by Ksenia Anske
Rosehead’s howling subsided to angry rustles. She stomped about rhythmically, cracking twigs in her way.
“Oh, please. Don’t tell me she likes to dance. Here.” Lilith dug into her bag and produced a journal and a pen.
Ed set to work.
Lilith took out The Hound of the Baskervilles, cracked it open and pointed blindly. She read aloud. “Nor can it be denied that many of the family have been unhappy in their deaths, which have been sudden, bloody, and mysterious.” Her insides twisted. “She’ll eat us. She’s getting ready to eat us. Panther, did you hear that?”
The whippet didn’t move, as if pretending to be a stump.
Ed flipped the journal around for Lilith to read. YOU’RE RIGHT. LOOKS LIKE SHE CAN’T GET OUT OF THE GARDEN. BEHIND THE FENCE WE’RE SAFE. WE’LL TALK TO HER FROM HERE. IF SHE DOES ANYTHING STUPID, PANTHER WILL DISTRACT HER. SHE DOESN’T SEEM TO LIKE DOGS. He stuck the journal under the dog’s nose.
“I may have mentioned that I can’t read?” Panther, unable to keep his curiosity in check, stole a glance at the journal.
Just then, an ominous calm spread over the forest. Lilith’s skin prickled with a sense of something having gone awry. She jumped to her feet and peeped out.
Rosehead was gone, as was evident by a wide trail of uprooted bushes. She crouched a little ways off, at the opposite end of her rather violently created passage, prepared to lurch.
“Patrick?” came from the garden. “Mommy? Daddy?”
Lilith could hear the rustle of little feet trotting along. “Petra,” she breathed. “How did she get out of the mansion?”
“Pissed on it?” offered Panther, and then fell quiet when nobody laughed at his remark.
Paralyzed by momentary shock, they stood frozen. Petra stumbled into the pathway, her festive dress in tatters, her hair in disarray. A trickle of rose petals dripped out of Rosehead’s mouth. The girl looked up and let out a scream.
It acted like a signal.
Ed darted forward, stick held high. Lilith bolted, yelling. “Run, Petra, run!” Panther sprinted between them, barking.
Too late.
Rosehead pounced, snatching the girl and raising her high in the air. A triumphant shout of glee spread over the garden. Petra yelled for help, arms flailing.
Ed tried squeezing through the bars. Considerably bigger than Lilith, he didn’t quite fit, so he threw the stick away and began to climb, using the filigree protrusions as leverage.
“Hold on, Petra, we’re coming!” shouted Lilith, sliding through the bars.
Panther reached the monster first and bit her on the shaft of woven canes that constituted her ankle. Rosehead roared, glanced down, and with a swipe of her arm, sent the whippet flying. He disappeared into the greenery with what sounded like a string of very mature obscenities the likes of which Lilith hadn’t heard from her pet before.
“Oh no you didn’t!” she screamed, not caring if Rosehead understood English or German or talked at all. Anger banished her fear. She ran up to the pair of massive legs and slapped and pounded and kicked everywhere she could reach. “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY PANTHER, YOU STINKING, BLOOD-SUCKING, MEGA-HAIRY PSYCHO-HEDGE!”
Ed made it to the top of the fence, eagle-spread his arms, and jumped in a spectacular dare, landing right on the bush woman’s back. He started breaking twigs, inflicting as much damage as was possible upon a thirteen-foot shrub oddity.
Rosehead let out a wail, fell to her knees with a thunderous crash, and let Petra roll out of her hand. Lilith narrowly avoided collision, wisely stealing out of the way at the last moment. By the time she scrambled back, the giantess shook Ed off her back and threw him into the bushes. Petra crawled deep into the bramble and hid.
Somewhere close, Panther yapped.
Somewhere closer, Ed moaned.
“Ed! Panther! Petra!” Lilith called. “Guys, where are you?”
But it was Rosehead who answered, blocking the light with her massive girth, her eyes red and blood-thirsty.
For a brief moment, the girl and the creature faced each other with ferocious intensity. A dozen split-second decisions rushed through Lilith’s mind. Her first impulse was to run, but then she decided the better of it. She wasn’t going to be a coward like her grandfather. She was heir to the Bloom property. Everything that grew in the garden belonged to her. If she couldn’t find a way to control Rosehead now, she’d never be able to control her.
