by Ashlee Price
“Because I think I love him.”
I sighed, “No you don’t. It’s all hormones with you two. You need less of that and more talking and you would see that he is just not the one for you.”
“Just because you are anti-love, doesn’t mean that I have to be. You are going to meet a guy one day that makes you forget all your senses. Just wait and see.”
I didn’t believe her, but neither one of us was in the mood to argue about it. I was hoping for a quick trip so that I could get in the water. We got out and I looked at the mile long list in my hand. Sighing, we got out and started towards the first store.
***
The list was even longer when I was going through the store getting it all. Amber wasn’t going to be much of a help since she was on her phone the whole time. By the end of it, I was exhausted and we were at the quarry. I had dropped the groceries off while she made her way towards the watering hole. There were a few other guys already down there with Mack when I got there. I knew Dale, but I did not know the other guy. Amber introduced us before I got in the water. The cold water made me forget everything else.
“So Shannon, what do you do here?”
“All the stuff that no one else wants to. They won’t let me train, so I pretty much do all the grunt work.”
“That sounds like it sucks.”
I looked over at Amber sucking face with Mack. “Sometimes it does, but it has its perks.”
His eyes were on me, but it was not the great views and the watering hole that I was referring to. Zeik was looking at me and I wondered then how he knew Mack. They probably went to school together, but I couldn’t help seeing the common ground they had as friends. They both seemed to be pervs.
“Amber tells me that you are planning on starting here?”
“Yeah, next week.”
“What are you going to be doing?”
“Learning to train horses. I had never really thought about it before, but the pay is good.”
I nodded and tried to pretend that I was happy for him. The truth was that I had been trying for months to get hired on as an apprentice, but Mr. Fisher didn’t believe in putting women in danger. He was an old time sexist and I had gotten used to it, but it still stung that he would hire someone off the streets before me. He didn’t have any experience. Zeik didn’t even like horses.
I started to swim off but he came in after me and swam beside me. I didn’t want to be rude, but he was not my type and I knew where the conversation was going. Where any conversation went with a man after enough time had passed.
“So are you single?”
There it went, I thought to myself. “Yeah. I’m single.”
“Do you want to go out some time?”
“Maybe once you get settled in. I got to go help with the party though. Nice to meet you, Zeik.”
He didn’t want me to go, but I pulled myself up on the side of the water. “When will I see you again?”
It took everything in my not to roll my eyes. “I’ll be at the party later if you decide to show up.” Telling Amber that I was taking off, I walked away from the friend not paying much attention and the man who was paying far too much attention.
Walking back to the ranch, I had thrown a pair of jean shorts on over my bathing suit, but everything else was in my arms. My clothes had gotten wet somehow on the beach, so it didn’t matter anyways. Running my fingers through my wet black hair, I was paying more attention to my hands, than my feet.
I looked up to see a man just as preoccupied as I was. I moved out of the way, but his bag almost knocked me down. It was one of those green/brown duffel bags that they had in the service. It was because of the bag that I took a better look at his face and realized that it was Amber’s brother Joel.
“Sorry Miss.”
“It’s Shannon. We’ve met before.”
His eyes looked up and we made eye contact. He had the most piercing blue eyes that I had ever seen. He was a lot better looking than when he left and way more muscled than before. Being in the service seemed to have done him some good. He looked fitter than ever, but it was hard to deny the distant look in his eyes as well. Joel looked like he had seen some things that nobody was supposed to see.
“Oh wow, Travis’s daughter?”
I nodded my head. What did he mean by wow? I can’t say that I wasn’t thinking the same thing, but it for a whole other reason. “Yeah. I had just moved here when you were about to leave.”
His eyes darkened and he looked down my body. “Well it looks like you have grown up. How old are you now?”
“Nineteen.”
I don’t know why I was so happy that he asked. Maybe it was because I was finally an adult. He just gave me this nod and started to walk away. It left me looking at him for a minute and then he turned around, catching me staring. “Do you know where Amber is? I wanted to surprise her.”
Of course I did, but there was no way that I was going to send him towards the quarry where his sister was. Not then with Mack there. No one liked Mack and I was sure that if Joel met him, he would come to the same conclusion as everyone else that met him. “I am not sure. Have you checked up at the house?”
“I just came from there.”
“Oh, well I am sure she will turn up once the party starts. Welcome home Joel.”
“Thank you. So is she drinking or something? Is that why you won’t tell me where she is?”
I nodded. “Not really like that, but she will be around in a bit.”
“If I go down to the quarry, what am I going to find?”
He was acting like her dad and I could better understand the comment about him being over protective. “Nothing.”
“Well then come with me.”
He was calling my bluff, but I knew he was going to go anyways. If I was done there, maybe I could stop the two from arguing about what she was doing. I mean she was as old as I was, so it wasn’t like she was a kid or something. “I will if you want, but I was hoping you could help me put up decorations.”
“For my own party?”
“Well it’s not much of a surprise now, is it?”
“I guess not, but I was really hoping to talk to Amber about something.”
