Shape of My Heart

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Shape of My Heart Page 6

by LuAnn McLane


  The kiss started out petal-soft, but she felt a long, hot tingle all the way to her toes. Maggie wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body to his. She felt as if she were floating, and even though she dimly realized he was carrying her toward the edge of the balcony into the rain, she didn’t care about anything at this point except kissing Jimmy. And her heightened senses felt everything. Her skin became wet, chilled, making his mouth feel enticingly warm. She slid her fingers into his hair, kissing him wildly, madly. The wind whipped all around them and the rain dampened everything except their need for each other.

  A sharp crack of thunder had Maggie clinging to him, but her fear seemed to ignite a fire from within, creating a passion like she’d never experienced before. Her nipples tightened, her heart pounded, and she suddenly wished they were naked. She’d never done anything this wanton, and she was literally throwing caution to the wind. The thought made her feel a sense of giddy freedom, and for once she allowed herself to live in the moment.

  Maggie had thought she knew what desire felt like—but it was nothing compared to what she was feeling now. The wind whipped at her hair, the rain pelted her back, and she continued to kiss Jimmy with a wild abandon that matched the raging weather. He tugged at her wet shirt and his hands felt warm, firm, and sensuous against her cool skin.

  Maggie moaned deep in her throat and pressed closer. She felt as if she’d landed inside a sexy scene in a romantic movie, because her reality didn’t include kissing with crazy hot passion in the pouring rain.

  Jimmy pulled his mouth from her lips and she would have protested, but he nuzzled her neck, kissing her across her collarbone. Her breath hitched when he tugged her shirt off her shoulders, exposing the swell of her breasts spilling over the cups of her bra. His warm lips and wet tongue sent a sensual thrill shooting through her body, and she wanted his mouth on her bare breasts, licking, sucking, until her knees nearly buckled. She could feel the power of his erection pressing against her body, and damn, she wanted him to take her right there, on the balcony, in the middle of the thunderstorm.

  Insane.

  All the reasons she shouldn’t be letting down her guard with Jimmy took a back seat to how he made her feel. When a big gust of wind drenched them with a huge splat of water, Maggie laughed. Mascara might be running down her face right now, but she didn’t care. Jimmy joined her laughter and then picked her up and spun her around.

  “You’re making me dizzy!”

  “Good, you’re making my head spin too,” Jimmy said, and then kissed her until she was clinging to him once more. When he came up for air, he turned her around and held her in front of him so they could watch the storm as it started to retreat farther out into the ocean. “Isn’t it amazing?” He kissed her bare shoulders and she leaned against him.

  “Yes,” she said, breathless. He felt solid, warm, and she closed her eyes, savoring the moment. His hands rested on her rib cage and she longed for him to cup her breasts, remove her bra, and fling it over the balcony. Silly, but she wasn’t thinking straight. She didn’t want to think straight. Heat gathered at her core, and she ached with the need to have him caress her intimately and bring her to a mind-shattering orgasm.

  She had never been this turned on in her life.

  Maggie could feel the deep thud of his heart against her back, his shallow breathing. She stood very still while her body screamed for her to turn around and tilt her head up in silent invitation. But she was unpracticed at this sort of thing and in truth, if he kissed her again, she might lose all control and regret her actions later. After spending a childhood where so many things were out of her hands, she liked living her adult life with a strict sense of order. This … this wild evening felt foreign to Maggie, and yet she was fighting very hard not to like the freedom of letting go.

  She stayed facing the ocean, watching nature’s light show and reveling in the feeling of leaning against Jimmy.

  Finally, the rain stopped completely and the loud thunder faded into the distance. Streaks of lightning fizzled, and for once, Maggie was sad to see a storm end.

  “Ready to go inside and get dried off?” Jimmy asked next to her ear. His low, husky voice slid over her, warm and sensual. No, she wanted to stay out here and make wild and crazy love on her back balcony.

  “Yes.” Maggie nodded, but she was reluctant to break the spell and end the magical moment. God, it would be wonderful to go indoors and take a steamy, hot shower together, towel off, and make love long into the night. But just as they entered the condo, the lights came back on and the cool blast of air-conditioning had her shivering, rubbing her arms. “Ohhhh!”

