“Are you always so full of hate?” Jill’s voice came out soft but full of impact.
Gina moved toward Jill, then thought better of it when Chet blocked her path.
“Go home to your husband, Gina. Learn to be a wife.” Chet glanced at Jill. Her chin trembled and she tilted her head toward the floor. Under normal circumstances, she would never sit by and accept Gina’s words without a few choice retorts of her own. But she didn’t have the strength.
Gina’s laughter clawed across his back. How had he ever found her beautiful? He wanted nothing more than to get her away from Jill.
“That marriage is dead and buried, Chet. I thought I’d give you another try, but since Jill is going to bog you down with a kid, you’re out of the running.”
The mention of his possible child softened his heart. He’d hardened himself against the idea of marriage, but never considered the possibility of a child. Not after Gina. Protectiveness swept through him. Not just for his child, but for the woman carrying it. “Not a chance, Gina. On your way home, why don’t you stop and get some help.”
“Whatever. I’m off to calmer waters. I just wanted to make sure you knew how Jill tricked you. How you’d pay for the rest of your life.”
Although Jill remained quiet throughout their exchange, her body jerked at Gina’s words. She pushed away and flung herself into the restroom. The lock sounded and he heard her heave.
“Domestic bliss. Enjoy it, Chet.” Gina’s voice echoed across the high ceiling of the foyer. She adjusted her purse strap and flicked him a dismissive glance before she walked out the door.
“Good riddance,” Chet muttered. Soft sobs from the other side of the bathroom door hammered his chest, sucking the oxygen from the room.
If she were pregnant, which seemed likely, both of them would accept their responsibility and make the best of this. They might not be in love, but that was no reason they couldn’t come to some type of arrangement.
…
“I think I know my own body, Chet.” Jill shifted positions in the formal wood chair. After Barracuda left and Jill finished in the restroom, they’d drifted into the paneled dining room to talk. “Let’s not make this bigger than it needs to be right now. I mean…I’m not even a week late.”
“You have to admit it’s a possibility. Neither of us bothered with protection.” He shoved his fingers through his hair, and Jill’s heart shattered. All this upset and stress because of an unconfirmed pregnancy.
If only she’d been able to talk to him first. Or gotten off her duff and taken a test so she at least had the backing of facts. Gina’s big mouth should be condemned. Jill reached across the dining table with the intention of covering his hand with hers, but the hard set of his mouth deterred her.
She took a deep breath. “We don’t know anything for certain.”
“Are you telling me pregnancy never crossed your mind?”
“Well…no. It did, but there are other factors, too. My life’s been a mess. It’s probably just everything coming to a head, stressing me out, making me sick.” She held her palm to her forehead. Cold, clammy skin met her fingertips. “I haven’t taken a test, or seen a doctor.”
“I can’t believe things got so carried away.” His shaky fingers brushed across his head. “I’m never so careless.”
“We were both careless. Things…well, things happened,” she said, amazed at how calm she sounded when panic consumed her.
“I wanted you from that first night, but after discovering all you’d been through I tossed that idea out the window. I had no intention of taking what we started any further.” He jerked his head to meet her gaze. “And now this. I’m not interested in anything long term.”
“And you think I am?”
“I know you are.” He rubbed the side of his neck.
“Not like this.”
“Why didn’t you come to me with your suspicions?”
“That was the plan when the doorbell rang.” She sighed.
A tense line skated across his brow. “Why tonight? Why not right away?”
“We weren’t exactly on friendly terms… You have to admit our relationship has been a series of ups and downs. First we’re set up and you think I have ulterior motives, then I come to work for you and neither of us can deny our attraction—Chet, we’re a mess.” Her attempt at humor flopped. “But tonight I couldn’t take the tension between us any longer. We needed to talk about this, and the day on the boat.”
Chet stood and shoved his chair back under the table. He gripped the backrest until his knuckles turned white. “The boat. Damn it, Jill. Mel only confirmed the need to keep my distance. I’ve never wanted anything long term and I never will. And you want it all—something I can’t give.”
“None of this is news to me, Chet. I’ve never asked you for anything more. We don’t want the same things and I know that. But it’s no reason we can’t be friends.” Her gut clenched at the word “friends.” Could they be just friends when their obvious attraction shot past the moon?
He nodded, loosening his stranglehold on the chair to tap his fingers along the wood instead.
“Either way, we’re jumping the gun.” She tried to ease the awkwardness of their silence with a laugh, but only succeeded in mimicking a frog with hiccups.
“If you’re pregnant, we’ll get married.” Tight-lipped, he stared her down. “A child needs a stable environment. I refuse to shuffle any child of mine between homes.”
“No! You need to stop!” Jill sat tall. “I’ve barely wrapped my head around all the events of the last couple of days. I don’t need you adding marriage to the pile.”
Chet’s stiff expression and rigid stance shook her to the core. Dread filled her at the trapped look in his eyes. “If you’re preg—”
“If I’m pregnant, I won’t have my life turned upside down any more than it already will be.”
“Too late.”