It’s a dog-eat-dog world, her father always said. You’ve got to show the dog who’s the boss the moment you meet to establish your alpha position. Remember, a dog that knows its place is a happy dog.
Trembling, Lilith took a step forward, head raised high.
“My name is Lilith Bloom,” she said forcefully. “I’m heir to the Bloom property. You are part of this property, and, therefore, fall under my authority. I command you to stop eating people at once. Do you understand?” She looked straight into a pair of florid eyes.
Rosehead inclined her massive head, as if listening.
“I don’t want you to eat any more people, you idiot rosecake! DO YOU GET IT?” Something leafy bumped into Lilith’s back. With horror, she realized that the bramble behind her intertwined into an impenetrable wall and slithered closer, shrinking the clearing to about ten feet in diameter. In the next instant, knocking off her beret, the giant monstrosity grabbed the girl and dangled her above a vast open mouth, stench rising from it.
“Ludwig loved you!” yelled Lilith on a whim. “He would’ve never wanted you to turn into a monster! Doesn’t the word love mean anything to you? Anything at all?”
Rosehead halted. Lilith heard rustling, which might’ve indicated a crude thinking process as the creature recalled her distant past. She stood for a minute, perplexed. Lilith stealthily began to wiggle out of her hold.
Hostile barking preceding him, Panther squeezed between twigs and broke into the glade. He circled Rosehead, yapping his head off. She stomped back, bumped into the hedge, and loosened her grip involuntarily. Without waiting for another chance, Lilith pried open the twigs of the giant fingers and hurtled down, landing on her feet and rolling on inertia. She heard the monster suck in air and launch into a disappointed cry, generating a foul wind that rippled through the garden, throwing dirt and leaves into Lilith’s face.
Somebody moaned not too far away. Lilith peered into the shadows. “Ed?” she croaked. “Ed, is that you? Where are you?”
But of course Ed didn’t talk. It took Lilith another few minutes to find his slumped figure. “Are you all right?” She helped him sit up.
He blinked affirmatively and pulled himself up, brushing off the leaves. His visible damage consisted of a few facial scratches.
“Are you sure?”
He put a hand over her mouth, working his lips into one word. Petra. Lilith briefly wondered if she should say more arbitrary things, just to feel his smooth hand on her face again.
But the barking escalated, as did the howls.
“You’re right. She doesn’t like dogs. Better, I think she’s scared of them,” mused Lilith. Ed didn’t shush her, this time beckoning. She followed. Disoriented, they waded through the greenery trying to find their way into the clearing. Evening fog unspooled around them, heavy with stench.
“That was unbelievable, what you did,” whispered Lilith. “You jumped right onto her back! Wow! Did she hurt you?”
Ed mimed an urgent need to write.
“My journal? Just a—oh no! I forgot my bag over by the tree. My beret...” She patted her head, and sighed.
Ed expressed comical disappointment with a multitude of facial features, squirming and shifting and otherwise doing things Lilith thought incapable of a human face.
“Look,” she said, “you can talk, I know you can. Please, for Petra. We’ve got to find her. Nobody is coming for help; they’re all locked up in the mansion.”
Ed opened and closed his mouth, pointing at it, his eyes misty with effort and emotion.
�
�Please,” she repeated, placing her hands on his shoulders. “Think about it. What would your dad do? Did he die in vain? Will you stay silent your entire life? Draw pictures? Is that it? What good is drawing pictures if your cousin is eaten by some stinking maniacal loser of a bush-weirdo?”
Ed looked like he swallowed a fly. He produced a choking noise that almost formed a word.
Bushes around them slithered closer.
Lilith paid them no attention. “Think about Petra. I know you can talk. Do it!” In her fervor she spoke too loudly.
Howls stopped, as did the barking. There was a pause, and then Rosehead walked in their direction, breaking through the bramble. Panther resumed his yapping.
“She’s coming!” Lilith’s eyes rounded.
Ed blew out his cheeks with an effort to utter an intelligent string of letters.
“Oh, forget it. Come on.” She tugged on his hand.
