He bent his body over hers, and when she held up her hands, he wove his fingers tightly through hers and stretched her arms over her head, holding her beneath him, covering her, blanketing her, his body driving deeper, wanting to touch her inside as deeply as she touched him.
Her hips picked up his rhythm as he rode her, rising to meet each hard thrust. He was big and he could feel himself bumping against her cervix, pushing deeper, insisting she take all of him. And she did. No matter how much he asked of her, she gave him more. This time he was the one who needed to see into her soul.
“Look at me.” He had to know it was there, real or not. He didn’t even give a damn anymore, he had to see her looking back at him with love in her eyes.
Her gaze met his and he was lost again. Drowning. Whatever he had been before her was gone and only this man—both man and cat; he didn’t know anymore—looked back at him.
“Who am I, Emma?” he challenged softly. “Who’s inside of you so deep I’m part of you. Who am I?”
He surged forward again, plunging through the tight muscles, feeling the fire spread up over his belly, threatening to consume him. Her breath hissed out between her teeth and her eyes glazed, but she didn’t look away. She kept her gaze locked with his.
“Jake. You’re Jake. The man I love with every breath in my body.”
“Can you really love who I am, Emma?” He took another dizzying stroke, watching her eyes go opaque.
“Yes.” Her hips rose to meet him.
“The man and the cat? The rage? The domination? Can you live with that?” He slammed into her hard. Aggressively. Tearing through her silken sheath to bump hard against her cervix.
She didn’t even wince. Instead, she smiled that slow, gentle smile that turned his heart inside out.
“I love everything about you, Jake. Everything. But can you live with me—with this? With me loving you? With you loving me back?”
His eyes burned and his throat closed. He held her pinned beneath him, his body thrusting in and out of hers, while his blood sang and the fire ran up from his belly to his chest, burning over his lungs and heart to consume him. He heard his hoarse shout. Her name. Emma. His life. His world. Emma. That was all. That was everything.
Her muscles clamped down on him, raw silk, alive with heat and fire and something much, much more. He didn’t know what she did to him, only that when he was deep inside her she took him all the way in, to someplace far beyond what he’d ever known or imagined. He heard her soft cries, knew there would be no holding back, and he let himself go, giving himself up to the sheer ecstasy her body provided. He emptied himself into her, feeling the earth-shattering orgasm ripping through her body, through his, so that for that never-ending moment stolen in time, they were one body, one soul.
Jake stayed draped over her, still deep inside her, spent, fighting for air, his body sated and limber, stretched out across hers, his arms caging in her head while he buried his face in the softest part of her neck. His eyes burned, his body shuddering. He held her tight to him, his lips pressed against her pulse while she wept for him. If this was love, whatever was between them, he had no intention of ever losing it.
“Jake.” Emma untangled her fingers from him. His face was wet against her neck. She stroked caresses over his head, not wanting to make him move, but barely able to breathe with his weight pressing her into the wood of the desk. “Are you all right?”
He lifted his head, his hands framing her face. He looked stricken and his eyes seemed wet, but she couldn’t tell if there were tears.
“I swear, Emma, every time I’m in you, the fucking earth moves.” He lowered his head and kissed her. Not one of his usual demanding, take-charge kisses, but a long, lingering, tender kiss that left her weak and shaken.
Jake carefully slid his body from hers, helping her to sit on the edge of his desk. His hands steadied her as she swayed a little. “Can you stand up, Emma?”
“Jake?” Emma wrapped her arms around his neck and used him to pull herself into a standing position. She stood, swaying against him, afraid her legs wouldn’t hold her. “Next time, I want a bed. I mean it. No floors, no outdoors, no desks—an actual bed.”
He laughed softly and hugged her to him. “That’s a promise.”
She lifted her face for another kiss. “Sex with you is an adventure, but I’m thinking I might be getting too old for it. Give me a mattress and I’ll be a happy woman.” She looked at the bathroom door. It seemed miles away. “You’re going to have to carry me.”
“What makes you think my legs are working?” he demanded, cautiously straightening to his full height. His golden eyes searched her face. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
She smoothed the lines of anxiety from his face. “I’ll let you know when you’ve hurt me, Jake.” She slid her arms around his neck and held him to her. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You should, Emma.” He buried his face in the fall of silken red hair. She smelled of sex and essentially Emma. She smelled like his. “Why don’t you want to marry me immediately?”
Emma sighed, savoring the feeling of his body against hers. “Because you still think you have to trap me into staying, Jake. How are you going to believe I love you and accept who you are if you can’t trust in me? If you can’t accept who you are and believe you’re worth loving?”
He swung her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. “You don’t have their blood running in your veins like I do. It’s hard to trust myself when two monsters made me.”
She tilted her chin at him. “Yes, I do have bad blood running in my veins. My father was Trent’s nephew. He went to the rain forest to find a woman, seduce her, bring her back to the States and sell her. I don’t really think my bloodline is all that much better than yours. And as Trent was very willing to rape me that night, and watch someone else rape me, I’m thinking he’s right up there with your enemies.”