“This is no reason to break glass, buy the cow, or jump the broom. Not in this day and age. We don’t need to be married to share responsibilities.” How could he suggest marriage? From the expression locked on his face that shouldn’t be an option. And if it was, it’d be the last one. A baby shouldn’t change that.
And she refused to be forced into a loveless marriage. No matter how well they got along as friends, marriage should include love front and center. If you didn’t have that, any union would be doomed.
“Think of the baby, Jill.”
“I am. I grew up in a home where my mother and father ‘did the right thing’ for the sake of their child. Me. And I can tell you firsthand it was no picnic listening to their fights about who ruined whose life more.”
“That’s them. We won’t be like that.” Chet pressed his palms into the table as he leaned in.
“Really? Let me give you the breakdown. Forced marriage, resentment, the cold shoulder followed by vicious fights and nasty accusations. Then the fun starts, each parent sharing their woes with their child, until the poor kid can’t help but wonder if her parents would’ve been happier if she’d never been born.” Her lungs seized and she fought to ease the burn with a breath of air. “I wouldn’t wish that type of life for any child. I won’t do it to mine.”
The room stilled. Chet swallowed hard and pulled back, crossing his arms over his chest.
Jill’s chest ached as she rose to her feet. “We’re getting heated over something we don’t even know exists. Let’s do this smart. I need to take a pregnancy test.”
His face pinched and his coloring grayed. Jill swallowed at the sudden change.
“Oh, I’ve no doubt you’re already playing this smart,” he said in a deadpan voice.
Jill’s tummy shifted. “What do you mean by that?”
“Do I need to spell it out, Jill?”
“Apparently.”
“Gina might have a point here. You could’ve tricked me. Seduced me in the pool to have a revolving credit line for your business.”
The temperature
of her body rose to an all-time high. “W-wh—?”
“If you’re pregnant, I’ll accept responsibility. We’ll do the right thing and get married for the sake of our child, but I’ll never forgive you for tricking me.”
“Tricking you?” Anger fueled her movements until she stood before him, toe to toe. Where had this about-face come from? “You’re as crazy as your ex. As for marriage, it wasn’t my suggestion, but yours. Yours!”
“Don’t blame me for you getting pregnant.”
“I didn’t do it alone.”
“Everything makes sense now, looking back.” One brow slanted at a harrowing angle. “You were the one who initiated what happened in the pool.”
“Well, you certainly didn’t object. It takes two, as the saying goes.” Her fingers itched with the desire to slap him, or grab him by the shirt and shake him until he came to his senses.
“But it only takes one to come up with a plan.”
“Are you serious? Think about it, Chet. Who was the one at a loss? Who was upset and embarrassed? It certainly wasn’t you. You didn’t sleep with your boss.”
“Maybe you’re an actress as well as chef.”
“You’d be the one to figure it out, smart guy. Why don’t you punch in the number to the security team at your disposal? You’re the one who does background checks on any woman you might be interested in enough to date. Or should I say bed?”
“Like I said, Gina may have pegged you from day one. Sleep with me and assure your future. Quite a meal ticket.”
“I’d rather starve.” She stepped back, the cement lining her stomach crumbled. Did he actually believe his own words? “Are you still living in the past and letting that woman control you?”
“She doesn’t control me.” Each word rolled off his tongue with a boom.
“You could’ve fooled me. Your inability to trust anyone is all because Gina’s in control. I’m sad, Chet. I’m sad that you can’t trust me.”
“I can’t trust anyone.”
“I see that.” She took a gulp of air. Pain filled her chest and her head throbbed. “If I am pregnant, you don’t think a baby will affect my dreams, ambitions?”
“You’re the one who wants a family. Hell, you want it all. This is part of all.”
“I do, but not like this. The timing has to be right, and so does the man.”
Chet’s jaw tightened.
Before she’d met Chet, her life had been at an all-time low. Out of work, barely able to pay her bills, and refused for every bank loan she’d applied for. But none of those things compared to this.
“You act like I had some big scheme to get Chet Castle’s money. The only plan I had for my future—my future—was running a catering business.” Jill jammed her hands into the pockets of her capris to hide their shakiness. “If I’m pregnant, everything will change.”
“For both of us.”
“More so for me. I wanted to be up and running, successful enough to hire staff. Then, if I ever married and had children—” She choked back a sob. “Well, hopefully I’d have a great staff and would be able to cut back on hours and raise my family myself.”
His face remained emotionless. “You’re very convincing, Jill.”
He still doubted her. After all their talks over the last several weeks, she’d felt they’d shared a strong bond, an understanding. They’d grown to know each other. They might have had their moments of doubt or uncertainty, but she thought they’d become friends. Wrong. “How can I raise a child and still fulfill my dream? I can’t.”
“Please. It’s not like I can’t afford a nanny. My money would supply everything you need, and a lot quicker than going it alone.”
“You are crazier than Gina. If and when I have a child, I don’t want a nanny. And I don’t want your help.”
Bitterness filled Chet’s stare. How could she make him see the truth? Jill’s stomach rolled with a deep, overwhelming sense of loss. “You act like you’re the last man on earth.”
“Sometimes when you look at me, I feel like it.”
Good to know she sucked at hiding her emotions.
