I move towards her and wrap my arms around her shoulders. She accepts and buries her head into my chest. She weeps silently into my heart for a few minutes before she pulls away and turns from me. I begin to tell her not to when she starts to finish telling me what had happened.
I have always known that it had something to do with her ex. I have had a file on her since I had first met her, but I had never opened it to the one page that would’ve have told me what she is telling me now. I had hoped and held out that she would tell me in her own time and now she is. I feel good about the choice I made.
“About three days later, after ignoring his calls and texts, Carter shows up high out of his mind on who knows what. He knocks on my door and sweet talks me into letting me in. At first, I guess it was okay. He was apologizing and begging me for my forgiveness. I loved him but would never be that girl that caved in just because he said sorry and promised things would be different. I told him sorry, but I couldn’t be with him anymore. That no matter what he did or said, I wouldn’t be able to ever get passed it. That’s when he had flipped a switch. Like Jekyll and Hide. He… he grabbed me and thr… threw me to the ground. He started wailing on me and wouldn’t let up. He picked me up and…”
Marlie grabs at her throat and closes her eyes, taking a moment to gather her words. “He picked me up, threw me against the wall and started to choke me. I thought I was going to die, Wes. I felt my life slipping away, but then he let go. I thought it couldn’t get much worse, but it did. He… oh god. I-”
“It’s okay Marlie; you don’t have to say anymore.” I honestly don’t think I want to hear anymore.
“Yes, I do, I have to finish.” She takes a few deep breathes and then continues.
“He grabbed a knife and stabbed me just below my hip on my upper thigh and then he… raped me.” She bows her head and becomes silent for a minute.
Never in a million years did I expect rape to come out of her mouth. She is such a strong and confident woman, and now, she seems off and distant. I fear that I might have pushed her back to the state where she used to be, after this monster attacked and broke her.
Yeah, I see it now, she’s broken.
She doesn’t look back up, but continues on. “I laid there for hours until Gemma came home and found me unconscious. She called the police and it was all kind of a blur after that. I had refused to talk to the cops and say anything about it. I just wanted to be left alone. Gemma was furious at me for wanting to let him get away with it. I didn’t see it that way. All I cared about was not having to repeat what had happened, but eventually she had convinced me that it was the right thing to do.”
She steps away from me and looks out to the street. “Carter was sent to prison. It took me a while to forgive myself. I had blamed myself for what he had done. Sometimes I still do. If I wouldn’t have put myself into his life and that world, none of it would have ever happened.”
“Don’t say that, Marlie. Don’t you ever say that. None of it is your fault. Now I understand. I understand why.”
“No, you don’t Wes. That’s only the beginning. When I first met you, yes, that was why I didn’t want to be anything more than friends. After spending time with you, you changed my mind. I developed feelings for you and it scared me too. For many reasons. But shortly after that day we spent together in Indiana, I got a phone call from the detective that had handled my case. She called to tell me Carter had been released early. I didn’t take the news so well. I know what kind of man Carter is. He’s dangerous and vindictive. I didn’t want to start something with you and have you pay for it in the end if Carter were to find out. He was supposed to stay in that prison for at least another year. I am sure his early release has something to do with his uncle, Olin, who is ten times the crazy Carter is.”
That’s why she has been pushing me away. It all makes sense now. I need to tell her about the hit on Gemma and that I think it’s her ex, but I don’t want to freak her out any more than she is right now. I’ll be putting it on hold, for now.
I take a few steps towards her until I am right in front of her and place a hand on each side of her face. She flinches slightly, but I don’t let that bother me. She needs to know that she shouldn’t worry about me. “Marlie, I know you think that he can hurt me, but he can’t. Trust me when I say I am a lot stronger than you think. Remember when we were talking about each other having our own secrets?”
She narrows her eyes at me and for a split second I see weariness, but she quickly recovers. “Yes, but can’t we do just one secret at a time? I’m not dumb, Wes. I know there is more to you than you say. I’ve known this for a while, but I just don’t quite know what it is and frankly, I don’t want to know. Well, at least not today, okay?”
I wipe the tears from her face with the pads of my thumbs as she takes a deep breath. I can see she’s trying to collect herself and escape the memoires she rehashed for me.
She looks to the right and then back at me. “We’ve been out here for a while, where is your date and where is Gemma? I think one of them would have come looking by now?”
I smirk at her. “I’ve taken care of it. And she is not my date.”
“Oh I see, then she’s just the girl you occasionally drink with and let her give you a Handy J under the table then?”
I laugh at that one and she smiles and laughs with me. She has the most beautiful smile and contagious laugh.
I drop my hands from her face and shake my head in disbelief. “No, she’s the girl I bring around you on your birthday to make you jealous. It was a dick move. I knew it was your birthday, Marlie, and I’m sorry that I did that. I really am. I don’t ever want to hurt you.”
At that moment she stops laughing at looks at me with her captivating eyes.
I look down at her mouth and watch as she sucks in air as her bottom lip trembles a little. It’s so god damn sexy how she is when she is turned on. I bring my mouth crashing down onto hers and kiss her, hoping she’ll return my affection, need, and want for her.
