She canceled her plans for Gstaad that year. There would be no Christmas for her of any kind. She didn't have the heart for it, and she and the ministers had agreed that there was to be no formal state entertaining for six months, out of respect for her father. Whatever dignitaries she met with, she would invite for lunch. They had already shortened the official period of mourning from a year to six months.
She met with the foundation, and had quiet dinners at the palace with the prime minister, who was trying to teach her everything she needed to know about her new job. She wanted to learn everything as fast as possible, and soaked it all up like a sponge. She and her father had often spoken in depth about his policies and the intricacies of government, so it was not entirely unfamiliar to her. But the job and the decisions were now hers, with her ministers' guidance, of course.
Sylvie was with her night and day. Max and Sam were glued to her. The heavy security had not yet changed, and when Victoria called and said it would be fun to visit her, Christianna told her bluntly she couldn't come. Her childhood days were over now, she had serious things to do. She began her day in her father's old office at seven, and went straight through until late at night, just as he had.
The only thing that had changed was that Parker was able to call her now. But there was no way she could see him, even for a friendly visit between two old friends. She was single and a reigning princess, and every breath of scandal had to be kept as far away from her as possible. She told him that he couldn't come to visit her, not even for an informal dinner as an old friend she had worked with in Africa, for at least six months.
He wasn't pressing her, in fact he was a constant source of support for her. She called him every night when she finished work, sometimes at midnight for her, which was only six o'clock at night for him. He made her laugh sometimes, and she shared no state secrets with him. As much as the man she loved, he had become her best friend.
The press was also fascinated with her, and took photographs of her every time she left the palace. She found it wearing, but also realized it was part of the landscape for her now. Everything in her life had changed. The only thing that hadn't changed in the past month was the presence of her ever-faithful dog. Charles had become an office fixture now, and the staff jokingly referred to him as the royal dog. He was every bit as mischievous, boisterous, and sometimes badly behaved as he had been before. It was only his mistress who had changed. She worked endless hours, missed her father constantly, and had no time to play or relax. All she could think of now was representing her country and its citizens in the eyes of the world. She began to understand more and more the overwhelming sense of duty her father had felt, and each day she thought of him with ever greater respect and love.
And when she wasn't performing tasks of state, in the weeks after her father's and brother's awful deaths, she had to face painful tasks like going through their personal effects. Her brother's cars were quietly sold. All her father's personal things were stored. She hated walking past his empty rooms, and still felt like an interloper in his office, but she was deeply grateful to his staff for their invaluable support and assistance.
Two days before Christmas she was talking to Parker on the phone, and he had never heard her sound so tired.
“Aren't you going to do something for Christmas, sweetheart? You can't just sit there all alone.” Just hearing the loneliness and exhaustion in her voice made him sad. She had become the lonely princess in the palace in Vaduz. She had no one to spend Christmas with, no family left to be with her. And when he asked her about it, she said that all she was going to do was attend midnight mass. Other than that, even on Christmas Day, she was going to work. She had so much to learn, so much to do, so many things she needed to understand, in order to do an ever better job. She was driving herself too hard, but there was absolutely nothing he could do to help, other than talk to her every night. Their time together in Venice seemed a million years away. The only reminder of it was the little emerald band she always wore.
Parker was spending Christmas with his brother in New York that year. He was too busy with his research project to go to California over the holidays to see his father. And on Christmas Eve, she hadn't had time to speak to him that day. She was planning to call him after midnight mass that night.
She ate a quiet dinner alone, with the dog next to her. Thinking of her father and brother, and the happy times they'd shared, she had a heavy heart and had never felt as alone in her entire life.
Max and Sam went to mass with her, they were always with her now. They had become her personal bodyguards. They were with her in the car as she drove to St. Florin's. In Vaduz that year, it was an icy-cold night. There was snow on the ground, but it had been crystal clear all day, and the air was like needles in her lungs as she got out of the car and walked to the church, wearing somber black and a heavy black hooded coat. Only her beautiful face peeked out.
It was a beautiful mass. The choir sang “Silent Night” in German, and as she listened, tears rolled slowly down her cheeks. It was impossible not to think of the overwhelming losses she had sustained, and the shocking changes in her life in the past month. Even Parker was almost a distant memory now, his existence unreal, a disembodied voice on the phone. He was still the man she loved, but she had no idea when they would meet again, and lying in bed at night, she still longed for his touch.
She walked slowly to the communion rail, following the townspeople of Vaduz, who were all her subjects now. And as they passed her in the aisle, even as sad as she was that night, she smiled at them, as though thanking them for the faith they had in her. They had all been so kind to her, and so welcoming, ever since her father's death. She wanted to earn their confidence and trust, and felt she hadn't yet. Honor, Courage, Welfare. She had finally come to understand the meaning of those words.