She smoothed his hair and leaned into him to brush kisses along his jaw and the corner of his mouth. “You made something of yourself, Jake, because you had a code and you’ve always lived by it. You’re strong and you’re good and so is that part of you that is your cat. The traits you don’t like in yourself will always be there, and like the rest of us who have undesirable traits, you’ll have to find a way to overcome them on a daily basis. That’s what the rest of the world does.”
“You make life seem good, Emma, and it really isn’t. You need me to protect you from yourself, otherwise people like Trent—like me—would eat you alive.” He set her down in the large, tiled shower.
“As long as it’s you,” she agreed and went back into his arms.
18
KYLE was officially her son! Emma danced around the kitchen before flinging herself into Jake’s arms, nearly knocking him over as he stood smiling at her. A courier had delivered the papers from the lawyer’s office in the late afternoon and Emma had burst into tears when she saw the official record.
“I can’t believe you managed to do this so fast, Jake. You’re a miracle worker. I just signed the papers a couple of days ago.”
“I knew it was important to you, honey, and there was no reason to delay it. Fortunately the judge saw it the same way.” Jake held her in his arms, using his fingertips to brush the tears from her eyes. He kissed the tip of her nose. “I’d like to stay and celebrate with you, but I have to fire Hopkins and make certain he hasn’t done any permanent damage to my real estate business. I’ve had my secretaries, Ida and Clara, going through the paperwork for me. Ida, in particular, is really good at spotting inconsistencies. Basically Hopkins was used to distract me from the primary target, which we now know was you. But in going over to the other side, he was dumb enough to try a little creative bookkeeping since we were already losing money. He can be prosecuted.”
She hid her smile against his shoulder. Jake with his unconventional employees. Ida was nearing eighty years old but was as sharp as a tack. He’d found her in the back office of a small
accounting firm some twelve years ago. Her husband had left her years earlier, forcing her back into the work force, and despite being brilliant at what she did, no one treated her with the respect—or wages—Jake thought her due. No one wanted to hire her because of her age, and the small firm had kept her working for minimum wage, so he’d had no qualms about stealing her away from them.
Clara was another misfit. Her husband left her when their fourth child was born autistic. She’d married him right out of high school and had no work experience whatsoever. With her children young and Clara often having trouble getting a sitter, especially for her youngest, she’d been desperate, homeless and trying to acquire skills in order to keep her family together by going to school when she could. Jake had spotted the children in the beat-up car and, furious, had confronted her. He’d hired her on the spot. Found her a place to live and put a small day-care center into one of his office buildings.
Emma had no doubt that the two women would be meticulous in going over every single document, and if Dean Hopkins was stealing from Jake as he suspected, they would find the evidence. She kissed him again, just because he was Jake and never suspected the goodness in himself. He would have said he’d hired Ida and Clara because they were brilliant and loyal, not realizing he had created their loyalty through his own actions.
“The news said the storm is going to be very bad,” she reminded. “There’s going to be widespread flooding. If you can’t beat it home, stay in town so I’ll know you’re safe.”
Jake pressed her tighter against him, hearing that note in her voice, the one that conveyed worry and love, the one he listened for now. Going to his office to confront Hopkins wasn’t nearly as much fun as he had anticipated. He’d much rather stay home with Emma and the children now, but he’d put the confrontation off for too long.
“I’ll be fine, honey. I’ll call you if I think the roads are too bad.”
Emma pressed the papers against her heart again. “I love seeing my name on his birth certificate. Thank you, Jake, this means the world to me.”
“I’m the one who’s thankful to have you as Kyle’s mother, Emma.” He kissed her again and picked up his briefcase. “If you need anything at all, let Drake know.”
“Storms don’t scare me,” she assured.
Emma watched him leave. Although it was still only late afternoon, the sky had already darkened and the winds had picked up. She wasn’t frightened of storms, usually she really enjoyed them, but she did feel uneasy. Knots developed in the very pit of her stomach. Andraya ran into the room, chased after by Susan.
“Mommy.” The little chubby arms went up.
Emma bent down to pick up Andraya, and as she settled her against her hip, the little girl brushed against her breast. It hurt. Really hurt. So much so that she immediately put her daughter back on the floor, inhaling sharply. Her muscles ached. She didn’t want to come down with the flu and have the children get it.
As the afternoon wore on, her symptoms increased. She developed a sensitivity to sound. The light bothered her eyes. At times her eyes would abruptly change vision, so that bands of color appeared before her eyes. Her joints hurt, cracking and popping with every movement she made.
But more than the physical pain, the soreness invading her body was something much, much worse, something insidious and frightening.
She was very aware of her body. Every curve. Every square inch of skin. The heat building inside of her. The tension stretching along nerve endings. She rubbed at her arms as an itch spread, not over the top of her skin, but under, as if something long dormant was rising and trying to get out.
Emma tried to play with the children, but as evening approached she found herself watching the clock, her teeth set grimly, hoping the time would pass faster so she could put them to bed. Her emotions swung out of control in either direction. One moment she was close to tears and the next she was snapping at everyone. Several times Susan asked her what was wrong, and she caught the girl looking at her strangely, as if even her appearance was different.
