Her heart fell like a rock. “What are you saying?”
“I’m going to ask to switch with Mart.”
“You coward,” she accused in whisper. She didn’t want him to go.
“You want me to stay so you can play more cat and mouse with me?” Frustration tightened his tone.
“I am not playing cat and mouse! You’re as much a game player as I am—from the beginning, you’ve baited me. We do it to each other. Don’t make out like I’m the one responsible for this mess!”
“So you admit it’s a mess.”
“I’ll admit I don’t know what to think about you. But I don’t want you to leave.” At last, she bared her heart in that honest plea.
He stared at her for a long moment. “Tell me, Alexa. What do you want from me?”
“I want things to stay the same. I want us to be friends.”
He laughed shortly. “Are we friends?”
“We are when you call me ‘princess.’”
“It’s part of the game…Alexa.” He sounded grim.
Tears burned her eyes. “Jamison.” She couldn’t form the words burgeoning in her heart. She was afraid. And truly, how could they possibly be right for each other? “Can we forget we ever kissed?”
“You want to live in denial? Because I can’t.”
“No. But I don’t want to lose you.”
His tormented gaze searched hers. “You mean that.”
“Yes! I do.” Tears swam in her eyes.
He exhaled and briefly clenched his fist. “All right. I’ll stay. But no more games. If we kiss again, I want Colin out of the picture. Forever.”
“I won’t kiss you again.” Her voice sounded thin to her own ears.
“Good night, Alexa.” He abruptly left and shut himself in his room.
Tears finally slipped down her cheeks. What was she going to do? How could she have such intense feelings for that man? Weren’t they totally wrong for each other?
Maybe it would be best if he switched with Mart, and she never saw him again. Just cut this thing off at the knees, before he wrapped around her heart anymore than he already had. She would be leaving soon, anyway. Soon it would be time to say goodbye. Pain cut through her like a knife, and Alexa ran to her room to cry.
Chapter Thirteen
Mart brought Alexa to the penthouse the next morning. Colin had already called Alexa earlier that morning, his voice sharp with worry, for Jamison had reported yesterday’s attack. Alexa assured him that she had only received a scratch. “I’m fine. Please don’t worry.”
“I blame myself. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be in danger.”
“Colin, Jamison is doing a wonderful job protecting me. Everything will be fine.”
“I’ll post another guard on you, if you’d like.”
“No!” That was the last thing she needed—two bodyguards. She could barely manage one. “I’m fine, Colin, really. Please. I’d rather just forget about it, if you don’t mind.”
After another few minutes, he’d rung off, finally agreeing to leave things as they were, and that he looked forward to seeing her soon. Thank goodness. Colin didn’t know the attack wasn’t the biggest problem in her life right now.
Alexa hadn’t seen Jamison since last night, and frankly, maybe that was a good thing. Her heart felt like it had been through the shredder.
It was time to make up her mind about Colin. Last night’s drama had made this fact abundantly clear. She had dragged her feet for long enough.
Mart keyed open the door to the penthouse and ushered her inside. A man in a white chef’s hat loitered in the kitchen. Across the room, Colin and Eve worked at the desk, their blond heads almost touching. Alexa didn’t know what she felt about that. Concern? For Colin?
“Alexa’s here,” Mart said, and disappeared into another room.
Startled, the two looked up. Colin looked momentarily disconcerted, but a feline smile curled Eve’s lips. She touched Colin’s shoulder. “I’ll be back later,” she said in a low, throaty voice.
Alexa managed not to roll her eyes. She set the scrapbooks and recorder on the coffee table while Eve took her sweet time gathering up her purse and jacket. The secretary sent Alexa a narrow look before finally exiting.
“Eve is certainly dedicated to you,” Alexa told Colin. “Working on a Sunday.”
He kissed her cheek, then scanned the scratch on her neck. However, he said nothing, for which she was grateful. “That she is. She’s my right arm. I couldn’t get on without her.”
