Designed

by Alicia Renee Kline

  “To chaperone me and make sure I don’t do something stupid tonight. Put me on a short leash, okay?”

  “Scout’s honor.”

  “You’re the best.”

  Will looked almost sheepish, as though he wasn’t accustomed to anyone paying him compliments. I knew where he was coming from. If I was still in my self-destructive phase, I’d almost consider making a move on him. But for many reasons, a very valid one being that he was at least good enough friends with Chris to know portions of our history, I wasn’t about to go there.

  “Would you mind asking Matthew if I could talk to him for a second?”

  “Sure, no problem.”

  I waited while he disappeared out the sliding glass doors on one end of the room. Within seconds, he returned with both my brother and Lauren’s dad in tow. Notably, Chris was missing. Knowing that he’d decided to remain alone outside on the patio due to me being here did little to calm my own increasing nerves.

  “Hey, sunshine,” Matthew greeted.

  “Hey, dork.”

  If there had ever been a doubt in my mind as to if my brother was really, truly, ready to go along with this, his demeanor erased that immediately. He was practically beaming, the happiest that I’d ever seen him. Obviously, Will had clued him in on my intent. I’d half expected him to rush in, panicked that Lauren was reconsidering, or that something was wrong with her or the baby. But he was calm, cool and collected and I was envious. I wasn’t the one getting married today and my palms were sweating.

  “My work here’s done. I’ve confirmed you are in attendance.”

  He laughed. “I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else.”

  “Good call. Because if the knight in shining armor doesn’t come through, who will?”

  “Don’t get ahead of yourself, love. There’s no knight in this room, just me.”

  “Tell that to your wife.” I smirked, then turned to Lauren’s father. “Doug, you ready? It’s game time in twenty minutes.”

  “Yeah, Blake,” he replied. “I’ll walk down with you.”

  “Okay.”

  Impulsively, I grabbed Matthew and pulled him into a hug. Even though it was standard practice for us, this time there was something different. Lauren had her dad, and Matthew had only me. No matter how much this would be a landmark event in a normal family’s life, our parents wouldn’t be represented. Not that I’d expected them to magically reconcile with us, or even care what we were up to now, but it was the first time in public that their absence would be noticeable.

  “I love you,” I whispered into his shoulder.

  Somehow he heard me. “Love you, too.”

  Before my eyes could water too much and ruin my makeup, I untangled myself from his arms and stuck out my tongue. He responded in kind, swatting my bare arm playfully. I squealed with laughter, the somber moment successfully a memory. We were fine how we were; this was no time for regrets.

  “Come on Doug,” I called, lacing my arm in his, “let’s go marry some people.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  As we passed by Will on our way out, I paused briefly. “Remember,” I instructed, “short leash.”

  Will saluted in agreement. For never meeting the guy before this whole thing, I rather liked him. He reminded me of Matthew, somehow able to keep the whole Switzerland vibe going on in the mess that was Blake and Chris’s failed relationship. Perhaps Chris hadn’t been too mean in his retelling of the tale.

  Then again, he didn’t know the half of it. And Chris had stayed out on the balcony the whole time I had been in the guys’ hotel room. That didn’t bode well for the rest of the evening.

  “You’ll be fine,” Doug said, picking up on my unease.

  I smiled up at him as we stepped into the elevator, wishing he had a bit more time to impart some fatherly advice than the few seconds it took to ride down one floor.

  “I sure hope so.”

  “Chris seems like a good friend to your brother. Other than that, I don’t really have a take on what went on between the two of you. But it seems to haunt him just the same. Maybe you should try talking to him.”

  “Now I see where Lauren gets it from. Romantics at heart, the two of you.”

  He shrugged, playing it off like it was nothing. But I knew the story, the torch that he carried for Lauren’s mother. When she had died at age twenty-six after her car had been hit head on by a drunk driver, his world had stopped turning. But he’d somehow carried on, raising their only daughter single-handedly in a way that put all of my parents’ wealth to shame. And he’d never thought of remarrying, let alone dating another woman. He’d stayed in the family home, never fathoming putting it up for sale, even when he became an empty-nester. As Lauren put it, it was the last place the three of them had been together and he couldn’t possibly leave that behind.

  I hoped like hell that one day I’d find someone that devoted to me. All the while, I had a sneaking suspicion that I already had and that he no longer wanted anything to do with me. But today wasn’t about me, I reminded myself. And I could get through whatever it threw at me, handling it with grace under fire.

  We stepped off the elevator, saying nothing more on the subject. I announced our arrival before swiping the key card through the reader and unlocking the door, slightly afraid that I’d catch either Gracie or Lauren in some stage of undress. After hearing no protest, I swung the door open and we entered.

  Lauren looked positively radiant in her gown, even better than I would have imagined from the glimpse I’d gotten that night in the bridal shop when she’d selected the dress. After a few weeks of fretting that her expanding waistline would ruin the look she was going for, the end result was perfect. The lady at the store hadn’t batted an eyelash when she’d returned for her first fitting, clearly pregnant and growing. I supposed seamstresses saw that quite a bit. And the empire waist dress actually worked to her advantage, the charcoal gray sash tied underneath her newfound cleavage. Of course, they’d had to guess at how much to take in the rest of the gown, and their estimate had been spot on.