“She will be back soon, trust me. She is fine. Now come on and let’s put all those muscles to good use.”
Chapter 2: Shannon
I tried not to gawk as he helped me. His muscles bunched up just to put the streamers up and it was hard not to look. Joel was so big, much bigger than he had been before. He didn’t seem to notice me in the same way as he had before. I did have a shirt on now, but I got nothing from him. When I would try to get close, he would dodge any touch. Frustrated, I tried to ignore him as well, but with him stretched and his muscles bunched, it was hard not to get a little riled up.
“So are you home for good Joel?”
He looked back at me, those blue eyes bright. “I don’t know. Dad wants me to take over the ranch, so I have that to deal with. I have thought about hiring some managers.”
“Don’t you like working here?”
Joel shrugged and it was clear that he didn’t. It was the reason he had went into the military. He wanted out of there and the service was his way. Now that he was back, I wondered how the ranch would run. It was not for the faint of heart. There was a constant stream of work to be done and someone had to make sure that it all got done. I had heard how good he was at training, so I guess I had assumed that he would like it as much as I did, but I guess not. Why was it that everyone that didn’t want to train could make it and I couldn’t?
“Can you honestly tell me that you like working here?”
I nodded. I was not ashamed to love it at the ranch. How could I not? “Of course. That’s why I am here. If I didn’t like it or hope to be a trainer one day, I wouldn’t still be here. I could have went to college, but I would much rather work with the horses than be stuck in an office somewhere.”
Joel looked down at me for a minute. “I actual
ly believe you.”
“Why are you so surprised?”
“Because people very rarely say what they actually mean.”
“Well I don’t see a point in saying anything if I don’t mean it. Seems like a waste of time.”
“I couldn’t agree more. Though you didn’t mean what you said earlier.”
I had lied, or omitted. It was technical, but I hadn’t felt good about it after doing it. I didn’t want to lie to him, but my loyalty was to my friend. “Yes well, your sister is my best friend so it would have been pretty crummy of me to rat her out. Don’t you think? Hoo-rah and all of that.”
“That’s the Army. I am a Marine.”
“Well whatever you are, they have certainly made a man out of you.”
I looked away, not believing that I had just said that. I was missing my filter or more specifically my brain in general with him around. He wasn’t even flirting with me. It was just having him in such a close proximity.
“You think so huh?”
Nodding without looking at him. “I am sure you will have no lack of admirers here.”
Joel didn’t answer and I thought he had walked off. Turning back towards him after I hung up the last of the streamers, he was still standing there. “So nineteen, huh?”
I giggled a little. “Yep all grown up. How old are you now?”
“Twenty-four.”
I could have cared less how old he was. I just wanted to keep talking to him. He was so quiet for so long and then back to talking. Something was different about Joel. It was like he was battling his own demons, but none of that mattered when I looked into his haunted eyes. “So why are you so worried about how old I am Joel?”
He shrugged. “Just curious. You seem too young.”
“Too young for what?”
Joel didn’t answer me. He just smiled in such a way. I waited for him to answer and it looked like he was about to say something before I heard Amber behind me. I wanted to turn around and tell her to piss off but of course I couldn’t. She didn’t have Mack with her, so at least I wouldn’t have to be there for that. I was sure that Joel would dislike him as much as the rest of us did. I didn’t know if it would be best to hope for a fight. Then maybe Amber would see what a jerk he was.
It was almost poetic that they walked up about the same time that I started musing. I could tell they had just had sex Amber had that glow to her. She was a bit shocked that Joel was already home and her face faltered. But she was quick to recover and moved to give her big brother a hug. I saw Mack standing off by the house fence.
“Big brother you have gotten bigger. What have they been feeding you there?”
He chuckled and I loved the way it sounded. “A lot better than mom can cook, but don’t tell her I said that.”
Amber told him that she wouldn’t and she smiled up at him. She was happy to see him whether she wanted to admit it or not. I had known her to long for her to convince me of otherwise. Amber was always a bit complicated.
I left the two to talk and catch up. I had told Maddie that I would help her with the cooking. Their mom wasn’t as bad of a cook as they made her out to be and she was getting better. Maddie had become like a mother to me and we had been cooking together for quite a time. I had learned a while ago, having to cook for dad, so in a way I was teaching her. She had always had a cook or someone else to do it, so she just never learned. Maddie was getting better and Joel might be surprised of the changes. Surely the military wasn’t coming up with better food than her. I had heard about his appetite.
“Thank goodness you are here Shannon. I don’t remember what I was supposed to do with the steaks. The grill is ready and they are still out.”
“That’s good. They need to be closer to room temperature. Just put some salt on them and they will be ready in ten minutes to put out there. Why are you so worried?”
Maddie was worried about Joel being there. Amber was right in that they felt he was the golden child, but I felt like there was more to it. Families were always filled with secrets and the Fishers were no different. It was like a mystery I was dying to unravel and I knew Joel was one of the missing pieces.
“You know how I get. And I just want everything to be perfect for when he gets here.”