She was almost at the altar rail, as a man in a pew just in front of her stood up, turned, and she saw his face. She stopped in her tracks and stared at him. She couldn't understand what he was doing there. He had said he would be in New York. He stood there, smiling at her, and very gently took her hand. He pressed something into her palm, and not wanting to draw attention to them, she continued to move toward the altar rail with her head bowed and a smile on her face. It was Parker.
She took communion, still holding tightly to the tiny package he had slipped into her hand, and then she saw Max watching her. He had seen him, and he was smiling, too. And so was Sam. She went back to her own pew then, bowed her head, and prayed, for her father and brother, the people she owed so much to, and finally for Parker. She lifted her face finally, and with the longing of ages, she was looking at his back, and loving him more than she ever had.
When mass ended, she waited in her pew until he was nearly in front of her, and then he stopped to let her get out. She looked up into his face, thanked him, as people smiled at her, and he quietly followed her out. She shook hands with many of her subjects that night outside the church. Parker stood among them, and she looked into his face with unbridled love as he approached.
“I just came to say Merry Christmas,” he said, smiling at her. “I hated the thought of your being alone.”
“I don't understand,” she said, not wanting to give anything away.
“I'm staying in Zurich, and I'm going back in the morning, to spend Christmas with my brother and his kids.”
“When did you arrive?” She still looked confused. Had he been there for days? But she had talked to him in Boston the day before.
“Tonight. I just came for midnight mass.” The thought of what he had done touched her heart. He had come for hours just so she wouldn't feel alone. She wanted to tell him she loved him, but she couldn't with so many people around. Max and Sam came closer and said hello to him. It was obvious that the foursome were old friends. She had slipped his little package into her pocket, and she had nothing to give him but her love.
“I can't take you home with me,” she whispered, and he laughed.
“I know,” he whispered back. “I'll come to visit some other time. In five or six months. I just wanted to give you that,” he pointed to her pocket, and as they walked away from the church together, with Max and Sam on either side of her, she reached for Parker's hand again and held it tight.
As they walked, she was surrounded by people who wanted to see her and touch her. She wished them Merry Christmas and thanked them, and then turned to Parker with an aching heart. “How can I thank you?”
“We'll talk about it. I'll call you when I get back to the hotel.” And then with a little bow to her, just like the bows all of her subjects made, he smiled at her, walked back to the car he had rented, glanced at her one more time, and drove off. He had been like a vision who had appeared to her, and disappeared into the night. It was the most amazing thing anyone had ever done. She reached into her pocket and felt the little package as she got into her own car with Sam and Max. Parker had done it perfectly. No one had suspected anything. He had been there when she needed him, just as he always was, and then he was gone. He had cost her nothing, and given much.
She waited until she was alone in her bedroom to open the little package he had left with her. It felt like it was wrapped in cotton, and it was so small she couldn't guess what it was. She wished she had been able to give him something in return.
She unwrapped it carefully, first taking the paper off, and then pulling the cotton off, and when she saw it, she gasped. It was a beautiful little diamond ring, in an old setting, and she knew instantly what it meant. But how could she accept this from him? Her father was no longer there to stand between them, but now she had a country to run, and a nation of people to represent. It was no more possible than it had been three months ago, if anything it was even less. The only difference was that now she was the reigning princess, and she made the rules and proposed the laws. She could in fact propose a law allowing her to marry a commoner, and ask for the approval of the Family Court. They would give him a title probably, if they decided to honor her request. But after all they had already given her in the past month, it was a lot to ask. She sat staring at the ring in her hand, and feeling like a young girl again, she slipped it on. It fit perfectly, as though made for her. The small diamond was beautiful, and meant more to her than her crown.
She was still looking at it in wonder when he called.
“How can you do this?” she asked him in amazement.
“I wish I could have put it on,” he said, with a voice full of love. He had just gotten back to his hotel.
“So do I.” But he had done it perfectly. He had slipped it to her so discreetly that no one could possibly have known.
“Does it fit?” he asked cautiously.
“Perfectly.”
He took a sharp breath, frightened himself this time, before he asked the next question. “So, Your Royal Highness, what do you think?” She knew exactly what he meant, but she had no idea what to say to him. The answer to that question was no longer hers to give.
“I think you're the most remarkable man I've ever known, and I love you with all my heart.” He had actually flown all the way from Boston for one night, to wish her Merry Christmas and give her the ring. And if she accepted it, he was hers, and she his.
“Well?” he asked nervously. “Is it no or yes?”
“It would have to be decided by the Family Court and Parliament. And out of respect for my father, I don't think I could ask them for a year.”
“I can wait, Cricky,” he said quietly. They already had since he left Africa at the end of July. It seemed like an eternity, but it had only been five months.
“I might be able to announce an engagement in six months,” she said cautiously. “But we couldn't marry till the end of the year.”
“Maybe by next Christmas,” he said, sounding hopeful. “What do you think the Family Court would say?”
“I could ask them to make you a Count, or something equally suitable, in order to make you eligible. To be honest, I don't know what they'd say. What about your work?” She looked worried suddenly. She couldn't ask him to give up everything for her. It wouldn't be fair.
