With a hesitant step his mother walked toward him. “I'm sorry, Brad. I—I misunderstood … I'm afraid this has all been very hard for me too. I just never expected you to marry someone … different. I thought you'd marry someone here, someone we knew.”
“But I didn't. And it's not fair to punish Serena for it.”
“Tell me.” His mother looked at him with interest. “Did she tell you this herself?”
“No, you see, Serena loves me too much to put herself between you and me. She confided in Teddy, and he told me.”
“I see. Did she say anything else?”
He looked at his mother strangely. “Is there more to tell?” Could his mother have done more? Had he been right to worry about Serena's obvious upset the day before? “Is there something I should know?”
“No, not at all.” With relief she realized that Serena hadn't told him, not that it would have changed anything. She wouldn't have given that paper up to anyone now. The paper Serena had signed was already in her vault. She was still convinced that Serena was after his money, and years later when she left him and tried to soak him, his mother would save the day with the paper she had had the foresight to force Serena to sign. One day he would thank her.
He had one more thing to tell her. “I think, under the circumstances, that it will be better if we leave today, after the wedding. I'll try to get a compartment on the night train to Chicago, and if I can't, we can stay in a hotel and leave in the morning.”
“You can't do that.” Suddenly her eyes blazed.
“Why not?”
“Because I want you here. You haven't been home for any decent amount of time in years.”
“You should have thought of that before you declared war on Serena.”
Her eyes were angry and cruel and bitter. “You're my son, and you'll do what I tell you.”
Brad's voice was oddly quiet. “I'm afraid you're wrong. I'm a grown man with a wife and family of my own. I am not your puppet. Father may be, and my poor weak brother, but I'm not, and don't you ever forget it.”
“How can you talk to me this way? How dare you!” Brad took a careful step toward her. “Mother, stay out of my life or you'll regret it.”
“Brad!”
But he said nothing as he turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
25
Serena was sedately led to her seat by her brother-in-law Teddy, in St. James Church on Madison Avenue, in New York, at exactly ten minutes before eleven. The church was filled with towering trees of white flowers and everywhere there were garlands of fragrant white blossoms, lily of the valley, fressia, white roses, tiny spicy white carnations, with mists of white baby's breath intertwined among the larger flowers. There were white satin ribbons threaded between the trees, and a long white satin runner down the aisle. But the atmosphere in the church was solemn more than festive, and on either side of the aisle were elegantly dressed women and men in dark suits or striped trousers, there were large flowered hats and bright colors, and old people and young faces, as the organ began to play softly. Serena had been placed in a pew by herself, and a few moments later two imposing-looking dowagers joined her. One wore an elaborate crepe dress in deep purple, with amethyst brooches, and a huge rope of pearls, and a lorgnette through which she frequently glanced at Serena. The lady with her was more somberly dressed, but her quiet gray silk suit was highlighted by several very large diamonds. Here and there Serena saw familiar faces from the rehearsal dinner, and at frequent intervals she found herself glancing at Teddy, as though for comfort. She had only known him for a few days, and yet she already thought of him as someone she loved and could depend on. He stopped near where she was sitting once, squeezed her shoulder gently, and went back to his duties.
And at exactly one minute to eleven the huge front doors were closed, the organ began to play more loudly, and there was a sudden hush in the church, unbroken even by whispers, and as though by magic the ushers and bridesmaids began to appear, in a solemn procession of cutaways and striped trousers and organdy dresses in palest peach. There were picture hats to match, and the dresses were so lovely that Serena gazed at them in fascination. They had enormous Victorian sleeves and high necks, tiny waists, and full skirts with elegant little trains. Each bridesmaid carried a bouquet of tiny roses in the same color, and when the last of the bridesmaids had passed by and the flower girl appeared, she was wearing a miniature version of the same dress, except that the sleeves were tiny round puffs and there was no train over which she could fall. She carried a silver basket filled with rose petals, and she had an angelic face, as she giggled at her brother who wore a short black velvet suit and solemnly carried a velvet cushion on which lay both rings. Serena smiled at the children with damp eyes, and then turned to see who came behind them, and as she did she caught her breath at the vision that stood there. It was a fairy princess in a dress of lace so magnificent that Serena thought she had never seen anything like it. It was obviously an heirloom. A gasp and a murmur ran through the church as Pattie stood there in the high-necked full-sleeved gown of her great-grandmother. The dress was well over a hundred years old. There was a short necklace of exquisite diamonds that she wore at her neck, a tiny tiara that had been made to match, and pearls and diamonds glittered in her ears, and all around her hung a cloud of veil that seemed to sweep behind her for miles, covering her train and most of the aisle as she marched regally by on her father's arm. It was impossible not to feel dwarfed beside her, her dark beauty in sharp contrast to the soft white, and Serena was absolutely certain that she was the most beautiful bride she had ever seen. It was impossible to associate, even for a moment, this totally perfect scene with all that Brad had told her about Partie. This couldn't be the same woman, Serena found herself thinking. This was a goddess, a fairy princess. It was she who looked like a principessa, Serena mused as she sat there. And then with a heavy heart she realized that it was she who could have been Brad's wife. He could have been the groom at this wedding, married to the striking little dark-haired beauty from his own world. Had he done that, there would have been no strife, no anger, no problem with his mother. And as she thought of it all she felt guilt pour over her for all that she had done to disrupt B.J.'s life. Her eyes wandered back to the altar, where she saw Greg standing stiffly beside his bride. And just behind them stood Brad and the maid of honor, and as Serena watched her, a distinguished-looking girl with red hair, which somehow blended well with the peach dress and large picture hat, she wondered if Brad was regretting what he had lost when he married her. He could have had the redhead, or any of the pretty blondes with their bright, freckled, American faces. He could have names that everyone recognized, whose aunts and grandmothers and fathers they had known. He could have lived the life his mother wanted for him, keeping his family intact. Instead he had married a stranger to this world, and he would become an outcast. As she thought of it the tears filled her eyes and ran slowly down her cheeks. She felt a grief beyond measure at what she had done to him. Oh, God, what would happen if he ended up hating her for it?
