She kept mulling it over, wishing that she had and then just as quickly dismissing the idea. Once she set off down that route there would be no turning back; she would have to wait and see if Mac believed her. The thought that he might think she was lying was more than she could bear. It would be better not to say anything rather than have to endure his contempt.
She was due in to work at lunchtime the following day. By the time she arrived, there was quite a long queue of patients waiting to be seen. Janet waved as she crossed Reception and Bella waved back although she didn’t stop. There was a child screaming and it seemed propitious to go and check what was happening before the other children started to get upset. The noise was coming from the treatment room so she went straight there, frowning when she opened the door and was assailed by the shrill screams of an angry toddler.
‘What’s going on?’ she asked, dropping her coat onto a chair.
‘Alfie fell off his scooter and cut his knee,’ Laura Watson, one of their most experienced nurses, told her. She rolled her eyes. ‘Unfortunately, he won’t let me look at it ’cos it’s sore.’
‘I see.’ Bella crouched down in front of the little boy. He was clinging to an older woman who she guessed was his grandmother. ‘That’s an awful lot of noise, Alfie. You’re going to scare Robbie if you scream like that.’
The little boy stopped screaming and peeped at her through his fingers, distracted by the mention of the unknown Robbie. Bella smiled at him. ‘That’s better. Have you met Robbie yet? He’s rather shy and only comes out of his cupboard when he thinks nobody is looking. I’ll go and see if I can find him.’
Standing up, she crossed the room and opened one of the cupboards that held their supplies. Robbie, the toy rabbit, was sitting on a shelf so she lifted him down and carried him back to the little boy.
‘Here he is. He must like you, Alfie, because he came straight out of his cupboard and didn’t try to hide.’ She handed the toy to the child then glanced at the older woman. ‘If you could pop him on the bed then I can take a look at his knee,’ she said sotto voce.
The woman quickly complied, sighing with relief when Alfie carried on playing with the toy. ‘Thank heavens for that! I thought he would never stop screaming.’ She smiled at Bella. ‘You must have children, my dear. It’s obvious that you know just how to distract them.’
‘Sadly, no, I don’t.’
Bella smiled, trying to ignore the pang of regret that pierced her heart. Having a family had always been her dearest wish, something she had assumed would happen once she had got married, but Tim had never been keen on the idea. Whenever she had broached the subject, he had brushed it aside, claiming that he had no intention of being tied down by a baby at that stage in his life. It was only after she had told him that she wanted a divorce that he had tried to persuade her to stay with promises of them starting a family, but she had refused. The last thing she’d wanted was to have a child to hold their marriage together, a sticking-plaster baby.
‘Then you should.’ Alfie’s grandmother laughed ruefully as she ruffled her grandson’s hair. ‘Oh, they’re hard work, but having children is one of life’s blessings. And there’s no doubt that you’d make a wonderful mother!’
* * *
Mac paused outside the treatment room. The door was ajar and he had heard every word. He frowned as he recalled the regret in Bella’s voice when she had explained that she didn’t have any children. Quite frankly, he couldn’t understand it. According to Tim, Bella had refused his pleas to start a family, claiming that her career came first and that having children was way down her list of priorities, but it hadn’t sounded like that, had it? It made him wonder all of a sudden if Tim had been telling him the truth.
It was the first time that Mac had considered the idea that his friend might not have been totally honest and it troubled him. He had accepted what Tim had said without question but had he been right to do so? What if Tim had tried to cast himself in a more favourable light by laying the blame on Bella? What if it hadn’t been all her fault that the marriage had failed? What if Tim had been more than partly to blame?
After all, it couldn’t have been easy for her to cope with Tim’s dependence on those painkillers. Mac had worked in a rehab unit and he knew from experience how unreasonable people could be when they were in the throes of an addiction. Bella must have been through the mill—struggling to help Tim conquer his addiction, struggling to support him even when his behaviour probably hadn’t been as good as it should have been. As he made his way to the cubicles, Mac realised that he needed to get to the bottom of what had gone on. Although Tim was his oldest friend, he owed it to Bella to ascertain the true facts. The thought that he might have misjudged her didn’t sit easily with him, quite frankly.
Mac didn’t get a chance to speak to Bella until it was almost time for him to go off duty. He was on his way to the office when he saw her coming along the corridor. She gave him a cool smile as she went to walk past, but there was no way that he was prepared to leave matters the way they were. It was too important that they got this sorted out, even though he wasn’t sure why it seemed so urgent.
‘Have you got a second?’ he asked, putting out his hand. His fingers brushed against her arm and he felt a flash of something akin to an electric current shoot through him. It was all he could do to maintain an outward show of composure when it felt as though his pulse was fizzing from the charge. ‘There’s something I need to ask you.’
‘I’m just on my way to phone the lab about some results I need,’ she said quietly. However, he heard the tremor in her voice and realised that she had felt it too, felt that surge of electricity that had passed between them.
