by TL Alexander
Her story is reminiscent of a case that will forever haunt me. I represented a woman whose wealthy husband got off on a technicality. Two days after his release, while she was under police surveillance, he broke into her home and strangled her with his belt. Her autopsy revealed that she was pregnant.
I put the sick bastard away for life, but it didn’t lessen the guilt and shame of my failure. I went to her funeral, sat on the back row and watched her grieving family and friends say goodbye. After everyone left, I walked up to her lifeless body and promised her I’d never fail again. I kept my promise; I never lost another case.
Jane’s story has unsettled me. But it’s her uncanny resemblance to Tara that’s made my skin crawl.
The back door bangs shut again. I blink and the computer screen comes into focus, reminding me I’m in the middle of paying bills.
A month and two days have passed since that night in the cave. I sold everyone a bag of lies that next morning. I held up my hands and showed them my scraped palms, telling them I must have fallen, hit my head, and then passed out. I then shook my head and said, “I remember entering the cave, but after that… nothing.”
Ethan has been to the pub a few times while I’ve been working. He’s treated me and acted as if what happened never did. I want him to think I didn’t remember what he’s done. When he’s near, my acting skills are tested and my tongue is bloodied and pitted with teeth marks.
I’ve been having nightmares about the night I faked my disappearance, the night in the cave, and Jane and her story. All three separate events have twisted and meshed into a continuous loop that runs night after night. I wake up in a panicked sweat, my sheet tangled around my feet or tossed haphazardly off the side of the bed.
“Earth to Bri.”
I look up from the computer screen. “Sorry. I was…”
“In another world,” Mich says as she enters the back office.
“Something like that.”
“I knocked but—are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
She waves a stack of bills. “I know you have tons to do, and I’ve taken advantage. I just…”
I hold out my hand. “Give them to me.”
She hesitates.
“It’s no big deal, Mich. I’m glad to help.”
She half smiles as she places them in my hand.
Her sister Jill is dying. Her cancer has spread to her vital organs, and she was told she has only weeks to live. Mich has been spending most of her time with her sister, and I’ve taken over the management of the pub. I’m more than happy to help, but I know Mich is having trouble dealing with the guilt of having someone else do her work, on top of the pain of losing her sister and best friend.
“Are you sure you’re good with this?”
“Mich, all’s good.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Bri. You were heaven sent.”
I shake my head. “That I wasn’t.”
“Well, that’s not for you to decide.”
I place the stack of bills on the others and wave my hand her way. “Now shoo. I’ve got to get these bills paid and on to payroll, or there’ll be a mutiny.”
“Okay, I’m going. I can’t believe I’ll miss brunch at your place tomorrow.”
The owners of the house Mark was renting returned early from their two-year stay in Japan. He found himself homeless and unable to find a place to rent. I have a spare bedroom, as everyone pointed out. So now we’re roomies, and Mark has insisted we entertain more; this week it’s Sunday brunch.
“You’re going to miss out on ‘Bri’s Benedict.’”
She sits on the edge of the desk. “Mark told me about your to-die-for eggs Benedict.”
“I wouldn’t want anyone to kill themselves over it, but they’re pretty awesome.”
“Maybe next time.”
“When things… settle.”
“Thanks, Bri. I just can’t—” She chokes up.
“You don’t need to say anything. I’m happy to help. And to be honest, serving beer gets old fast.”
She tilts her head. “I guess being a server for as many years as you have does take its toll.”
“Something like that.”
“I know you have secrets, Bri.”
A bead of sweat makes its way down my spine.
She puts her hand over mine. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that as a threat. Kat told me about the meetings you go to every week.”
I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. “It’s not something I talk about.”
“Do you talk about it at the meetings?”
“Why would you ask?”
“Because I know what it’s like living a lie. Keeping all of your shit inside.”
Another bead of sweat joins the other at the base of my spine. Mich is smart, cunning even. At times, I can’t read her, and it makes me wonder if she’s hiding more than her relationships with women. More than Peter was able to find.
She runs the back of her hand up my arm. It’s only then that I pick up on her intent. She’s making a pass at me. God, I’m losing it. The lack of sleep is taking more than its toll.
I look at her hand, and she removes it.
I internally sigh in relief.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t—”
“It’s okay. I’m just surprised. I didn’t know,” I lie.
She pulls up a chair and sits. “I’m not a lesbian. Well, I don’t think I am, anyway. I like to experiment. Play for both teams. You’re a very beautiful woman, Bri, inside and out. I wanted you to know how I felt. But I don’t expect my feelings to be reciprocated. But it would be fun,” she says and winks.
“I’m flattered, but…”
“I’m sorry, Bri. I didn’t come in here to harass you. Let’s forget about it.”
I nod.
“I spoke to Steph and Wendi.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t worry. I didn’t say you talked to me about them.”
