by Judi Fennell
And she definitely hadn’t been upset when Dena had called to say her son had a fever and they couldn’t join them, but maybe they could do it another time? Beth hadn’t reminded Dena that there wouldn’t be another time with Bryan once he left.
Bryan jogged back and scooped Maggie up in his arms. “Come on, Mags. You need to lead us.”
“Yay! I like doing that. I did it in school once. I was the leader of the Halloween parade.”
That’d been the last Halloween Mike had been alive. Obviously, they hadn’t known it then, but God, how Beth remembered it now. They’d both been beside themselves with indulgent laughter and tears as Maggie, dressed in her favorite princess costume, had perfected the royal wave as she’d led her classmates around the parade route at preschool. Then she’d stopped right in front of them, curtsied, and blew them a kiss with, “I love you, Mommy and Daddy,” loud enough for all the parents to hear. Even now, Beth’s heart thudded at the memory. Sometimes God gave you gifts in ways you never expected, and it was those moments that always caught her off guard and made her appreciate them that much more.
Like now. Bryan had her daughter on his shoulders and her head was thrown back as she laughed her infectious belly laugh. It got the boys laughing, too, then filtered back to her and Kelsey. A moment in time she’d cherish forever; when a new man had come into her life and brought the laughter back.
“I wanna do the log flume!”
For about a minute.
“I want to do the rock wall!”
“No, the net climb!”
“The spider!”
“Ferris wheel!”
“Guys,” said Bryan, commanding their attention with that one word in a way no one else could. “We’ll be here all day. We’ve got time for all of it. So let’s do what Maggie wants first, then take turns doing what everyone else does. Including your mom.”
Bryan smiled at her and Beth felt her knees melt.
“So what do you want to do, Beth?”
He was asking her this and Beth, to her shame, went right for a bed and the two of them naked.
“Log flume.” That was a no-brainer. She needed something to cool herself off.
Which was how she found herself walking behind Bryan again, this time with his shorts plastered to his backside, thoroughly enjoying the show and making no bones about it to herself. Being a slowpoke had its advantages.
The Ferris wheel came next so they could scope out the rest of the park—and because making Maggie wait would be torture for all of them.
Beth and Bryan rode in one car with Maggie and the twins, while Kelsey and Jason got their own car with a stern admonition to behave themselves from Bryan.
Beth hid her smile. Those two knew better than to do something stupid on a Ferris wheel. She had about another year and a half before Jason reverted back to stupid teenage boy stunts, but right now, fear continued to be his motivating factor. Still, Bryan looking out for her kids made the butterflies start fluttering again.
“Ooh, look at our van down there!” said Maggie, leaning a little too excitedly over the edge of their car. “It looks like one of Mark and Tommy’s play cars.”
Beth went to grab for her, but Bryan had a good grip on the waistband of her shorts.
“Where?” Tommy climbed onto the seat and Beth had to lunge to keep him from going over. “Thomas John Hamilton, sit down in your seat this instant.”
“Aww, but Mom, then I won’t be able to see our van.”
“If you go sailing over the edge, you’re never going to see it.” Bryan tugged Tommy’s leg. “Sit.”
Not one word of protest left Tommy’s lips. With her, he’d argue and rationalize his actions. She was sure he was going to be an attorney when he grew up.
“Yeah, Tommy, you’re supposed to sit down in Ferris wheels,” said his brother, smugly. “Don’t you know anything?”
“I know that you’re a dufus.”
Maggie giggled, which didn’t help matters.
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
“Guys.”
And just like that, the boys shut up. Even Maggie stopped giggling at Bryan’s tone. They were good kids and usually listened to her, even if it took a little more effort for her than Bryan had to make. But he was new to them. A novelty. His word carried more weight than hers, since they’d listened to her for so long. She’d forgotten how much easier it was with a partner to balance parenting duties.
A thud landed in her stomach. Parenting duties. That’s exactly what this was like. Had been, since Bryan had shown up this morning. It’d been all about the kids. He’d spared her a quick smile—a quick, devastating, smile that had set all sorts of what if scenarios into action—then had started working on getting everyone ready and into the van for the park as if they’d done it a dozen times before. Beth was amazed—and worried. How quickly she—and they—had accepted it.
The ride ended with a plan in place for the rest of the morning’s rides and then lunch. With five kids, someone was always hungry and usually it was Jason. Beth couldn’t imagine the day when all three of the boys were teenagers. She’d have to get a second job just to feed them.
“I’m gonna get three hotdogs for lunch, too.” Of course Mark would because Jason had just said he was going to, and Mark had taken to emulating his older brother since Mike’s death. Before then, he’d been all about being just like Mike.
Mark needed a dad. As did Tommy. So did Jason.
And the girls . . . girls needed their father.
“Race you, Bryan!”
Kelsey was challenging Bryan to a race? Kelsey didn’t run—it messed up her hair and made her sweat. She hated to sweat. The only reason she hadn’t piled on the eyeliner and mascara she liked to wear—that she’d pilfered from someone because Beth wasn’t a fan of twelve-year-olds in makeup—was the threat of raccoon eyes from the heat.
