by Tang Qi
I reached out to take the fan, bursting with joy, but emitting an indifferent humph to hide this fact. We headed back to the foxhole, Zhe Yan and Fourth Brother walking in front, while Ye Hua and I brought up the rear.
“I was surprised to see you getting so irate from just a few teasing words,” Ye Hua said in a quiet, pensive voice. “Zhe Yan obviously has quite a talent.”
I covered my mouth to yawn. “It has nothing to do with talent. He’s much older than me, which means I am perfectly within my right to get angry with him. If it were some younger immortal who had said something to offend me, I would be unlikely to argue back, not at my age.”
“I only hope you feel you could argue and discuss things with me,” Ye Hua said after a moment’s silence. I felt my mouth about to open for a second yawn, but I managed to swallow it down instead.
Mystic Gorge was waiting for us in front of the foxhole. It was already past nine, and most households were extinguishing their lamps and climbing into bed by now. I felt guilty to have kept him up so late worrying.
When he saw me, he started to walk over. He bowed, and his face turned from green to black. “Demon Emperor Li Jing left a calling card. He wishes to see you, Your Highness. He’s been waiting in the mouth of the valley for a while now.”
Ye Hua stopped walking and gave a frown. “What can he want now?” he asked.
Zhe Yan grabbed Fourth Brother by the back of the collar just as he was about to enter the cave. “The gods are obviously smiling down on us today. We have timed our trip well. We have stumbled upon what promises to be a spot of genuine drama,” he said with a laugh.
I walked toward the cave without breaking my stride. “Throw the fool out,” I instructed Mystic Gorge in an even voice. Trembling, Mystic Gorge said, “He’s waiting at the mouth of the valley, Your Highness. He has not stepped inside.”
“I see,” I said with a nod. “Leave him as he is in that case.”
Zhe Yan was visibly itching for drama, and my placid response was akin to stamping on the fire of his hope. But before all the embers were put out, he made a last attempt to cajole me into action. “All issues of love and hate need to be resolved. By dragging it out you are just inviting trouble. Why delay when you can seize the day? Why don’t we all go down there now and settle it once and for all?”
Ye Hua gave him a cold look. I rubbed my forehead thoughtfully and said, “Everything that needs be resolved has been resolved. I have no outstanding issues to discuss with him. This is obviously a matter that interests you greatly, and if you wish to go and see him, I will ask Mystic Gorge to light you a candle.”
With a swish the last sparks of hope in Zhe Yan’s eyes died. He gave a disappointed sigh. “We’ve gone to a lot of trouble to make this trip. Would it have hurt you to provide us with a bit of excitement?”
We did not often host guests at the foxhole, and only had one regular guest bedroom, which Ye Hua was currently occupying. Big Brother’s and Second Brother’s old rooms had grown dusty over time. But Zhe Yan was happy to share Fourth Brother’s room with him, and this seemed to go some way toward making up for his disappointment on being denied any drama.
I followed Mystic Gorge into the house to rest, but he was going to try to stay awake to wait for Bi Fang, who was still out searching for me. I kept him company for a while, but after a few yawns, Ye Hua took me by the arm and led me off to bed.
I felt very happy to see that virtuous Mystic Gorge had prepared me a large pot of hot water so that I could bathe before I slept.
Ye Hua knocked on my bedroom door the next morning and told me we should set off for the Sky Palace soon. I had taken such a long nap the afternoon before that I had been yawning nonstop by the evening, but when I actually got into bed, I had not slept very well at all, and as soon as I heard Ye Hua’s footsteps, I was wide-awake.
He was already packed. I walked around my room, picking out a couple of changes of clothes as well as my new fan.
Over the years I had wandered far and wide over the Four Seas and Eight Deserts, but this would be my first trip to the Ninth Sky. This rare opportunity made possible by Ye Hua would also give me the chance to have a leisurely wander around the kingdom. Even though I was still physically injured, my fox heart was starting to feel excited.
