“I’ll see to that,” he said, and crossed over to the fireplace.
“I can manage.”
He took the matches from her. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Are you hungry? I can ask Sally to prepare dinner.”
“I thought you had no servants,” he said as he struck a match and set the flame to the kindling.
“She’s not really a servant, but she assists as needed. She’s a far better cook than I.”
The fire caught, the warmth welcome. “Perhaps later.”
She rose. “Brandy then?”
“That I could certainly use.” Standing, he watched as she poured the liquor into the glass. There was a familiarity to her actions, a loneliness. How many nights had she poured herself a drink? How many nights had she sipped it alone in this room? Was she as lonely as he was? He filled his nights with women, wine, and wagering—but it was only so he could avoid the yawning abyss of loneliness.
She handed him the glass, before sitting on one end of the sofa. He joined her there, settling onto the other end, keeping some distance between them, when all he truly wanted was to be as close to her as possible. Now wasn’t the time. It wasn’t what she needed or wanted. If he got too close, he was going to take her to that bed where he would be cramped and uncomfortable; he was going to ease her distress by bringing her pleasure. She might have indicated that she didn’t want it here, but he knew that sex could be an excellent distractor from dark thoughts, fears, and doubts. He’d relied on it often enough through the years.
He took a sip of the excellent brandy before handing the snifter back to her. He hated the worry, the sadness in her eyes. They would travel with her to his residence. He didn’t want to consider the number of smiles she wouldn’t bestow upon him, the amount of laughter that he wouldn’t hear in the coming days. He couldn’t limit her to an hour here each day. He would have to give her as much time as she needed. It would mean time away from him. He should resent the moments. Instead he would give up everything he possessed to spare her the sorrow that was coming her way.
She offered him the brandy. He took it, drank more deeply.
“You’re not going to be comfortable in the bed,” she said.
“I’ll make do.”
She turned slightly until she faced him more squarely. “There really is no reason for you to stay, to be put out.”
The sofa was not so large that when he laid his arm along its back, he wasn’t able to skim his fingers along her cheek. “I’m not leaving, Rose.”
She placed her hand over his, pressed a kiss to the center of his palm—and he could have sworn he felt it in the middle of his chest. “I did not judge you to be a man who would stay with me. I thought you selfish.”
“I am. Incredibly so. I am here because it is where I wish to be. If I didn’t wish to be, nothing would hold me.”
“So your staying has nothing to do with me?”
“Absolutely not.” He tucked strands of her hair behind her ear. “As you’re well aware, I care only for my own pleasures and wants.”
She gave him a half smile. “I have noticed that about you. Strange, though, how your pleasures and wants often seem to mirror my needs.”
Taking another long sip of the brandy, he thought he should mention that he cared for her. He wasn’t sure exactly when it had happened. Somehow she had become a part of his life that he was loath to give up. He offered her the snifter, watched as her delicate throat worked while she took a small sip. She licked her lips, no doubt savoring the taste that lingered there. He was tempted to lean over and take her mouth. But he feared he would do little more than increase her melancholy.
“I was wondering,” she asked quietly, tapping her finger against the glass, “if you would allow me to bring some of your books here for Harry to read. He so loves reading, and he’s read everything we have.”
“Would it not be better to take him to the books?”
She looked at him as though he had proposed setting her brother on a flying carpet.
Still, he plowed on. “When we return to my residence tomorrow, perhaps he should come with us. He could stay in the guest wing. He would have a bedchamber, a small library, servants to assist—”
“No, I’ll not have your servants gawking at him.”
He skimmed the knuckle of his forefinger along her cheek. “I am a duke, Rose. My staff does not gawk.”
Rising, she moved nearer to the fire, staring at it, holding the bowl of the snifter with both hands. “He’s comfortable here.”
“I daresay he would be more comfortable there. He would have space in which to move about, a thousand books at his disposal. Servants would see to his needs.” She began shaking her head. Standing, he joined her by the fire. “You asked me to help you make his last days happy. My cook could prepare feasts for him unlike any he’s ever experienced. My gardens are lavish. He could walk about them, enjoy them without fear of neighbors peering through windows. You would be within easy reach, anytime day or night. Your worry would lessen. You could check on him anytime you wanted.”
“Why are you doing this?”
Because it lashes at my heart to see you so wounded, so sad.
“It seems the best way not to disrupt our current arrangements.” He wanted to touch her desperately, but he feared she might toss the remaining brandy on him. He would not make himself vulnerable, not even for her.
“I think you care for me,” she said softly, as though the notion had just flittered through her mind.
“Emotions, feelings, sensibilities—they are not my purview. Pleasure is. All pleasures. Pleasure of the palate when a well-prepared meal touches the tongue, the pleasure of fragrance when inhaling the aroma of wine aged to perfection, the pleasure of sight when gazing upon a masterfully painted piece of art, the pleasure of sound when a harpist plucks her fingers over the chords, the pleasure of touch.” He outlined the shell of her ear. “I am given to believe that your brother has seen little of the outside world. I understand your fear of his discovery, your need to protect him from those who would judge him and wish him harm. My residence is more museum than home. He could spend hours browsing through it. I possess trinkets from all corners of the world that he could touch, examine to his heart’s content.”
