by Tang Qi
I felt frustrated. “Yes, I am tired. Really tired,” I said through gritted teeth.
Ye Hua’s general philosophy was not to put off until tomorrow what you could do today. Since living with me in Qingqiu, he had spent most of his time in the study with these documents of his that kept him so busy that he barely had time to pause for breath. Despite all the drama we had been through, Ye Hua’s official, Jia Yun, did not seem to be in the position to cut him any slack. These official documents were still raining down from the sky as heavily as ever.
When you took yesterday’s pile of documents and added them to today’s batch, it looked as if poor Ye Hua probably would not have a moment’s sleep all night. He was obviously not lying in my bed just to stifle me, but to have a rest and revive his own spirits.
When mortals in the mortal world did seriously bad deeds, they were beheaded as a punishment. Before they were beheaded, they would always be given a good meal, which they could eat in comfort before meeting the guillotine. Likewise, I imagined that Ye Hua needed a nice rest to recover his energy before returning to his study to deal with those two days’ worth of documents. So I resigned myself to a nap, planning to wait until he had taken his rest and left before transforming back into human form and going off to Yanhua Cave.
I did not imagine that my scheme would fail. I really was running on limited energy, and in only a few minutes, my head started to feel fuzzy and unfocused.
Half between sleep and waking, somewhere between floating and sinking, I had a dream.
It was a dream I had been trying to have for tens of thousands of years with no success. And today I finally had it.
I dreamed of Mo Yuan.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I spent the first thousand years after Mo Yuan’s soul passed waiting, feeling anxious and upset. Each night I hoped that I might dream of him so I could ask him when he was coming back. Each night before I went to sleep, I would make sure this question was in my heart. I would think it over five or six times so that the words were firmly in my mind. I was afraid that seeing Mo Yuan in the dream would overwhelm me with emotion and cause me to forget my question. But I never had this dream, and the idea gradually started to fade from my mind.
I had thought so hard about this old question that when I finally had the dream after seventy thousand years, the question was still so firmly in my mind that I was finally able to ask it.
The dream started with Zhe Yan taking me to begin my apprenticeship with Master in Mount Kunlun.
I had just celebrated my fifty thousandth birthday and was the same age that Ye Hua is now. Mother had given birth to four sons before me. I was her youngest child and the daughter she had always wanted. I had been born with my eye condition and was quite a feeble infant, and my family tended to fuss over me. My four brothers were given a lot of freedom and could generally do as they pleased. But not me. Everything I did was strictly controlled, and the only two places I was allowed to roam were the foxhole in Qingqiu and Zhe Yan’s Ten-Mile Peach Grove. I struggled on like this for twenty thousand years, and even though I grew stronger and more robust, Father and Mother continued to worry.
After my twenty thousandth birthday, Father and Mother started to get called away from Qingqiu on a regular basis, and they put Fourth Brother in charge of me. Fourth Brother was renowned for his martial arts expertise, and he appeared gentle and obedient on the surface, but underneath he could be quite a troublemaker.
I really looked up to Fourth Brother.
After Father had instructed Fourth Brother to look after me, the young boy had sat outside the entrance to the foxhole with a stick of dog-tail grass in his mouth. He looked at me kindly and said, “From now on I’ll be looking after you. Any time I climb a tree and scoop up an egg from a nest, I will share it with you. Any time I go to a lake and catch a fish, it will be your fish too.”
Fourth Brother and I soon became very close.
Zhe Yan had taken Fourth Brother under his wing by then, and we only needed to mention Zhe Yan’s name and any trouble we had stirred up would be resolved. I scampered around Qingqiu for thirty thousand years in Fourth Brother’s care without a worry in the world.
When Father and Mother returned, they started to worry about my schooling. I was their only daughter, and they wished for me to be gentle, gracious, elegant, and generous, but I was developing the opposite of all these traits.
My behavior back then did not impress Mother much. In fact it used to cause her great worry. Her main concern was that I would not find a husband. She spent a couple of weeks in seclusion in the foxhole to think things over, and one day she had an epiphany. She realized that while I might not be the most obedient of girls, I had been blessed with a pretty face and was likely to find a husband without too much trouble. After realizing this, Mother found some peace.