She sat solemnly through the rest of the wedding, and watched the procession file sedately past her on the way out, and when it was over, she went through the reception line like any other stranger, shaking hands with the twenty or so bridesmaids and ushers, until suddenly she reached Teddy, and he grabbed her by the arm.
“What are you doing here, silly?”
“I don't know.” She looked suddenly embarrassed. Had she done the wrong thing? She felt foolish and he put an arm around her with a grin.
“You don't have to be so formal. Want to stand here with us?” But Serena knew that their mother would undoubtedly have a fit.
“I'll just wait outside.” She stood there for a moment beside him, and suddenly Pattie saw her and stared angrily.
“This is my wedding, Serena, not yours, or had you forgotten?”
Serena flushed to the roots of her hair, stammered something, and began to back
away. But Teddy was quick to grab her. He knew how much she had already been through, and he wanted to slap Pattie for what she had just said. “Can't you just shut your damn mouth for once, Pattie? If you don't watch it, you'll end up looking like a shrew, even in that dress.” With that, he left the line, his arm around Serena, and signaled to Brad to meet them outside. Margaret was looking daggers at them, and Pattie had gone white, but only one or two people had overheard them, and a moment later they were safely outside.
“Well, at least I have you to make things even.”
“Hmm?” She was still looking upset and distracted as they stood in the bright sunshine.
“I've got one wonderful sister-in-law and one bitch.” Serena laughed in spite of herself and saw Brad coming toward them.
“Something happen in there?” he was quick to ask, and Serena shook her head, but Teddy waved a finger and frowned.
“Don't lie to him, dammit.” He smiled at his brother. “Our brand-new sister-in-law is just being herself.”
“Was she rude to Serena?” Brad began to smolder.
“Of course. Is she ever anything but rude, except to those she is trying to impress? Christ, I don't know how Greg is going to stand her.” He said it sotto voce so only his brother heard him, but they both knew the answer to that one, and neither of them liked it. Most likely Greg was going to stay drunk for the rest of his life. That morning, in his still-besotted state, he had told his older brother that he was marrying her because she had been Brad's fiancée, and everyone knew that Brad was terrific so she had to be a terrific girl. In a moment of madness Brad had tried to dissuade him from getting married, but Greg was too frightened to alter his course only hours before the wedding, and all morning in church Brad had remembered Serena's question: “Are you going to be the one to stand up and object at the wedding?” He had wanted to, but he hadn't dared.
A few minutes later the entire wedding party disappeared into six limousines and moved on to The Plaza, where the Grand Ballroom had been reserved. Here again the flowers were lavish, and the orchestra struck up the moment they arrived.
Serena was once again seated with strangers at a table far from the others, and it seemed ages before Brad came to find her. She looked tired from the strain of making polite conversation, and she was a little overwhelmed by the crowds around her.
“Are you all right, love?” She smiled and nodded. “How's my daughter?”
“He's fine.” They chuckled at each other, and he led her onto the dance floor in a slow waltz a moment later. Teddy sat at the bridal table and watched them circling slowly together. They were truly the perfect couple. His tall, handsome blond brother, and the graceful golden-haired woman in his arms. Their faces met at precisely the right angle, their smiles would have lit the room, they looked so happy that they should have been the bride and groom, and not the nervous, high-strung little brunette drinking too much and talking too loudly, sitting beside the man she had just married, who sat staring straight ahead, as Teddy watched them. Greg had no sparkle in his eyes, instead there was a dull glaze as he finished his Scotch on the rocks and signaled the waiter for another.
It was only a few moments later that Brad and Serena came to find Teddy. Brad leaned down to his brother's ear and whispered that they were leaving.
“Already?”
He nodded. “We want to catch the train tonight, and I want Serena to rest for a while. We have to pack—” He faltered for a moment, and his younger brother laughed at them. Maybe he did want her to rest, and they did have some packing to do, but it was apparent that B.J. had other things on his mind as well. If they had been alone, Teddy would have teased him. “We'll see you in San Francisco, kiddo. When exactly are you coming?”
