‘He is my brother,’ she said as though that explained everything. ‘And that man just wanted money. He would have said any name. He just came up with Wentworth. He might have even known that was my brother’s name. How do I know?’
‘He is the brother who sold you to de Lisle, gambled away your marriage settlement and tried to sell you a second time. He had me horsewhipped while he looked on. Why should he not stoop to attacking me and nearly killing us?’ he asked, his words nearly a snarl. ‘Blood does not always mean love.’
She glared at him. ‘He might have you attacked.’ She drew a deep breath. ‘I can believe that. I do not doubt that he had you whipped years ago, but he was young. He would never do that now.’
Perth’s voice turned deadly quiet. ‘If you believe that, then you won’t mind confronting him with this man’s accusations. Your brother will deny everything and you will be further assured of his innocence.’
Alerted by his ominous tone Lillith looked at him closely. ‘You really hate my brother, don’t you?’
‘Yes. He has used you and done everything in his power to physically hurt me.’
She took a deep breath and stood. ‘All right. I will send a note to Mathias, asking him to call. That way you will not have to travel. I will ask him with you in the room so you can see his reaction too.’ She turned away from him and went to the door. She paused before leaving. ‘Will that satisfy you?’
‘Yes,’ Perth said.
She did not rise when he left the room. She did not think she could lift her hand, let alone get to her feet. This felt like a nightmare with no happy ending. She had argued for Mathias, but a tiny kernel of pain and doubt made her chest ache.
Mathias had done so many despicable things. But, God, she did not want to believe him capable of this.
Chapter Eighteen
Lillith sat rigidly in a heavy oak chair. Perth lounged on a green-and-gold upholstered settee. Doctor Johnson had just left, having pronounced his patient to be doing well but having a mild fever. He had recommended bed.
They were in the front drawing room. A gold carpet covered the wooden floors and green-flocked gold curtains framed large windows that looked out on to the street. The light was good and she would be able to see every nuance on her brother’s face when she told him about that man’s accusations.
Neither she nor Perth said a word to each other. They had not spoken since he left her in the breakfast room. She had sent word to him about the meeting through Simmons, and Simmons had brought back Doctor Johnson’s diagnosis.
She had not been capable of hearing anymore about Mathias.
The door opened and Simmons announced, ‘Mr Wentworth.’
Mathias saw Lillith first and headed to her. ‘I came as soon as I got your note,’ he said. He saw Perth when it was too late to sit further away. ‘Perth,’ he managed through gritted teeth.
Perth nodded. ‘It has been a while, Wentworth. Had any big wins lately?’
Lillith frowned at Perth. ‘Stop that,’ she ordered. He gave her a bland look, his face completely unreadable. ‘Please have a seat, Mathias,’ she said, turning back to her brother.
She waved to the chair closer to her than to Perth. A large, heavy table laden with books, pictures and candlesticks provided a type of barrier between the two men. She did not think that in his current condition Perth could come over the table if something went wrong. She instantly pushed the idea aside. Nothing was going to go wrong because Mathias was innocent of that awful man’s charges.
Mathias crossed one elegantly shod leg over the other. ‘I hope you are doing well,’ he said to the air in Perth’s direction.
‘I have been worse,’ Perth drawled. ‘In fact, ten years ago I found myself bedridden for nearly a month.’
‘So I heard,’ Wentworth said.
Lillith looked from one to the other. They were talking about the time Perth had been whipped. It made her uneasy to see her brother talk so cavalierly about an injury he had been responsible for causing. The callousness showed a side of Mathias that she was seeing more and more of. It hurt. She took a deep, shuddering breath.
‘Mathias,’ she started, her voice too loud. ‘Mathias,’ she began again more quietly, ‘I have asked you here to tell you this horrible thing an awful man, of no account, has told us about you.’ She gripped her fingers tight and told herself not to worry. It was all lies. ‘I know everything he said is a lie, but…’
Mathias’s gaze flicked from one to the other. His jaw twitched, a nervous habit that Lillith knew only surfaced when he was wary.