He didn’t budge, pale from straining.
“Okay, if you want to stand here, stand here,” she said, with a trifle of irritation. “I’m going after Petra.” Lilith took off blindly. “Petra, where are you?”
Behind her, something broke through the air. A croak, a cough, and then a voice. “Petra,” Ed called, sounding winded, like an old man.
“Ed!” came from the bushes to the left.
Lilith couldn’t help herself. Flustered, she turned around and flung herself at her friend, covering his face with kisses. Ed turned into a rather sizzling, yet awkwardly rigid, version of himself, his arms hanging limply.
“You talked! You talked! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I got mad, it’s just that—I knew it—I knew you could do it, but you wouldn’t, wouldn’t listen to me, but then you did and I—I...well, the thing is...I love you.” Lilith’s face boiled. Ashamed at her own daring admission, she let go, hastily stepping back. It was the worst possible moment to profess her love. You could say that the rose garden was a romantic place, yes, but you couldn’t possibly agree that an ugly thirteen-foot tall monster trimmed from a shrub and waddling this very moment toward you to take your life qualified as an added romantic element. Candles would’ve been more appropriate.
All of this crossed Lilith’s mind very quickly. She stood immobile, perplexed. Due to the dusk, she couldn’t quite determine if Ed blushed, but a characteristic warmth came off his face, together with a delicious cookie smell.
“I. You,” he wheezed uncertainly. “Petra.”
By an unspoken signal, they clutched hands and took off in the direction of the little girl’s calls, turned a corner, and bumped straight into Rosehead, her huge shape silhouetted against the darkening sky, Panther on her heels.
“Er...what do we do now?” said Lilith, in a small voice.
“Scatter,” Ed croaked, and darted to the side. “Hey, Rosehead.” He yanked the flashlight out of his pocket, flicked it on, and brandished it above his head.
Rosehead followed the light with her eyes and lunged.
Ed threw the flashlight to Lilith. She caught it and understood at once. The only way they could escape was to confuse her, to disperse in all directions. Lilith ducked, passed right between two massive legs and yelled, “Hey, you, stupid cow! I command you to catch me! Think you can?”
“Cow? More like a whale,” came from Panther, between barks.
Rosehead turned around, which was not an easy task given her gigantic belly. Ed’s flashlight acted like an annoying firefly. She kept following it, lured by its brightness. Panther caught on to the game and split, barking his head off.
“Ed!” yelled Lilith. “Catch!”
A glowing dot traced an arc in the evening sky. Then again. And again.
“Here. Rosehead,” croaked Ed.
Wailing like an injured bear, the giantess stomped around.
“I got her! I got it, I got it! Get Petra and go!” screamed Lilith.
“Sure?”
“Positive!”
“Okay. I. Home. Back. Help.” Ed disappeared behind a turn, and then reappeared with Petra on his back as he jogged out of sight.
“Behind you!” Panther snarled.
Lilith whirled around a tad too fast, suddenly feeling nauseous and dizzy. She remembered having eaten only breakfast. Her vision blurred, noises hushed, and the garden spun until the ground hit the back of her head.
Rosehead blocked the sky, a ravenous grin splitting her face, her rose-eyes sparkling.
Lilith tried to sit without success, promptly falling back. Panther ran up and licked her face. “Madam, don’t toy with me, please. This is a bad, bad place for a nap. Up you go. Madam?” His grows faltered.
“I don’t feel so good...” She took a deep breath, and focused on staying calm in the face of certain death.
Chapter 26
The Repugnant Birth
First stars flickered to life, watching the scene with unblinking interest. Crows screeched in the distance, not daring to fly closer. Panther snapped at Rosehead. She kicked him aside like an annoying fly, reached for the girl, and lifted her. Terror numbed Lilith. She wondered about her parents trapped in the mansion, if she’d ever see them again, if Ed and Petra made it to his cottage, and where her grandfather was...
Time slowed down. The evening air blew on Lilith’s face, calming her. There was no point in crying or yelling, because no matter what she did, it didn’t have any effect on Rosehead. Lilith felt like a small frightened girl who tried to wear a façade of bravado and failed miserably. There was only one thing she had left to do.
