by Jane Godman
She looked startled, but did as he said. “Where are we going?”
“I have no idea how fast our mystery presence can move, but let’s find out.” He grinned as he gunned the engine.
Cindy made no protest as he drove out of the parking lot, opening the car up once they were on the highway. Instead of heading back toward Hendrik’s house, he followed a route in the opposite direction, toward the mountains. Pine-covered hillsides flashed by as he kept up a relentless pace. The roads were quiet and he was able to take the twisting bends and narrow passes at speed.
He risked a glance at Cindy’s face to see how she was coping with the white-knuckle ride, and was surprised to see a faint smile on her lips.
“You’re enjoying this?”
“I guess I had any fear of speed drilled out of me on the back of a motorbike.”
Sebastian knew Samson had rescued her from a biker gang, but he didn’t know any of the details. Cindy always appeared untouched by any horrors that had happened to her. He guessed that wasn’t the case, and that her serenity was a mask she wore to cover what she had been through.
“Where are we going?” Cindy asked again after they had been traveling for about half an hour.
“A friend of mine has a cabin up near Crystal Falls. I use it now and then when I’m staying here.” He swung the car around a sharp bend and off the main highway. “I want to test our watcher. See if he can follow us out here.”
“Are you suggesting we stay out here tonight?” There was a doubtful note in Cindy’s voice that was noticeable even above the rattling of the engine as they bumped over an uneven track.
Did she know how he felt about her? Was that why she was asking? “Don’t worry. There are two bedrooms.”
She gave a little gasp. “That wasn’t why I was asking!” He could sense her confusion. “I don’t have anything with me . . . no change of clothes, nothing to wash with, we have no food . . .”
“I can’t do anything about the change of clothes, but I have soap, shampoo, and toothpaste in the trunk. And I got some basic groceries after I left the airport.”
“Wolf groceries?” There was a hint of laughter in her voice, and relief flooded through him. At least she wasn’t scared of being alone with him. It always struck him as odd that she didn’t eat red meat. He didn’t know much about the logistics of humans who converted to werewolf status by taking the bite of their mate. He’d have assumed they acquired all the traits of a werewolf. In Cindy’s case that seemed not to be so. Quite the opposite. Bloody meat appeared to make her queasy.
“Okay, I didn’t know I’d have company when I shopped.” He turned to grin at her. “But there’s coffee and eggs.”
“I’ve been kidnapped by a big, bad wolf.” Cindy groaned. “And it’s my job to cook him breakfast.”
Although the words were a joke, something shimmered in the air between them. Something that had been there for a long time. Tempting them, whispering what-ifs, tormenting them with images of how it could be between them. It surfaced now with a sharp, stinging edge. While Hendrik was alive, they had never gone there. It had been taboo. Now? It beckoned and enticed them.
“Live dangerously, Cindy.” What was he suggesting? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was he was alone with the woman who had haunted his dreams for the last four years. And, for the first time in forever, he felt excited. Horny. You don’t mean excited. You mean horny.
He had no idea how Cindy felt about him. Now and then, he had suspected that her feelings might be something more than friendship. They’d always had a closeness that went beyond the dynamics of the group. She was the person he sought out first when the brotherhood got together at Hendrik’s place, or they met up at Lowell’s elegant mansion. Cindy was the person he confided in when a story got tricky and he couldn’t see a way to make it work. Whenever he came to Fairbanks, it was her face he looked forward to seeing, her voice he wanted to hear. If he was honest with himself, she was the person who made this place feel the most like home.
But she was with Hendrik. Your friend Hendrik. Remember him? The guy for whom you are both still grieving? He poured the thought over himself like a bucket of cold water.
From the first moment he had seen Cindy, he had wanted her. It had caught him unawares. Striding into Hendrik’s kitchen one day preparing to meet up with Madden and Sebastian to discuss a security problem, he had come face-to-face with a slender, blue-eyed human woman struggling to carry a crate of beer. He had gone to her aid and, as she had shyly thanked him, Sebastian had gazed at her in shock. Because everything about her had knocked him sideways. He had never experienced anything like it. It had been lust and sweet longing in equal intensity. He had wanted to scoop her up in his arms, carry her away somewhere where they could be alone and never let her go. And he felt the same way every time he looked at her.
