by Ksenia Anske
Rosehead appeared in the window, mouth opened wide.
“I can’t believe I signed up to conquer this foliage-covered, plasma-sucking imbecile,” growled Panther. “I must truly love you more than steak.”
“Your exquisite descriptions never cease to astound me,” said Lilith. “There she goes again.”
Rosehead struck the glass with one heavy fist. The window merely stretched inward without breaking.
Lilith let out a breath. “Honestly, I think being crushed by a mansion is a better way to go than to be sucked dry by that thing.”
Ed shook his head. “Don’t have to.”
“I don’t see what choice I have,” said Lilith. “If I stay in the mansion, it will eventually eat me. If I try to get out, the garden will eat me. Let’s say I manage to get out—which is highly unlikely, given the fact that I promised my life to it—how do you propose I fight Rosehead and a million of her little mutant babies?”
A strange smile played on Ed’s lips. He gave the book to Lilith and said, “Fire.”
There was a pause. Then another pause.
Then Panther growled, “Bloody brilliant.”
The mansion passed a tremor.
Lilith remained silent, dumbstruck. The idea was so simple yet so ingenious; she wished she came up with it herself.
“Fire,” she repeated, thinking back to the Bloom family history. No stories of fires came to mind. Did that mean that the rose garden survived for seven centuries without being touched by flames? And if it was, would it burn to the ground and die, never to regenerate?
“How did you—” Lilith began.
“Your method.” Ed placed the tip of his finger on the page, tracing several sentences.
“May I remind you—” Panther started.
“Ahead of you, dear Watson,” said Lilith, and read the entire passage aloud. Fire burst from its open mouth, its eyes glowed with a smoldering glare, its muzzle and hackles and dewlap were outlined in flickering flame. Never in the delirious dream of a disordered brain could anything more savage, more appalling, more hellish be conceived than that dark form and savage face which broke upon us out of the wall of fog.
Lilith shut the book. “Genius,” she gushed. “Will it work?”
Carried away by their conversation, they didn’t notice a slew of dangerous noises. The walls shifted uneasily, followed by soft footsteps, metallic jiggling, and a snap of the lock.
Without a warning, the doorknob turned and Alfred entered the room. “Ah! I thought I’d find you here.” He towered over them. “Lurking in guest’s rooms, are we? Up you go, my dears. Your parents are worried sick, wondering where you went.”
Panther was the first to act. He yapped and lurched at Alfred’s arm, locking his jaws. A paroxysm of hate contorted Alfred’s features. “You little...” Attempting to shake the whippet off, he made to snatch Lilith. Ed yanked her out of reach, and her grandfather’s hand closed on empty air. With a grunt, Alfred bashed Panther on the bedpost. The whippet let go, whimpering, and slid to the floor, immediately biting his ankle. Alfred cried out and leaned to hit the dog, but Ed bumped him from behind, sending him sprawling.
Fuming, Lilith commanded, “Mansion, don’t let him up, do you hear me?”
It grudgingly obliged, sinking Alfred into the floor with an earsplitting creaking, trapping his body under the boards and leaving only his face visible.
“Gustav! GUSTAV!” he bellowed, coughing up dust.
“Herr?” came from the door. Gustav appeared out of nowhere, as usual, perched on his shaky legs, his watery lips pressed into a smile of servitude. Arms behind his back, he stooped, awaiting instructions.
“Get me out of here!” Alfred sputtered.
“Herr?” Gustav pressed a hand around his ear.
Muffled cheers and jeers erupted outside. There was the distinct trumpeting of an elephant, calls of animal trainers, and the general commotion that sounded so unmistakably circus-like.
Lilith looked at the window. “The carnival!”
Rosehead was gone. Lavender dusk settled itself over the garden. The setting sun gave it an ominous reddish glow. Everything stood threateningly still.
Lilith had an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. The guests were surely already outside, sitting down to watch the performance. With Rosehead and her rosebushes on the prowl, the entire spectacle could easily turn into a massacre. It shouldn’t, if the mansion held its promise; but who was to say they didn’t conspire against her together? It must have heard them talking about the idea of a fire just now. And how exactly were they going to set the garden on fire with all those people out there? Lilith’s palms felt clammy. Who was to say the mansion wasn’t carrying news to Rosehead this very minute? After all, the entire property must have been possessed by the same spirit of Rose Bloom, wasn’t it?