Alexa still didn’t understand what Colin saw in the other woman, but decided it was none of her business. “Before breakfast, I’d like to go through these last scrapbooks and note the stories you want in the book.”
“Righto.” Colin grinned and relaxed on the couch, his arms along the back. “I like you, Alexa. I can relax around you.”
“You can?” She was surprised. “But I’m always pressing your nose to the grindstone. How can that possibly be relaxing?”
His fingers touched her arm. “It’s you, Alexa. You’re relaxing. Honest, open… No pretenses with you.”
“That’s me. Tactless and blunt to a fault.”
He chuckled. “Show me the scrapbooks. I’m hungry for breakfast.”
An hour passed before Alexa was satisfied. Colin made decisions about all of the stories he wanted in the last half of the book. Even better, after she had incorporated the stories, she would be finished with the scrapbooks for good.
They sampled fresh fruit while the unobtrusive chef took their omelette orders. When the steaming omelettes arrived, Alexa compared hers to the one Jamison had made. The bodyguard’s won.
“Tell me more about your first album,” she urged Colin, while nibbling toast. “How did you feel when it went platinum?” Her recorder had been on for some time. In fact, she had switched the memory card once already.
“Later,” he promised. “Right now, I want to talk about us.”
“Us?” Alexa’s heart beat faster.
“Alexa, I think you know I have feelings for you.”
“You do? Are you sure?” What words were these, babbling from her lips? “I mean… Oh.”
Colin covered her hand with his. She eyed it uncertainly.
“Alexa, I realize you don’t want to have a fling, but…” From somewhere, Colin’s famous song, “Runaway Love,” began to play.
Alexa’s gaze darted around the penthouse, trying to locate the source. Colin stood. “It’s my cell phone. I’d better get it. But we’re not finished,” he warned.
“Of course,” she said, and took a nervous gulp of orange juice.
Colin flipped open his phone and paced the room. Suddenly, he turned his back to Alexa. “What?” His voice dropped an octave. “No! When? ...How can that be? …But I just saw him. He was fine. …He is? …No! …They’ve got to be able to do... Yes, Mum…. Of course I’ll come. I’ll call you later. ’Bye.”
Alexa stood. “Colin? What is it?” When she touched his arm, he swung around, as if startled by her presence. He looked lost, and utterly anguished. “What is it?”
His palm went to his temple. “It’s me da.” His voice broke. “He’s had a heart attack. He’s in intensive care. Mum’s not certain if he’ll make it.” Shock and disbelief etched deep lines into his face.
“Oh, Colin!” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.” She hugged him, offering comfort in the only way she knew how. Slowly, his arms came around her and he crushed her tight. Harsh breaths shuddered through his body.
His breath warmed her hair, and long moments passed by. When his arms loosened she stepped back, but gripped his hands. “Surely they can do something, Colin. They do so many wonders these days.”
He pulled free. “I’m going to find the best specialist in the world. I need to call Eve.”
“Of course. Can I do anything? Anything at all?”
“Um, no. You know the band’s meeting you this afternoon at three? Here. At the penthouse.” He turned
away, phone to his ear. “Eve…”
Alexa gathered up her things. She felt useless and unsure what to do. As soon as he hung up, she said, “I’ll leave. I know you’ve got a lot to do. But my prayers will be with your father, Colin. Please let me know what happens.”
He smiled. It was tight and worried, but a smile all the same. “You’re terrific, Alexa. If I could, I’d ask you to come with me. But you’d probably feel as useless as I will, and it’d only be selfishness on my part to have you come.”
Alexa didn’t know what to say. He wanted her to come with him? “Colin…”
“Here’s Jamison, come to fetch you.”
She whirled to see her black-eyed bodyguard, and then returned her attention to Colin. Softly, she said, “I wish only the best for your dad. Let me know if I can do anything.”
“What happened?” Jamison asked.