  “You’re freezing,” Jimmy said, and gave her a smile that managed to be tender and sexy at the same time.

  “A little. Or maybe it’s post-traumatic storm syndrome?”

  Jimmy laughed. “Thanks for braving the elements with me.”

  Not knowing what to say, Maggie nodded. Now that the lights were on, she felt exposed in more ways than one. Her tank top clung to her like a second skin, and her wet hair was in ringlets around her shoulders. She probably had raccoon eyes from her mascara. God. She folded her arms over her chest.

  And she’d kissed him like a sex-starved girl next door. Wait, she was a sex-starved girl next door.

  Maggie nibbled on her lip while racking her blown brain for something clever to say but came up empty. And of course, Jimmy stood there looking hotter than ever. It wasn’t fair.

  “Hey.” Jimmy tilted his head. “Maggie, what’s wrong?” he asked gently.

  “Nothing.”

  “Then why are you frowning at me?”

  “Well, you’re frowning at me.”

  Amusement flickered in his eyes. “You frowned first.” He pointed at his face. “Causing me to frown. Are you secretly angry that I took you out into the storm?”

  “No.” She shook her head so firmly that water droplets went flying. “I’m just …” She swallowed hard. “I don’t know what I am.” She felt strangely close to crying. Tearing up would really suck right about now, so she pressed her lips together and shrugged.

  Jimmy closed the gap between them and cupped her damp cheek with his warm palm. “Hey, I’ll get going. Trixie is probably wishing you’d come in to cuddle with her.”

  Maggie nodded, but the hot-shower fantasy slid into her brain. “Okay,” she said softly.

  Jimmy leaned in and kissed her lightly, gently, but with a lingering hint of sizzle that had her longing for more. But instead of pulling him closer, she backed away, putting space between them once more. Something flickered in his eyes, like maybe he thought he’d pushed his luck this time, but then he smiled. “Is it okay to call you?”

  “Like, on my phone?”

  He chuckled. “Well, that or over the railing of my balcony, but I’d love to have your cell phone number, if you don’t mind?”

  When she hesitated, he reached into his pocket, took out his wallet, and handed her a business card. “My number is on there. Call me anytime, for any reason. And I want you to know that if you ever need anything, I’m a pretzel’s throw away.”

  For some reason, his simple, kind gesture brought a lump to her throat. “Thank you,” she said, and she couldn’t keep the huskiness from her voice.

  When he turned to walk away, Maggie stopped him. “Hey, wait!”

  Jimmy turned around, raised his eyebrows.

  “Um, I want to give you a little bag of treats so you can toss one to Trixie if she makes a fuss while you’re trying to write your songs. I’d keep her inside more often, but she was penned up for so long before I rescued her that I want her to be able to go out into the fresh air whenever possible,” Maggie said. “So I leave the sliding door open for her pretty often.” She didn’t reveal that she could also hear him sing—a bonus.

  “Well, I think I’ve made some real progress here tonight,” he said, but his gaze lingered long enough for her to wonder if he meant Trixie or her.

  “For sure.” Ma
ggie nodded, but then, worried he might think she was referring to herself, hurried into the kitchen. A moment later she handed him a small Baggie filled with doggie treats. “Now, not too many, even if she whines. Those big eyes will get ya every time.”

  Jimmy nodded. “I promise,” he said, and for a heart-stopping moment she thought he might kiss her again. He didn’t kiss her, but when he took the treats their fingers brushed and she felt the minor contact all the way to her toes.

  Maggie followed him to the door and then wondered what to say.

  “Remember to blow out the candles.”

  “Do I get to make a wish?” she asked, immediately wincing. She could have bitten her tongue.

  “Absolutely,” he said, and looked at her for a heartbeat. “Now, don’t forget.”

  “I won’t.” She felt a flash of pleasure that he was worried about her.

  Jimmy nodded but hesitated, as if not knowing what to say either but wanting to prolong his exit.