“Oh god,” she moans as she reciprocates.
As much as I don’t want to, I pull away.
“What?” she asks me breathlessly.
“What you just told me, I don’t want to take advantage of you in your emotional state. It wouldn’t be right.”
She looks at me in awe. “Wow, are you serious?”
“Yeah, babe. I want to turn your world upside down with my touch, but not tonight.”
Another tear starts to roll down her cheek and I wipe it away. “Hey, don’t cry.”
“These are happy tears, Wes.”
I smile at her and bring her in for a hug. This woman needs one and has for a long time. I now know the truth and I will make damn sure I never make her feel the way that scum ever did.
She pulls back and looks at me. “Kiss me.”
“Marlie, I don’t-”
“Wesley Holden, I have wanted you since the moment I met you that day outside the store, no matter how hard I fought it. Well, I’m not fighting it anymore. Now kiss me.”
“Marlie…” I tell her in a warning tone.
She places a single finger to my lips to silence me. “Make me forget, Wes.”
And that does it. I tried to hold back, but fuck… I pick her up and she wraps her legs around my waist and I walk her to the brick wall, pushing her back against it. Our lips crush against each other’s. She taste so fucking amazing. She starts clawing at my back like a rabid animal while I grab at her ass and squeeze as I move her slowly up and down over my instant erection. Her tongue feels like silk and I just want to worship every inch of her body.
Not caring that we’re in an alley where anyone can walk by and see us, I remove one hand and support her body with my right arm and I rip open her blouse, sending a few buttons flying. I pull down her camisole, revealing her luscious breast trapped in a black, lacey, bra. I remove my mouth from her lips and she whimpers. I about lose my shit at that sound.
I look down at her br
east. “Jesus.” I whisper. For a moment, I am in awe and I’m memorized by the sight of perfection in front of me. I have seen plenty of tits in my life. Fake, real, big, and small. But hers, hers are perfect. Like they were made for me. It’s not just her tits or her ass, it’s her. Body and mind.
She is paragon.
Not wanting to waste time, I bring my mouth to her nape and gently nip. I am rewarded immediately with even more moans and whimpers. I could live off just the sounds of her pants and moans if I had to. They are like music to my ears. The lust I feel for this woman is undeniable. I need more. I need to have her, to claim all of her. I need to make her mine. I pull away and set her down and I swear, if looks could kill, I would have been murdered the moment her feet hit the pavement. She looks at me like she can’t believe I let her go. And believe me, I wish I hadn’t, but I don’t feel like going to jail and brining her with me for fucking her in an alley. Besides, the first time I have her, I want to take her in my bed.
She quickly fixes herself and then I entwine my fingers with hers and pull her with me out of the alley.
“What the hell are you doing?”
I smile and look back her. “We’re going to finish, but it won’t be in an alley.”
“Oh, right.”
We walk down the street where my truck is parked and I can feel her eyes on me. I open the passenger door to my now new truck and let her in. I shut the door and walk over to my side and get in. The moment I get in we’re at it again. The hunger I feel coming off of Marlie is almost visible. Radiating like waves from the heat of the sun.
“Where are we going?” she asks panting in-between kisses.
“My place. I figure it’s about time you see it.”
She backs off a little and huffs. “Fuck that. My apartment will only take ten minutes. Let’s go there. I don’t want to wait.”
“Yes boss,” I say sarcastically and pull out onto the street.
WE ARRIVE AT HER apartment successfully. There were several times I just wanted to pull over and take her in the truck. She texted Gemma on the way and asked her not to come home for a while. I hop out of the truck and practically sprint to the passenger door. I grab Marlie out and wrap her legs around my waist, carrying her up the stairs to her place all the while our tongues continue to battle on the way up to her door. She digs out her keys without breaking contact with me and hands them over. I’m trying to find the right key and she’s trying to strip me of my shirt. Our heat and passion isn’t working in our favor to get the door open. So I set her down and hold up her keys. She smiles coyly and grabs them from my hand. Her eyes look dark and evil right now and I can only imagine how much of a freak she will be when I have her in her bed.
She gets the door open and we rush in. She slams the door behind me and hastily locks it. She turns towards me and slowly saunters over, licking her lips likes she’s about to feast upon her dinner and I’m it. She stops just a few feet in front of me and begins to take her clothes off ever. so. slowly.
Once stripped, leaving only her panty and bra remaining for me to tear off, she uses her finger to subtly usher me over to her. I inch my way towards her at her request and when I get close enough, she grabs at my arms and slams me to the door. She then places her hands flat on my chest to try and keep me in place. It takes me by complete surprise and I’m turned on more than I ever been in my life. “You ready?” she seductively purrs to me.
I grab a fistful of her hair and pull her head to the side. “Oh, I’ve been ready, babe.”
I spend the next few hours doing everything I have ever wanted to do with her since I knew she existed.
EIGHTEEN
Marlie
I HAVE LAID WIDE AWAKE IN my bed for the last few hours with the memories of last night replaying over and over again in my head. The fact that I told Wes about Carter and what we did after I told him, for several hours of course, is kind of mind blowing. I can’t believe I told him and we did what we did.