“I don’t like being the bad guy. And you being the owner and boss….”
“Just because they’re my cousins doesn’t give them the right to take advantage. I had the same problem with them last summer. I told them to show up on time or find another job.” She pauses and frowns. “Speaking of being late.”
“Vik?”
She nods. “I’ve known Vik forever. She’s been in and out of love dozens of times. But this is the first time she’s been stupid over a guy. I ran into her at the market last week. She was buying bridal magazines.”
This news takes me by surprise. “I didn’t think it was that serious. They haven’t been dating long, and it’s… Ethan we’re talking about.”
“I’d say it’s not, for Ethan anyway.”
“You’ve seen him with other woman?”
“Surprisingly no. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
“At me?”
“Yes, at you. I told him to get in line.”
“You’re kidding, I hope.”
“No, I’m not. I told him to get behind Tad, me, and 90 percent of all the guys who sit on your side of the bar.”
“I don’t flirt or encourage anyone.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just an observation.”
“I’m concerned about Vik. And it’s not because I’m jealous, like she swears I am.”
“So you’re saying you’re not attracted to Ethan?”
I mentally slap myself for bringing up Vik. I don’t want to talk about Ethan on any level. It seems as if I can’t get away from him. “Of course I’m attracted to him. I’d have to be blind not to be. But that doesn’t mean I have feelings for him.”
She raises a brow.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
I don’t believe her, but I don’t press it. I want the conversation over.
“I’ll talk to her before I leave. Give her a final warning.”
“I would appreciate that. I’ve tried talking t
o her. When she doesn’t play the jealous card, she plays the I’ve-been-here-the-longest card. She refuses to see or believe she’s taking advantage of her friends.”
“I understand, Bri.”
“I don’t want her to lose her job.”
“It’s not your fault if she does.” She stands. “I’ll let you get back to work so you can get out of here.”
I nod.
She walks to the door and turns. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“I’d appreciated that.”
She smiles and leaves, keeping the door open.
I sigh heavily as I shuffle through the stack of bills. Then I make two piles, one for those I know are due soon, and one for those that can wait.
Mark walks in and plops down in the chair Mich just vacated. “Heard that sigh from the storage room.”
I finish my piles and look up at him. “Come to help?”
“With bills?”
I nod.
“Hell no. I came to talk about last night.”
I smile. “Last night? Hmm. What happened last night?”
“I’m sorry for being so loud. The walls in your old cottage are thin and—”
“Tell me about it,” I tease.
“I knew you had to come in early, and it looks like you’re staying late.”
“Hey, no big deal. Your nightly… escapades remind me of my college years.”
He tilts his head. “College? You told me you didn’t go.”
I swallow. Shit. I find myself slipping and then stumbling over my words far too often lately. I know the lack of sleep is to blame. “I didn’t. I lived them vicariously through my best friend,” I say, adding a smile.
He smiles, and I relax a bit.
“So what’s this new guy’s name? I know it’s not God, or Oh God, or Oh, Oh God.”
He throws a bar towel at me. “ Smartass.”
I catch it and laugh. “I shouldn’t laugh. At least you have a sex life.”
“Don’t you dare go all boohoo on me. I see the way guys look at you, the way a certain woman looks at you.”
“Mich?”
“You knew?”
“No. Not until a few minutes ago.”
“Did she come on to you?”
I nod. “I almost took her up on it.”
He grabs the towel out of my hand and throws it back at me. “You did not.”
I chuckle. “Okay. I didn’t.”
His smile slips. “Why don’t you? I mean with guys. Don’t you dare tell me it’s about your ex-husband. I know you’re passed that.”
My smile dramatically slips away. “Does anyone ever get beyond that?”
He leans forward on his chair. “Sorry, Bri. You know I didn’t—”
I toss the towel over his head. “Got ya.”
He stands and walks behind the desk. “Now you’ve done it. I know your ticklish spots.”
I shriek and roll the chair away from him.
“Beg for mercy?”
“Mercy!”
He shakes his head and laughs. “Pussy,” he says and sits on the edge of the desk.
I roll next to him.
He nods toward the vase of flowers on the desk. “Tad Pole?”
“The one and only.”
“Why are you playing games with him?”
“I’m not playing games.”
“You are. You’re not into him, but you pretend you are. Why?”
I can’t tell him why. I’ve been using Tad as a shield or barrier. I believe as long as Tad’s around, Ethan will stay away. I get that it’s not fair or right, but I can’t help it. I don’t think Ethan will drug or harm me again, but I’m not 100 percent certain.
“I wish you’d tell me what’s really going on. I’ve heard you cry out in your sleep. Nightmares?”
“No.”
“Really? Then what would you call them?”
“Don’t you have work to do?”
Vik walks into the office, pausing when she sees Mark. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were busy. I’ll come back later,” she says and disappears.
“Vik,” I call after her.
