He’d been such an ass. He prided himself on his ability to learn quickly and sum up any situation, but he failed on the most important one in his life so far. If he’d figured this out sooner, he’d have saved Jill and himself from so much turmoil and heartache.
He loved her. He loved her before he knew he loved her—if that made any type of sense.
Chet stood, scrubbing his hands through his hair. Bright sunlight filled the room from the windows across his office and warmed his skin.
Whether Jill was pregnant or not, it didn’t matter. After last night, he wanted her in his life, a permanent resident of his heart and his home.
He walked to the bank of windows overlooking the pond with the abstract fountain outside the front lobby of Castle Engineering. What he’d shared with Gina six years ago had been child’s play and nothing more than infatuation. Jill and he shared something rare, special, and unique. She’d become his friend, lover, companion, possible mother of—hopefully, future mother of—all his children.
Chet eyed the grandfather clock across the room as it struck the hour. He should’ve told Jill how he felt this morning, but fear—hell, lack of confidence—held his tongue hostage.
Tonight things would change.
For the first time, an antsy excitement built inside him that would be hard to contain. If he could focus and hold an intelligent conversation the rest of the day, it’d be a miracle. Strange how coming to terms with feelings and accepting emotions blocked off for so long freed you. A weight lifted. The day would drag because he wanted nothing more than to go home. To Jill. Unfortunately for him, the late-afternoon meeting couldn’t be rescheduled, and he couldn’t just up and leave.
…
Jill gripped her cell, pressing the phone to her ear in order to hear her mother’s words over her own sobs.
“Honey, you need to calm down. Quit crying.”
Jill gasped for air with large gulps. Deep sobs filled her aching chest. “I’m…I’m…sorry. Oh, Mom. My life is…is a…mess.”
“I’m not sure what you’re telling me. Are you upset because you are pregnant or you aren’t?”
Jill’s strangled laugh eased the bunched muscles in her neck. From her mother’s hesitant tone, Jill knew she’d confused her. After all of these years of hanging out with Mel, she’d finally lost her ability to talk cohesively. “I came upstairs to pack. I can’t stay with Chet if he doesn’t love me. Even though I want to, I’ll be miserable eventually.”
“I’m sorry, honey.”
“But when I used the bathroom, I started…started…my…” Jill’s tears flowed again. She didn’t try to stop them. Through the phone line, her mom offered soothing words. Let it all out, take your time, it will be okay. And deep down Jill knew she was right. She always was.
How lucky to have such an understanding and supportive mother. She missed having her near now more than ever.
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
“No, don’t be. I’m here for you. You were probably right about all of this, Jill. All of your stress over the last few months messed with your cycle.”
Jill sank onto the edge of her bed. With numb fingers, she twisted several hairs coming loose from her ponytail. “My decision to leave is the right one. I want to be gone before Chet gets home. I can’t face him.”
“You should talk to him first. It’s only fair to let him know what’s going on.”
“No…yes…no. Damn it, Mom. I don’t know anymore.” Jill rubbed the back of her neck until her skin grew raw. “This has been the worst year. I don’t know what I’m doing, where I’m going. My life is a shambles.” She sighed, then took a shaky breath, her stomach rippling with the effort.
“You’ve had a rough time. But that’s no excuse to leave Chet in the dark over all of this. That’s not how I raised you. We’ve always faced things head on.”
“I know. And under different circumstances, I would. But I…I just can’t.” It was bad enough her non-pregnancy had been confirmed. But to have to tell the man she loved face to face? A shiver of dread clung to her spine. “I’m afraid of the relief I’ll see on his face. It’ll kill me.”
“You’re making assumptions.”
“He’s off the hook. He’ll be happy. No assumption.” Jill ground the words out.
“You have to tell him, Jill.” Her mother’s voice reprimanded her from over six hundred miles. Scary how her mother’s stern voice could still make her sit up straight and square her shoulders at her age.
“I will. I’ve already written a note.”