Eve burst into the room. “Colin! I’m so sorry!” She rushed to him, and then stopped a few feet away and stiffened her shoulders, heaving breaths. She glanced at Alexa and Jamison, clearly uncomfortable with their presence. Then Colin reached for her, and she flew into his arms. “I’m so sorry, Colin.” She looked up at him. “I called your pilot. He’ll be ready to fly you home in two hours.”
“And you. You’re coming with me.”
“I am?” Eve looked wonderstruck.
“Of course. Everything’s a mess. You’ll need to straighten it out for me.” Gently, he put her from him. “As it is, I hope he’s well enough so I can do the Rome concerts next week.”
“Of course he’ll be fine,” Eve said. “He has to be.” Were those tears in Eve’s eyes?
“I’ll need help packing,” Colin said. “Can you start?”
“Of course!” Eve hurried toward Colin’s bedroom.
“Alexa, love.” Colin moved toward her. She hugged him again, and offered her cheek to kiss. “I’ll call you when I know something. Thank you for being here.”
“I’m not sure what I did. But you’re welcome.”
Colin disappeared into his bedroom, and Mart joined Alexa and Jamison in the sitting area. “What happened?” he asked.
Quickly, Alexa explained, and while she did, Colin came back out.
He said, “Mart, you’ll stay here and help Jamison. Jamison, old boy, I expect you to keep things rolling with the move to Italy. Call Paddy. Between the two of you, we’ll keep this concert on track.”
“Right.”
And then it was over. Alexa went back to her flat. She still felt stunned. She couldn’t believe what had happened. At least Colin’s father was still alive. He had a fighting chance to live. She winged a prayer heavenward for his health, and for safe travel for Colin and Eve. She wondered again what the secretary felt for Colin. A rabid devotion to her boss, or a more genuine, deeper emotion? And Colin—he had hugged Eve, and it had seemed so natural. Could he possibly have deeper feelings for his secretary than he thought?
Alexa interviewed the band that afternoon. As a whole, they were a loud, high-energy group, and it was apparent they got along well. They talked over each other, laughed hard, and zinged jokes on their comrades during the entire interview. They also remembered a bunch of funny stories from their early road tours, which allowed her a glimpse inside the lighter side of Colin’s personality. All in all, Alexa was very pleased with the material she could add to the book.
She spent the remainder of the afternoon working on the book, but found it hard to concentrate. How was Colin’s father doing? At seven o’clock, she fixed a solitary meal of scrambled eggs. Jamison had already eaten, and sat reading his thick tome. When the phone rang, she snatched it up. “Hello?”
“Alexa, it’s Colin.”
“Colin! How’s your father?” She gripped the phone tightly.
“He’s still critical, but it’s looking better. The doctor says he’s almost out of the woods, but he may need a heart bypass. I plan to stay here through Tuesday, if all goes well.”
“I’m glad. I’ll keep praying for him.”
“You do that.” He hesitated. “I know it’s doing some good. We almost lost him this afternoon. The doctor says it’s a miracle he’s still with us. I’ve said a few prayers myself.”
Alexa smiled. “Talking to God is a good start.”
“It’s time for a change for me, Alexa. I know making things right with God is part of it.”
“I’ll be praying for you, too, Colin,” she said softly.
“Thank you, love. Would you put Jamison on?”
“Of course.” She put the phone on the table and picked up her plate. “Jamison, Colin wants to talk to you.” It was the first time she had spoken to him today.
Jamison leaped to his feet. While he headed for the phone, Alexa retreated to her room with her dinner. She left the door ajar. Maybe it was wrong to eavesdrop, but she wanted to know what else might be going on with Colin’s dad, or with the move to Italy tomorrow.
She didn’t hear much. Only Jamison’s low voice asking questions. She finished the eggs and pressed ‘play’ on her recorder. Earlier, she had listened to the first chip’s worth, and this was the second one. She wanted to review it all in her mind before she transcribed it. Truthfully, she felt edgy, and didn’t want to write at all.
She listened to Colin tell another story, and then heard the last bit of their conversation before that terrible phone call came.
Colin said, “Alexa, I think you know I have feelings for you.”