Lilith bit on her lip. “Guys? We have a problem,” she whispered, too quietly for anyone to hear.
“Gustav...” Alfred wiggled, a layer of sweat glistening on his forehead. “Lilith? My dear girl. Ed? Help me out of here, will you? Hey, puppy.” He chuckled uneasily.
The boy and the dog stood over the old man, watching him with disgust.
“Brute,” said Ed with force. “You. Deserve it. For my dad.” He balled his hands into fists.
Lilith touched him. “No. Not worth it. Let’s leave him; we have a bigger problem on our hands.”
Panther cleared his throat. “Ed?”
Gustav’s eyes popped. He ogled the whippet, launching into a series of prolonged wheezing coughs and gurgling noises. Apparently, he had never seen a talking dog before.
“I’d like to show you my support,” continued Panther. “I disagree with Lilith. I think you should pummel this moron into a juicy pulp. Lilith, it’s one of those cases where what I’m about to do will piss you off.”
“Excuse me?” said Lilith.
Panther, tail curled, sauntered over to Alfred’s trapped head and sniffed it. “You filthy, stinking, money-chasing, dung-eating, retarded face of an ape. I, Panther Junior Bloom, am a proud whippet, and I will piss on you!” He lifted his leg.
“Panther!” Lilith made to snatch her pet, but this time it was Ed who stopped her, an evil grin playing on his face.
There was a hissing noise, a spitting noise, and a string of malevolent German curse words. The mansion protested by quivering in revulsion.
Panther slapped a paw on Ed’s outstretched palm.
“Boys.” Lilith narrowed her eyes. “I suppose it would be wise to get out of here before the room spits us out.”
Gustav held the door open. As they passed he winked, his first attempt at friendliness.
In a rush of hope, and the promise of a dangerous adventure, they ran along the corridor, Panther in the lead.
“Guys, we have a problem,” panted Lilith.
They halted.
“I think the mansion heard us.” She fixed her festive beret nervously. “Of course it heard us, why didn’t I think about this before. We can’t openly talk about it, you know. About the thing we just talked about, that gave us the idea to use that other thing, on that big thing?”
Ed stared at Lilith uncomprehendingly.
“Wait, where are we going to get it? The...you know. The thing? It’s, um, red? Well, orange and yellow sometimes.” Lilith hesitated to say the word.
“She means, conflagration,” interjected Panther. “Inferno? Pyre? The sea of devouring incandescent petals that swirl with incredible warmth, sparks, and glow?”
It took Ed a minute. Then his face cleared. “Agatha. She’s got it,” he said.
“Oh, Agatha again. Can we trust her?” Lilith hesitated.
Ed nodded and put a finger across his lips.
They crept down the stairs. The first floor was deserted. Distant laughter and applause indicated that the circus performance had started.
“Where are mom and dad?” said Lilith, her heart pounding.
“Maybe they got bored looking
for you and decided to ride the elephants?” Panther yapped innocently.
“Not funny. What if they’re in the garden? Looking for me?”
“I thought you made a deal with this new friend of yours? What’s the name. Manure? Manor?”
Ed shushed them.
They inched along the wall and slid into the kitchen. The place was usually full of clinking dishes, clanking glasses, and banging pots, but was now eerily quiet.
Chapter 32
Agatha’s Pledge
It took a moment for Lilith to adjust to the gloom. Small windows let in only a trickle of light. Between rows of boxes and the looming refrigerator stood Agatha, her eyes glittering in the dark. Behind her, Monika’s white teeth sparkled in a dazzling smile. She made a kissing noise and dropped something on the floor. It made a wet smack. Panther produced a sound of sheer doggy happiness, rushed over, and bit into it.
An echo of distant merriment reached them. In the dimness of the kitchen, it seemed unreal that somewhere out there people could enjoy themselves.
“Er, hello,” said Lilith, waving her hand.
