Robert stared at her, not quite sure whether to believe this confession.
"My God, you really were jealous!"
"Yes, I admit it. She already had the title, the estate; I saw no reason why she deserved a passionate love affair with the man who was promised to me.” She turned away, blushing again. “Then I told Maisie to make up the mushroom broth, just to keep the two of you apart until I had married and moved up north, that was all. I had no intention of doing her any permanent harm."
He gave her a harsh glare and she closed her eyes, clutched her upper arms with her hands.
"I cannot believe I once wanted to marry you, that I thought I loved you," Robert muttered angrily. "How could you do such a thing? Antonia did no harm to you."
She turned back and met his stare with her own, pulling herself up to her full height again in an attempt to regain some of her lost dignity.
He gave her a look of disgust and turned to leave, but she called after him.
"You will tell her I am sorry?" She asked.
He turned back to look at her, his eyes filled with contempt.
"If I can find her, I might."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean your stupid village idiot spilled some of her evil broth and it killed a rat. Antonia believes I ordered her death and now she has gone, run away to hide from me. I will never forgive you for this."
CHAPTER SEVEN
Antonia rode on until she came to a small village a mile or two outside of London. Her plan was to ride on into London, but it was getting late and she had no wish to be stranded alone in the capital when the sun went down.
She was relieved to find that the village inn had stables adequate for Emerald for the night and she led the little mare there, gave the stable hand instructions and left her to his care. She did not feel as confident with him as she had with the last one, in the last inn, but he seemed caring enough. She had little choice anyway, and would check on her when she had eaten.
Inside the inn she ordered food and ale and breathed a sigh of relief. She had got as far away from Roxham Hall as she needed to feel safe; she could stay a night or two, then make her way to London. She would not feel safe here; it was too exposed, not enough people to hide the presence of just one and the sort of place where everyone would know what everyone else was doing. Even now the arrival of a very young woman travelling alone would have roused the curiosity of the villagers. Once in London, she would think about finding work and somewhere to live.
"You are travelling alone?" The innkeeper asked as he took her order.
"I am, Sir. My father and mother were both killed when their barge overturned and I have no one. I cannot afford to keep a servant."
"It is not safe for a lady like yourself to be travelling alone."
"I have been lucky so far, Sir, thank you for your concern. But I need to find work of some kind."
He made no reply but studied her carefully before he took himself off to the kitchens. He returned with her meal and another man, a tall gentlemanly man with white hair and a kind smile.
"May I?" He asked, indicating the spare seat at her table.
She nodded.
"The innkeeper there tells me you are looking for work."
"I am, Sir. My father was Baron Jarvis from Hertfordshire. He died along with my mother when their barge capsized. I have to support myself now and it is not easy."
He gave a little smile and his eyes met hers. She got the impression he was trying to decide if she were telling the truth.
"Allow me to introduce myself," he said. "I am the Earl of Durston and I have been looking for a suitable companion for my wife."
"Your wife, My Lord?"
"Yes. She is an invalid, very frail and I cannot be with her as much as I would like. All you will need to do is stay with her, talk to her; the servants will do everything else. She is an intelligent woman who needs someone of equal intelligence with whom to converse." He got to his feet and gazed down at her. "Give it some consideration while you eat. I will come back in a little while, see what you have decided. Then we can talk about remuneration and accommodation."
The Earl's offer seemed a little too convenient to Antonia and although it was just the sort of occupation she had in mind, recent events had made her suspicious of everything.
As she finished her meal and sipped her ale, the Earl returned and sat opposite her. He smiled kindly, then reached across the table and covered her hand with his own in a fatherly fashion, but she fought the urge to snatch her hand away. She thought the gesture far too familiar.
"Well, Mistress? My house is not far away, only half a mile or so outside the village. Would you like to come and meet Her Ladyship?"
"I had intended to continue on to London," she said hesitantly. "Do you and Her Ladyship live here all the time?"
"Heavens, no, only in the summer months. London is foul in the summer, stinking and dirty, but we return there when the weather gets cold."
Why did I not think of that? Antonia thought. There would be no society people in London in the summer to give her employment. Everyone who was likely to be in need of the sort of services she could offer would be away, staying in their country houses, enjoying the summer months away from the city.
She would have to risk staying in the village until the autumn at the very least, and here was a good offer. At last she answered his question.
"I would, My Lord," she replied. "Thank you."
They stood and he offered his arm, which she felt obliged to take.
"What is your wife's malady, My Lord?"
"It is her heart," he answered. "She cannot do very much and she rarely leaves her chair. She needs a companion. It is not easy to find a lady of good birth for the task."
"I can imagine."
It was some fifteen minutes later that they arrived at a small mansion, not nearly as big as Roxham Hall, but as Antonia followed the Earl inside and looked about, the decorations, the lighting and panelling looked so familiar, she might have been at home. She caught back an ache in her throat; this was going to be so hard.