But apparently all that went by the wayside with Bryan around, and her daughter’s long brown hair flew behind her like a horse’s tail as she took off toward the Tilt-A-Whirl, long legs eating up the ground.
She was going to be gorgeous. All the signs were there and the interest in looking good for boys . . . Beth only had to watch her daughter look at Bryan to see that hormones had kicked in.
A girl should have a father to help her navigate the tricky world of hormonal teenage boys.
Stop it. You are not putting Bryan Manley in that role. He’s leaving, remember? Has a life that doesn’t include your five children. Or you. Get that through your head and you’ll be a lot happier. Kara didn’t know what the hell she was talking about.
She might have believed her subconscious if it hadn’t added that last part. Kara had known exactly what she was doing, both in hiring Bryan specifically and in spilling her guts at the happy hour, thereby putting the idea in Beth’s head. Well, making the idea bigger in Beth’s head.
Shaking the thought out of her head, or at least into the far recesses, she hurried up to her kids and Bryan at the ride. She used to love this one as a kid.
“Mom, you have to ride with Bryan and Maggie or it’ll be uneven from the weight.”
“Are you saying I weigh what Bryan does?” She ruffled her hand through Kelsey’s hair.
Kelsey pulled away. “Mom! My hair’s going to get all messy.”
“Duh, it already is.” Maggie rolled her eyes with such a worldliness Beth was afraid to ask where it’d come from. “You were running.”
“Bryan beat you, you know,” said Jason, finally catching up to them with his distinctive lope he never changed for anyone or anything.
“Nuh-uh. I won. Right, Bryan?” Kelsey’s hand went on Bryan’s arm and the smile on her face was so genuine, Beth’s breath caught . How natural it was for her daughter to touch him, to ask him a question, to have that camaraderie between them.
If only he wasn’t going to leave. If only he could stay and have a normal life with them.
If onlys were as useless to let into he
r life as what ifs, so Beth slammed that mental door shut and focused on the fact that she was about to get onto a ride that would have her smashing up against the hottest man in the world. Was there a downside to this?
They climbed in and pulled the safety bar back. Beth was in the middle, Bryan to her right, and Maggie on her left to allow for the centrifugal force that would send them slamming into him.
Beth tried not to. She did, but the ride was too strong, and after the first time they were whipped around the cabin, her wrists straining from the death grip she had on the safety bar, Beth gave up. His shoulders were big and strong enough to take her weight. He’d known what he was signing up for when he’d gotten on the ride.
Maggie was squealing as the second slam hit them before they changed direction. Beth wrapped her arm around her youngest as the force sent her careening back into Bryan again.
His chest was just as strong as those shoulders. And, oh my, what his flexing muscles felt like against her back . . .
And then there was the arm he wrapped around her shoulders, plastering her to his side.
“Stay here,” he said in her ear, the loud music and children’s squeals making it seem like a whisper—complete with a skin-shivering breath across the back of her neck. “Hang on to Maggie and we’ll just go with the flow.”
She wanted to go with the flow all right.
“Relax, Beth. I’m not going to bite, I promise.” He laughed when he said it, reminding her how he’d said it under the gazebo when he’d kissed her.
The ride spun them around again, and Bryan’s other hand landed next to hers on the safety bar and, ohmygod, the skin shivers ratcheted up to quaking. And then he shifted his foot to brace himself in place, his calf brushing hers, and Beth couldn’t stop some quivering.
Seriously? She quivered?
“You okay?” he said in her ear again, giving her yet more shivers.
Hell, she hated that Kara’s idea had merit. She should just have a fling with him. She obviously had needs and Bryan could definitely meet them.
Could she do that? Have a fling?
Duh . . .
Okay, so physically she obviously could, but mentally? Emotionally? She’d never done that before. She was a commitment sort of person. What would it be like to just, for once, take the adventure and live a little?
“Beth?”
She looked at him over her shoulder and at that moment, the ride shifted, and somehow Beth’s lips ended up on his.
Holy moly, it was amazing.
The hand he’d had on her shoulder keeping her against his side now became buried in her hair. Bryan didn’t let her move (not that she was planning to) as he did some delicious skin-shivering, toe-curling moves with his lips on hers.
What might have started out because of centrifugal force was continuing thanks to the force of nature.
• • •
HE was kissing Beth.
He shouldn’t.
He needed to stop.
This wasn’t a good idea.
All of this ran through his mind, but Bryan didn’t stop. Couldn’t. This was . . .
It was Beth.
The ride shifted again, but Bryan refused to let it separate them. He flexed his fingers in her hair, keeping her head right where it was so he could keep her lips right where they were—right where he wanted them—and he grasped her other hand on the safety bar, the most physical contact he could get right now. He wanted more, but he’d take what he could get.
And, God, he wanted this. He wanted her. Wanted to taste her again, inhale the scent and taste that were all Beth. The ones that would keep him up nights when he left.
No, he wasn’t going to think about leaving her. Not yet. Not now.
