by Croft, Pippa
‘If things are ending between us anyway, why would you go to all this trouble to split us up?’
‘Call it a little gentle nudge in the right direction, just in case you were thinking of continuing the relationship beyond the term. Call it my insurance policy in case you have really managed to work your way under Alexander’s skin.’
I am furious, but for once the vile creature I thought could never hurt me again seems to have come up with a plan that genuinely could harm us. I have only to picture my parents’ faces if they saw any of this, never mind the grief it would give Alexander, to know I can’t dismiss her threats out of hand.
She shrugs. ‘OK. I should have known you would be stubborn, but think of this when you open up the papers in a few days and see yourself on some sordid gossip site. When your mother is crying down the phone and your father is a laughing stock. Think of how you sneered at me when Alexander is forced to resign from the army.’ She laughs. ‘Think of that when he blames you for destroying his career which, of course, is the only thing he truly loves.’
I don’t speak. I don’t even move because the room seems to be spinning around. I grab the edge of the bookcase for support and wonder if I’m about to wake up from some horrible nightmare.
Yet it’s not a nightmare, though just as surreal. Valentina has turned up here and threatened to release that sex video and sell her trashy tale to a sleazy Eurotrash tabloid. Even if my name is linked to the story, even if my father is mentioned, I could live with that – but the consequences for Alexander could be disastrous. Valentina’s right about that much: it’s very unlikely he could keep his job after such a public humiliation.
‘You … are … a … witch.’ My voice is a whisper.
She looks at me, one eyebrow arched in enquiry. ‘Second thoughts?’
‘Don’t do this,’ I say, my mind racing ahead of my mouth, my thoughts swirling like a leaf caught in a whirlpool. ‘You can’t do this …’
‘I can and I will unless you leave Alexander.’
‘I … I … How do I know you won’t publish this “story” and release the video anyway?’
‘You don’t, but why would I? If you do as I say and leave him, that’s all I want. Maybe then he will understand how little you truly care for him and start to realize who really does.’
‘You are quite something, Valentina,’ I say bitterly, thinking I’ve never loathed anyone so much in my life.
She smiles. ‘It felt so easy to dismiss me, didn’t it? Well, you were wrong. So,’ she pauses, ‘I take it that you will do as I ask?’
I hesitate, hating what I’m about to do but feeling it’s my only option. I nod.
She smiles. ‘Then I will tell my friend not to release the story, but I will need evidence you aren’t seeing Alexander. Starting with you telling him you won’t be meeting him to walk to your exams tomorrow.’
I frown. ‘How can you possibly know that?’ I ask.
‘I have my ways,’ she says, clearly delighted with my confusion. ‘You will tell him you don’t want to see him and you’re going alone.’
‘But …’
‘Nothing. I will know what happens.’
‘You mean Rupert will be watching? I see, he’s still your little helper and spy, is he? Or is there more to it than that?’
Valentina pulls a face. ‘Think what you like but, yes, of course, Rupert is happy to help anyone who has Alexander’s best interests at heart.’
‘Best interests! My God, the pair of you, you are loathsome.’
‘I like to think so. Now I must go. I am meeting a friend for dinner at Le Manoir. Have a nice evening.’ And she turns on her heel with a flick of her long hair.
I watch her go, feeling like I’ve been poked with a cattle prod. I hear her heels tip-tapping down the staircase, I see her sweep out of the archway and around the quad before disappearing into the Lodge.
I sit on my bed and take a few deep calming breaths. I sit there for quite some time, thinking. Desperately trying to come up with an alternative. After a while, with a heavy heart, I pick up the phone and dial.
The next morning, Immy’s face is almost as white as her blouse. She fans herself with the black cap we’re supposed to wear en route to exams. ‘And this thing makes me look like an extra from the The Tudors. Subfusc is the most ridiculous thing ever invented.’
‘Uh-huh.’ I keep checking my phone, half expecting a message from The Witch or her Henchman, saying: ‘We’re watching you.’ And half hoping for a message somehow telling me everything is going to be all right.