Sebastian knew what werewolf folklore said. When you found your mate, the hit of pure attraction was like a drug injected straight into the bloodstream. That certainly described how he felt about Cindy, but surely fate couldn’t be so cruel? There was one mate for each werewolf. Cindy was human. It wasn’t impossible for her to be his mate, but it was unusual. And she couldn’t be his mate if she was with Hendrik. They had been together for four years. He guessed she must have taken Hendrik’s bite, become his life partner. It placed her even further beyond Sebastian’s reach. He had spent the last four years having those arguments with himself.
He was driving along the stretch of road that led to the cabin now. As they approached the ridge on which the tiny log structure stood, Cindy drew in an appreciative breath. Even though the light was fading, the views were spectacular. It was the perfect setting for an Alaskan landscape photo shoot. In the far distance, the hazy outline of the far peaks of the Alaska Range could just be seen in the golden sunset. Closer to the cabin, a swooping valley led the eyes down to a silver lake. Its silver waters were a mirror for the whole scene. The cabin was the perfect vantage point from which to enjoy the solitude of the tundra in all its late-evening perfection.
As she alighted from the car, she turned to smile at him. “Okay, you win. This beats being cooped up in the house with a malignant who-knows-what.”
“Do you think it’s a ghost?” Sebastian unloaded his bag and the groceries from the trunk and carried them inside.
Cindy wrinkled her nose. “If it’s a ghost, wouldn’t it be confined to the house instead of following me around?”
“I don’t know enough about these things,” Sebastian admitted. “You know who we need?”
“Lowell.” They said the name together and laughed. Lowell was the brotherhood’s folklore expert. Anything he didn’t know about the werewolf legends and the paranormal wasn’t worth knowing. Their laughter was affectionate and reminiscent at the same time. Once you got Lowell started on a topic, it was hard to stop him.
“Maybe we’ll consult Lowell if your watcher persists. Can you feel his presence now?”
Cindy took a moment to look around the small family room. It was furnished in typical cabin style, with homey sofas and bright colored rugs and cushions. “I can’t feel anything.” She smiled. “Except cold.”
Sebastian was surprised. He wasn’t sure how these things worked, but he had an idea. Just like with the red meat thing, when Cindy took Hendrik’s bite, she became a werewolf herself. Until now, he’d have believed that made her the same species of werewolf as her mate. Hendrik had been an Arctic werewolf, a creature of the ice and snow. We thrive in the cold. Yet Cindy was definitely shivering. So maybe he was wrong. Maybe when she took Hendrik’s bite, she didn’t take on all the characteristics of the Arctic species, or even of a werewolf. Maybe some of her human features remained. Whatever had happened, standing gazing at her while she froze to death wasn’t helpful.
“You make coffee while I light the fire.”
Fire? He was an Arctic werewolf. A fire was going to kill him.
Cindy obviously read his thoughts. “You can’t be in
a room this size with a fire blazing.”
“We’ll compromise.”
Twenty minutes later, Sebastian had brought a heater through from one of the bedrooms. He was bare chested and wearing shorts while Cindy was drowning in one of his sweaters worn over her shirt. She had made coffee and they sat together on the sofa watching the last of the sun’s rays fade into the horizon.
“Hendrik used to say this was the trade-off,” Cindy said. “The long Alaskan twilight followed by the near permanent darkness of winter. He sometimes wondered if it was worth it for the summer solstice and the midnight sun.”
“The midnight sun is always worth it.”
It was true. Even though he no longer needed its light to shift, Sebastian’s body still craved the midnight sun. Nature’s paintbrush streaking across the sky at the moment when dawn and dusk were one . . . it was in his blood. He wondered if there was something about the contrast between the harshness of the Arctic environment and the fairy-tale gleam of the midnight sun that enhanced the connection. In the same way that the ruggedness of other werewolves was softened by the call of the moon. Whether it was true or not, the midnight sun acted like a pastel balm, soothing and relaxing his soul.