‘Go on,’ he said.
In a rush, she told him everything.
Perth stared at Mathias. His voice was cold and so deadly soft that it was barely audible. ‘This time you went too far, Wentworth. This time you endangered Lillith. No matter what answer you give here, I will see that you are ruined.’
Mathias’s gaze flicked to Perth before he looked away. The only evidence that he had even heard her was the continued tick. Wentworth, debauched libertine and addicted gambler and coward, carefully picked a scrap of non-existent lint from his sleeve and made no eye contact. ‘Perth knows the truth, Lillith.’
Lillith’s mouth dropped. She felt as though she had been sucked dry of everything. She sank deeper into the leather cushions. All she could do was stare in dismay at her brother.
Perth watched Lillith’s face blanch and her shoulders slump. Wentworth never once looked at his sister. For that alone, Perth wanted to beat the man insensate. Still, he did nothing and said nothing. What happened next depended on Lillith. He thought she would defend her brother’s indefensible actions. She had so many times in the past that he had no doubt she would do so again, no matter how much worse these last were.
Lillith’s eyes shone with tears but none spilled. ‘You did have those thugs attack Perth. And you did have someone shoot at us,’ she finally said, her voice barely audible. ‘Why?’
As though he merely spoke of the weather, Wentworth said, ‘The imbeciles were to beat Perth up, hopefully warn him away from you. It had worked once before. As to the shooting, they were supposed to follow Perth and get him. They were stupid enough to shoot when he was with you. That was not supposed to happen. I truly did intend to meet you.’
She shrank further into her chair, her face pinched by pain and disillusionment. Perth nearly rose and went to her. Now, more than any time since he had known her, she needed his support. He hardened his resolve. She also needed to see her brother for what he really was.
‘As to why,’ Wentworth continued, gazing out the open windows now, ‘I told you not to marry Perth. He was not, is not the man for you.’ He looked at the Earl. ‘I told you to leave her alone.’
Perth returned his look. ‘I do as I please.’
‘You left her alone before.’
‘That was because she was married before I could do anything, and when I challenged de Lisle to an honourable duel that might have made her a widow, he beat me. I had no other choices.’
Outside snow began to fall. The wood on the fire cracked, sending a minor explosion of sparks into the room to die harmlessly on the carpet.
‘How could you?’ Lillith demanded, beginning to get some of her colour back. ‘How could you do such despicable things?’
Wentworth looked uncomfortable for the first time. ‘I had to. Perth has refused to help me financially. I am facing ruin and ostracism from the ton. De Lisle saved me before. I needed you to marry another man who would pay my debts or give you the money to do so.’
‘Gambling,’ she spat. ‘I should have known. We have already had this discussion. I just did not realise how far you would go to support your habit.’ She looked at him and disgust marred her features. ‘You are despicable, Mathias.’ She rose and went to stand over him. ‘You are worse than despicable. You are dishonourable. Even by your warped standards, you should know that.’ She sucked in air, her chest rising and falling.
‘I did what I had to,’
he said softly, never showing by expression or tone that he felt remorse.
The tears that had glistened before started falling. Her hands shook and she made no effort to stop them. ‘Leave my home. Leave England. Not even you, my brother, a friend of the Prince of Wales, can do the things you have done and get away with them.’
Mathias managed to stand by leaning away from her and angling behind the chair that now separated them. ‘I won’t go to the Continent. No one but you and Perth knows.’
‘You will,’ she nearly shouted. ‘You had my husband attacked and then shot. He might have been badly injured. He might have been killed. You did all of that because of your gambling debts. You will go to the Continent or I will tell everyone in the ton what you have done. I will ruin you.’
‘You are hysterical,’ he said haughtily. ‘You will do nothing of the sort. If you ruin me, you ruin yourself. Not even Perth’s rank will save you.’