The ride shifted and, shit, separated them. Beth’s startled gaze met his and he could see just how much the kiss had affected her, too. Her breathing was shallow and the grip she had on the safety bar beneath his fingers said a lot.
“Beth.” He didn’t know what to say, but he had to say something and her name was music to his ears. Such a simple yet beautiful name, it could be said on a sigh with such feeling, or ground out in a moment—or hour—of passion, or whispered softly with full emotion behind it. It was a perfect name, just like her.
Then she licked her lips and, holy hell, the rest of him wanted in on the action.
He had to laugh. Here he was, out in public on an amusement park ride, where the whole world could see, with her five-year-old daughter on the other side of her, and all Bryan could think of was turning Beth to face him, wiggling her out of her shorts, and settling her down on top of him. Now that would be one hell of a ride.
Thankfully, this ride came to an end before his hormones got the better of his judgment, and he brushed her cheek with the backs of his fingers, reluctant to stop touching her but knowing he had to. “Thank you.”
She looked startled. “For what?”
He was glad to hear her voice was shaky. And breathy.
“For that kiss. I needed that.”
She glanced at Maggie who, thankfully, was engrossed in the sights and sounds of what was going on around them, and not what was going on inside this ride. “Needed?”
Shit. He hadn’t meant to go there. He brushed some hair out of her face as the safety bars clicked open on the ride. “Let’s talk later.”
• • •
TALK. Bryan wanted to talk.
That wasn’t what Beth wanted to do. What was she supposed to say? God, yes, can I jump your bones?
How exactly did one give a guy the okay to get the ball rolling on something like this?
And was she committed to getting that ball rolling?
As she watched him swing Maggie onto his shoulders, then wave the twins over to walk beside him, asking each one how the ride was, thanking Jason and Kelsey for looking out for their brothers, Beth knew her answer was an unequivocal yes. She wanted Bryan, and if she could only have him for a night, she’d be foolish to not take the chance.
But she wasn’t about to share any of it with anyone. Whatever they did together would be for her alone.
Chapter Twenty-six
BRYAN couldn’t remember a day when he’d had so much fun. Or was so exhausted. And he’d thought filming stunts was hard work? Nothing could compare to keeping track of five kids at an amusement park, feeding said brood, and refereeing the bickering over anything from lunch to what flavor of cotton candy to get to who was sitting where on the van ride home.
Thank God the three younger ones had fallen asleep and the older two had their earbuds in.
He glanced at Beth, her face illuminated by the dash and street lights. She was beautiful in a graceful, quiet sort of way. Calming. Soothing. Well, except when he touched her. And kissed her. And held her.
Or thought about doing any of those things. He wanted Beth with an intensity that defied logic, given that she should be everything he didn’t want.
Yet was everything he did.
He reached for her hand. The older two were zoned out and no one else would notice.
Would she let him hold it?
She looked at him, startled, then glanced back and relaxed when she saw what he’d seen.
He squeezed her fingers gently. She looked at their hands, then back at him.
She ran her tongue over her lips.
God, what that did to him. He knew what her tongue felt like. Wanted to feel it again on his lips. Wanted to pull her close and press her soft, curvy body against him, and let her feel what she did to him.
You’re gonna regret this, Manley.
Probably. But right now, he didn’t care. Today had been perfect. What was more perfect than ending it with her in his arms?
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. Beth’s gorgeous chocolate eyes followed him the whole way, her lips parting with a soft O she probably wasn’t even aware of.
But he was. He was aware of the quickened flutter in her throat and the way her eyes widened
when he ran his thumb over the spot he’d just kissed before kissing it again.
They pulled up her driveway and Bryan reluctantly let go to maneuver the van into the garage.
Kelsey and Jason came out of their trances when the garage door went up and the light came on, but the three younger ones didn’t budge.
“I’ll carry them in if you can hold the doors.”
Beth shook her head and caught Jason by the sleeve as he went to walk past her. “Jase, take Tommy. Bryan will carry Mark and I’ll get Maggie. Kelsey, please hold the door for us.”
She peeled the sweaty, grimy clothes off her sleeping children, pulled on T-shirts, then tucked them into bed before heading into the kitchen to thank Bryan before he left.
She so didn’t want him to leave.
He handed her a glass of ice water when she walked in, then reached around her to turn off the kitchen light, so that only the moonlight filtering in through her greenhouse window above the kitchen sink and the sliders off the deck lit the room.
“Let’s go out on the deck,” he said, his voice so low she thought he’d hear the pounding of her heart over it.
Beth swallowed the sip of water she’d taken and preceded him onto the deck after he swept a hand forward for her to do so.
She watched him close the sliders behind him, allowing herself to enjoy every step he took until he was by her side.
She nervously sipped her water again, feeling Bryan’s eyes on her the entire time.
He took the glass from her when she’d finished. “Still thirsty?”
She shook her head. If she’d tried to say anything, she’d be a liar, because suddenly her mouth had dried up and it was all she could do to get that last little bit down her throat.