Lady Durston was of the same generation as her husband. She was a tiny framed woman with brown hair, streaked with grey, and she sat on her chair before the window so as to see what went on outside. She wore purple silk and her hair was covered with a headdress of matching fabric. She had a very lovely face, despite the lines of age, and Antonia immediately felt comfortable with her.
“Look who I found,” Lord Durston said. “A daughter of a Baron, a lady of good birth in need of work. I think she would make an excellent companion for you, my dear.”
Lady Durston looked at her husband with a little smirk before she replied.
“I imagine you did,” she said. Then she turned to Antonia. “Do sit down, my dear," she told her. "Tell me all about yourself."
She held out her hand and Antonia took it, but she pulled away quickly when she noticed Lady Durston's eyes on her ring finger. There was a little white mark there where she had worn her wedding band and she wanted no questions.
Lady Durston cast a meaningful glance at her husband and he left them alone together. Thankfully, Her Ladyship made no mention of the ring mark, but Antonia got the definite impression that once she knew her better, she would not be able to contain her curiosity. The woman had little to occupy her mind and a mystery such as this would likely be irresistible to her.
Antonia was given a small suite of rooms at the back of the house. She would have to cross the courtyard to get to Lady Durston, or go all the way round, which she might be tempted to do in bad weather. It was just two rooms, and had wood panelling along the walls. There was a chandelier with candle holders and a wood burning stove for the winter. It was small but very cosy and she was grateful for the privacy it gave her.
Lady Durston said her husband spent most of his evenings and nights with her and she thought they would get along better if Antonia had a retreat. She only really needed her companionship during the d
ay, which left her free to amuse herself in the evening. Not that she was in any mood to amuse herself. She was still aching with disappointment and betrayal; it was bad enough he had wed her while still being in love with another woman, but to know he wanted her dead just twisted her heart until she could not stop crying.
When she was alone, she would take out her wedding band, with the tiny diamonds encrusted in the gold, and hold it in her hand while it caught the glow from the candles above her head.
She would get over it, she told herself firmly. She had no choice. There was no future for her with a man who ever once wanted her dead, even if he were to change his mind, and her immediate concern was to stay hidden. She still had quite a lot of money and if she was careful, she would never be dependant on anybody.
She tried to think of the village and her rooms as home, but she was still nervous about staying here. She needed to be in London; she would feel safer there, but until the summer died, she would have to stay here. She suffered badly from homesickness. She had loved Roxham Hall; it had been her home since her parents' death and she knew every inch of it and knew the people who lived nearby. Now she had to begin again and she was astonished to realise she had got used to being a countess in the short time she had been married.
Having to curtsy and give that deference to Lady Durston was a little demeaning, even though it was always something she had been used to before. If truth were told, it was not the title she missed most, it was Robert and she felt so foolish for not seeing through his schemes; her confidence was badly damaged.
Lady Durston scrutinised her red rimmed eyes in the mornings, how could she not? But she said nothing and Antonia did not feel like enlightening her. She would get over Robert a lot quicker if she were not forced to talk about him.
Autumn began with a misty chill in the air, although it was yet only September, and she was just putting her cloak on one morning to make her way across the courtyard to the main house, where Lady Durston would be waiting for her. It was fast approaching the time when they could move to London and the shield of crowds.
The knock at the door startled her, as nobody ever came and knocked at her door, but she looked through the window and saw His Lordship standing there in the chill.
"Good Morrow to you, Mistress," he said with a smile as she opened the door.
"My Lord. Is something wrong? I was about to go to Her Ladyship."
"No, my dear, nothing is wrong. I wanted a little word with you before you left. You have been with us some weeks now and my wife has been very pleased with your services. She likes you."
"That is very kind, My Lord. I like her as well."
"Good, good." He paused and made his way inside, sat down at the table and looked up at her. "I like you, too, and I was thinking the time had now come to talk about the services you can provide for me."
"For you, My Lord?" She asked suspiciously.
"Yes," he said. He reached out a hand and took hers, pulled her down to sit at the table with him.
"You must have noticed," he went on, "that my wife is very weak. Our intimate life has suffered because of this and I am a man of...well shall we say, strong appetites?"
She should have been offended but she was only disappointed. She had been settling into her new life and had become fond of Lady Durston, and now she would have to leave, all because this lecherous old man could not go and find himself a whore for his appetites. That made her angry.
"Does Her Ladyship know of your offer, My Lord?" She demanded.
He sniggered.
"We would not want to upset her, would we?"
"No, I most certainly would not want to upset her. I have grown fond of her and I have no intention of becoming your mistress or anything else you may like to call it. Perhaps Her Ladyship might have an opinion on the matter."
"She might," Lord Durston replied slowly, rubbing his chin. "Or your husband might be interested to learn where his wife is hiding."
Antonia shot to her feet, tears desperately trying to escape. She brushed them away with the back of her hand and took a step backwards and away from him.