‘I don’t care,’ she retorted. ‘You will go. I don’t want you near us where you might decide to do something else. Next time—’ she took a deep breath ‘—next time you might kill him. Go now. Today. Or I swear I will do everything I have threatened.’
Perth rose and took a step towards them. He had never seen Lillith like this where her brother was concerned. He had never expected to. The most he had thought would happen was that she would rant and rave at him and tell him to stay away. Never had he thought she would banish him to the Continent. And especially not for him.
Wentworth stood his ground for long minutes as he and Lillith stared at each other. ‘What happened to loving me because I am your brother?’ he finally asked.
She swiped at her tears. ‘You have gone beyond what I can accept. You nearly killed my husband and all because you wanted me to marry another man who would pay your gaming debts. Now it is my shame to be your sister.’ She dropped her hands to her sides and clenched them. Her face turned stony. ‘Get out of my house and do not come back. Do not go to my London house either. You are no longer welcome in any place where I am. And…if you are not on your way to Dover by tomorrow morning, I swear to you that I will tell the world what you have done.’
For the first time since Perth had known Wentworth, he thought the man felt something besides self-interest. He almost looked deflated.
‘You leave me no choice,’ Wentworth finally said in a voice gone dead.
She glared at him, saying nothing. After what seemed an eternity to Perth, Wentworth left. Simmons met him at the door, and Perth knew the butler would escort Wentworth to the door. Only then did Perth go to Lillith.
He went to put his arms around her, but she shoved him away and moved to the window where she could watch her brother leave. Perth heard the sounds of wheels on cobbles and knew that Wentworth drove away. Only then did she turn to him.
‘Are you satisfied?’ she asked bitterly.
‘Yes.’ There was nothing else he could say to her that was not a lie.
‘Good. Then please go away so I can be miserable in private.’ She turned from him again and stared resolutely out of the window, even though he saw her shiver from the cold he knew to be coming through the glass.
He took a step towards her. The long, elegant length of her back begged for his touch, his comfort. His heart begged him to touch and comfort her. Closing the distance between them was hard, but not as hard as what had to follow.
‘Lillith,’ he murmured when only inches separated them. ‘Please look at me. I have things to tell you.’
Her shoulders hunched and she crossed her arms on her chest and still refused to look at him. ‘There is nothing you can say to ease the pain of what you just forced me to acknowledge.’
He sighed. ‘Did you want to remain ignorant of what your brother is willing to do? I had thought you stronger than that.’
She took a hiccuping sob and he could not help himself. He gripped her shoulders and drew her back against his chest. The need to comfort her was paramount. It was an emotion that he had thought cut out of him ten years before.
‘Lillith,’ he crooned, ‘I am sorry for what has happened, but I cannot be sorry that you finally know. I cannot, no matter how much it hurts you.’
She stiffened under his fingers, a reaction he would have thought hard for her to do since she had already been cold as ice. ‘I think I must go away for a while,’ she said. ‘I need time to accept what I have learned today. Perhaps I will stay here in London, in my house, while you go to the country. Yes,’ she said with increasing determination, ‘that is what I will do. It will be for the best.’
‘No,’ he said, the word a shot. ‘I won’t allow it.’
The patience he had hoped to have with her evaporated. He twisted her around and caught her chin in his hand. The old anger flashed in her eyes, but it brought him no familiar excitement.
He was too scared.
Sweat broke out on his brow. He knew that if he did not tell her now that he loved her, if he did not open himself up to possibly be hurt by her again, that he would lose her. She had been through too much and he had offered her too little. What he had to do, open himself to her, was the hardest thing he had ever done. It made taking a pistol shot in the shoulder seem a mere bagatelle.
Still he took a deep breath. ‘Lillith, my wife. My love.’ The ultimate words stuck in his throat.
Surprise, shock, wonderment moved over her face as she looked at him. The tears that had flowed for her brother stopped as she cried out softly, ‘Perth. Jason, what are you saying?’