“I don’t say this to be cruel, but he is somewhat clumsy. If he were to break—”
“They are trinkets. Their value is in the joy they bring, not what they cost me to possess them. If they break, they break.”
“I’ve seen them, Avendale. Some are priceless treasures.”
“They mean nothing to me, Rose.” You do. Why were those words impossible to say? “I shan’t be upset if they break. Perhaps we would even sneak Harry into the Twin Dragons for a game of poker.”
Her gaze roamed over his face, and within her eyes he saw the wonder of possibilities, all that they might share with her brother. “I desperately do not want Harry hurt.”
“I give you my word that he won’t be.”
“You can’t control others.”
“I think you might be surprised by what a duke can accomplish and what people will do to please him. Even one as much a reprobate as I am.”
Setting the snifter on the mantel, she faced him squarely. “How would we get Harry to your residence?”
“You have a carriage. We’ll leave before first light. No one will see him depart from here. I doubt anyone will see him arrive at my residence.”
She clutched her slender hands, furrowed her delicate brow. “If my dearest wish comes true and your physician is wrong, and death is not hovering in the corner to take Harry . . . should we limit it to a week in your residence?”
“No limits.” He traced his finger along her cheek. “In for a penny, in for a pound.”
“And if you grow weary of us?”
“I won’t.�
� That he knew without doubt.
“What of Merrick, Sally, and Joseph?”
“They’ll stay here.”
She nodded. “That will create less discord. Merrick doesn’t like you.”
“The feeling is mutual.”
“But perhaps they can visit him.”
“Occasionally, perhaps.” With one hand, he cradled her cheek. “You’ve carried the weight of caring for your brother for a good many years. Let me help you.”
Tears welled in her eyes, her smile quivered. “I’m afraid. I’m not accustomed to not being responsible.”
With his thumb, he wiped away one of the tears that rolled along her cheek. “The night we struck our first bargain, you trusted me. Trust me now.”
She nodded, inhaled deeply, blinked back the tears. He felt a sharp, painful poke in his chest. If he didn’t know better, he’d think a wall was crumbling. Lowering his head, he pressed his lips to hers, tasted the salt of lingering tears.
“I’m going to borrow your carriage to return to my residence to see that things are readied for your brother’s arrival. I will be back tonight, but you needn’t wait up.”
“I’ll be awake when you return.”
“Then I shall return in haste.”
He kissed her again, wondering why it was so blasted difficult to leave her. He’d left countless women without so much as a backward glance. But she was different. He’d known that from the beginning.
Drawing back, he slid the crook of his finger below her chin. “Where will I find the giant?”
“In the kitchen, no doubt.”
“Don’t worry. Everything will be all right.”
“If it’s not—” She swallowed, licked her lips. “I promise to keep to my end of the bargain. Whatever you want for as long as you want.”
He suddenly had a clear understanding of why she hadn’t wanted to accept the necklace. He didn’t want her gratitude. He wasn’t quite certain what the bloody hell he wanted.
“I would expect no less,” he stated succinctly, before striding from the room, wishing he’d been in possession of gentler words.
“I don’t like it,” Merrick said.
Once Avendale left, Rose returned to Harry’s room, grateful to find him still awake. She suspected he slept little these nights, mostly in fits and spurts. There was a labored quality to his breathing, occasionally a whistling like the sound of air rushing through the narrow confines of a cavern. She’d asked Merrick and Sally to join her there. She’d just explained how she was taking Harry on an adventure to the duke’s residence.
Harry’s face had taken on the wonder of a child being handed a penny candy for the first time. No surprise, Merrick’s face had taken on the appearance of a storm cloud.
Now he paced in front of the fireplace. “What do you know of this duke? He took advantage the night we were leaving. He could be doing the same now. Mayhap he intends to parade Harry before all his aristocratic friends. The nobility like to have something special to show off.”
“He has no intentions of parading Harry about,” Rose insisted. “But he is in a better position than we are to see to Harry’s needs. He has servants, staff. I daresay he’d hire a nurse if need be.” While he hadn’t said as much, she’d wager her five thousand quid that he would do it. He fought so hard to give the appearance of not caring, and yet he had done little except show her kindness. And now he was extending it to Harry.
“We don’t take such bad care of him,” Merrick insisted, coming to a halt and jabbing his hands onto his hips.
She realized his pride was hurt. She hadn’t considered that. She’d thought they’d all want what was best. “You take marvelous care of him, but this is an opportunity for him to experience a bit more of life. The duke has a billiards room. Harry has never played.”
“It’s a silly reason to take him away.”
“You can come visit, every day if you like.” She fought not to grimace. Avendale probably wasn’t going to like that.
“It should be up to Harry,” Merrick said.