She returns to the door. “What?”
“We need to talk.”
Mark stands. “I’ll be up front.”
“I should be done in an hour.” I look down at the stack of bills. “Maybe two. Why don’t you check the fridge and see what we need from the market.”
His eyes light up as he removes his phone from his apron. Our fridge went out a few weeks ago. We replaced it with one of those refrigerators that are connected with an app. You can literally see inside your fridge.
Vik rolls her eyes. “I’ve never seen two people more pumped to go grocery shopping.”
“Whatever,” he tells her and leaves.
Vik sits.
I roll my chair closer to the computer and pull up her file.
“Truth. What is it with you two? Is he swinging both ways now?”
“Of course not. We’re just having a little roommate fun.”
“I’ve never had that much fun with a roomie I wasn’t sleeping with.”
I shrug her comment off.
“Mich told me to shape up or ship out.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
She lifts her chin. “Sure you are.”
“Vik, we’ve never been best friends, but we have always been civil. With Mich gone most of the time, we’ve all taken on extra duties.”
“I know that.”
“Then why have you”—I look at the screen and count her late days—“showed up late twelve days this month?”
She shrugs.
I look at the screen again. “Five days you didn’t even bother to come in.”
“I’m getting married.”
“To Ethan?”
“Of course.”
“Wow. That’s—congratulations.”
“I knew you wouldn’t be happy for me.”
I don’t know what I am. Shocked, I guess. “No. I am. I’m just—I guess I’m trying to understand why this would make you late or not show for work.”
“I’m late because Ethan keeps me up at night,” she says and pauses as if waiting for my reaction.
When I don’t give her one, she says, “I’m not showing because I’m knee- deep in planning a wedding. It’s a full-time job.”
“I…” I have no idea what to think or say about this. “Vik, what you do with your life is your business. But if you can’t do both, maybe you should quit. We can’t keep on taking up your slack, and Mich can’t afford to hire someone unless you quit.”
She tilts her chin higher as her lower lip trembles. Vik is in her late thirties, but in many ways, she acts like a rebellious teenager. “I need this job.”
“And we need you.”
She wipes tears from the corners of her eyes.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just need you to understand that you’re about to lose your job.”
“I need this job.”
“And like I said, we need you.”
“I’ll show up and be on time from now on.”
“I hope so.”
“Is that all?”
There’s no way I can warn her off Ethan without risking him finding out that I remember everything that went down in the cave. But I can ask if she’s okay. “Is everything good with you and Ethan?”
“What do you mean?”
“He hasn’t hurt you, has he?”
“Only in ways I want to be hurt.”
TMI! “Well, that’s good—I mean, that he’s not causing you harm.”
She stands. “Are we done?”
“Yeah. We’re done.”
“Kat mentioned that you and Mark are having everyone over for brunch tomorrow.”
“We are.”
“Would it be okay if we came?”
“You and Ethan?”
She nods.
“I—sure, why not? The more the merrier, right?”
“Can I bring anyth
ing?”
“Orange juice,” I say without thinking.
She nods. “I can do that.”
“Great.”
She leaves, and I lean back into my chair. I’m upset and unnerved by her declaration. Why? You should be happy and relieved.
As I sit on my favorite log, watching Mark, Gary, Tad, and Kat paddle out on their boards, I can’t help but notice a storm brewing further down the beach. Vik and Ethan’s words spoken and unspoken carry with the wind.
Vik called and asked me not to mention her engagement. She said Ethan wants to tell his daughter and his family first. Her call validated what I’d already suspected; her relationship with Ethan isn’t what she claims.
But it doesn’t matter what I think, nor do I want to hurt Vik, so I promised her I wouldn’t say anything. Unfortunately, I’d already told Mark, and he took her situation as a well-deserved payback. He and Vik had been good friends until she felt the need to open his closet door before he was ready. He’s never forgiven her, and after over a month of taking advantage of everyone at the pub and generally acting like a bitch, he finally had enough. He knew her relationship with Ethan was different, that she’d fallen hard. So he congratulated Ethan on his engagement as we all sat at the table.
By Ethan’s surprised expression and quick scowl in Vik’s direction, it was clear this was the first he’d heard of it. I expected him to call Vik out on her lie, but he didn’t. He thanked Mark and everyone for their well wishes and continued to eat his eggs. His neutral, almost nonreaction disturbed me more than if he’d picked up his plate and threw it against the wall. A normal person would, at the very least, excuse himself. It was yet another reminder that he isn’t normal.
The storm soon dies and I watch as a mad and crying Vik walks passed me without saying a word. I get up and go after her. “Vik?”
She stops and turns.
“Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
She wipes tears off her cheeks. “No.”
“Can I drive you home?”
“No. I’d like to walk. I need to cool down and think.”
“Are you sure?”
She nods. “It’s only a mile. I’ll be fine.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”