by Tynessa
“Nothing that you need to worry about. We also don’t need to tell your mother about this. This has to be our little secret, okay?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“If you keep this a secret now, I promise when you get older I will explain it to you.” I agreed to keep my father’s secret. A few days later, I got in trouble in school and when I got home my mother was ready to whoop me but my father stopped her. I think he was saving me from the whoopings in hopes that I would keep his secret. So I began using it to my advantage and began acting out more and more.
Over the next few years, I would always see my dad and that man going in the house together while I was outside with my friends. I always stayed outside until I saw him leaving then I would go home.
When I turned ten, my dad decided he wanted to explain to me what was going on. He explained that he was in love with his male friend, but he couldn’t be with him because a lot of people believed that was nasty and if my mother knew, she would take me away from him and he didn’t want to lose me.
I told him that I would always promise to keep his secret if he kept Mommy from whooping me like he had been doing. From there we had an agreement. The following weekend, the boy I usually played basketball with was gone on vacation so I didn’t go outside to play. I just stayed in my room playing video games.
My dad and his friend called me to the kitchen where they were making lunch. I ate my sandwich and got ready to head back upstairs when my dad’s friend told me that I could hang out with them today.
“I’m Martez.”
“Hi. I’m Tyriq. Dad, can I go play my video games now?”
“Naw. Why don’t you hang with me? I’m ready to fully explain what you saw when you walked in on me and Tezzie.”
“Oh, okay,” was all I said he led me to the family room.
“So you know how Mommy kisses Daddy?” he asked and I shook my head yes.
“Well, that’s how I kiss Martez.” He kissed him on the lips then turned back to me and kissed me on the lips. He took my hand and made me place it on his penis, which felt like a damn brick. I snatched my hand back and he slapped me.
“Don’t snatch from me you ungrateful bastard. I’m trying to show you how to please your man when you do get one.”
I got up with tears welling up in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I backed out of the living room and ran through the kitchen to the garage. My dad came chasing behind me and by the time he caught up to me I had picked up a large wooden 4x4. I took it and swung, hitting him in his head. He made up this façade to my mother that we were building something and I just snapped and hit him and that’s when I was admitted and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She believed him and they went with the flow. Every time I did something wrong, they blamed it on this disorder. As I got older, I started to Google the signs and symptoms and made sure to showcase them every once in a while.
I was sitting at the table in my mother’s kitchen while she cooked dinner. I had finally decided to go and see what it was that she was dying to talk about. I hoped like hell Camari hadn’t been over here telling her about the shit I did to Teyana the other day.
She had called Gambino from my house phone and even though he gave her attitude, she was still trying to leave me for him. I had my house phone tapped because I knew eventually she would catch on to them not answering her calls and she would try to contact them another way.
“Tyriq, have you been taking your medications every day?” she asked, snapping me from my thoughts.
“Yes, Ma. I wish you would stop treating me like that ten-year-old boy who didn’t know what he was dealing with. I know how to control my temper, Ma.”
“Son, I love you and I always will but Camari is terrified of you.” I didn’t know what to say at this point. Honestly I didn’t want my son to see me act like this. I tried to only do it when he wasn’t around but I had been slipping with my anger lately. The fact that Teyana not only didn’t love me anymore, but was in love with another man and carrying his seed, was killing me.
When I didn’t say anything my mother began talking again and I just knew that she had fell and bumped her fucking head on something.
“What did you just say?”
“I said, I want you to check into rehab for a few months and Teyana and Camari will stay here with me until you get better.”
“I don’t need to check into a clinic. I am doing just damn fine. You know what? Fuck this and fuck you. If you hadn’t let your faggot ass husband force me to touch his dick or witness him being fucked in the ass every weekend then I wouldn’t be having these so-called bipolar issues. If you had left him when he beat yo’ ass then I would know that’s nothing for me to do to Teyana. You stayed with him until his gay ass died and even then you mourned that bastard like he was the perfect man. He scarred you and fucked my head up.”
The stinging sensation to the left side of my face had me stunned for a minute. I couldn’t believe she hit me because I was telling her the truth. I smacked her ass back and before I could stop myself I was standing over her, punching her in the face and head, repeatedly. I took swings after swings on her poor frail frame. She was screaming but I blocked all that out as I continued to beat her mercifully.
Every punch I threw was in my hatred for her not leaving my father, for her letting him beat on her, for her letting these doctors tell her I was sick, for her not showing me the love I needed as a child and not showing me what it was to respect women.
I felt a pinch in my arm and it slowed my movements down.
When I looked to see what it was, there was man standing there holding a needle. I tried to launch at him but before I could, two other males dressed in white uniforms grabbed me and threw me to the ground.
“Get the fuck off me,” I slurred. I didn’t know what they stuck me with but it had me feeling real drowsy. I looked towards the doorframe and there stood Teyana, holding my son close to her and rubbing her baby bump crying. That’s when I realized that her and my mother had set me up. I felt my eyes getting heavy on me as a cop came and handcuffed me. I saw an EMT lifting my mother onto a stretcher before my eyes closed completely.