I have absolutely no regrets.
I lay here, rolled over to my side and watch as Wes’ sleeps in my bed next to me. It has been over two years since I’ve had a man in my bed and shit, it’s been that long since I’ve had sex too. It’s scary as hell and exciting all at the same time.
All I want to do is trace my fingers over the tattoos that practically cover his entire body, but I don’t want to wake him. And yet, I do. I want to wake him up and ask about the scars that mare his back and torso. The ones that look like he’s been stabbed over and over again. I know a stab scar when it see it. After all, I have one myself. The damage he sustained from his so called ‘accident’ that has slowly started to fade, doesn’t look like that either. I really don’t think that’s what it’s from. I thought that the moment he told me, but I am too scared to ask about what else it could be. Terrified actually. But deep down, I think I know. The revelation just hasn’t surfaced yet.
Instead, I just lay here and watch and think about what’s next for us. There is no turning back. I don’t want it to turn back. I want to freeze this moment and last night’s memory in time, but I can’t. I should to tell him the rest of my secrets, but I don’t want to.
There is still Carter out of prison. There is still me having to race, just waiting for the invite to be sent to me. Either by mail or by one of Olin’s henchmen. I dread it more than ever now. I really do believe I have a chance to be happy, but not until this other shit is out of the way and over with. But it won’t ever be over with.
I quietly get out of bed and creep out of the room. It’s six-thirty in the morning and I need to start getting ready for work. One more day of work and then I can have Wes all to myself, but first, I need some tea. Whether he likes it or not, I’m keeping him. I can just imagine it now, me tying him up to my bed and using him for my pleasures. Yeah, that doesn’t sound so bad.
As I get into the kitchen, there’s Gemma, sitting at our small high-top table, just staring at me. I smile at her and walk over to our Keurig. “Good morning,” I chirp.
“Good morning Marlie, you look… happy. Have a good night?”
“Yep.” I say, knowing she is wanting me to talk about what went down, but I want to mess with her a little bit first. “You’re up awfully early, couldn’t sleep?”
She smiles wide at me. “Oh, I slept just fine, once I got home. I just went to bed late, being as my best friend texted me and asked me not to come home for a while.”
“Oh, she did, did she?” I have my back towards her because I am having a hard time keeping my face passive.
“Yeah, she did.” She gets up and walks over to where I am waiting for my cup of tea to be made and hops on to the counter next to me. “Alright Marlie, cut the shit. You think I got up this early because I felt like it? Hell no. I want details. All of them. What happened with you and Wes?”
“Did someone say my name?” Wes asks, as he walks into the kitchen with only his pants on and his rock hard abs on display. And just like that, I want to jump him and take him back to my bed where we can spend all day reenacting last night or more like early this morning.
“Oh sweet Jesus,” Gemma lets out, as she just stares at Wes.
I don’t blame her; I’m even having trouble looking away.
Wes smiles and says good morning to us as he walks over to me. Not caring that Gemma is right next to me, he grabs my hair, pulls my head to the side and starts trailing kisses from the crook of my neck up to my jawline and then to my lips, where he gives the me best morning kiss. The kind people dream about but have never had.
“Mornin’, coffee?” I ask him once I catch my breath.
“Sounds good,” he says out loud, but then leans in and whispers into my ear, “or I could have some more of you.”
I blush a little and slap playfully at his arm.
“Well I guess that answers my question,” Gemma says as she hops off the counter and walks out of the kitchen, but not before giving me a look with her famous Cheshire cat smile. I wink at her while tak
ing a sip out of my mug.
“So…” I begin.
“So…” he repeats.
I don’t even know where to begin. I have questions and there are still things I’m keeping that I haven’t told him. Like that fact that I have to race. Or things I have done to make me feel like such an awful person.
“So, I need to start getting ready for the day. Want to shower with me? I’m feeling extra dirty from last night and I might need some help making sure I get clean in all the right places.”
I’m a coward, I know this. I completely ignore what needs to be said and talked about. I know we can’t ignore it forever. I just want live on cloud nine for a little bit longer. Forever, if possible.
He smiles at me then picks me up and throws me over his shoulder making me squeal with the unexpected toss. He smacks me playfully on the ass as he walks us to the shower.
DOING MY HAIR AND makeup in my bathroom, I can’t help but keep looking through the mirror and stealing looks at Wes lying sprawled out on my bed. Every time I look at him he’s looking at me too. Heat filled to the brim in his eyes and for the first time, I hate the fact that I have to go and be an adult. Just imagine me on the inside stomping my feet like a three old yelling, “I don’t want to!”
He gets up, walks over and leans against the door frame, “I think it’s about time you come over and see my place.”
I smile at him because I have been dying to see where he lives. Not that I haven’t or he hasn’t wanted me too, but the timing has never worked out. Since we both work in the city, it’s always been easier to hang here or do something in town.
“Yes, I do believe it is. When are you thinking?”
“How about I pick you tonight about seven-ish? I have a late meeting and probably won’t be out til’ about six-thirty.”
Underground Secrets (The Underground #1) Page 18