There was only one path in and out of Qingqiu Kingdom. Whether you were soaring on a cloud or traveling by foot, you had to pass the crescent-moon-shaped mouth of the eastern valley. Ye Hua did enjoy his morning strolls, so I bowed to his preference, and rather than summoning a lucky cloud straightaway, we set off toward the mouth of the valley on foot.
The mouth of the valley was the border between the mortal and immortal worlds, and half of it was a mist of propitious vapors, the other half a haze of red dust. The essences of these two worlds had been pushing against each other for so long that the area was a constant haze of dense fog.
I could make out a figure standing within this dense fog, dressed in a silvery-purple robe. He had an extraordinarily handsome face, which showed a lot of emotion. It was Li Jing.
He looked surprised to see me. “I never thought you’d agree to see me, Si Yin,” he said slowly. I was just as surprised: I had not expected him to still be there.
In the past, he had waited for me at the foot of Mount Kunlun for more than a week, but he had been nothing but an idle prince back then, and all he would have been doing otherwise was cavorting with concubines or watching cockfights and dog races at the Purple Light Palace. It was very different now that he was the Demon Clan Emperor, and I was astonished he could spare all this time.
Ye Hua stood there, his face expressionless. He glanced at me. “Zhe Yan was right about what he said last night,” he said in a breezy tone of voice. “It’s better to resolve things as early as possible. Just because it’s resolved in your mind doesn’t mean it has actually been resolved. Issues like this require both parties to come together to deal with things once and for all and make a clean break.”
I gave a surprised laugh. “This is a complicated topic. You sound like you have some experience in that field.” He looked taken aback, and his face went strangely pale.
I sat down on one of the marble stools set out at the mouth of the valley. Ye Hua understood. “I’m going to walk on ahead and wait for you there,” he said, wandering off.
Li Jing took a couple of steps toward me and gave a reluctant smile. “I’m relieved to see that you are all right,” he said. “Your injuries aren’t causing serious problems, are they?”
I drew up my sleeves to cover my hands. “I’m sorry to have caused you worry, Demon Emperor,” I said calmly. “This old body of mine is a hardy one. It’s nothing but a few minor injuries, no lasting damage.”
He let out a relieved breath and said, “Oh, that’s good news.” He took something from his sleeve and held it in front of me. I lifted my eyes and saw a lustrous pool of jade. It was the artifact that I had asked for and been denied all those years ago: the Jade Soul.
My fan clattered to the ground. “Demon Emperor, why are you giving me this?” I asked, lifting my head.
He gave an anguished laugh. “Si Yin, I had a lapse of judgment back then. Please take the Jade Soul, place it inside Mo Yuan’s mouth. That way you’ll no longer need to feed him those cups of heart blood.”
I looked at him for a while and gave a laugh. “Demon Emperor, I appreciate the intention behind your kind act, but Master’s immortal body hasn’t needed my blood nourishment for five hundred years now. Take this sacred artifact back for the Demon Clan.”
Around five hundred years ago, I had locked Qing Cang back inside the Eastern Desert Bell and slept for 213 years as a result. During that time, I had been unable to provide blood nourishment for Mo Yuan’s immortal body. The first thing I did when I woke up was rush to check on him. I was so worried about what might have happened to him that my hands and feet were like ice blocks. But I discovered that Mo Yuan’s immortal body was in a well-nourished state, even witho
ut my blood.
Li Jing was still holding the Jade Soul out to me, looking awkward with his hand in midair. Finally he put the artifact away quietly, with an air of disappointment. “Si Yin, we’ll . . . we’ll never be able to go back to how it was, will we?” he asked hoarsely.
His voice came out as hazy as the fog surrounding us. It had an ethereal quality to it. I searched deep into my memory and managed to conjure up an image of Li Jing as a young boy. He had inherited his father’s looks, and his eyes had become even more concentrated in their feminine beauty, but he was much more pleasant and confident than his father. He had a constantly flushed and cheerful face.