“Oh, Jill. A note?” Disappointment filled her mother’s words.
“Mom. Don’t. I need to do this my own way. Get my life in order, decide my next step.”
“What about plans for your business? Are you going to take Mel up on her offer?”
“I’m not ready.” Jill blew out a stream of air. From the other end of the phone she heard her mom sigh. “The excitement I had for owning my own business is gone. I’m drained.”
“You need time, honey. Why don’t you pack up your things and come stay with Ed and me? We’d love to have you.”
“But—”
“Jill, it’ll give your heart time to heal, let you come up with a plan. Figure out your next move.”
“I’m broke. And I don’t think my car will make the trip.”
“Leave your car with Mel for now. I’ll wire you the money for a plane ticket. Once here, you can relax and adjust, then look for work when you’re ready. There are lots of restaurants in the area. You won’t have any trouble.”
“Thanks, Mom. I love you.”
…
Hours later Chet pulled up his drive and parked. He grabbed the flowers and a small assortment of pink and purple balloons from the backseat. He cleared his throat, excitement building as he checked one final time for the ring box buried in his jacket pocket. With each step toward the door, his smile widened.
He walked into the kitchen and an ominous oppression drowned him from head to toe. Instead of the wonderful scents of Jill’s cooking, change filled the air with a pungent stench.
Chet glanced around the room. Where was Jill? She always greeted him in the kitchen. Cooking and smiling, her husky chatter the highlight of his day. Something he looked forward to without realizing it. Until now.
“Jill?”
No answer, except for the light breeze rustling the wooden shutter unlatched over the kitchen sink. Off to the right, propped against the coffee pot, a square white envelope jumped out at him. His name spelled out in Jill’s girly, cursive writing.
Chet’s heart settled into an erratic pounding. Never a weak man, his legs numbed and his mouth dried.
He slid his thumb along the sealed seam, his hands shaking. The first time he read it, he didn’t absorb the meaning of the words.
Chet swallowed hard, slumped against the counter, and started over. This time the words penetrated.
Jill had left. She wasn’t pregnant. She hoped he understood why she couldn’t finish out their agreement. Things had become too personal.
He squeezed his eyes closed. When he opened them again, he reread the letter several more times. Until the light in the sky faded.
Almost comical how things changed. So sure last night when he’d thought things through. Confident in the fact Jill’s feelings for him went deep. Maybe not love, not yet, not like him, but something more than friendship.
Hell, Jill was a “for keeps” girl, he felt it in his gut. She wouldn’t have kissed him the way she had, made love to him like she had—if she didn’t feel something more.
“Damn idiot.” Chet thrust his fingers through his hair, digging into his scalp. He shouldn’t have waited. Fear of her rejection and his own insecurities wouldn’t let him voice his feelings earlier that morning when they’d retaken the pregnancy test.
“Idiot.” Regret filled him. If he’d told her, maybe things would be different. Maybe Jill would still be here.
Chapter Twenty
“Damn it, Mel. Tell me where she went. Tell me how I can contact her.” Chet stormed through Jared’s front door—now Jared and Mel’s front door.
Jill had left more than two weeks ago. He’d been unable to find any trace of her. He called her number and left numerous messages. To the point he came off like an obsessed stalker. His last attempt, less than an hour ago, failed, too. Jill’s number had been disconnected.
Mel. His last hope. She and Jill were best friends, and she knew where Jill had gone. He’d tried several times to get her to break her confidence, but a new determination filled him today. He wouldn’t leave until she gave him the answers he wanted.
Two weeks had turned him into a desperate man.
Mel glared at him as she stood beside his brother. Her shoulders snapped back and her eyes narrowed into that look he’d become so familiar with over the last fourteen days.
“No. It’s no wonder she didn’t return your calls if you barked at her like this. Jeez. Must be the Castle charm gene skipped you.”
“I’m not in the mood for your humor.” Though, now that he thought about it, he probably had barked when he’d left messages on Jill’s phone. But only out of desperation and frustration. He needed to speak to her. See her.
