by Dessa Lux
“Now, what was that about?” Lir added. “You seemed all right and then... not all right.”
Devon winced. “I was just thinking about... how alone we are out here, I guess. But we’ve got each other.”
“Oh,” Lir sounded almost guilty, and Devon picked his head up to look at him.
“I feel a bit crowded sometimes,” Lir said, smiling crookedly and using one of his human arms to make a sweeping gesture toward the horizon. “All of my brothers are so curious about how things are going, every time I’m away from you and in the sea for a minute they’re all asking how you’re doing. And Caroline keeps threatening to come and visit again. Properly, she says.”
“Caroline?” For a moment Devon couldn’t place the name at all—he was, stupidly, mentally scrolling through his parents’ pack and people they knew—but then he abruptly remembered that first day with Lir. The first time he’d seen Lir’s tentacles, and made Lir think he didn’t like them.
It had all started with that golden-haired woman arriving on her ship, talking about taking him away, calling him pup.
“Oh,” Devon said, trying to fold himself tighter and smaller against Lir’s body. “Caroline.”
“Yes,” Lir said, packing just as much dread into the word as Devon felt. “She’s George’s wife—my up-brother, I think I told you about him? He holds a vast area, and his current is very strong—I’ve been taking a lot of plastic from him for the island, so he says keeping us supplied is only fair trade, but then Caroline is always putting her nose in too.”
“I guess we ought to invite them, then,” Devon said, instantly feeling the weight of pack and family responsibilities take the place of that panicked sense of isolation. “I mean, if they’re senior in the... the family, and we depend on them so much, we ought to.”
It belatedly occurred to him that their house was only one room plus a bathroom, which meant they had nowhere to host anyone that didn’t involve sitting in the same room with their well-used bed. Or would they expect to meet in the sea?
“Maybe we could work up to them,” Lir said, sounding no more eager for a visit than Devon felt. “You could meet one of my other brothers first. Maybe...”
Devon tipped his head back and watched Lir thinking, visibly struggling to choose another sea god to introduce Devon to. He wondered how strange it was that Lir had chosen a werewolf to keep, and that they were so hastily having a child. Would his brothers approve? Would they be rude, or cold?
“Maybe Mar?” Lir finally said. “He’s not really an up- or a down-brother, we run sort of cross-grained to each other along my southeast edge.” Lir’s arms tightened, and he added, “He won’t take you from me.”
Devon tightened his own grip. “No one is taking me anywhere. I’m staying with you. We’re staying with you.”
Lir grinned, that same startled-happy look that he always got when Devon reminded him of the baby’s existence. Lir’s grip on Devon shifted as the kiss deepened, and that was the end of talking about Lir’s brothers for a while.
*
A few days later, Devon found himself feeling overheated and restless after his bout of morning sickness passed. He ran a hand over his belly—he thought it was starting to curve out a little, although that might have been because Lir insisted on feeding him all he could hold at night to make up for him being sick in the morning.
Lir wasn’t home now—or at least, he wasn’t on the island. He’d told Devon to decide how many more rooms they should add to the house and where he wanted them, and had gone to... do whatever it was he did when he was gone. Devon sent him off with a kiss and a smile, but the island was too big and empty without him, too full of places where he might not see Lir come ashore. Nowhere felt quite right, not the grassy hills or the reed beds where the water ran up to his ankles, not inside the house or outside it.
He stood for a while on the bare sand near the house, trying to picture more rooms, but all he could think of was that he wanted to grow flowers here, and maybe a vegetable garden. That would take proper soil, though, and maybe nothing would grow so near to salt water. He felt his eyes prickling with the threat of tears, and thought, Is this a mood swing?
But that thought just made him feel half-frantic on top of restlessly sad or irritated or whatever it was. If he didn’t even know what he was feeling, how could he know what he was doing here, with Lir, with any of this? How did he know this was what he wanted, or what he did want, or—
Devon turned on his heel and walked in long, stiff strides up to the north edge of the island, where mostly-bare sand sloped down to the sea. It had some actual shallows, where he still had island under his feet when he stepped into the water, instead of an immediate thousand-yard drop-off into the ocean.
He splashed out until he was up to his knees, and he could see the place where the clear shallow water turned suddenly dark. “Lir! Could we—”
Devon stopped short as Lir, gloriously naked and streaming water, stepped out of the ocean a couple of yards away.
There was another man—another god—beside him. This one was more broadly built, with weather-beaten skin. He had black hair like Lir’s, though it was longer and included a beard, as well as a hairier chest, and...