Hearing him sound so pitiful made me much less unhappy about running into him. I thought back over everything that had ever happened between us, all those hours we had spent together, all the things we had shared. It felt as if it had taken place in another lifetime entirely. I felt calm and composed. There would be no more ripples or waves and certainly no going back.
I was quietly wishing for an overcast sky. I was unable to hold back from saying, “Demon Emperor, this is nothing but some unresolved issues of the heart. I have already explained that you will always be chasing after what you can’t have. The only reason you are throwing yourself before me now is because having been abandoned by you, I failed to find a place to bash my head against the ground in order to end my life. Instead, I’m alive and doing well. From that you conclude that I was never really in love with you, and that’s the reason you’ve chosen to come here today and make things complicated . . .”
The corners of his eyes had reddened, which looked dramatic against the rest of his pale face. He did not respond; he just looked at me with a serious expression.
I calmed my mind and opened my fan, running a finger along the painted peach flowers on its surface. “This is the last time we will sit down together and speak like this,” I said softly. “There are a couple of things I would therefore like to explain.
“Seventy thousand years ago you gave me my first taste of love. Because it was my first experience of love, I was passive and reserved. But there was so much love flowing out of my heart. Mother always worried about my strange temperament. She thought that I was unlovable, and if it were not for our Bai family prestige, I wouldn’t have a chance of finding a husband.
“But you didn’t know who my family was, or even that I was actually a woman, but you started to like me all the same. Day after day you would deliver me those love poems, and you even dismissed all your bedchamber concubines. Those acts filled me with happiness and gratitude. We members of the White Fox Clan are not like most land mammals. We are much more passionate and loving, and when we find a partner, we mate for life.
“I thought that the two of us would become lifelong companions. I had thought that once I’d completed my apprenticeship, we might wed. If Xuan Nu hadn’t come along . . .
“We both knew about the bad blood between our clans. But after we got together, I would spend my days thinking about how in the future I might convince Father and Mother to agree to our marriage. Each time I thought of a good reason, I would be filled with glee and would write it onto a piece of silk in fear that I might forget it. Before long I had a whole foot of silk covered in tiny characters. How foolish it all seems looking back at it now.”
Li Jing’s lips quivered.
I continued to stroke the fan. “What did you think that Xuan Nu could do for you that I, Bai Qian, future goddess of Qingqiu, couldn’t? But what a huge blow you delivered me, right when my love was blazing at its strongest. I was such a wreck after you went off with her, and the pain in my heart consumed me.
“My only regret was being foolish enough to trust Xuan Nu heart and soul and giving her the opportunity to tempt you away. I was just going to slap her across the cheek, nothing more, but the way you protected her . . . Do you know how much that hurt me? And that thing you said, ‘It was ridiculous of me to think I could be a homosexual . . . ,’ that hurt me even more. You just abandoned me, focusing on your own happiness and pleasure without a second thought for my sadness and suffering. Not everyone lets pain and sadness show openly on their face, Li Jing. But even though I kept mine hidden, that doesn’t mean it hurt me any less.
“I always thought that I would one day be your wife, but that turned out to be nothing more than a joke. Every night I’d have the same nightmare in which you would be holding Xuan Nu and pushing me off Mount Kunlun. It was during the time that I was having these nightmares that I heard how your four qilin beasts had carried Xuan Nu into the Purple Light Palace, where she became your bride, and how the wedding celebration had gone on for nine days straight. It may sound foolish, but even though I sound free and easy when I say these things, even after everything that’s happened, I still have thoughts about you that I know I shouldn’t.