  “Good luck with your song,” she said, while still wanting to tug him back in for another round of kissing.

  “Thank you.” He leaned in and gave her a whisper-light kiss on the cheek.

  And then he was gone.

  Maggie closed the door and then fell back against the cool wall. She put a hand to her cheek where his lips had been, trying to quell the rapid beat of her pulse. “Did that really just happen?” she whispered.

  The sudden silence of the condo caused loneliness to reach up and tug at Maggie’s heart. She tried to tell herself that this sudden melancholy ache stemmed from adjusting to moving from Cleveland to Sea Breeze, away from her mom and Grandma Mags. Maybe the move to the warm weather, the beach, wasn’t worth being away from the only two people who had ever been rock steady in her life. Maggie inhaled a deep, shaky breath and squeezed her eyes shut.

  “No.” Maggie shook her head firmly. Her long-range plan was to move them to a beach house, at least for the winters. Okay, she knew damned well what was bothering her …

  Jimmy Heart.

  He’d kissed her!

  And not just any ol’ kiss. No, in the middle of a raging storm while wind whipped around them and the ocean roared. And she’d loved it. In fact, she’d never felt so daring, so alive, and the heat of her untamed desire had been scorching.

  Maggie opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling. Jimmy had awakened a need she had tried to keep dormant. Falling in love wasn’t on her long list of things to accomplish before she turned forty. No, she wanted to travel, delve into writing YA fiction, expand her horizons. Getting involved with someone would only hold her back and keep her from her life goals. Nope, she was perfectly fine without all that drama.

  Right?

  Time for another glass of wine.

  Maggie pushed away from the wall and slowly made her way toward the kitchen. She blew out the candles and then stood there, wondering what in the world she was going to do about Jimmy Heart.

  Avoid him slammed into her brain, threatening to squash the beauty of the crazy, amazing evening.

  Maggie closed her eyes and clenched her fists. If she wasn’t so afraid of getting hurt, she’d go for it. But she detested feeling afraid, and she’d had her fill of getting hurt. She’d spent her childhood being scared, and it had made her feel powerless. The list of fears when she was a kid had been never-ending. Since her dad left, would her mom leave too? Would she get giggles in gym class when she tried to climb to the top of the stupid rope? Why the hell did they have to do such a dumb thing to begin with? Would she ever get boobs like the rest of the girls? Would she always be the last one picked for kickball? Would a boy ever like her?

  But Jimmy Heart seemed as gentle, kind, and caring as she’d imagined he would be—only better. Like, too good to be true. Was there a catch? Was she just a challenge?

  Did she dare find out?

  Maggie opened her eyes, and the first thing she saw was the gorgeous bouquet of fragrant flowers. His words, his voice, floated into her brain. You’re brave, Maggie.

  But was she truly brave, or just a big pretender?

  Maggie let out a long sigh. Maybe, just maybe, it was about time she let her guard down and gave falling in love a chance. She should practice what she preached to the girls who listened to her, hung on her every inspiring word. The thought hit Maggie that if she shied away from Jimmy, then she shouldn’t get up onstage and encourage young girls to face their fears head-on, to believe in themselves and refuse to let anyone or anything get in their way.

  After another long, drawn-out sigh, Maggie picked up the wine bottle and gave herself another generous pour. Cradling the glass, she leaned against the counter, allowing her thoughts to bounce back to her high school graduation evening, when she’d made her list of things to accomplish in her life. Maggie started ticking them off in her brain. Okay, she’d graduated with honors with a major in English and a minor in psychology. After she’d created a large following through blogs and social media, her first empowering book for teens had hit the New York Times bestsellers list. Her next book had gone for auction, ending with an advance that blew her mind, but had her worrying if she could live up to the hype. She did, and then offers came in for speaking engagements. Maggie shook her head. At first, the thought of public speaking terrified her, but to her surprise, she excelled, connecting to the audiences with passion, inspiration, and a big dose of humor.

  Maggie took a sip of the wine, trying to figure out the strange mood she suddenly found herself in. She loved what she did for a living, and she was proud of her accomplishments. She would never take her lovely beachfront condo for granted.