"What are you talking about?" She demanded.
"Oh, come now, my dear, do not pretend innocence. I know you have left your husband. The social circles of the aristocracy are very limited and hungry for gossip, and we have all heard how Lord Roxham's new countess has run away from him."
"I cannot stay here," she said. "I have to go. How did you know who I was?"
"You gave me your unmarried name, my dear," His Lordship answered with a smug little smile. "I knew your father and I knew your guardian. As I said, it is a small circle. Did Lord Robert ill treat you? Was he unkind? I seem to recall he always had a temper and his father was brutal. Rumour has it his son is just like him."
She swallowed, trying to keep her emotions under control.
"If you consider trying to poison me unkind, yes he was."
She hoped he might take pity on her, but he only laughed.
"Come now, you exaggerate," he said flippantly.
"No, My Lord, I assure you I do not."
He shrugged.
"Have it your own way. Do we have an agreement?"
"Certainly not," she replied angrily. "I got this far without help."
"Very well," he said, shaking his head. "Do not say you had no alternative. I shall send a message to Lord Roxham today. If he is half as brutal as his father, by nightfall you will wish you were lying cosy in my bed."
Her eyes followed him as he left the room, then she went to the cupboard, took out Robert's leather travelling bag and began to pack her things into it, but she would tell Lady Julia before she went. She would not be happy with her husband, but Antonia would not have her thinking she had left without a word.
She took the bag with her across to Lady Julia's apartments and was struck by the difference in weight since she had fled her home. The bag contained precisely the same things, but she was so much stronger now.
She walked rapidly across the courtyard, thinking about Lord Durston's words. It would be like this wherever she went, if what he said was true. If everybody knew who she was, she would have to think of a new name and go and work as a domestic or something, so that nobody found her.
His words about Robert did not frighten her. She knew he was not brutal like his father, but he did want her dead, there was no mistake about that.
She breathed a sigh of relief as she entered Lady Julia's apartment, pleased to find that Lord Durston was not there. She half feared he might have been, telling his lies to his wife to get her on his side before Antonia had a chance to put her case. But there was no sign of him and she rather thought he was too afraid to do that. He had always seemed a little in awe of his wife.
Lady Julia frowned at her, taking in her outdoor clothes and the travelling bag she was now placing beside the door.
"You are leaving?" She asked.
"I am sorry, My Lady," Antonia replied. "I have no choice."
"This is something to do with your husband?"
Antonia let her glance drop to her feet.
"How did you know?"
"A little white band where a gold one used to be," she replied. "He has discovered you?"
"Not yet, My Lady, but if your husband has his way it will not be long."
Lady Julia raised her eyebrows.
"My husband? What has he to do with it?"
Antonia was torn between the need to be herself and speak her mind and the need to protect this kind lady from knowing her husband would betray her.
"I am sorry, Lady Julia, but His Lordship knows who I am. He has known since he met me, apparently, and now he is saying he will tell my husband where I am if I refuse to lie with him. It is no doubt what he had in mind all along."
Lady Julia did not look in the least surprised.
"No doubt," she replied.
"He has done this before?" Antonia asked.
"He has. But he usually chooses poor serving girls w
ith little choice in the matter. To make his sickening proposal to a lady of quality is rather careless." She picked up the ale tankard from which she had been drinking when Antonia arrived and drained it before she went on. "What has Lord Roxham done to make you run away from him?"
"You know who I am as well?"
"Of course. There are few secrets among court circles. I do not know the young man, but I did know his father. Does he beat you, is that it? Is he violent like his father?"
"No, My Lady," Antonia replied quickly, feeling offended on Robert's behalf, feeling the need to leap to his defence. "He has been always kind to me and loving. But I learned it was insidious, by way of bringing happiness to a woman's last few weeks on earth. I suppose it eased his conscience."
"Forgive me, my dear. Am I understanding you correctly?"
Antonia nodded.
"He ordered my death, My Lady. I discovered just in time that I was being poisoned and that he ordered it. That is why I ran away."
Lady Julia took her hand and squeezed it, then handed her a cloth to wipe her face. She had no idea until then that tears were flooding down her cheeks.
"Come, sit beside me. Do not concern yourself with Lord Durston's threats; he will not reveal your whereabouts to anyone. I will see to that. He has perversions he would not want society to know about. I am not as weak as I pretend to be."
"Robert's father, my guardian, made it a condition of his Will that Robert was to marry me in order to inherit. Otherwise it would all go to his cousin. He tried to contest it, but it was legal. He wanted to marry someone else, Lady Camilla Austin, and she would not have him without the title."
"So he married you?"
"Yes, My Lady," she answered miserably. "But I refused at first. I had no intention of marrying him, I could have managed without, but he persuaded me and we made certain promises to each other. At least, I thought we had. I made him promise he would be faithful, and a few other things; I did not think to make him promise not to kill me."
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