“Yes, of course, it’s completely up to Harry. We’re not going to take him kicking and screaming from here.” She looked at her brother. “Do you want to come with us?”
“Do you love him?”
What did that have to do with anything? “I like him very much.”
“I like him, too.” He turned his body slightly so he could see Merrick more clearly. “I’m sorry, Merrick. But I want to go.”
“No need for you to apologize,” Merrick groused. “If I was you, I’d probably want to go, too.”
“I think it’s wonderful,” Sally said. Merrick glowered at her, and Rose knew he was thinking, Traitor. “Think of everything he’ll experience. Lovely breakfasts that are more than my boiled eggs.”
“I like your boiled eggs,” Harry said.
Sally smiled. “You’re such a sweet lad. But, caw, to spend time in the presence of a duke . . . it’s a dream for some, you know.”
“For you?” Merrick snapped.
She scowled at him. “No, of course not.” But when Merrick looked away, Sally winked and nodded at Rose.
Rose almost laughed, then her thoughts sobered. She’d once judged Avendale by his rank, giving little thought to the man behind it. Now she hardly saw his rank anymore. She saw only the man.
Chapter 14
Harry felt like the puppy he’d had as a boy. It had been an excitable creature, always jumping around, chasing its tail. His father had given it to him before Harry had become a monster, had become the Boulder Boy. In anger, when his father realized Harry was not his son but the devil’s, he’d drowned the dog.
Rose had held Harry while he cried. She’d promised him that she would never let anyone hurt him again. She was seventeen before she’d been able to carry through on that promise. Harry often wished that he could make the same promise to her, that he could watch out for her.
Although he suspected that the duke was going to do it for him. Not that he thought the duke was aware of it as the carriage traveled through the London streets. But Harry knew. He was able to sense things like that. Just as he knew it was going to rain again.
The trunk Merrick had helped him pack was on top of the carriage. Rose sat beside him. He suspected the duke would have preferred that she sit at his side, but she was worried that Harry was afraid, that someone would hurt him. He wasn’t afraid, at least not for himself, but he did worry about her. He knew that she’d often done things that she shouldn’t, that she could go to prison if she were ever caught. She didn’t know he knew these things. Because his speech was impeded and he had to communicate with simple words—his misshapen mouth had difficulty forming the more complicated ones—people often thought his brain was encumbered as well. But he was sharper, more aware than people realized.
And so it was that he was also very much aware that very soon he would die.
He was growing more tired with each day. Sometimes he could barely lift his head because of all the boulders that had grown from it. They were growing inside him as well; he’d known it for a while. The doctor had confirmed it when he’d pressed on Harry’s stomach. He was certain the physician had felt them. He hadn’t said as much but his eyes had filled with sorrow.
Harry had wanted to stay with Merrick, but it was more important that Rose be with her duke. Harry knew all about dukes and the power they wielded. He could protect Rose as Harry never could.
Harry wore his hooded cloak. He’d kept the hood up even after he settled into the carriage. Easier to observe the duke that way without the man realizing he was being studied. The duke’s gaze seldom left Rose.
“You should know,” the duke began, “that I instructed my butler to have a footman available to you at all times. Should you require anything at all, you need only ask him.”
“That’s very kin
d,” Rose said.
The duke scowled. “I pay them, Rose. They might as well earn their salary.”
The duke didn’t like her feeling beholden to him. Harry found that interesting.
“You are welcome to spend time in any of the rooms, as often and as long as you like,” the duke said. “Except for my bedchamber.”
“Harry has difficulty traversing stairs,” Rose said.
“I assumed as much, based upon the current arrangements in your residence. I’ve had one of the rooms on the lower floor converted into a bedchamber. You should find everything you need, but don’t be shy about asking for anything you might require. I don’t mean to come off as vulgar, but money is no object.”
Beside him, Rose stiffened. She didn’t like it when people took coins for granted. “Take advantage, Harry. It may be the only time in our lives when money is no object.”
But it came with a price, of that he knew. He also knew Rose would never tell him the cost.
The coach pulled off the street and onto a cobbled path. Before them lay Buckland Palace. Harry knew his eyes were widening, his mouth was agape, because Rose was correct.
It was a palace. For a while, he would live here.
Rose clung to Harry’s arm as he used his walking stick to transport himself from the carriage to the residence. Avendale was near her, carefully watching as though he feared her brother might topple her over. But when they went through the door, stepped into the foyer, she felt the excitement and wonder thrum through Harry as he took in the high ceiling, the sweeping staircase, the paintings, the glamour of it all.
Two footmen were already scurrying down a hallway, Harry’s trunk in tow. If they had caught sight of him beneath the hood of his cloak, they gave no indication. But the morning was only just beginning, the fog hampering the arrival of sunlight. Perhaps they hadn’t gotten a good look.
Thatcher stepped forward; a young footman—whom she had never seen—stood at attention slightly behind him. She suspected Avendale had a good many servants she’d never set eyes on before.
The Duke and the Lady in Red Page 19