He felt her trembling in his arms. The hurt and anger of seconds before might never have existed to look at her eyes now. It humbled him to know the power he had over her happiness. It humbled him and made him very grateful.
‘I…’ he faltered again. ‘It is easier to go into battle than to say I love you.’ He smiled down at her, drinking in the love that shone in her face. ‘I love you, Lillith, Countess of Perth, mother of my children. I love you more than life itself and I always have.’
‘But why now?’ She shook her head just a little, perplexed by what to her was a sudden change.
He shrugged. ‘I have always loved you. I just refused to believe it after what happened before. But I knew I wanted you more than life itself, and when I knew you carried my child I had to have you. But…’ he paused, hoping his next words would not cause a rift ‘…I could not allow myself to trust you as long as I knew that your brother was first in your affections. I knew he did not want you married to me and would do anything to separate us. As long as that possibility was there, I could not, would not, did not even let myself realise—that I love you.’
The flash of irritation that had entered her eyes dissipated to melting blue love. ‘Oh, Jason. I am truly sorry. I never knew. Before now, I could not have abandoned Mathias. But I can promise you this: no matter what might have happened, he would have never separated us.’
He raised one brow in doubt.
‘It is true,’ she said. ‘For I have loved you from the beginning. That is why I did not want to marry you. I did not want to see you every day, knowing you did not love me when I loved you above all else. I did not think I could stand it and stay sane. But the child changed everything.’
‘For you, not for me,’ he said softly. ‘The child gave you a reason to marry me. I have always wanted you, but I had to get beyond my own hurt to discover that I had never stopped loving you.’
He bent down to kiss her; before he did so, he asked gently, ‘Lillith, will you marry me again, for real?’
She wound her arms around his neck and pulled his mouth to hers. ‘Yes, my love. Yes.’
Epilogue
Lillith gazed around at the small party gathered here at Ravensford’s country seat for the Christmas season. The Duke of Brabourne and his bride were back from the Continent. She had taken a liking to the Duke and his wife almost instantly. There was something about a reformed rake that greatly appealed to her feminine side. He also treated his wife as though she were
his most cherished possession. For her part, Juliet, Duchess of Brabourne, melted every time her husband so much as glanced at her.
She watched the men casually talking by the fireplace. It was obvious that they knew each other well and liked and respected each other.
‘A toast to our newest newlyweds,’ Brabourne said, lifting his glass of whisky, the drink of preference for all three. ‘May they live long and be fruitful.’
‘May we all live long and be fruitful,’ Perth said with a loving look at Lillith as he drank.
‘Which we are all doing our best to fulfil,’ Mary Margaret said meaningfully.
Lillith laughed. All three women were in the first stages of pregnancy.
‘Ahem.’ Perth cleared his throat. ‘I might as well make a clean breast of everything.’ He gave his two friends a sly grin. ‘You particularly will be interested in what I have to say,’ he said to Ravensford.
Ravensford’s green eyes narrowed.
‘I could almost be embarrassed except that what I did turned out for the best—as all of you will agree,’ Perth continued.
‘What did you do, Perth, write those appalling bets about us in Brook’s Betting Book?’ Ravensford demanded. ‘That would explain why none was ever written about you and Lillith.’
Perth gave a deprecating shrug, then burst into laughter. ‘Who other? I could tell it was the only way you and Brabourne would come to the sticking point. And you would have been miserable for the rest of your lives if you had let Juliet and Mary Margaret get away.’ He raised his glass again. ‘I did it for the best.’
‘You rogue,’ Ravensford said, laughter bubbling in his voice. ‘I should have known.’
Lillith marvelled at her husband. He was an arrogant, domineering man who liked his own way, but he was also perceptive enough to know that his friends had been in love and unwilling or unable to admit it to themselves. Much as Perth had been.
She rose and went to his side. ‘Jason, you are incorrigible,’ she murmured.
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