Her sense of peace did not last long. Mystic Gorge relayed some gossip about the daughter of the Zhu Yin family who lived in the water residence at the foot of the next mountain. Newly married little Zhu Yin had lost her mother when she was still very young, which affected her upbringing and made her quite headstrong. Her new mother-in-law disliked her and would find any little excuse to reprimand her. Little Zhu Yin could not bear being treated that way, and after less than three months in her husband’s family, she returned to her family home, weeping and wailing.
Hearing how badly little Zhu Yin had suffered under her new mother-in-law and knowing the way I was destroyed Mother’s newfound sense of peace, and she became increasingly distraught.
Now she was convinced that although I would probably find a husband, with my character I would probably receive at least three daily beatings from my new mother-in-law. Imagining my future torment, Mother burst into tears.
Zhe Yan visited the foxhole on one occasion and found Mother quietly wiping away her tears. She told him what was wrong. He thought it through and sighed. “That girl’s character is already set in stone,” he said. “You won’t be able to change it now. What she needs is a useful skill. If she arrives at her future husband’s household with magic that is unrivaled by anyone, she can behave with as much naivety and arrogance as she wants and no one will ever lay a hand on her.”
Mother’s eyes lit up when she heard this. After thinking long and hard, she decided to find me a master so that I could start an apprenticeship.
Mother was an ambitious woman. She decided that if she was going to find me a master, it better not be in vain. It would have to be the best master in the whole of the Four Seas and Eight Deserts.
She carried out research for a number of weeks before finally setting her sights on Mo Yuan, Mount Kunlun’s God of War. I had never met Mo Yuan, but I was familiar with the name.
By the time Fourth Brother and I were born, there were no longer many battles being waged within the Four Seas and Eight Deserts.
The odd one would break out every so often, but these tended to be small and insignificant. Members of the older generations would occasionally talk about the great battles that stemmed from when Pangu split the sky from the earth, and yin separated from yang. They talked about the fury that shook the Eight Deserts, how the Four Seas had turned red with blood, how men had dropped like flies on the battlefield, giving up their lives so that these battles might be won. Fourth Brother and I would listen in rapt attention as they told us these tales.
Many books had been passed down through members of the God Clan, recording these ancient wars, which Fourth Brother and I would pore over, engrossed. We took frequent trips to the houses of immortal friends to borrow their books, and whenever I found a rare edition, I would be sure to lend it out to them to read too.
Mo Yuan’s name was mentioned again and again throughout these books, and the sky officials who had written them were all effusive with praise for his godly bearing and military might. They commented on his mysterious crystal armor and his immortal Xuan Yuan sword and called him the undefeated God of War.
Fourth Brother and I adore
d him, and when the two of us were alone, we would discuss his commanding presence and military prowess as well as his amazing magical powers.
We devoted many years to carrying out this research on him. We imagined Mo Yuan as a god with four heads, one facing in each direction, eyes like round brass bells, ears as big as palm-leaf fans, a square forehead, a wide mouth, spine and shoulders as thick and broad as mountains, and arms and legs as strong and stocky as pillars. Whenever he exhaled, a hurricane ravaged the plains, and whenever he stamped his foot, the earth shook.
We had considered every aspect. We gave deep thought to how such a supreme being might exhibit his supreme agility, his supremely keen senses, his supreme powers of defense and attack. Having outlined Mo Yuan’s godly bearing and military attributes, we were feeling inspired, and the two of us ran over to find Second Brother, who excelled at painting portraits. We begged him to draw a couple of portraits of Mo Yuan so that we could hang them on our walls to kneel and bow down to every day.
My strong admiration for Mo Yuan meant I was ecstatic to hear that he was going to be my master. Fourth Brother wanted to come with me, but Zhe Yan said no, and Fourth Brother stayed in the foxhole for days and days in a foul mood.