‘Aren’t we supposed to be meeting Alexander in the Lodge?’
I shove my phone to the bottom of my bag. ‘He decided to make his own way.’
‘Really? You look awful by the way. You OK?’
‘I didn’t get much sleep,’ I shrug. There is no way on earth I am going to burden Immy with my problems today, or any day until she’s finished her Finals.
‘Me neither, but at least you only have three exams. I’ve got eight.’ And with that, Immy’s colour goes again so I grab her arm and manage a weak smile.
‘Come on, let’s go.’
In the end, we made it to the Exam Schools with a couple of minutes to spare. I don’t mind arriving at the last minute as it gives me less chance of bumping into Alexander. Now I scan the crowds anxiously, looking for him, but fortunately there’s no sign. Rupert, however, is there, staring at me from the other side of the queue like I’m the spawn of the Devil but, mercifully, keeping his distance. Suddenly, we’re called in and everyone surges forward to the stairs. Immy mouths ‘Good luck,’ but then one of her geographer friends grabs her arm and sweeps her off.
I’m one of the last to ascend the stairs that lead to my exam room. Every step feels leaden and I can’t help glancing behind me for a last glimpse of the street, half expecting Valentina to be there, but of course there are only the stragglers running towards the doors.
By twelve-thirty, the first two of my short papers are over, and I wander out of the Exam Schools with a throbbing head and a tongue as dry as Death Valley. While Immy has only finished her first paper by now, I’m more than halfway through. I should be filled with a sense of relief, but instead I feel numb. I have no idea how I did; I answered all the questions; I think I did OK … and considering the circumstances, OK is pretty amazing.
It’s still so damn stuffy, the thick white clouds holding in the afternoon heat. I take off my gown and stuff the ribbon that was around my neck into my bag. I’ve already taken off the thigh-highs in the bathroom at the Exam Schools but I long to go back to college and put on my cut-offs and tank top. Except I can’t go back, not yet, because I know that if I go now, he’ll be waiting outside my room. I don’t want to see him until this evening, when he will have finished his exams.
I trudge back along the street, dreading what I will see when I pull out my phone, the missed calls and the texts.
Out of the blue, I hear someone calling my name, a female voice. ‘Lauren!’ I can’t see who it is but then suddenly there’s a hand on my arm.
‘Letty!’ I exclaim, shocked, but oh so pleased to see her.
She looks at me, her expression almost as pained as mine, and her eyes dark. ‘I’ve been looking out for you everywhere. We really need to talk.’
I look at her, not knowing how to take her sudden arrival. ‘I’m so sorry, Letty, I didn’t know where to turn. I shouldn’t have thrown this on you.’ Seeing how agitated her usually composed face is, I regret my cry for help last night. What on earth did I think it would achieve?
‘You’ve done exactly the right thing,’ she reassures me, seeing my uncertainty. ‘I’m shocked, I must admit – I never thought my son would sink to such depths, and I wish he hadn’t – but I’m glad you called me. Come on, let’s go somewhere quiet. I’ve lots to tell you. It’s sorted.’
‘Are you sure you’re not angry with me for phoning you? I really didn’t want to do it.’
‘Sad, shoc
ked, yes; angry – no. Rupert needed a wake-up call and as for Valentina, that witch has been asking for a kick up her bony arse for far too long.’
She ushers me to a table in the furthest, darkest corner of a cafe in the Covered Market. ‘Now listen. Before I tell you this, you must promise faithfully never to tell Alexander what I’m going to tell you …’ Letty begins. ‘Because this is the only way I could stop Valentina from spreading her poisonous lies.’
My fingers aren’t quite steady as I replace my cup in its saucer, my mind conjuring up all sorts of bizarre scenarios. ‘Of course I promise, but what have you done?’
‘I haven’t done anything,’ Letty says grimly. ‘But Valentina has and it’s something she never wants Alexander to know, or he really will never speak to her again, although I assume he’ll probably cut off all contact with her anyway if you tell him what she’s been planning. Have you told him?’