“I'll have finished my project by then.” He had already thought about it long and hard for months, and again on the flight here. He was sure. “There's AIDS work I can do here. There's an excellent AIDS research clinic in Zurich.” He had thought of everything long before tonight.
“I don't know what they'd say. I could ask. But if they say no …” Tears sprang to her eyes at the thought. She couldn't lose him now. But nor could she abandon the people she had promised her life to only a month before. “When are you leaving?” she asked him suddenly. She was dying to see him, but there was no way she could. And he couldn't come back to visit her for months. When he did, they would have to do it right. There was no way she could ever sneak away now. He would have to visit her at the palace and come to court her. It all had to be entirely aboveboard. She had to act with honor and courage, and think of the welfare of others before herself, no matter what it cost, even love.
“My plane is at ten tomorrow morning. I'm leaving the hotel at seven, and I have to check in by eight.”
“I have to make some calls. I love you, Parker. I'll let you know before you leave. Just know how much I love you and always will.”
“The ring was my grandmother's,” he said, as though it made a difference. He had gotten it from his father on Thanksgiving. But it wasn't the ring Cricky wanted, it was him.
“I love it. But I love you more.”
She made a single phone call, but he was out. And then she lay on her bed, thinking of Parker all night. He did the same at the hotel. And heard nothing from her before he left. His heart sank as he checked out of the hotel in the morning.
The prime minister called her back at eight the next morning. She swore him to secrecy but asked him the vital questions. He said it had been done in other countries, and he didn't see why it couldn't be in theirs, if she felt it was the right thing. In fact, she had the right now to overrule the Family Court and even the parliament. She had the power, just as her father had before, but wouldn't use it on her behalf.
“It is,” she said, sounding jubilant for the first time in months. It was awful to say, and she wouldn't have to him, but even her investiture as reigning princess hadn't meant as much to her as this.
“It would have to be kept quiet for the next five or six months. You can get everyone used to the idea after that. I'll do what I can to help,” he said, sounding more like a benevolent uncle than a prime minister. She wished him a Merry Christmas then and got off the phone.
She looked at her watch. It was eight-fifteen. And he hadn't called her before he left the hotel. She had said she would call him. She picked up the phone to call security, and asked them to send Max to her room. Sounding worried, they asked if she had a problem, and she said not at all. She grabbed a piece of paper then, and scribbled a few words. Max was at her door in five minutes.
“How fast can you get to Zurich? The airport,” she asked, as she slipped the piece of paper into an envelope and handed it to him.
“An hour. Maybe a little more. Is it rushed?” He could read in her eyes how important it was to her. He smiled, knowing who he was going to see. It was easy to guess.
“It's very rushed. His flight leaves at ten for New York. It's Parker.”
“Yes, Your Royal Highness. I'll find him.”
“Thank you, Max,” she said, remembering fondly the days in Senafe when he and Sam called her Cricky. Those days were gone forever, like so many other things in her life. But others had come in their place, and more were coming still. She hoped Max would reach him in time. If not, she would call him in New York. But she wanted him to know before he left. He deserved at least that after all he'd done.
Max flew from Vaduz to the Zurich airport. He took one of the palace security cars and kept his foot on the gas. He checked for the flights leaving for New York, found the right one, and h
eaded for the gate to wait for him. The flight hadn't boarded yet. And then five minutes later he saw him, looking tired and walking slowly toward the gate, lost in thought. Parker gave a start when he saw Max, who gave him a broad smile and wished him a Merry Christmas, then handed him the envelope Christianna had given him. It was small and white, with her crown and initial on it. C with a crown overhead. He saw Parker's hands shake as he opened it, and read it carefully, as a broad smile spread slowly across his face.
She had written, “Yes. I love you, C.,” on the piece of paper. He folded it and slipped it into his pocket, and then slapped Max on the shoulder with a huge grin.
“Can I talk to her?” Parker asked as they called his flight. He was laughing to himself. He had proposed, and she had accepted, and they hadn't even kissed. But they were engaged anyway. Things were certainly different with a princess! He hadn't even slipped the ring on her finger, but had flown all the way from Boston to bring it to her, and only see her for a few minutes at midnight mass.
Max called security at the palace on his cell phone, and asked them to connect him to Her Royal Highness. He smiled at Parker as he said it. They both remembered other days when she was a Serene Highness, but only Cricky to them in Senafe. She was on the phone two minutes later, and he handed it to Parker.
“Did you get my note?” She sounded anxious but happy.
“Yes.” He beamed. “What happened?”
“I called the prime minister, and he doesn't see why it couldn't happen. As he put it, they do it in other countries, why not ours? We're getting very modern around here these days. And the truth is, I could overrule them anyway, but we have the prime minister's full support,” which would make it easier for them. And she could no longer honor her father's promise to her mother. She smiled as she looked at the ring on her finger. It was the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen. She was wearing it with the emerald band.
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