I didn’t know how she didn’t know, but I wasn’t going to be the one to tell her that he was out there helping with the party, instead of coming in to say hello to his mother. I was starting to wonder if I wanted to be there when the other piece strolled in. The Fishers were like family to me in some ways, but I was thankful to be out of the darker side of it.
“It will be fine. He hasn’t been home in years, so just seeing you Maddie will be enough. I am sure he will be here soon and then everything will be okay.”
“I hope so. I keep having this fear that he is going to call and decide to stay in the service. The two Fisher men have a hard time communicating, so I just hope that he didn’t say something when he talked to him last week. Ray has a tendency to be too harsh with Joel. He has been treating him like a man since he was five. It’s a lot of pressure and I know that is why Joel left in the first place.”
I tried to tell her it would be okay. I took over in the kitchen. It was part of the reason Maddie had such a hard time cooking is she was so distracted all the time. I had seen her once burn chicken by boiling all of the water out. I don’t even remember what she was trying to make, but I found that an almost impossible feat to manage.
“Why don’t you go and get ready Maddie? Take a few minutes to calm down and get to feeling better.” She needed to relax, but it was hard for her and I knew that. So, I didn’t really give her much of a choice. I just told her to go. After a minute she nodded, knowing that what she was doing was not going to make anything better. Maddie was a worrier.
About the time she was going upstairs, I was taking the raw steaks to the grill to be cooked. Dante and a few of his friends were there on grill detail and before long I could hear the sizzle as I went back into the kitchen. People were starting to arrive, so I needed to start getting some of the trays out. Amber was back in from talking with Joel and he was a few feet behind her coming in. “Go upstairs and say hello to your mother Joel.”
He looked at me strangely, but I didn’t let it bother me. “She is worried sick that you aren’t coming, so go. I can’t believe you haven’t went and seen her yet.”
Joel’s eyes questioned me for a minute, but then he did as I asked. Amber kind of smiled before I handed her a tray to take out there. “You are scary when you start taking things over, you know that right?”
I did, but it was the only way to get things done sometimes. While everyone else was worrying and upset, someone had to make sure that the food got down and Maddie’s feelings didn’t get hurt.
Chapter 3: Joel
I looked back at her once more and she had already dismissed me to do something else. There was no guile in the way she looked at me from before, Shannon was all business. I found it almost laughable that so many men were afraid of me and then this woman talks to me in such a way without a second notice. It was clear that she did not feel the same sentiment towards me as others. My time in the service meant nothing to her and I liked that.
The fact that she had told me to go see my mother was also a surprise. Our family was one of the types that didn’t show affection very often. Even my mother found it hard and I wondered why she had said something. Who was this woman in my mother’s kitchen, ordering me to go see her? I thought Shannon was Amber’s friend, but now I was starting to see that she had more than just Amber under her wing.
More surprising than anything else though, I listened to her. I did need to go see mom and I found myself climbing the stairs in the direction I was pointed in. It was as close to an order as I had gotten since I was discharged a few weeks before. Shannon was good at it and I didn’t mind it all that much. I don’t know what that said about me, but she was starting to make a bigger impression on me the more I got to know about
her.
Knocking on my parent’s door, I heard my mom call out to come in. As soon as I seen her, I knew that it was the right call to come up there. She started to cry, a woman always full of emotions and though it embarrassed me slightly, I knew it was better done up there away from everyone else.
“Son, you are home! I was starting to wonder if I would ever see you again.”
I hugged her or tried not to let her suffocate me. Soldiers that I worked with didn’t have the strength she exhibited. “Yes, I told you I would be home today. What is going on here? Looks like a party.”
“Well it was supposed to be a surprise, but it looks like you already know. Food will be done soon. I haven’t forgotten your appetite.”
I pulled back finally as she kissed my cheek. “I have to admit, it smells good in the kitchen. Did you get a new cook?”
“No, that is all Shannon. She has been helping me cook for a while now. I haven’t had a cook since a few months after she got here. That girl is a whiz in the kitchen. Have you two met yet?”
There was a twinkle in her eyes that I didn’t know what to think of. It was obvious she had something in her mind to say, but she didn’t. Like everyone else in the family, Maddie liked her secrets.
“Yeah I met her when I first came in. She is Travis’ daughter, right?”
“Yes. She works here too now. Shannon almost went off to college, but I convinced her to stay. Your father wouldn’t let her train horses, but she stayed around anyways. She lights up like you used to when you would ride.”
I didn’t know what to say to all of the information she was throwing at me. Was my mother trying to set me up with her? It sounded like it. “I am sure she is great, she seemed nice. So how have you been? You look good.”
“Well I feel great. Once your father retires, we are planning on taking a trip for a few months, do some traveling. I can’t wait and I know you are going to do great.”
I nodded and helped her out of the bedroom. She was asking question a mile a minute all the way downstairs and I tried my best to answer her. Maddie had changed in some way, she seemed happier and I was glad to see her smiling so much. I wondered what had made all these changes in the home. There was a new life there and I couldn’t help but notice Shannon on my way back downstairs. I had a feeling she had something to do with all of the changes going on.