“Little miss wants to save lives. Zat iz very brave,” said Agatha without any preamble.
“I...” Lilith’s face turned hot. She felt grateful for the darkness. “Excuse me, but how do you know?”
“I told them,” said Ed.
Lilith grabbed his arm and whispered hotly, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. “You told them what?”
“Everything.”
“Everything? Everything, everything?”
Ed nodded, retreating to his old habit.
“And they believed you? I mean, they don’t think I’m crazy?” Lilith trembled.
“They’ve known. All along,” he said.
“I suspected. I mean, it’s great to hear it confirmed. It’s excruciatingly splendid news, but, you know. You could’ve asked me first.”
“Sorry. You were sleeping?” Ed suddenly became very interested in the windows.
“Naturally.” Lilith narrowed her eyes and released her hold, fuming. “Once you tell a friend a secret, everyone knows about it.”
“We heard little miss needz fire,” professed Agatha.
“Shhhh!” shushed Lilith. “Don’t say the word!”
Alas. The kitchen shook as if a herd of cows ran across its perimeter. Plates rattled, glasses tinkled.
“Please don’t say the word,” pleaded Lilith, miming the rest as Ed would. She waved her arms about and moved her lips in an exaggerated manner, hoping it spelled out to everyone, don’t talk about fire, the mansion can hear us. Of course, given the darkness of the room, the servants hardly understood what she meant.
The kitchen’s tremor didn’t seem to phase Agatha one bit. “We want to help,” she continued, her eyes glinting. “Zere iz little time. Monika?”
Monika petted Panther who pretended to be an ordinary dog with no extraordinary speaking abilities.
“Monika!”
“Ja, Frau Agatha!” Monika startled, disappeared into a dark corner, and emerged triumphantly, holding a bunch of arm-length iron sticks, their ends wrapped in spongy foam.
“Are these...” said Lilith.
“Torches. From the circus,” said Ed.
Hanging pots clanged. The floor heaved, shaking the stove and the refrigerator dangerously. Lilith reached out to Ed to hold on.
“Well, this is spiffing spectacular. Um. Everyone? Perhaps it’s better we talk outside?” suggested Lilith irritably, horror sliding into her stomach.
“Too late,” said Ed. “It knows.”
All window latches snapped shut as one. Both door locks turned, clicking into place, shutting them off from the rest of the mansion as well as from the way out into the garden.
As if this was not enough, a loud thud outside made them jump. It sounded as if either Rosehead stomped her foot, or an elephant tripped and fell. Then there was a distant shifting of the floors above, indicating either Alfred’s victory over the room, or the room’s victory over him, or something else. In fact, it sounded suspiciously like someone or something was being ejected into the sky.
Panther produced a noise very similar to a chuckle.
Lilith gulped. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”
“I hope. He lands. In a pile of dung,” whispered Ed.
“At least he’s outside. As opposed to us, lovingly trapped and about to be crushed alive,” said Lilith, eyeing the ceiling.
The ceiling didn’t fall short of her expectations. It dropped a foot, thought about it, and dropped two more. The walls joined by muscling over a good chunk of the floor, pushing the stove, the refrigerator and all the counters with them. The racket was unimaginable.
Ed and Lilith covered their ears, while Panther hopped about as if escaping a horde of biting fleas. The servants, on the other hand, didn’t mind the situation one bit. It appeared they were quite used to this sort of behavior from the house.
“Monika,” commanded Agatha, adding something in German.
Monika produced a lighter and lit one of the torches. It sputtered and spit, filling the kitchen with the burnt smell of resin. Agatha snatched it out of her hand.
“Zere will be fire eating. We set fire to ze garden zen,” she said, ignoring another stony vibration. “Zis way.” She lowered the torch so that the flames licked the doorknob.
It squealed horribly, twisting and squirming and throbbing. Every surface in the room bulged and creaked. The entire mansion seemed to be squealing, passing whistles like those of a gigantic teakettle about to burst. And it stunk unmercifully of smoldering dirt.
Lilith and Ed covered their faces, coughing.
Panther yelped in fright.
Agatha held true until the knob, blackened and smoking, bleated defeat and the door blasted open.