“The Demon Clan Revolt happened soon after. Xuan Nu stumbled over to us, having suffered under Qing Cang’s whip, and was carried up to Mount Kunlun. I was secretly happy, and every spare moment I would turn my mind looking for excuses for you, trying to convince myself that you couldn’t really love Xuan Nu or you wouldn’t have let her suffer like that. I managed to use these delusional thoughts to console myself. Later I discovered that it had been nothing but a confidence trick, that your clan had injured her just to gain our trust. Li Jing, you don’t want to know my thoughts when I discovered that. Later my master passed. I gathered up every ounce of confidence I had left, and with my crushed heart, I marched into the big Purple Light Palace to plead with you to lend me the Jade Soul. You’ll never understand how much courage I had to drum up to do that, or how devastated your response made me. You say you were jealous of Master and that’s why you denied me the Jade Soul. But, Li Jing, you hurt me so badly. Your devotion to me was not one-ten-thousandth of that shown to me by Master. I was in Yanhua Cave, and I had lost a lot of blood. My injuries were so bad that my life was hanging in the balance. It wasn’t your face that flashed through my mind, however. That’s when I knew that my heartbreak was finally over. That’s when I knew I was free.”
Li Jing closed his eyes tightly, and when he eventually opened them again, they were completely bloodshot. “Si Yin, please don’t say any more,” he said, choking up.
I put away my fan with reluctance. “Li Jing, you’re the only man I’ve loved in all my one hundred forty thousand years. But the twists and turns of time change us, and we can never go back.”
He was trembling. Finally two streams of tears started to roll down his cheeks. “I’ve learned all this far too late,” he said in an anguished voice. “You are no longer where you were waiting for me.”
I nodded. There was no reason to worry about trouble from the Demon Clan in the future. As we were about to part ways, I gave a sigh. “In the future we will be like strangers,” I said.
“We shall not see each other again.” He bid me farewell and was gone.
The fog had cleared by then. Ye Hua was standing some way off, waiting for me. “They were obviously very sweet words, but upsetting coming from you.”
I managed to force a smile.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
There were no sky soldiers standing guard when we arrived at the Ninth Sky’s southern gate, just a couple of tigers napping nearby, their orange-and-black fur sleek and shiny. With one glance you could tell that they were spirit creatures with extraordinary levels of cultivated spiritual energy.
“We may not have much defense at Qingqiu, but at least we have Mystic Gorge sitting there to watch over the place,” I teased Ye Hua, tapping my fan. “Don’t tell me your kingdom’s most sacred realm only gets a couple of tigers?”
“The old Taoist prince is hosting an altar sermon at today’s Taoist assembly. I expect they’re all attending that,” he said with a frown. He turned, gave a faint laugh, and said, “Qian Qian, I heard that you had regular discussions about Taoism with Yuan Zhen when you were down in the mortal world, helping him pass his calamity. I presume this means yo
u have a deep knowledge and understanding of Taoism. The old Taoist prince has been complaining for years now about how there is no one in the sky who can rival him on the subject of Taoism and how lonely it has been standing on that high peak by himself out of everyone else’s reach for so long. But now that you’re here, what a wonderful opportunity for you two to hold a discussion or two.”
I swallowed. “That’s very kind of you,” I said with an awkward laugh.
Outside the Ninth Sky’s southern gate, there were boundless stretches of white clouds for as far as the eye could see, while within the gates it was a completely different story. The ground was made of gold, the steps of jade stone, the paths flanked by an emerald-green bamboo grove, and a thousand trails of propitious vapors. It completely surpassed the glitzy gold of the Water Crystal Palaces of all Four Seas. Luckily I had expected this and had tied the white silk around my head as a precaution. My eyes would have probably been destroyed by now otherwise. Every so often I heard the distinct call of a crane and the flapping of wings as one flew overhead. I gave an ardent sigh and took Ye Hua’s hands. “Your family is so wealthy!” I exclaimed.
Ye Hua’s face turned first white, then green. “Not all the palace quarters in the Ninth Sky are quite like this one,” he explained. As we walked along, I paid close attention to the extravagant splendor of the Ninth Sky, so different from the terraced rice paddies and farmhouses of Qingqiu, although these were charming in their own way.
The few palace attendants we came across were all extremely circumspect and polite. None of them acted in the slightest bit taken aback by my strange silk-bound face. I was delighted to see them all acting with such deference as they paid their respects to Ye Hua.
I had heard that Ye Hua had been given his own government department and army to command when he was only thirty thousand years old, and it was at this time that the Sky Emperor had built him Xiwu Palace, as a gift.