Zhe Yan and I rode on a lucky cloud for some hours before finally arriving at the foot of an immortal mountain deep in a forest. This mountain was different from the ones at Qingqiu and the ones at the Ten-Mile Peach Grove, and I was very excited to be somewhere new.
The first people we came across were the immortal children guarding the entrance to the mountain. They met us and led us into a spacious hall where a man in a black cloak was sitting with his chin in his hands and his elbows on the table and a calm expression on his rather effeminate face.
When Zhe Yan took me inside Mount Kunlun and greeted this man with girlish features with the words “Mo Yuan, it’s been seven thousand years!” I felt as if I had been dealt a heavy blow. Could those slender eyes possibly see thousands of miles into the distance? Was there any chance those dainty ears could hear what was happening at all eight points of the compass? Could those thin lips emit a sound that would command people’s attention? And with that meager physique, would he even be able to lift up the Xuan Yuan sword, the Eight Deserts’ weapon of the gods?
I felt deceived by all those books and their claims about Mo Yuan’s brilliant feats. My faith crumbled and was replaced by an overwhelming sense of emptiness. I took Zhe Yan’s hand, feeling distraught.
Zhe Yan handed me over to Mo Yuan with a carefully constructed web of fabrications, all spoken with utter sincerity. “This child has no mother or father,” he lied. “He was dying in a ditch when I saw him. He only had one breath of air left in his lungs, and his fur was so matted that not one hair on his body remained upright. It was only after washing him that I was able to see that he was a white fox cub. I’ve been looking after him for fifty thousand years now,” he continued.
“He’s blossomed of late and become extremely handsome, which has made him the object of bitter jealousy within my household. I’ve had no choice but to bring him here to you,” he explained. “He has suffered greatly, and even though I dote on him, he’s a naughty fellow, and I hoped you might have an idea about what to do with him.”
I was surprised that Zhe Yan had managed to fool anyone with this nonsense. Listening to his lies made me feel sad and a little disturbed. Mo Yuan sat there the whole time, listening quietly.
Mo Yuan seemed to buy Zhe Yan’s story, and he accepted me as his apprentice. Looking very pleased with himself, Zhe Yan bid farewell to Mo Yuan and asked me to come and see him off. As we reached the road outside the mountain, Zhe Yan issued me a word of warning: “You may have a boy’s body now, but you still mustn’t wash with your fellow apprentices. You mustn’t allow them to take advantage. You need to retain a young woman’s modesty.” I hung my head and nodded.
Mo Yuan looked after me extremely well, but I continued to resent him for lacking what I considered to be a heroic appearance, and his affection meant little to me.
I did not start to revere Mo Yuan until I stumbled into my first pitfall, an encounter that caused me serious injury.
It had started with Zhe Yan’s wine.
Zhe Yan made wonderful wine, and doting upon Fourth Brother as he did, he would give a lot of it to him. Because Fourth Brother and I were so close, I always got to share it. I would make regular trips to the peach grove’s wine cellar, and over time I developed a real fondness for it. I felt guilty for taking so much of Zhe Yan’s wine, and every time I went to a banquet and was in the company of immortal friends, I would make sure to sing his praises.
Zhe Yan may have been an exceptional winemaker, but he still had room for improvement. But I was young and naive and prone to exaggeration and would often come out with boastful statements at these banquets, about how wine like his could not be found anywhere else. Naturally some other wine experts had different opinions, but if they offered the name of any other winemaker and suggested they had superior skills, it would leave me feeling completely crushed.
Mount Kunlun’s Sixteenth Apprentice, Zi Lan, would often take this stance. Even now I stand by my opinion that Zi Lan was petty to argue with me like that. My other fellow apprentices would recognize my exaggerated and excessive praise of Zhe Yan as youthful swagger, and just listen with a smile. Even when they disagreed, they kept in mind that I was the youngest apprentice, and let me off the hook.
Zi Lan was different. He would pout so much that you could have hung an oil pitcher off his lips. He would give a dismissive snort, and after a lot of tutting, he would say, “It couldn’t be better than the wine Master makes, surely?”