  Ah, but her next-door neighbor had her longing for … more.

  Maggie closed her eyes and relived kissing in the wind and the rain. Of course, she had dated here and there. But she’d never experienced anything so hot, so sensual.

  With another sigh, Maggie pushed away from the counter and peeked in on Trixie. She smiled softly at her little dog, who was sound asleep in Maggie’s bed. Although the storm was over, she decided to let her little dog remain snuggled on a pillow.

  Feeling restless, she walked through the living room, glancing at the television without much interest. A romantic suspense novel on her coffee table caught her attention, but she was most drawn to the sliding glass doors leading to the balcony.

  Inhaling a deep breath, Maggie slowly walked toward the door. When she curled her fingers around the smooth handle, her heart picked up speed. Was Jimmy outside strumming his guitar, singing the sultry love song that made her swoon? She pictured him, barefoot, shirtless, sexy, shaggy head bent, strumming his guitar with the same long fingers that had cradled her head while he kissed her until her knees buckled and her body hummed.

  Maggie put her ear next to the glass, wanting to open the door but feeling a shiver of nervous hesitation. Wait, this was silly. She should just open the door and head out there bold as can be …

  But she couldn’t.

  Instead, she oh so slowly slid the door open a few inches, wincing at the nearly silent sound. Wind whistled through the slight opening, the breezy aftermath of the storm. Then, she turned sideways and listened.

  Ah, she could hear Jimmy singing. He paused, and she pictured him writing down lyrics, thinking, imagining, feeling the music.

  Needing more volume, Maggie tugged the door open wider. Biting her bottom lip, she tiptoed out onto the wet concrete, leaned against the door, and allowed his song to fill her head.

  Jimmy’s deep, husky voice washed over Maggie like a warm caress, lingering on her lips, her throat, her breasts, and dipping lower. Closing her eyes, she took a sip of her red wine, wishing she had the nerve to show herself, lean over the railing, and hope for an invitation to join him.

  But Maggie stood very still while the stiff night breeze whipped her hair across her face. The salt from the sea mingled with the dark taste of the merlot on her lips. The air, still heavy with rain, dampened her skin. She swayed with the rhythm of the so
ng, sipping her drink.

  Maggie wanted Jimmy Heart with a hunger she’d never felt before, and it both frightened and excited her. He’d stoked a fire that she wasn’t even aware of, and she supposed she should be glad he’d exposed a passionate side of her nature that, until now, had been buried deep within. Her heart thudded and her blood seemed to hum through her veins … and yet she warned herself to resist. Surely a desire this strong would burn itself out, leaving her with nothing but ashes in the end.

  And so, she vowed to resist the charms of her sexy neighbor at all costs.

  She just wasn’t sure how she would do it.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  (I CAN’T GET NO) SATISFACTION

  Frustration had Jimmy going for a long, early-evening run down the beach. His feet slapped against the packed sand, sending droplets of water flying up into the air. Sweat stung his eyes and his lungs burned, but he kept up the punishing pace until he finally paused to catch his breath. Staggering slightly, he bent over, hugging his thighs, while sucking in deep gulps of sea-scented air. “Whoo, damn.”

  After a few moments of catching his breath, Jimmy swiped at sweat with his forearm, wondering whether to take a plunge into the ocean or head back to his condo for a shower. He straightened up and looked out over the choppy waves while his troubles banged around in his brain. Sweat trickled down his bare chest, soaking the waistband of his running shorts. Running had always been a physical outlet for him, and he had hoped the endorphins would kick in and elevate his crappy mood.

  After spotting a couple of dolphins slicing through the water, Jimmy managed to smile, envying their seemingly carefree frolicking. What would it be like to only worry about where to locate the next delicious school of fish for dinner?

  Jimmy blew out another long, ragged breath, suddenly wishing for a cold beer in his sweaty hand. Apparently the endorphins were no match for his current state of mind, and he frowned. Other than when he had to perfect boy-band dance steps or when he got stuck while writing a song, frustration was pretty much a foreign feeling to Jimmy, and he strived hard to keep it that way.

 

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