Hendrik had not been a member of the brotherhood at the time the goddess had granted her gift. He had needed the unique light of the midnight sun to shift, which was why he had made his home here, close to the midnight circle, yet still within reach of civilization. It was, as Cindy had just said, the ultimate Arctic werewolf trade-off.
“It doesn’t get any easier, does it?” He heard the raw emotion in his voice and tried to get it under control. Why was he doing self-pity when it was so much harder for her than for any of them? “Six months and it still feels like he’s going to walk back in the door.”
Cindy’s eyes brightened with tears. “But he isn’t.”
“Oh hell, Cindy. I’m sorry.” He took her coffee cup from her and set it down on the table. Placing an arm around her shoulders, he drew her close. “That was stupid of me.”
She shook her head. “I don’t need to hear it out loud to know it’s true. None of us do.”
Her head was resting on his shoulder and her curls tickled his chin. How many times had he dreamed of this? Cindy in his arms. Her honeyed scent invading his nostrils, her sweet weight pressed up against him, the delicious curves of her body just inches from his touch. He should fight the overwhelming temptation to do something about this . . .
Instead, he reached out a hand and gripped her chin, tilting her face up to his.
Chapter Three
Being in Sebastian’s arms was everything Cindy had dreamed of for the last four years. He couldn’t know how much she wanted this to be more than friendship. Their lips were inches apart and his gaze burned into hers.
For the first time ever, she allowed herself to hope. There had been glances and touches over the years, but she had pushed them aside. He had believed she was with Hendrik and she knew his werewolf code would never allow him to get past that. And she wouldn’t have let Hendrik down by publicly shattering the illusion they had built. Anyway, she could never have believed that this glorious man would want her. But now, looking into the amber depths of his eyes, she could see exactly how much he wanted her. It wasn’t just wanting. It was hunger. Raw and primal. The depth of his need scared and excited her at the same time.
She decided she could either stay scared or do something about it. Twisting slightly in his arms, she pressed her lips to his.
And that simple action lit a flame that had been waiting four years for this moment. It raged out of control in an instant. Sebastian crushed her hard against his chest, his mouth swooping down on hers. As his tongue slid between her lips, Cindy melted into him. His fingers tangled in her hair and her whole body ignited. Tendrils of fire snaked along her nerve endings, hardening her nipples and making the pulse between her legs throb wildly. As his hands slid under the layers of her clothing and his stubble rasped her face, she murmured with pleasure.
She ran her hands over the smooth muscles of his shoulders, moving lower to trace his taut chest and the well-defined ridges of his abdomen. He tasted like heaven and felt like all her dreams come true. In her half-sitting, half-lying position, she could feel the hard ridge of his erection pressing into her side. She wanted more.
She sensed it took a huge effort for Sebastian to catch hold of her hand as she moved it lower. “We need to talk about this.”
“Hmm?” She tried to focus. What was there to talk about? For the first time in her life, she could feel genuine arousal. It was a heady sensation and she wanted to hold on to it. If they started talking, it might go away.
“Cindy, we’ve been friends for a long time . . .”
She sat up straighter, huddling into the baggy sweater. These were the words she didn’t want to hear. The start of the speech that ended the magic before it had begun. A frown descended on Sebastian’s brow, but before he could say any more, a single, doleful howl echoed through the night. It was close. Possibly just feet from the cabin.
“What the . . . ?” Sebastian sat up straighter.
“Is it a wolf?”
Before he could respond, there was an answering cry. Then another. Within a minute, a chorus of wolf howls was echoing around the valley.
Cindy shrank closer to Sebastian. “What’s going on?”
“Fuck if I know.” Taking her hand, he went to the window and looked out. Fearfully, Cindy peered into the lowering darkness. The light over the front porch illuminated the scene. The cabin was encircled by huge gray wolves. Sitting as still as statues, they were staring directly at her and Sebastian. “There are at least fifteen of them. They are not usually aggressive to humans, and they would never approach a werewolf. This is not normal behavior for them.”