Because of my scorn toward Mo Yuan, I hated hearing people praise him, and Zi Lan’s oppositional stance served to fan the flame of my fury. I started hatching a plan to get Zi Lan to admit that Mo Yuan’s wine was inferior to Zhe Yan’s in front of all our fellow apprentices so that I could show up Mo Yuan’s incompetence once and for all.
It was a simple idea, really. All I had to do was break into Mount Kunlun’s wine cellar and steal a jug of Mo Yuan’s wine. I would take this wine to Zhe Yan, who could use it as a sample to make a jug that was a hundred or maybe even a thousand times better. I would bring back this jug and give it Zi Lan, who would be forced to admit its superiority.
Mount Kunlun’s wine cellar was not well guarded, and I managed to sneak in and get my hands on a jar without any trouble. The underhanded nature of this operation meant that I could not very well walk back through the main mountain entrance, and so I walked through the peach grove at the back peak of the mountain instead, from where I planned to summon a lucky cloud and soar over to Zhe Yan’s.
But I managed to get myself lost within this peach grove. After a long time trying to find my way out, I became exhausted and started to feel quite thirsty. Realizing I was carrying a jar of Mo Yuan’s wine, I decided to sip some to quench my thirst.
After one sip I started to feel hazy. It was only a small sip, but the flavor seeped in and spread throughout my mouth. I felt it burning as it slid down my throat. Zhe Yan really would have to up his game if his wine was going to compete on this level.
Mo Yuan was indeed a skilled winemaker. Fury filled my chest. I realized there was no point taking this wine over to Zhe Yan. I sat there for a while, fuming, before guzzling down the whole jar of wine, every last drop.
My head went dizzy, and I saw stars in front of my eyes. I leaned my head against a peach tree and fell straight asleep.
I woke up in an unusual way. Not naturally with the sun or with First Apprentice shaking me awake. I was woken up by having a basin of ice-cold water poured down onto me. It ripped me from my dreams and woke me with a start.
It was early spring, and the snow was just starting to melt, and the water that hit me must have been recently melted snow. It soaked through my clothes, and I responded with a loud, high-pitched sneeze.
I saw a woman sitting on an ebony chair
. She took a sip of tea from a porcelain cup, put the cup down, and gave me a cold, impassive look. Serving girls with bowl haircuts were standing on either side of her ebony chair.
The first day I had arrived at Mount Kunlun, my fellow apprentices had warned me never to incur the wrath of the girls with the bowl haircuts. Even though they had been so rude, pouring cold water on my head, as a Mount Kunlun apprentice, I was required to remain courteous. It was the serving girls of the goddess Yao Guang, who had their hair cut in this style and were often found wandering around Mount Kunlun, and so I surmised that this must be who I was dealing with.
Yao Guang was usually a gentle and mild goddess apparently, but in wartime she was known to be fierce and brutal. She had always cared deeply for Master Mo Yuan, but over the years this unrequited love had intensified, and she had moved her immortal residence near to Mount Kunlun and would send her immortal serving girls over to Mount Kunlun every few days to stir up trouble. Her aim was to rile up Mo Yuan so that he would fight with her. She thought that if he saw her military might, she might win him over.
Despite all her efforts, Mo Yuan had failed to take the bait. He instructed his apprentices to treat her underlings with extreme courtesy, and to do our best to remain patient and tolerant toward them.
Seeing the serving girls with their bowl haircuts, I realized that the woman sitting on the ebony chair drinking tea must be Yao Guang, the goddess who was in love with Mo Yuan.
She had tied me up while I was drunk and asleep, obviously hoping that this would finally be enough to rile up Mo Yuan so much that he would engage with her in battle.
Goddess Yao Guang gave her right-hand immortal serving girl a look, and the serving girl responded by giving a loud cough and starting to admonish me. “Mount Kunlun is the most pure and sacred land in the Four Seas and Eight Deserts,” she said, her voice full of fury. “How did such an effeminate he-fox muddle his way inside and manage to seduce Mo Yuan?”