‘Oh, right. Well, I won’t hold you up. Maybe we can meet later? You’re due a break soon, aren’t you? How about coffee in the canteen?’ he suggested, struggling to get a grip. What on earth was going on? This was Bella, Tim’s wife—OK, technically, she was Tim’s ex-wife—but it still didn’t seem right that he should be acting this way, yet he couldn’t seem to stop it.
‘Why? I don’t mean to be rude, Mac, but why do you want us to have coffee?’
She stared back at him, her green eyes searching his face in a way that made him feel more than a little uncomfortable. If he came straight out and admitted that he wanted to check if she was solely to blame for the demise of her marriage then it would hardly endear him to her, would it? He came to a swift decision.
‘Because we need to clear the air.’ He shrugged, opting for a half-truth rather than the full monty. ‘I get the impression that working with me is a strain for you, Bella, and it’s not what I want. It’s not what you want either, I expect.’
‘You’re imagining it. I don’t have a problem about working with you.’ She gave him a chilly smile. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me...’
She walked away, leaving him wishing that he hadn’t said anything. After all, he hadn’t achieved anything, probably made things even more awkward, in fact.
Mac sighed as he made his way to the office. That would teach him to poke his nose into matters that didn’t concern him. What had gone on between Tim and Bella was their business and he would be well advised to leave alone.
* * *
Bella worked straight through without even stopping for a break. Although they were busy, she could have taken a few minutes off if she’d wanted to, but she didn’t. Mac’s request to talk to her had unsettled her and she preferred to keep her mind on her patients rather than worry about it. She dealt with her final patient, a ten-year-old boy who had fallen off his bike and broken his arm. Once the X-rays had confirmed her diagnosis, she sent him to the plaster room and cleared up. Helen Robertson, one of the new F1s on the unit, grinned when Bella made her way to the nurses’ station to sign out.
‘Off home to put your feet up, are you? Or are you planning a wild night out?’
&nb
sp; ‘No chance. It’s straight home, supper and bed for me,’ Bella replied with a laugh. ‘My days of tripping the light fantastic are well and truly over!’
‘Oh, listen to her. You’d think she was in her dotage, wouldn’t you?’ Helen looked past Bella and raised her brows. ‘Maybe you can convince her that she can forgo the carpet slippers for a while longer!’
Bella glanced round to see who Helen was talking to and felt her heart lurch when she saw Mac standing behind her. She knew that he was supposed to have gone off duty several hours before and couldn’t understand what he was doing there... Unless he had stayed behind to talk to her? The thought filled her with dread. She didn’t want to talk to him about anything, neither her marriage nor what Tim had and hadn’t done. If she told Mac then she would have to face the possibility that he might not believe her and she couldn’t bear that, couldn’t stand to know that he thought she was lying.
She hurriedly signed her name in the register, adding the time of her departure. Mac was still talking to Helen, laughing at something the young doctor had said, so Bella headed for the door. It hummed open and she was outside, walking as fast as she could towards the car park. She could hear footsteps behind her and knew that Mac was following her but she didn’t slow down. He had no business harassing her this way! She had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t intend to discuss her marriage with him and he should accept that. All of a sudden anger got the better of her and she swung round.
‘Please stop! I don’t want to talk to you, so leave me alone.’
‘Why? What are you so scared about?’ He shrugged. ‘If I were in your shoes, I’d want to tell my side of the story, unless I had something to hide. Do you, Bella?’
‘No.’ She gave a bitter little laugh, unable to hide how hurt she felt at the suggestion. ‘I have nothing to hide but Tim’s told you what happened, and you obviously believe him, so what more is there to say? Why should I try to justify myself to you?’
‘Because I thought we were friends.’ He held out his hands, palms up, in a gesture of supplication that she found incredibly moving for some reason. ‘I can tell that you’re hurting and if there’s anything I can do to make it easier for you then that’s all I want.’
He paused. Bella had a feeling that he wasn’t sure if he should say what was on his mind and she bit her lip because she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear it either. She steeled herself when he continued.
‘I guess what I’m trying to say is that I care about you, Bella. It’s as simple as that.’
CHAPTER THREE
MAC HELD HIS BREATH, hoping against hope that Bella would believe him. It was the truth, after all—he did care. He cared that she was hurting, cared that she had behaved so out of character. The Bella he knew would never have broken her marriage vows unless there had been a very good reason to do so.
‘Maybe you mean what you say, Mac, but it makes no difference.’ Bella’s icy tones sliced through the thoughts whizzing around his head and he flinched.
‘I do mean it,’ he said shortly, annoyed with himself. What possible reason could there be to excuse the way she had treated Tim? Tim had needed her, desperately, and she had failed him. There was no excuse whatsoever for that kind of behaviour, surely? And yet the niggling little doubt refused to go away.
‘Fine.’
She inclined her head but Mac could tell that she didn’t believe him and it stung to know that she doubted his word. Couldn’t she see that he was telling her the truth? Didn’t she know that he wouldn’t lie about something so important? It was on the tip of his tongue to remonstrate with her when it struck him that he was doing the very same thing. He was doubting her, blaming her for the demise of her marriage. What right did he have to take her to task when he was equally guilty?