The party dashed out, just in time for the door to snap behind them with an upset twang. They halted, separated from the first line of the rosebushes by about ten feet of gravel. The garden rustled as if pulsing with hunger.
“Wait. Wait!” said Lilith. Things happened too fast. Could she trust the servants who knew their master longer than she was alive?
“Zere izn’t time,” Agatha hissed.
“She’s right. Come on,” said Ed.
“I need to know.” Lilith shook her head stubbornly, torn by doubt and fear. “Could you kindly elaborate as to why you want to help me?” She licked her lips, eyeing one of the bushes that slowly inched closer. “You served my grandfather for several decades, correct? Why turn against him all of a sudden?”
“Little miss iz all questions,” Agatha snapped. “Alwayz questions.” She suddenly rushed close, glaring. “It iz not eazy watching people die—watch ze lady of ze house die. We tried getting rid of ze spirit. We failed. Only heir can do zat. Master won’t do it, master iz afraid. You are a brave girl wiz brave friends. We will do anyzing to stop zis.”
Lilith’s heart thrummed in her throat. “You saw Rosehead eat my grandmother?”
“We were too late to find her. Too late.” Agatha looked away, and in time. A bush rushed at her. She stuck out the torch. It hissed and retreated. They were safe under the protection of fire, but not for long. More bushes surrounded them, a hideous chatter issuing from their depth.
“Thank you for believing me,” said Lilith. “Thank you for not thinking I’m nuts or cuckoo.”
“Come on!” breathed Ed feverishly, throwing up his arms.
Panther snarled, baring his teeth.
“One more thing.” She looked at the servants. “It seems like everyone here has their own agenda, the mansion included. Esteemed Agatha, I don’t mean anything by it, please excuse me for saying this, it’s nothing personal, you understand, but how do I know you’re not lying?”
“Dad trusted her,” said Ed firmly.
“Little miss iz hurting our pride. No Bloom servant haz lied to Bloom master.” Red splotches climbed up Agatha’s cheeks.
“I don’t buy this fo
r a second,” retorted Lilith. “You lied to my grandfather about my beret, didn’t you?”
“Not saying zings iz not lying,” Agatha snapped.
“It iz our duty to do your bidding,” chimed in Monika, to extinguish the argument.
Another heavy thump shuddered the ground. A piercing wail full of rage tore through the sky.
The housekeeper winced. “She knowz. Ze mansion told her.”
“How do you know? And how is it that nobody except us can hear her?” asked Lilith, unable to withhold the questions that burned in her head since she heard the monster for the first time.
“People hear only what zey want to hear,” hissed Agatha. “Will zis help little miss decide faster? I, Agatha Weber, ze houzekeeper, pledge to you my service.” She elbowed the cook.
“I, Monika Pflaume, ze cook, pledge to you my service.”
They bowed.
Lilith fixed her beret. “Um,” she began uncertainly.
Rose stems gnashed against each other like teeth, a tight circle of them barely a few feet away from the party, seething and swaying.
Panther barked. Ed snatched the torch from Agatha’s hand and poked the bushes. “You stinking garden. If you have guts. I’d like too see them. Pop and sizzle.”
The shrubs retreated, but only for a moment.
Lilith said hastily, “Okay, okay. Dear Agatha and Monika, please excuse my hesitation. I, Lilith Bloom, heir to the Bloom property, accept your pledge of service. I’m forever and eternally and everlastingly—”
Panther bit her ankle.
“Grateful,” Lilith finished. “I’m ready.” She took a torch and a lighter from Monika, her hands shaking hard.
“Zis way,” prompted Agatha.
They pressed their backs to each other and, thrusting the torches into the dark green mass of leaves, slowly made their way around the mansion.
“Where are we going?” asked Lilith in between attempts to make her lighter work.
“Ze motor court,” said Agatha, waving her blazing torch. “We will hide by ze fence.”
Lilith frowned, finally succeeding in lighting her torch. It crackled, caught fire and issued smoke. Monika pressed behind her, slashing at the bushes. Ed’s arm flew left and right in wide arcs, his face glistening with sweat.