‘Not yet, but he’s going to want to know why I’ve ignored his calls last night and this morning, and it’s going to be very hard to keep this from him. He’s very tenacious,’ I say.
She rolls her eyes. ‘It’s up to you what you say to him but whatever you do, don’t tell him what I’m about to tell you now. Promise,’ she adds urgently.
‘I promise,’ I say again, more confused than ever.
I have to strain my ears as Letty whispers. ‘I’ve never told a soul this, not even my husband, but I know my brother and Valentina were together at Falconbury.’
‘What? The general and Valentina were together, as in together having sex?’ I ask, incredulous.
‘Shhh. Yes. It was while she was staying at Falconbury. Alexander was due to come back from a tour. I heard them at it in her bedroom.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Believe me, the sounds that were coming out of that room were unmistakeable. Valentina was wailing like a banshee and as for Frederick, well, the things he was saying would make your hair curl.’
I pull a face, horrified at the idea of Valentina screwing Alexander’s father and guessing how Alexander would feel if he knew. It seems incredible, but thinking back to the way Valentina flirted with him at the hunt weekend and how attentive he was to her, I can just about believe there was more to it. The banshee wailing also rings true, having heard Valentina myself on the sex video.
‘Frederick had no choice but to admit it when I confronted him,’ Letty goes on. ‘He said it was all a dreadful mistake, had never happened before and begged me not to tell Alexander.’
She sighs and shrugs. ‘I don’t believe it was a one-off but I do think he ended it once he’d been caught out. I spent many a sleepless night wondering whether to tell Alexander despite my promise to Frederick, but he swore he’d never do it again. I had an inkling things weren’t great between Valentina and Alexander by that stage and a few weeks later they split up so I saw no point in upsetting the poor boy unnecessarily.’
‘Alexander would have gone bananas if he’d known.’
‘Of course he would. It would have completely annihilated any shred of respect he had left for his father and caused even more trouble in the family, for both Alexander and Emma. After Frederick’s death, of course, there was no way I was going to drop a bombshell like that.’
‘So I assume you threatened Valentina with telling Alexander about this now? What did she say?’
‘For once in her life, she was speechless, then she gave me a tirade of abuse before finally agreeing to keep her mouth shut and go back to Italy.’
‘So you think she will keep quiet?’
‘I think so. I was banking on the fact that she’s deluded enough to think she still has a chance with Alexander … particularly if she thinks you’re going to be off the scene at the end of term.’
She looks hard at me but I sip my tea and avoid responding. I’m very grateful – more than grateful – to Letty for her help but I’m not going to be drawn any further than that.
‘Then let that work to our advantage,’ I say. ‘Let her go on thinking that he’d have her back, as you say, so that she carries on living in fear of you telling Alexander about her and his father.’
Letty smiles weakly. ‘I’m sorry about Rupert’s involvement in this – and that’s one reason I’ve decided to step in, because I feel responsible in a way.’
‘You’re not, and I am so relieved that you’ve helped us. I’m only sorry it came to this.’
‘Well, perhaps not, but I tell you this: if my son gets into any kind of trouble after this, his father and I have warned him he’s on his own. We’ve bailed him out far too many times already and it will do him good to clean up his own mess next time.’
The late-afternoon sun still burns into me as I wait, in shorts and T-shirt now, outside the Exam Schools.
Alexander emerges from the doors. I see a couple of our friends waiting; someone shakes his hand, someone hugs him, but he’s on a mission and I know what it is. He strides into the road and jogs down the street, his gown flying behind him. He looks devastating in his army uniform and cap and my heart starts beating faster. I’ve decided I have to tell him at least the first half of the dramas I’ve been facing.
Clasping my hands together nervously, I step out from the shade of a storefront and he spots me. His expression changes from determination to relief, then anger. He quickens his pace and rushes up to me.
‘Lauren, where the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick. I’ve been calling you last night, this morning and lunchtime between exams. What’s going on?’