“Could they be looking for food? You brought raw meat with you. Maybe they can smell it.”
Cindy knew it was a long shot even as she said it. She had lived with Hendrik for long enough to know something about the environment he had worked so hard to protect. Wolves were common in Alaska, particularly in nonurban areas. Although there were rare instances of aggression against people, those attacks happened in the open, usually when the wolf was desperate. Wolves didn’t seek out humans in their homes. And this many wolves in one place? This was much larger than an average pack. No, Sebastian was right. This wasn’t normal.
“This is about us.” His expression was grim. “Your invisible watcher may not have followed us openly, but I have a feeling this is not unrelated to him.” As he spoke, the wolves moved a fraction closer to the cabin. Sebastian reached into the pocket of his jeans for his cell phone. “No signal.” He held it up to show Cindy. “You?”
She reached for her purse, which she’d left on the table, and withdrew her own phone. “Nothing.”
“I’ve never had that problem here before.” Sebastian ran a hand through his hair in a gesture of frustration. “I would never have brought you from one dangerous situation straight into another.”
“You don’t need to tell me that.” It was true. She trusted every member of the brotherhood, and she had absolute faith in Sebastian. “But what do we do now? Sit it out? Hope they go away?”
“I don’t think they’re going anywhere.” Sebastian returned to the window. “And I don’t think they are going to remain passive for much longer.”
“Can you fight them off?” Cindy had seen the brotherhood in action. It was an impressive sight. When the Arctic werewolves fought, they were fast, deadly, and well trained. Even so, this situation would mean Sebastian fighting fifteen feral wolves. It was hardly an even match.
“We might be able to do it together. Normal wolves don’t like to engage with werewolves.” He turned to face her. “That’s if you’re ready for this?”
A cold hand of alarm stole around Cindy’s heart and squeezed it tightly. This was what she had been dreading for all these years. Throughout the time she and Hendrik had pretended
to be a couple—to be mates—she had lived in fear of a moment like this. When someone would innocently ask her a question she wouldn’t be able to answer. To do or say something that would reveal she was a fraud.
But why did it have to happen now? When we are facing the most extreme danger? Well, there is no hiding from the truth . . .
“There’s just one problem with that plan.”
Sebastian turned away from the window with a frown. “What’s that?”
“I’m not a werewolf.”
* * *
“I’m not a werewolf.”
Sebastian stared down at Cindy for a second or two as he processed the words. With a group of hostile wolves ringing the cabin, he didn’t have time to ask the dozens of questions that were churning around in his head. But one thought persisted.
She wasn’t Hendrik’s mate. Does that mean she could be mine?
As monumental as that question was, he had to push it aside for another time. Mainly because he had a bigger problem to deal with. Like how the fuck was he going to stop those wolves from attacking? They shouldn’t attempt to come inside the cabin . . . but Sebastian wasn’t convinced. He had been on the receiving end of feral wolf attacks before. There had been one time when a pack of Siberian wolves had burst into Lowell’s home and challenged the brotherhood. That group of wolves had been under a spell placed on them by Chastel.
What if this pack was similarly enchanted? He wasn’t prepared to sit it out, cowering inside while he waited to find out. He might be paranoid, but this had all the characteristics of a Chastel attack. Those wolves seemed to be waiting for something. Instructions from their master? Chastel regularly used mind control over humans and animals. It was his trademark.
But maybe Cindy’s right and I’m seeing monsters where there are just hungry wolves.
There was a shotgun in the cabin. This far from civilization, it would be madness not to keep a weapon. In addition to wolves, there were bears in this isolated region. Even so, the brotherhood was fiercely protective of other species. Sebastian would never harm an innocent wolf if he could avoid it. No way was he going out there in human form and shooting without provocation. Nor was he going out there in wolf form and ripping into those wolves. Not unless he knew for sure they were hostile.