She needed to get away. Escape to the privacy of her room to absorb their conversation and try to make sense of it all. She brushed past him. When she cleared the arch, she stopped and spun in his direction, squaring her shoulders.
“Just because I want to have it all, doesn’t mean I want to have it all with you!”
Chapter Seventeen
Chet’s stomach contracted as if Jill had punched him with a brick fist. He couldn’t move, even minutes after she walked from view.
He inhaled, his regret over their fight mingling with her lingering rainwater scent. Zombielike, he sat in the nearest dining chair. His elbows hit the table’s surface and he dropped his face between open palms, scrunching his fingertips into his hair so hard pain shot across the crown of his head.
He’d accused Jill of so many things. Most of what he’d said, he hadn’t meant. All his pent-up emotions had built until they exploded, and he had taken out all the lies and mistrust between him and Gina on Jill.
At the idea of marriage, his brain froze, along with his ability to think. And he’d been the one to bring it up. Why?
Life with Jill wouldn’t be so bad. They got along. Attraction between them ran high—maybe more so for him. They laughed together, talked easily, and he enjoyed her company. Plenty of others had based marriages on less. This could work. Friendship would be a great basis.
Damn it, if he were honest, he’d been dreading her leaving at the end of their agreement. He’d almost—almost—become dependent on having her smiling face greet him when he returned home from work each night.
All of his jumbled thoughts didn’t stop him from hating himself for how he had treated her. None of this had been her fault. He knew she wasn’t conniving. Blame lay at both their feet for not being responsible enough to use protection. Hell, pregnancy wasn’t even a fact yet. But he just couldn’t get it out of his mind.
Chet dragged himself to his office. He kept the bar stocked for clients and guests more than for himself, but tonight he needed to dull his senses and a stiff one would do the trick.
If his child grew inside Jill, whatever issues simmered between them would be cast aside in order to make this work. No matter what, he’d do the right thing. Even if he had to give up his bachelor status.
…
Jill rolled to her side, lifted herself on one elbow, and punched her pillow for what seemed like the millionth time. The ache in her neck pulsed. Her fluffy down pillow had turned into a lumpy bag of rocks.
“Ooohhhhh.” She flung it to the floor. Sleep had been impossible. The red glow of her bedside clock illuminated the time, filling the room with its muted light. Less than an hour remained before her alarm would blare. She might as well accept the inevitable and get up. If she’d been smart, she’d have climbed out of bed three hours ago and avoided all the tossing and turning.
Once showered and dressed, she sank onto her bed, fingers gripping her knees. Her energy zapped, she had no desire to leave her room. And even less desire to run into Chet.
She feared if they came in contact this morning, their conversation would continue from where it ended last night. And she didn’t have anything left inside to fight with. His accusations and words hurt. He’d never asked for any of this, but neither had she.
The look on his face when he mentioned marriage had almost choked her. She didn’t want him to offer marriage based on an obligation. Though not an ideal situation, she would go it alone before suffering through a loveless union. She didn’t want a rerun of her parents’ lives.
Jill almost wanted to laugh. Almost. Who would’ve thought when Mel approached her about a blind date that all these weeks later she’d have moved to a mansion, slept with her boss, and had pregnancy looming over her head?
She rocked back and forth, the gesture comforting. Hell, all of this hysteria was based on some assumption. Until Jill’s pregnancy was
confirmed, they needed to get a grip.
Jill glanced at the clock, unable to stall any longer. Time to face Chet. Eventually they’d run into each other. Although the idea of leaving tempted her, she wouldn’t renege on their deal. She refused to run from trouble, plus she had her business to think of. Some issues were easier to ignore and put off, like delaying her pregnancy test, but hiding from an agreement and a dream wasn’t.
Down in the kitchen, she cracked several eggs into a large ceramic bowl, taking out her frustrations on the innocent yolks with her wire whisk.
“You’re up and at it early.”
Jill spun around, the whisk in her hand dripping egg onto the floor. “Couldn’t sleep. You’re up earlier than the norm, too.” She smiled. Relief washed over her when he returned one of his own. Not quite their special smile, but it was a start.
“I didn’t like how we left things last night.”
“Me, either. Words were starting to get out of hand.” She plopped the whisk on the counter and bent to wipe the mess. As she stood, she met his steady gaze.
“So it was good you walked away.” Chet moved closer.
She breathed in his cologne, her favorite one. Wood chips and nature mixed with Chet. Like her, he varied scents, choosing one that fit his mood. Her center tingled, deep down to her bones. At times they were so similar. And at others…
“Hungry? I planned to make your favorite and—”
“I think we need to clear the air first, Jill. Don’t you?”
“We seem to be doing that a lot lately.”
His firm hands spanned her shoulders before he crooked one thumb to lift her chin. She avoided his eyes and focused on his mouth. After his comment last night, about the way she looked at him, she needed to be more careful.
“You trust me, don’t you?”
“Um…yes.” His question surprised her. Not the one she expected.
“Good.” His hands slid along her shoulders until his fingers massaged the sensitive skin at the base of her neck. Calm waves washed over her, and her breaths grew shallow. Trancelike, she lifted her head until they stared into each other’s eyes.
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