  She stood in front of the full length mirror, looking like she’d stepped out of the pages of a bridal magazine, albeit one that used models with child. Her hand grazed over her bump, a small smile lighting her features.

  “The baby’s kicking,” she explained.

  Doug rushed over to her side and she took his hand, pressing it against her. Though he’d made the journey up to Fort Wayne more than he likely would have without grandfatherhood impending, I could tell it never got old for him to talk baby. Per Lauren’s insistence, they’d not found out what they were having yet, preferring to be surprised. But whoever it was that came out, they would be loved and adored like no other.

  “We’ll leave the two of you alone,” I said softly, motioning to Gracie to give them their privacy. I wasn’t certain what types of things were traditionally said between father and daughter on her wedding day, but I was pretty sure that I’d end up bawling if I heard them.

  The two of us congregated in the hallway, my nerves kicking in full bore. I paced up and down the length of the corridor, a ball of energy. This was it. Guests were undoubtedly here, milling about as they waited for show time to begin. I occupied myself with thoughts of how I hoped the reception hall would have come together under my direction, praying that I wouldn’t be disappointed that I’d not done everything myself.

  Anything to not focus on the fact that within a matter of minutes, Chris would be coming down that elevator, waiting to take Gracie’s arm and lead her into the ceremony. I wasn’t jealous of her per se; she looked almost disgusted that she had been paired with him. I remembered her comment over the speakerphone that night at Lauren’s house when she’d received the packet of pictures taken courtesy of her stalker coworker. Photos of her and Chris at a local fast food place, looking cozy. Intermixed with pictures of her and Eric, as well as some very intimate shots of her and my brother outside by his pool. Her stalker had forced Lauren
to come clean to Matthew that Chris had sat her down for a come to Jesus meeting - something he’d sworn her to secrecy about. The gist of Gracie’s take on everything was that Chris could fuck himself and the white horse he rode up on.

  Perhaps that had even been the direct quote. Whatever the case, I doubted that Chris rated much higher in Gracie’s book than did Eric. I giggled at the thought.

  “What?” Gracie stage whispered.

  I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  I sobered immediately when the elevator doors opened before us. Matthew, Chris and Will had ridden down together. While Matthew snaked his way around the building so that he could enter the reception hall without being spotted, Chris and Will were left to mingle in the hallway with us. Mike had instructed us to wait here until all guests were seated; then he’d come get us personally when it was time to begin. This way Lauren could stay hidden behind closed doors until the last possible second.

  The otherwise good planning made it difficult on me, though. As soon as the elevator doors opened, I turned away, pretending that I was captivated by the wallpaper on the opposite side of the hall. Chris had taken that opportunity to walk briskly by me, retreating somewhere out of my eyesight.

  But how I could feel him, smell him, remember him. He hadn’t changed, even though I had.

  Will was far more friendly, slipping into the hallway beside Gracie and me, though he remained quiet. Now that I knew he felt like an outsider, I admired his resolve. Unlike Chris, he wasn’t about to appear antisocial, even if he viewed himself as an outcast in our intimate wedding party. Or he was taking his babysitting duties seriously, either way. I flashed him an encouraging smile, attempting to bolster my own courage in turn.

  After what seemed like an eternity, I spotted Mike coming down the hallway. I reached over and tapped lightly on the door to alert Doug and Lauren that it was time. The door opened just a crack and the two of them remained inside even as Mike began his debriefing, which was supposed to be for all of us but seemed directed only to me.

  “Okay people,” Mike said, clasping his hands together, “everyone’s in place.”

  He gave me the once over, his eyes traveling the length of my body even as I pressed myself against the wall and wished I could disappear. Gracie smirked at my discomfort, her face practically jovial as Chris strode purposefully past me to take her arm. If Gracie had picked up on the clues that Mike had a thing for me, Chris most definitely would. As much as he was putting on a show about ignoring me, in reality he was fine-tuned to my every move. As I was his.

  “You’ll be fine,” Will whispered as he took my arm in his.

  I wanted to hug him. Instead, I merely nodded.

  Mike led us down the corridor to the entrance to the reception hall. As quietly as possible, he propped both doors open. Instrumental music filtered out into the area we occupied, mixed with the dull roar of an anticipatory crowd. He gave a thumbs up to someone undoubtedly at the front of the room who was waiting for his cue and the music silenced before beginning again. This time it was the focal point instead of the background, and the guests grew quiet.

  I found my cheerleader smile from years long past and fixed it upon my face as Will and I entered. One foot in front of the other, I told myself. I could do this, make it perfect, and go home and crumble later. I focused my attention on the altar ahead of us, discreetly scanning the decorations and weighing the outcome in my mind. I supposed the hired help had done a good enough job. Will gave me another supportive squeeze before we parted ways - him flanking Matthew, while I took up residence on what would be Lauren’s side.

  I took a deep breath and steadied myself for who followed next. I made it a point to divert my attention away from Chris and look only at Gracie, who appeared to be in her element. I imagined the smile she wore was genuine; she seemed to bask in the moment of being the maid of honor, even if she had to share her procession with the best man. She looked like I wished I felt - happy to be here, not a care in the world. She practically floated into position beside me.