“And I’m not in the mood for your threats. My friend’s hurt. Because of you and—”
“Do you know where she is?” His heart dented his ribs.
Mel turned away, a cascade of red hair blocked most of her face, but not before Chet witnessed the look she gave Jared. A look that spoke of a secret.
“Damn it, bro. You know, too.” How had his own brother watched him fall apart without confessing he knew? Of course. He loved Mel and wouldn’t break their bond.
“Don’t get me involved in this. Not fair.” Jared crossed his arms over his chest.
Chet struggled for calm against his quickened pulse. “Mel. I’m begging you. Please tell me where she is.” Chet dug his fingers through his hair. With the amount of times he’d done that the last couple weeks, he should have a bald spot by now.
“I…I can’t, Chet.”
The waver in Mel’s voice gave him a pinch of hope. “Why won’t you help me?”
“I made a promise, and I’m not breaking it.”
“Bro, tell her why you want to know where Jill is. It might sway her.” Jared delivered an arrogant grin at Chet, but when Mel glared at him, his eyes went puppy dog. “Babe, give him a chance. You won’t believe it coming from me. But now that you can see his face, when he tells you, it might change your mind.”
Mel’s blue eyes penetrated through Chet with spear-like precision. She rested her weight on one foot, tapping the other in a heavy rhythm. “Go ahead, Chet. Sway me.”
He actually gulped. Mel Butler could be intimidating if she put her mind to it. No wonder Jared had fallen for her. Like Jill, Mel held several facets.
“I want to find her.”
“So you can torture her and make her miserable?”
“No, never. Mel, I love her. I was an idiot for not telling her as soon as I realized it, but I wanted it to be special. I didn’t want to reveal my feelings over an undetermined pregnancy test. She’d think I was saying it just because of the baby.” Chet laid it out in the open. He didn’t care if he came off looking like a love-starved teenager in the midst of his first crush.
Mel’s shoulders sagged and one slender arm shot out to grab Jared’s forearm. Her fingertips turned white. She must be giving his brother one hell of a squeeze.
“You love her?” Not only had her expression softened, but her voice turned to silk.
“Like no man has ever loved a woman.”
“Hey, don’t go starting trouble at my door, bro.” Jared chuckled, and Mel gave him a tender smile.
“You have no worries, babe. I’m confident in our love.” She looked back at Chet, the tenderness changing to sadness. Mel plopped her denim-clad bottom on the oak bench along the narrow foyer wall. “I knew it from the beginning. I knew you two were perfect for each other. Too bad you took such a bumpy road to realize it.”
Her throat bobbed several times and she looked at her shoes, apparently unable to meet the desperation etched in his face. Her tiny fingers slid a diamond pendant back and forth on the chain against her throat.
“You’re going to have to give me a few more details.” She smiled at him, her eyes bright. “Show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”
Mel had a way with putting people at ease. Chet sat beside her, and as they talked Jared wandered from the room. When they finished sharing secrets, Chet’s tensions eased. Mel gave him hope.
“Will you give me her number? Tell me where she is?”
“I can’t tell you, Chet. Not without talking to Jill.”
“Then talk to her.”
“I will, but not when you’re breathing over my shoulder.”
…
“Mel, are you freaking crazy? I can’t fly back up there now. I start a new job in less than a week.” Jill hadn’t waited to look for work. A busy mind wouldn’t dwell on the ache in her heart. After two interviews, she’d found a job at a small Italian restaurant located on the beach.
“Please. Please, Jill. I need you,” Mel sobbed.
Jill slumped into the chair at the kitchen table in the sunny condo owned by her mother and Ed. Home alone, she’d been enjoying an afternoon on the patio until Mel rang.
“Just tell me now. We’ll work it out over the phone.”
“No, I need you here. This is big, Jill. I can’t…can’t…talk about this now. Not over the phone.” Her sobs grew and Jill’s stomach squeezed. “Have some compassion. Come home, Jill. He left me.”