“Panther. You there? Can you hear me? If you can, I’m sorry if I was ever mean to you. I love you.” She took a breath, willing the dizziness to go away. “Tell mom and dad I love them. Tell Ed—”
“Don’t you start dying on me, madam!” growled Panther from below. “You still owe me steak. I simply cannot allow you to vanish without delivering my payment. Personally.”
Lilith’s face broke into a smile.
“Let her go, you disgusting, bloated, leafy-brained, club-footed, maggot-eating idiot!” Panther yapped. “I will piss on you!” An unmistakably liquid noise issued up.
Rosehead opened her mouth wider, unperturbed.
“Listen here, you illiterate bush-cake. My name is Lilith Bloom,” said Lilith, encouraged. “I hope you choke on my blood.”
Rosehead hesitated.
“I hope it poisons you—make your roots rot. I hope it makes you sick.” Lilith’s voice grew louder. “I hope it gives you a stomachache so vociferously fierce, that you wished you were dead.” Just as Lilith’s feet dangled a foot away from the lipless hole, Rosehead let out a moan and convulsed, clutching her belly.
For a second, Lilith thought she’d miraculously cursed the creature, but then understanding dawned on her.
A great shiver went through the giantess. She recovered, and then doubled down again, another spasm seizing her. Her belly shifted restlessly. Firmly pressed to it, Lilith glimpsed disturbing flashes of red through gaps of interlaced stems. They appeared to be eyes, dozens of them, so bright that they glowed in the dark.
Lilith licked her lips. “Panther? It’s starting. And, er...I just saw something? She’s not having a baby mutant. We were wrong. She’s having a whole litter of them!”
“I’m very much aware of this, thank you,” Panther growled. “Hang on just a little more, okay?”
A violent fit slackened Rosehead’s hold. Lilith wiggled, her heart jumping out of her chest. Another powerful cramp and the monstrous bush crashed to its knees. Lilith crawled out of the prickly palm and turned in time to witness Rosehead collapse and bellow, holding on to her middle.
A wet nose brushed Lilith’s cheek.
“Panther!” She hugged him. “Are you okay?”
“Why, my dear Holmes, I think I’ve been traumatized for life by this investigation. However, a healthy dose of steak will positively nurse me back to health.”
“I’m not dead, Panther. I’m not dead, I’m not dead, I’m not dead!” Lilith’s teeth c
hattered. “She didn’t eat me.”
“Do you need me to bite you, to confirm your aliveness?”
A series of powerful blows shook the ground. Rosehead pounded on it with her arms and legs, mashing everything into pulp. Lilith and Panther scrambled out of the way to avoid an accidental punch. They watched her for a while.
“I love these names you come up with. Maggot-eating idiot. That was a good one,” said Lilith.
“I’m glad you approve.”
They grinned at each other.
Rosehead appeared temporarily incapacitated, moaning and arching and overall behaving like a woman in labor, if not for her tangled leafy appearance and huge size.
Emboldened by this observation, Lilith stood. “Do you want to stay and watch? How long do you think it will take?” She wiped her scratched face with a sleeve, studying their surroundings.
The mansion was nowhere in sight. Whatever part of the garden they occupied, it was smashed to smithereens, resembling an upturned cropland. Some bushes were uprooted, some flattened, and some stood erect like solitary survivors. Worse, it seemed as though the roses were dying. A thin fog trailed on the breeze. A curious flock of crows formed a writhing circle around Rosehead, who reclined on a mound of dirt, feverish, periodically slamming her fists down or emitting piercing cries. She seemed to be unaware of anything around her, except her pain.
Having delivered numerous puppies, Lilith was well versed in medical terms such as dilation and effacement and expulsion. Rosehead’s dark silhouette, however, provided no information on any of these accounts. A reddish glow broke through the gaps in her midriff.
“Whatever these things are, they’re about to be born,” Lilith warned.
“Glad you noticed.” Panther made to depart.
“How did you know? You said you were aware?”
“The view from below provided me with ample information, madam. Enough for me to deduce the exact nature of what this oddity of a cracked bush-brain has been carrying inside her for the past week. Quite damaging to my psyche. I might require therapy upon return, I must warn you, as an added benefit for performing this—”