The thought kept him silent and she obviously took it as a sign that he had given up. She went to her car, zapping the locks and getting in. Mac stayed where he was until the sound of the engine roused him. He had no idea what he was going to do but he had to do something. Maybe Bella was at fault, but he couldn’t just ignore the pain he had seen in her eyes. Flinging open the passenger door, he climbed into her car, holding up his hand when she rounded on him.
‘I know what you’re going to say, Bella. You don’t want to talk about your marriage. I also know that I’m probably poking my nose in where it’s not wanted...’
‘You are,’ she snapped, glaring at him.
‘OK. Fair enough. And I’m sorry. But, leaving all that aside, I meant what I said. I really do care that you’re upset.’ He reached over and squeezed her hand, hurriedly releasing it when he felt the now familiar surge of electricity scorch along his nerves. He didn’t want to scare her, certainly didn’t want her to think that he was trying to take advantage of her vulnerability by making a play for her!
Heat rose under his skin, a hot tide of embarrassment that was so unfamiliar that it would have brought him to his knees if he hadn’t been sitting down. Making a play for Bella had never been on the cards. From the moment they had met, Mac had known that she was beyond his reach and he had been perfectly happy with that state of affairs too. Although he had earned himself a bit of a reputation at university by dating a lot of women, he’d had no intention of settling down. He had been determined not to get involved with anyone, although he had been genuinely pleased when Bella and Tim had started seeing one another. They had been so well suited, their backgrounds so perfectly in tune that he couldn’t have found a better match for either of them.
It had been the same when they had announced their engagement some months later; he had been truly thrilled for them both and absolutely delighted when Tim had asked him to be his best man. It was only at the wedding that he had started to feel a little bit odd. Listening to Bella swearing to love, honour and care for Tim for the rest of her days had, surprisingly, made Mac feel as though he was about to lose something unutterably precious...
He drove the thought from his head. It was too late for it now; far too late to wish that he had said something, done something, stopped the wedding. How could he have jumped up in the middle of the ceremony and declared that he didn’t want Bella to marry Tim because he wanted her for himself? No, he had done the right thing—sat there and played his part to the best of his ability. And if there’d been an ache in his heart, well, he had accepted that he would have to learn to live with it.
That was why he had decided to sign on with Worlds Together, a leading overseas aid agency, after the wedding. He had been on over half a dozen missions to date and although he knew that he had helped a lot of people during that time, he had gained a lot too. He’d had three years to rationalise his feelings, three years to make sure they were safely under wraps. Why, if anyone had asked him a couple of weeks ago how he felt then he would have confidently told them that he was back on track. But not now. Not now that Bella was no longer Tim’s wife. Not now that she was available.
Mac swallowed his groan. Maybe he did want to help Bella but it could turn out that he was creating a lot of problems for himself by doing so.
* * *
Bella had no idea what was going on but the tension in the car was making her feel sick. She licked her parched lips, trying to think of something to say, but what exactly? If she ordered Mac to get out of the car, would he do so? Or would he ignore her and stay where he was? It was the not knowing that was the scariest thing of all because it denoted a massive shift in his attitude.
Mac’s behaviour towards her had always been impeccable in the past. He had treated her with an old-fashioned courtesy that she had found strangely endearing. Few men in the circles she had frequented had been so polite. The old ‘Hooray Henry’ syndrome had been very much alive, so that Mac’s thoughtfulness and maturity had set him apart. That was why she had enjoyed spending time with him, she realised in surprise. He hadn’t needed to shout or tell
risqué stories to make himself stand out. Whenever Mac was around, people always knew he was there.
The thought stunned her. She had never realised before just how much Mac had impressed her. He had been an unknown quantity in so many ways, his background so different from hers that she had been afraid of saying something stupid that would betray her ignorance. Now, after working in the NHS for the past ten years, she had a much better idea of the world. She had treated many people from backgrounds similar to Mac’s and understood the hardships they faced. That Mac must have had to overcome all sorts of obstacles to qualify as a doctor merely highlighted his strength of character, his determination, his commitment. Few men could have taken on such a challenge and won.
Bella’s head whirled as thoughts that she had never entertained before rushed through it. Added to the strain she’d been under since the breakdown of her marriage, it made her feel very shaky. Leaning forward, she rested her throbbing forehead on the steering wheel.
‘Are you all right? Bella, what’s wrong? Answer me!’
The concern in Mac’s voice brought a rush of tears to her eyes. Although her parents had expressed polite sympathy when she had told them about the divorce, they hadn’t really cared about the effect it had had on her. They were too wrapped up in their own lives to put her first. As Mac had just done.
‘It’s just all too much,’ she whispered, unable to lie.
‘No wonder!’ Anger laced his deep voice as he got out of the car. He strode round to her side and flung open the door. ‘When I think what you must have been through recently—’ He broke off as he lifted her out of the car. Bella got the impression that he didn’t trust himself to say anything more as he carried her round to the passenger’s side. He gently deposited her on the seat and snapped the seat belt into place then looked at her. ‘Right, where to? You can go straight home or you can come back to my place. You decide.’
Best Friend to Perfect Bride (Contemporary Medical Romance) Page 3