All these years of me pretending to be bipolar came back to bite me in the ass and not only did I not know how I was going to get out of this, but I thought I had just killed my mother.
Chapter 7
Jazmine
I felt like I was walking around on eggshells being here with Gambino. It wasn’t that he mistreated me or no shit like that. It was the penetrating stare he would give me. Gambino didn’t even have to speak any words because he eyes spoke words of their own. They were dark as coal and spoke—death!
I knew I was risking mine and my baby’s lives by being here with this crazy ass nigga, but that was just a chance I was willing to take. With me being here, I didn’t have to worry about if he’d moved that bitch in here or not. This was my house and Gambino was my man. That’s how it would always be.
“Baby, I was thinking, we should decorate the baby’s room, today,” I walked into the living room and said to Gambino as he laid on the couch watching TV. He didn’t even look my way.
“Nah, I don’t feel like it,” was all he said. I didn’t even know why I was here. His ass barely talked to me, barely slept in the same room with me and we never went anywhere. If it wasn’t for the fact that I loved him so much then I would’ve killed his ass in his sleep.
“Well could you give me some money so I could go shopping and do it?” I stretched my hand out, thinking he would go into his wallet and give me his black card like he used to do.
“Shop for what? It’s still some shit up there from when you was here before.” Still, this mothafucka’ kept his eyes on the TV.
“Gambino, I need more stuff. I shouldn’t have to go through this shit. This your baby too,” I fussed. He brought his eyes to mines and they were fire red.
“No, that’s your baby!”
“I bet that bitch doesn’t have to go t
hrough this shit with you. I been with you for all these years and you want to not claim my mothafuckin’ child?!” I was pissed. Gambino, was dead ass wrong. I knew this wasn’t his baby, but he didn’t have to treat me like that. My thing is, how was he so sure that girl’s baby was his? This bitch had a fucking fiancé so she could be trying to pin her baby on him just like me. He can’t see that, though; all he sees is my flaws.
“Look, Jazz, get out my got damn face with all that bullshit ‘cause I ain’t trying to hear it. Why don’t you stay out my fucking business and don’t worry about what me and Teyana got going on? Every time shit don’t go your way you have to bring her up, when she ain’t even thinking about yo’ ass. Keep her fucking name out your mouth and get some business about yourself.” He got up off the couch and I thought he was about to hit me. “I’m giving you somewhere to fucking stay; be thankful for that. I could have your ass swimming with the fishes or six feet under. If I was you I’d stop running my mouth so fucking shut it before I make that happen. Don’t think I forgot about that little shit you and that bitch ass nigga pulled!”
I relieved the breath I had been holding since he got off the couch when he walked off. Gambino really had me fucked up if he thought I was about to sit back and let him be a family with that whore. Pissed the fuck off, I grabbed his keys off the end table and stormed out the front door. I didn’t know where I was going but I knew I had to feed my baby first.
I had just grabbed my food from the second window of McDonalds and just as I got ready to pull off, out walked Ms. Thang and her son. I would be lying if I said running her over didn’t cross my mind. Pulling right in front of her, as she stood on the sidewalk holding her little brat’s hand, I let down the window. Her face was priceless when she saw it was me inside Gambino’s car instead of him. I smiled to keep from crying. Seeing her little baby bump definitely crushed my heart.
“Teyana is it?” I knew the bitch’s name. She didn’t say anything. She just tried to walk around the car but I inched up. “I bet I’m the last person you wanted to see, huh? And in your ‘baby’s daddy’ car,” I said as my smile grew wider. “Did he tell you that we’re back together? Of course he didn’t, I see it in your face.” Teyana looked as if she was about to bust into a fit of tears. Then out of nowhere, she smiled.
“And you telling me this, because? Oh wait, were you expecting a congratulations or something, because you came to the wrong person for one,” she said as she tried to walk in front of the car, but again, I blocked her path. “Look, Jazz, can you please go ahead about your business? I have my son and I’m not about play games.
“Who’s playing games? I’m just trying to have a woman to woman talk with you and to inform you that Gambino and I are back together so whatever y’all had going on, dead it!” I warned her. For some reason the bitch thought I had just said something funny, because she laughed.
“Look, Jazmine. You and Terrean might be together for now, but believe me, that shit will not last long. I have and will forever have his heart. What we share is something deeper than what y’all will ever share. See, the difference between me and you, Jazz, is you will never be able to keep a man like Terrean. You ain’t nothing but a lying, conniving bitch that’s taking up free air on this earth. Why don’t you do us all a favor and jump off a bridge and die; until then, go find your real baby daddy and get the hell off my child’s father’s dick!” This time she walked behind the car and over to hers. Yeah, it was a must that I eliminate this ho.
Sevyn
Another sleepless night I laid in bed, eyes wide open in the darkness of my bedroom as I listened to the light snores coming from the love of my life, Zywon. I couldn’t help but smile, but it didn’t stop me from carefully creeping out of bed so that I wouldn’t wake him. Slipping my hand underneath my pillow, I grabbed my phone and headed straight to the living room. Laying on the couch, I pulled up my text messages.
Me: Hey you!