“You do? Are you sure? I mean… Oh.”
She heard the barely concealed edge of panic in her voice.
“Alexa, I realize you don’t want to have a fling, but…” And then Colin’s cell phone rang.
Alexa pressed ‘rewind,’ and then played it again. Had she really sounded that horrified? That terrified? Yes, she had. She listened with embarrassed confusion.
What must Colin think of her? What was wrong with her? A wonderful man had just told her that he had feelings for her.
“I knew it. It’s not Colin or me, is it?” Jamison spoke from the doorway.
With a tiny gasp, Alexa looked up. “What are you doing—spying on me?”
“Why did you leave your door open?”
She did not reply, but clicked off the recorder. She would provide no further ammunition for her bodyguard. “I don’t recall inviting you in.”
Ignoring her not so subtle hint for him to vamoose, Jamison stepped fully into the room. The black gaze held hers. “You’re afraid of having feelings for either of us. Colin or me.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
To her dismay, he plucked up the recorder and rewound it. “Listen to yourself. You’re scared to death.”
Alexa punched the ‘stop’ button. “Get out.” She stood, but rued the fact her heels were kicked halfway across the room. Still, she could look down on him. Unfortunately, even that didn’t give her the advantage she craved.
Jamison didn’t move, which was just like him. “Colin was about to ask what you feel for him, and you panicked.”
“I most certainly did not! I just…” Alexa suddenly wasn’t sure what to say. She glared, to cover her loss of words. “I’m not sure what I felt—feel for him.”
“You’d have run out if you could.”
“What do you know?”
“You’ve beaten me off with a stick ever since you first laid eyes on me.”
Alexa wrinkled her lip. “And that couldn’t be because of your oh, so sweet personality? Oh—and let’s not forget how obnoxious you are. So what’s your problem?”
“We’re talking about you, princess.”
“We are not.” Alexa marched to the door and swung it wide. She pointed to the living room. A clear order for him to leave.
Jamison didn’t budge. That irksome man! He watched her. The black gaze bored into her soul, as if trying to hunt out her deepest secrets.
Alexa looked away. “I was confused, okay?”
/>
“Maybe so. But underneath it all, you’re scared.”
“Who made you my psychiatrist?”
“You say you want a man who fits in your box. That’s Colin. But you won’t let him get close.” Jamison stepped toward her, and she backed up against the door. “And you’re scared of me.”
Jamison did scare her. In a flash, she admitted this to herself. He possessed a raw virility that unnerved her—much like the confident, partying men had back in college. He was fully aware of who he was, and comfortable in his own skin. And she was still that scared girl who had hidden behind her textbooks.
“I am not!” Alexa cast a quick, longing glance at her heels. So near, and yet so far. She needed every psychological advantage to combat this alarming interrogation.
To her dismay, Jamison followed her gaze. His eyes narrowed. “That’s why you wear those heels, isn’t it? So you can look down at people. It’s your way to have power and control over your environment.”
“That is rubbish!”
“Is it? Why do you need to be six feet tall, Alexa? Why do you eliminate every man shorter than you, in heels? Is it because you’re afraid to have a man—any man—so you eliminate all the possibilities?”
“I don’t! Colin fits all my criteria perfectly!” Except, she didn’t think he was a Christian. Not yet, anyway.
Jamison twisted his line of questioning. “Has he kissed you yet—on the lips?”
She flushed. “How can that be any of your business?”
“He hasn’t, has he? You warn him off with your body language.”
Alexa’s mouth sagged open. “Excuse me! What do you know?”
“You’re afraid to let yourself go,” he told her. “You’re afraid to lose control of your heart to another human being. I want to know why.”
“I am not!” Her heart beat uncomfortably fast.
He stepped closer. To her chagrin she backed up, proving his point. “Sure you are. Your words tell me to back off, but your kisses tell me a different story.”
“You’re conceited! You think every woman should swoon for you.”
Her Reluctant Bodyguard Page 22