“I'm leaving New York on the twenty-ninth of August, so I should arrive in San Francisco on September first.”
“Give us the details when you write and we'll come to meet you.” Brad held his shoulder for a long moment and looked into his brother's eyes. “Thank you for everything. For making Serena feel so welcome.”
“She is welcome.” His eyes moved over to his new sister. “I'll see you out West, Serena.” And then he grinned. “By then you'll be as big as a whale.” The three of them chuckled.
“I will not!” She tried to look offended, but didn't. Instead she put her arms around him and kissed him on both cheeks. “I'll miss you, little brother.”
“Take care of each other “
The two men shook hands, Teddy kissed Serena again, and a moment later, after Serena had said a polite farewell to the bride, shaken her parents-in-law's hands, and congratulated the almost incoherent groom, they left the party. It was an enormous relief to have the wedding behind them. As they left The Plaza hand in hand Brad pulled off his tie, dropped it with his gloves into his top hat, and hailed a hansom cab to take them home to the apartment on Fifth Avenue.
Serena was enchanted as they clip-clopped into the park behind the horse, and he put an arm around her. It was a hot sunny day, the summer had begun, and by nightfall they would be on their way to their new life in California.
“Happy, darling?” He looked down at his wife, his pleasure at finally being alone with her shining in his eyes.
“How could I be anything but happy with you?” She reached up to kiss him and they held each other for a long moment, as they drove slowly down Fifth Avenue to the apartment.
26
They left the apartment before the others returned, and for a moment Brad stood in the front hall and looked around him with regret, and almost sorrow.
“You'll come back.” She said it softly, remembering how she had felt when she left Rome, but he shook his head as he looked down at her.
“That isn't what I was thinking. I was thinking that I wanted this to be so nice for you. I wanted you to have a wonderful time in New York … I wanted them to be wonderful to you. …” His eyes were bright with tears and she took his hand and kissed it.
“Non importa.” It doesn't matter.
“Yes, it does. To me.”
“We have our own lives, Brad. Soon we will have the baby. We have each other. The rest matters, but not so much.”
“It does to me. You deserve to have everyone be good to you.”
“You are good to me. I don't need more than that.” And then she smiled, remembering Teddy. “And your brother.”
“I think he's head over heels in love with you.” He smiled at his wife. “But I can't really blame him. So am I.”
“I think you're both silly.” She sighed as she thought of her brother-in-law. “I hope he finds a nice girl at Stanford. He has so much to give someone.”
Brad was quiet for a moment, thinking of how much he owed Teddy. Then he said, “Ready?” She nodded assent, and he closed the door behind them. Downstairs a cab was already waiting. Their luggage was piled up on the front seat and in the trunk, their smaller bags were tucked in around them.
The ride to Grand Central Station passed quickly. A few minutes later they got out, found a redcap, and threaded their way through the crowded station. Serena looked around her in fascination, there were armies of people shuffling around beneath the enormously tall ceilings. Everywhere around her were advertisements and posters and billboards and announcements. She looked like a little girl as she trundled along beside her husband, and he almost had to shoo her out of the main lobby to get her to the platform area where they would find their train.
“But it's wonderful, Brad!”
He grinned at her delight, and tipped the porter as he unloaded their bags onto the train.
“I'm glad you like it.”
But she liked the train even better. It was far more luxurious than any of the postwar trains in Europe. In Italy and France nothing had as yet been completely restored from the condition it had been left in by the armies of occupation. Here mahogany-skinned white-coated porters with stiff caps assisted them into their tiny but impeccable quarters. They had a velvet banquette, immaculate linens, t
hick rugs beneath their feet, and a tiny bathroom. In Serena's opinion it was the perfect honeymoon suite, and the prospect of spending three days there with Brad enchanted her.
Their actual plan was to spend two days on the train until they reached Denver, to leave the train there, rent a car, drive to Aspen, and then return to Denver, and take the train on to San Francisco. Brad had taken his brother's suggestion, and the young couple could hardly wait. But first they had to take the train to Chicago, where they would spend the day and change trains, then continue their journey.
Half an hour after they had boarded, the train inched out of the station and hurtled through New York. As Serena watched the city disappear behind them, Brad was silent beside her.
“You're so quiet. Is something wrong?” She looked at him inquiringly as they rolled along.
“I was just thinking.”
“What about?”
“My mother.”
For a moment Serena said nothing, and then she raised her eyes slowly to her husband's. “Perhaps she will come to accept me in time.” But the memory of what Margaret had tried to do told Serena that her mother-in-law would never come to love her. There was no trust, no understanding, no compassion, and no interest. There was nothing but bitterness and resentment and hatred. She had tried to buy Serena off in the most venal of ways. To think she had wanted her to abort her own grandchild. What kind of woman was Margaret Fullerton?
Remembrance Page 25