I shot Bryan a message. I had met him one night I had gone to the grocery store to grab Zywon something for the flu he had picked up. When Bryan first approached me, of course I shot him down. I’d never acknowledged another man while married to Zywon. He was all the man that I needed so why entertain another mothafucka’, when I had the best in every way?
Though Zywon was my world and more, was it wrong that I was attracted to another man? I didn’t know what it was about, Bryan, but the brother had it going on. Standing at 6’1”, he weighed a good 200 pounds and sported a low fade. His swag was out of this world and his smooth raspy-like voice would make any bitch come out her panties. Don’t get me wrong; Zywon was one of the finest men I’d ever laid eyes on, but Bryan’s sexiness was another story.
Bryan: Hey sexy lady. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you again.
He responded back and I was confused. I had just spent the day with him yesterday so why wouldn’t he have heard from me?
Me: Why you thought that?
Bryan: Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy as hell to hear from you, but being that you’re married, I thought this was going to be a one-night stand with us.
Yes, I slept with Bryan yesterday when we hung out. I wanna say it was one of those spur of the moments type of situation, but I couldn’t even make myself muster up a lie like that. I take full responsibility for my actions and I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. The only thing that fucks with me is the fact that I’m carrying Zywon’s baby and he has my heart. But I can’t get Bryan off my mind.
Me: I’m not going to even lie. That’s all I wanted it to be, but I can’t get you off my mind. I know it’s wrong, being that I’m a pregnant, married woman. I just need one more refill and I’m done!
That was all I needed. I wouldn’t say Bryan’s sex was better than my husband because it wasn’t. I think it was just the sneaking around and the thrill of us risking our lives by getting caught that made me want more.
Bryan: But what if I want more than one more refill? It might not be as easy for me to let go as you! We’ve been talking for a couple of weeks now and I’m really feeling you. What if I want you to leave that nigga for me?
Me: That’ll never happen! That’s my husband and I’m pregnant by him.
Bryan: I’ll take care of you and the baby.
I just stared at the phone. Me giving him another shot of this good pussy had went out the door. Just that text alone let me know that this nigga was going to be a problem. Right then I started deleting the messages.
“Who are you up this late texting?” Zywon scared the shit out of me. I didn’t even hear him enter.
“Oh, nobody. I was just deleting old text messages from, Teyana. What you doing up?” I powered off my phone in case Bryan decided to text back.
“I was on my way to the kitchen until I saw the light on your phone. Why you had to come in here to delete messages?” he continued to question me.
“Baby, it was nothing. I didn’t want to wake you with the light,” I tried to convince him. That hadn’t ever stopped me before. I would usually be up half the night playing games and shit on my phone, not caring if it woke him or not.
Zywon was standing there looking at me as if he just knew I was lying. I had to get myself out this jam, and fast. Getting off the couch, I grabbed his hand and damn near dragged him to our bedroom. I was making love to my husband, as if my life depended on it. I was putting my all into it. It was a must I cut Bryan, off. The nigga had to be out his mind to text me some shit like that. There was no way I was leaving Zywon for him or no other man.
*******
After that that conversation with Bryan acting suspect and me almost getting caught by Zywon, I put him on the block list. I couldn’t believe that I had put myself in this situation. I felt like shit every time I looked at my husband because of my betrayal. It had been about two weeks, but the voicemail icon had finally stopped popping up on my screen so I was hoping that Bryan had got the picture and gave up.
I was out doing a little shopping. It was
times like these that I really missed Teyana. I hoped she knew what she was doing by going back to that fuck nigga Tyriq. Zywon had told me that he had been forwarding every call and text to and from her phone to him and that was why she wasn’t responding to any of my calls and text messages.
After being in the mall for more than three hours, I decided it was time for me to head on home. I left the mall walking towards my new 2015 Range Rover that Zywon had recently surprised me with. He gave it to me the day after I slept with Bryan so at first I wouldn’t drive it. I couldn’t believe that I had cheated on my husband and he was out buying me gifts.
As I got closer to my car, I noticed that there was something stuck on my windshield. As I got closer, I seen that it was a black rose with a note attached to it. I pulled the rose off and threw it to the ground. I opened the note and almost pissed on myself.
Just because you put me on the block call list, don’t mean I can’t reach you. Contact me before I contact your precious Zywon.
XOXO
Bryan
I was ready to cry. What had I gotten myself into?
Teyana
I couldn’t believe this busted ass ho had the audacity to approach me. That’s why Gambino’s stupid, good-for-nothing ass was short with me the other day. That shit didn’t have nothing to do with me leaving him for Tyriq; it was because he had gotten back with Jazz’s ugly ass. This was some straight up bullshit!
Hurt was an understatement and I swear, Gambino’s ass didn’t have shit to say to me. As I was telling myself that, I was dialing his number from my new cell phone I’d just got.
“Yeah?” he answered in a drowsy voice, like I had just woke him up from an afternoon nap.
“How could you, Gambino? After the shit that bitch did to you, you back with her?” I didn’t even realize I was crying until I felt the wetness hit my leg.
“What the fuck are you talking now, Teyana?” he asked as if he had no clue what on earth I was talking about.