By dinner time, Emma was certain she was going insane. Her body ached with need. If Jake hadn’t gone to his office she would have been begging him to make love to her. Her breasts ached beyond belief, her nipples hard, brushing against her bra with every step she took until she wanted desperately to rip her clothes off to get some relief. It felt as if a million ants were crawling over her skin, soft, tiny brush strokes feathering up and down every nerve ending. Deep inside, she burned, empty and desperate to be filled. She was hotter than she’d ever been, her temperature rising by several degrees, and not even an ice pack on her neck alleviated the heat.
The brewing storm added to her growing discomfort and unrest. Twice she picked up the phone, and then dropped it back down. She couldn’t let fear put Jake in danger. The weather forecasters had been sending nonstop warnings about possible flooding, and already the rain had started.
With the wind picking up, the rain was being blown sideways. She didn’t want Jake out in danger because she was uneasy and becoming afraid.
Emma put together a nice dinner, trying to do something positive with the restless energy building up inside of her, but she was ready to crawl out of her skin. It hurt to wear clothes. The sexual need came in waves, each one stronger than the last, so that her skin flushed and she wanted to tear her clothes off and rub her body against anything to relief the terrible pressure.
“Susan, after the children finish and while I do the dishes, do you want to give them a bath for me? They like to play in the tub and it might keep them occupied for a few minutes until I can finish up and read to them.” And get everyone out of the way so she could find out just what was happening to her.
“Sure. They’re good in the bathtub. I know where all their toys are.”
Emma didn’t trust her voice. She wanted—no, needed—to strip, to get the weight of her clothes off her too-sensitive skin. She couldn’t stop moving. Her body was undulating with need now. The heat was building, the pressure on her most sensitive bundle of nerves causing her hips to seek relief. She wanted to cry with the ache between her legs.
Emma kissed Kyle and Andraya on top of their heads and gratefully sent them upstairs. Hanging on to the sink, she hung her head, taking huge, deep breaths. She could barely walk, her feet aching, the knuckles on her hands burning along with her fingertips. She kicked off her shoes and dropped to the kitchen floor, crawling toward the intercom, terrified now, desperately needing Jake.
Her body moved with a sensuous slide, her bottom lifting, her arms pushing back, as if her body was separate from her mind and she could no longer control it. She had the urge to touch herself, to trace the curves of her body, to find her burning center and alleviate the ache. Her mind screamed for Jake. She needed Jake.
Outside the rain lashed at the windows and her pulse beat in time to the wild rhythm of the whistling wind. The fever built in her blood. Images of Jake filled her mind, naked, his body muscular, demanding, conquering hers. Not the lovemaking she craved from him, but something altogether different. Her pulse pounded deep inside as blood pooled and demanded. Her mind turned chaotic and her hands—oh, her hands—curling, bending, raking at the floor in frustration.
Sobbing, she hit the intercom button. “Drake.” Her voice was different. Her throat ached. Was raw with burning need. There wasn’t a place on her body that didn’t ache. If the lacy material of her bra brushed against her nipples one more time, she might go insane.
“What’s up, Emma?” Drake’s voice was tense.
She knew he was working to secure the ranch for the storm. Everybody would be. She coughed, felt her hands sliding over her breasts, trying to ease the terrible ache and quickly pulled her hands down. “You have to come here. The kitchen.” And God help her if anyone else came. She had to have Drake tell her what was happening. She knew he was the one with all the knowledge of their species. She knew he talked to Jake. Her mother had never said a word about the change, but some
thing terrifying was happening and it had to be her leopard.
Minutes. Hours. Each wave of sexual hunger was worse than the last one. She was nearly sobbing when she heard the door open.
“Emma?”
“Drake.” Relief poured into her voice. She hadn’t realized just how much she was counting on him to help her. Once she understood, she should be able to manage the intensity of the need burning through her. If this was the way Jake felt all the time, she could understand his need for continual relief.
“Emma, are you all right?” Drake entered the kitchen, took several steps in when the scent hit him hard. He halted abruptly, his fingers curling into tight fists. Deep inside, his leopard leapt and roared, raking at him, clawing deeply in an effort to get out.
“Drake, you have to tell me about what happens to a woman when she goes into heat. Jake started to tell me about it, but I was so certain I didn’t have a leopard. You have to help me.”
He studied her body from across the room, gripping the back of a chair, nearly crushing the wood, clearing his throat before replying, “You need Jake.”
“I know I need Jake. He isn’t here, obviously, so you have to help me. Tell me what to do. I can’t stand this.”
He grit his teeth, fighting down the urge to leap over the table and take her. “None of the men can come in here, Emma, including me. It’s too dangerous. Get the kids down for the night and lock yourself in your room. Don’t let Susan near you. Everyone of the men, leopard or human, is going to be affected by you right now. You have to stay away from them.”
“You’re not helping me.”
“Damn it, Emma. I’m a male whether I can shift or not. I can’t be here.” His nails dug into the kitchen chair.
When she peered around the table at him, her breath caught in her throat. His eyes had gone molten, fixed and staring like that of a predator. His head moved from side to side, but his stare never wavered. His body changed, muscular, compact, so strong. She felt the emptiness pulsing between her thighs as she stared at each breath he took.
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