I take a deep breath. Ever since I met Letty, I’ve been trying to think of how much I can tell him. He needs an explanation for my terse call last night to say I couldn’t meet him today. Besides, now we’re out of the woods he ought to know the new depths to which Valentina has sunk. ‘I’m sorry I worried you but I’ve had something to sort out, and you have to promise not to explode when I tell you. You’re not going to like it,’ I say grimly.
His jaw tightens, his lips press together and I can tell how very hard he’s working to keep his feelings in check when he hears what Valentina’s been up to. Around us, in the back lane to college, people are laughing and shrieking, corks are popping and party poppers are flying into the air.
‘Why didn’t you call me last night, as soon as she’d left?’ he asks, running his hands through his hair. ‘I’d have thought of something.’
‘I didn’t want to ruin your exams. God knows, you’ve had enough on your plate this term and I wanted you to have a good night’s sleep, and also … Valentina said the only contact I could have was to break things off. I didn’t want to do anything that would make her carry out her ridiculous threats.’
‘So you agreed to dump me?’ He raises an eyebrow.
‘Of course not! Well, yes,’ I say, crestfallen, then pull back my shoulders defiantly. ‘If I want to dump you, I’ll do it on my own terms.’ His face darkens and at first I think I’ve offended him again, before I realize there is another emotion smouldering behind those inscrutable eyes, one that makes me feel quite light-headed. ‘And I also wanted to try and deal with things myself and not bother you.’
He seems very surprised. ‘You should still have told me. But how have you stopped her?’
‘You know I had tea with Letty not long ago. I thought she might be able to exert some influence on Valentina through Rupert. So I hope you don’t mind – I called her for help last night.’
He shakes his head and kisses me briefly, but with such promise, on the lips. ‘I can’t keep up, so come on, what’s Aunt Letty done to them both?’
‘Read Rupert the riot act and threatened to cut him out of her will and the family business, told him he’s hurt her more than anyone has ever hurt her before.’
‘Well, that would have hurt him, being threatened with the prospect of actually having to earn his own living. And Valentina?’
‘I have no idea,’ I lie. ‘I guess she put so much pressure on Rupert, maybe he was able to stop her. I real
ly don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me,’ I end lamely.
He blows out a breath. ‘Letty may stop Rupert but I doubt if she – or he – will have any influence over Valentina.’
‘You might be surprised …’
‘Well, anyway, don’t worry. Why don’t you leave her to me,’ he says grimly.
‘Alexander, there’s no need. I’m sure she’ll think better of doing something so stupid, because she’d ruin her reputation too,’ I say, worried that Alexander wading in may counteract Letty’s strategy. Maybe Valentina will be so furious she’ll decide to tell Alexander about her affair with his father after all. ‘I’m concerned that you calling her might tip her over the edge and make things worse,’ I add.
He frowns and his tone hardens. ‘I’m not going to sit back and do nothing after what she’s threatened. Now, go back to college.’
Seeing my questioning look, he says firmly, ‘I’ll see you tomorrow. Go home, and don’t lose any sleep over Valentina.’ He kisses me to silence my protests.
I wish it was that easy to follow his advice, but it’s pointless arguing with him any further in this mood and so I have no choice but to let him go while I hurry back to college.
Once I’ve gathered my thoughts and tried to put on a brave face, I call on Immy. Despite having exams tomorrow, she’s too wrung out to do much revision so I agree to go for a quick drink with her before she gets an early night. There’s no way I’m bothering her with my problems and sure enough, despite Alexander’s reassurance – and Letty’s intervention – I can’t completely relax.
The next morning I try to focus on my studies; perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise that my toughest paper is coming up and I can’t afford to let Valentina distract me. Even so, I can’t stop myself from constantly checking my phone, desperate for word from Alexander. What will he do? He is so angry; I hope he doesn’t do anything stupid.
It’s late afternoon before he finally calls and asks me to meet him at the house. I have to force myself not to run all the way to his place. He must have been looking out for me because as soon as I arrive, he opens the door: