talk to him in private about that before any decisions were made. She also wanted two of the guys but not the one that was the father.
“Okay Kelly, we can talk about that at supper. I have to do some arranging for our guests that will be arriving soon. Sandra, go up to our room now and stay there.”
I nodded and left them. I hurried up to our room only pausing to look out in the courtyard. The French guys were out there and the one who had hit on me was crying and his back was whipped.
Maybe I shouldn't be taking so many liberties with Tata. I heard a helicopter and hurried back to our room. They would be having a lot of stress right about now. Tata would greet his guests and then show up and change.
The last time they had an auction I lost the baby. I started to cry and I just couldn't stop anymore.
“Sandra, what's wrong? Did someone hurt you?” Tata was sitting on the bed next to me and turning me over. I moved Carrots so she was covering my face.
“Sandra, tell me what happened.”
“I lost the baby,” I cried.
“But angel, you can't know that. We only made love a few hours ago.”
I peeked around Carrots and looked at him. “What?”
He sighed and looked at me confused too. “Why are you crying, angel?”
“The last time we had an auction I lost the baby the next morning.”
He reached under my arms and pulled me to him. “I knew something was wrong with you today. You had a sad look in your eyes look every once in a while. Now I understand.” He was rocking me on his lap again. I needed that.
“Should I stay with you tonight. Thomas can do the auction.”
“Can he?”
“Well, I'm sure he could, given half a chance.”
“You're the better speaker. You go. I'll watch a movie tonight.”
“I brought you a tray full of food. Look a plate full of the caviar you like.”
“But Tata it is so expensive. You can't be wasting that on me.”
His forehead wrinkled up. “I beg your pardon. Do I need to spank you?”
“No, I just meant that I wouldn't be dropping a million dollars here tonight.” I really wasn't looking for a fight.
“Sandra, you are worth it for me. You can have all the caviar you want.” Tata gently laid his hands on the sides of my face. “Don't you understand, you are the thing I value most in my life. You are worth so much that if you went up for auction I would bid higher than anyone else and when I won you I would think that I got off cheap.”
I blushed red.
Tata sighed loudly. I was figuring that he was still debating giving me a spanking. “I also have a feeling that you have an opinion about Tanya's baby.”
“Yes well, I really was thinking about that and I don't want Kelly to get her.”
“We aren't going to keep their baby,” he sighed.
“That wasn't what I was thinking. We can have one of our own. We don't need theirs, right?” I looked up at him.
“I'm sure we can.”
I nodded. “I was thinking that they could both stay here. They could make movies together and then when the baby is born we could sell it for adoption to a good family who is desperate for a baby and will treat it well. Then sell the two of them.”
He was nodding. “There is just one problem. He doesn't want it. He thinks she should have an abortion.”
“Okay, we sell him to the meanest person around so he can have a taste of his own medicine. Her we keep until the baby is born. She should be able to hold it at least once. Then afterwards when she is all healed up we can sell her.”
Tata was staring at me surprised. “I would have figured that you would have sai
d that we should set them free.”
“But she would say where she was and you would get arrested.”
He hugged me then. “Eat, angel. I will think about what you have said. I'll take care of everything tomorrow.” He looked really tired.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked.
“No, I'm – I think your solution is best. I will really think about it. I am sad because we never got to hold our baby too.” He looked really sorrowful.
I got up and went to him. I hugged him around his stomach like a little kid would. I had acted too grown up and now he was upset with me but he couldn't put it into words.
“I'm going to change and go down now but I really don't want you to cry anymore. Eat and watch your movie. I'll come by and check on you. Get some rest, angel.”
I nodded at him, stepping away so he could get dressed in his tux. He looked really good. I imagined myself showing up at a class reunion with him. The others would drool over him.
The others were all at college now. I wasn't. I was here locked up in a house. I would never graduate from high school or go on to become someone. I would never see my mother again.
If Tata ever really did get bored with me, like Kelly predicted, I would be sold off too. I started to cry again.
“I knew you were more upset than you were admitting.” He hugged me again and I was careful not to get his jacket wet with my tears. “I'm so sorry about that. So so sorry. I will never be able to make it up to you.” He held me for what felt like a long time but it was probably only three minutes. He looked down at me and smiled. “Your call. Should I stay or go?”
“I'll just eat and go to bed early. You don't have to worry about me. I'm fine. I might even be pregnant right now, right?” I laid my hand over my tummy and smiled up at him. The odd thing was that I hadn't wanted to have a child. Maybe later, much later, like when I was thirty or something. This wasn't the life I had planned for myself.
He kissed me and left. I got the feeling that the situation was too much for him. I ate caviar and went to bed just like I said I would.
If he really did check on me, I didn't notice. He would have found me asleep in bed, good to my word.
Class Trip Page 13