  And then my attention shifted. While everyone else in the room rose and laid their eyes upon Lauren as Doug walked her to the altar, I stared straight at Matthew. After all, I already knew what she looked like. I was captivated instead by the expression on my brother’s face, one that I had seen many times before, though not in this magnitude.

  He only had eyes for her. The whole rest of the scene melted away as he fixed his gaze upon the love of his life, the mother of his child. He watched intently as she made her way across the room, memorizing every step so it could be replayed over and over again. Pure adoration.

  It truly did begin and end with her.

  The ceremony itself was short and sweet, maybe fifteen minutes in length. I watched with blurry eyes as two of the most important people in my world pledged themselves to one another. I doubted there was many a dry eye in the place, though I couldn’t pull myself away from watching them to confirm. Simply and without any fanfare, they declared their love and devotion to each other for the rest of their lives.

  In my heart of hearts, it was the only ending I’d ever really seen to their story. As much as Lauren had been fixated on staying with Eric during the first few months we’d known each other, all roads had always led to my brother. Gracie could sensationalize the soap opera appeal of a love triangle all she wanted to, but if there had ever been one, it was incredibly lopsided. Lauren and Matthew had fallen in love the first time they’d set eyes on each other and it had only grown from there. Everything else had merely been details, stumbling blocks along the way to prove how strong their feelings were.

  Once they’d stopped fighting the inevitable, magic had happened. Everyone should be so lucky.

  The guests were dismissed and we hung around for the requisite group photos afterward. The general mood was festive, as it should be, and I played along as best as I could. With the fog of post-wedding bliss permeating the air, it wasn’t as hard as I’d imagined.

  Even so, I caught Chris staring at me more than a couple times, though he’d quickly look away when I spotted it. Part of me wanted to call him out, but I bit my tongue and remained mute. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. Maybe he’d been waxing sentimentally about our own relationship, imagining us in Matthew and Lauren’s places at the altar. Or maybe that was just my own overactive fantasy playing out. Why couldn’t I just accept the fact that that was my dream, not his?

  I winced, the pain washing over me in waves. Fortunately no one noticed. Just in case, I bent down and played with the strap on my sandal, pretending that the heels were killing my feet.

  When the bridal party was dismissed by the photographer a few minutes later so that he could snap pictures of the bride and groom alone, I fled the room like I was leaving a burning building. I didn’t care about my abrupt departure causing a scene; I needed some room to breathe. My plan was to run back to the bridal suite and compose myself, but I didn’t make it that far.

  As I turned the corner, my destination in sight, I froze in my tracks.

  At the elevator stood a figure that I instantly thought I recognized. Though his back was turned to me, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was him. He was out of context, in the complete wrong location, but it was something in his demeanor that clued me in. The cocky way that he punched the “up” button to the side of the elevator, the way his hand rested on the handle of his suitcase on wheels that spoke volumes about who he was.

  Just to make certain, I cleared my throat and called his name, hoping like hell I was wrong.

  “Eric?”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I said a silent prayer that the figure ahead of me wasn’t him, that he wouldn’t know I was addressing him, and would just get on the elevator and disappear. Eric was a common enough name; a stranger probably wouldn’t think anything of hearing it called out across a busy hotel. I could have been talking to a boyfriend, a spouse, a child, anyone.

  But he turned arou
nd and my fears were confirmed.

  “Blake?” His voice was full of confusion, as though I was the one who didn’t belong. Me, the Fort Wayne native, standing in the middle of a hotel in the heart of downtown. Him, fresh from Atlanta, standing here like he owned the place.

  I cut the distance between us quickly.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “I could ask you the same.”

  He took a long look at me, his green eyes appraising my blue floor length dress, taking in my hair and makeup. I crossed my arms over my chest and stared back at him, hoping I didn’t have to state the obvious. It wasn’t like people my age went to the prom and besides, it was totally the wrong month for that anyway.

  “I have a conference in Chicago on Monday,” he explained when I didn’t speak up.

  “By way of Fort Wayne? Surely you could have gotten a direct flight to Chicago from Atlanta.”

  He shrugged. The elevator stopped on our floor and the doors slid open. A couple with two children exited and we positioned ourselves to allow them to pass. Eric remained where he was as the doors closed and the elevator departed without him.

  “I could have,” he admitted.

  “But it was too tempting not to swing by and try to insert yourself into Lauren’s life again? In this hotel? On today of all days?”

  I mentally ran through a list of people in common that could have informed him of the wedding. I seriously doubted Doug would have mentioned anything. Gracie despised him, so it wasn’t her. Lauren wasn’t big into social media - in fact she didn’t even participate at all. She wasn’t the type to gush about her upcoming nuptials online. Hell, she hadn’t even put an engagement announcement in the paper. Could it be possible that fate had landed him here on sheer coincidence?

  “First off,” he snapped, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  I snorted. “Really? Let’s use some context clues here. Or must I spell it out for you?”

  He stared at me, unblinking. I could totally relate to why Gracie hated him.