“What happened? You said you set a date. Everything’s going great.”
“It is…was…is… Oh, I don’t know anymore. Pleeeease. I’ll cover the plane fare. I just need you here.”
Between sobs Jill swore she heard the faint scrapings of Mel’s signature nail file. No way. If she were as upset as she sounded…
“I need a Jill hug.”
Jill squirmed in her seat. Neither of them had used the Jill hug or Mel hug in well over a decade. Words spoken when one or the other had a horrible day and needed reinforcement from their friend.
“Mel, you’re killing me…”
The scraping sound stopped. Maybe it’d never been there to begin with.
“Does that mean you’ll come?”
Breath stalled, Jill pressed the phone closer to her ear to listen. Their connection wasn’t great, but Mel’s sorrowful voice and sobs dried up a bit too quick. Her friend’s flair for the dramatic caused Jill doubt that her situation was as serious as she made out.
“Are you still living at Jared’s?”
“Yes, he…that’s one of the things I need your help with.”
“With packing?”
“Yes. Yes, packing.”
“Have you seen Chet?”
“Why would you ask me that?” Mel squeaked.
“Because if I come, I don’t want to take the chance of running into him.”
“No worries there. Now that Jared and I…well, now that…just don’t worry about it.”
“You sound more annoyed than upset.”
“No. No, Jill. I’m more upset than ever.” Her voice shook and sobs resumed.
“I’m sorry, Mel. I shouldn’t doubt you.” Jill wanted to be there for her best friend, but any chance of seeing Chet, even if doubtful, unnerved her. She feared he’d be able to read her feelings all too easily.
“You’ll come?”
“Yes. Yes, I’ll be there.”
“Thanks. You won’t regret it.”
Jill ended the call, afraid she already did.
“You’re ditching me?” Jill couldn’t believe this. She’d arrived at the airport less than forty-five minutes ago with plans for dinner and girl chat with Mel. Now, Mel informed her with her flighty, singsong voice that Jared called and wanted to talk.
“I’ll drop you at the
house, meet him to see what he wants, then I’ll be home.”
“I have a feeling it won’t play out that way.” Jill scooted sideways in her seat and stared out at the lights flickering past her window on the crowded city streets.
“I’ll be home.”
“You called me, crying and upset. I rushed to be with you, and now you’re leaving me high and dry to meet up with Jared?” She snapped her head in Mel’s direction. Not angry, more annoyed. “See. I told you to wait. If you’d just given him some time—you some time—both of you would’ve come to your senses and all would be right with the world. Again.”
And I wouldn’t be within a twenty-mile radius of Chet.
“Jeez, don’t be hating. I’d think you’d be happy we’re working things out.” Mel’s lower lip jutted forward, mimicking a child.
Tonight Mel’s antics wouldn’t work. Jill glared at her friend until Mel threw her a quick wink.
“Ugh, you drive me mad, Melody Ann Butler.”
“But you love me.”
“As unfortunate as it sometimes is, I do.” They shared a smile. No matter what, Jill couldn’t begrudge fun-loving Mel for long. Never could, never would.
“At least you’re home.”
“To visit.” Jill shot her a harsh look.
“I’ve missed you.” Mel pulled one hand from the steering wheel and squeezed Jill’s fingers.
“Well, don’t get too cozy because I’m flying out tomorrow. I’m in the middle of getting my own life back on line.” Jill’s life finally had a bit of direction, and each day she grew stronger. But knowing Chet was only miles away chinked the armor she’d built around her heart. The sooner she made her exit from this town, the better.
“Whatever.” Mel waved away her words. Her once ring-laden hand now only held one piece of jewelry. A diamond the size of a large metropolitan city—or at least a well-maintained suburb—adorned her hand. “I’ll just drop you off at the house, meet up with Jared, and be home by elevenish.”
Bachelor's Special Page 18