Devon looked away. This one was also naked.
Lir’s brother gave a low, rusty laugh, and said, “It’s all right, you can look.”
Devon cautiously glanced over, but thankfully what Lir’s brother meant was that he’d put pants on—black and tight, clinging wetly to his thighs, but better than nothing.
Lir was still naked, but he was never particularly good at remembering to wear clothes even when they were on the island for a while. Devon had mostly stopped noticing, since Lir was unbearably gorgeous whether he had clothes on or not.
“This is my brother Mar,” Lir said, looking worriedly at Devon. “He and I were talking when you called for me, and I thought...”
Mar snorted, shaking his head at Lir. “You are in trouble.” He nodded to Devon and added, “Another time, good-brother,” before he turned and slipped back into the sea. Devon had just a glimpse of something dark and sinuous under the surface before Mar disappeared altogether.
Lir was still standing there, naked, drops of water glistening on his golden tan skin. He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it up into messy curls, and Devon couldn’t quite remember why he’d been upset a few minutes ago.
“Warn me,” he said, as firmly as he could. “Before you bring visitors over. What if I was naked?”
Lir gave him a hopeful look and said, “Then I definitely would’ve told Mar to leave?”
Devon rolled his eyes, fighting a smile. “Actually I wanted to go swimming—I haven’t seen what’s underneath the island in ages.”
“Oh!” Lir brightened, reaching out a hand for Devon. Devon skinned out of his clothes first, while Lir waited for him. “There’s a whole new kind of coral growing down there now—I’m keeping the plastic away, so that part can grow as a reef and not get suffocated...”
Devon was laughing as he finally held out his hand, letting Lir draw him into the water. He remembered how it had worked the last time, and shut his eyes as they stepped off the edge of the island into deep water. They went down faster this time, but it was still more like standing in an elevator than sinking. He felt the cool dimness close around him and opened his eyes, looking around through the little bubble of air that surrounded his face. Lir was right beside him, beaming as bright as the sun and holding on tightly to Devon’s hand.
It took a moment for his ears to adjust to being underwater, and in that muffled instant all Devon could really hear was his own breathing, and the beat of his own heart, sounds he normally tuned out.
There was something odd about his heartbeat, though—it had a small, quick echo, something tapping twice as fast as his own heart.
Devon’s eyes went wide as he realized what it was. “Lir!”
He grabbed Lir’s hand and pressed it to his belly, even though
there was nothing to feel yet. “I can hear it! I can hear the baby’s heart beating!”
Lir laughed in a rush of silvery bubbles and pulled him close, and Devon lost track of that quick, tiny sound under his own voice and the sounds of the sea filtering in as his ears adjusted. But that didn’t matter. He’d heard it, and he knew he wasn’t alone.
He peeked past Lir’s floating tangle of hair to see the underside of the island, which had entirely different contours than he had seen before, the dark roots thicker and extending down farther, the whole expanse wider and thicker than before.
“Now, where’s this coral?”
Lir kissed him—the taste of seawater came through Devon’s breathing-bubble on his lips—and then unwound from holding him. “Over here, come on.”
***
Chapter 11
Lir trailed after Devon as Devon prepared for Mar’s visit. He’d already tidied the house—including changing the sheets and spreading a blanket smoothly over the bed, as if that would somehow obscure its purpose.
Now they were outside the house, and Devon was standing a few yards in front of the door, looking critically at the sandy ground.
“We should grow flowers,” Devon announced. “Roses? Would roses grow this close to the sea? But we’d need soil for them, too...”
Devon was silent and still for long enough that Lir ventured to speak. “Would you rather wait, and have Mar over when there are flowers?”
Lir had no idea if they could grow roses, or anything else, in the ground around their house, but there was probably a way. He would find a way, if that was what Devon wanted, even if it was brute force unnatural magic.
“What? No, of course not,” Devon said, looking at Lir like he was being completely unreasonable. Devon had already spent half the time he was awake today either throwing up or crying; Lir thought it wasn’t unreasonable if he didn’t want to meet Mar on a day like that.
Mar wasn’t always... easy, especially about land-dwellers. His domain ran along the coasts of Ireland and Scotland, and Mar had accordingly formed a lot of opinions about humans, none of them very positive. Lir had more or less forgotten that until he was telling Mar about Devon, and noticed Mar mostly restraining himself instead of saying what he thought.
That was kindness, from Mar, and Lir appreciated it as he appreciated George’s easy generosity. But if Mar made Devon cry, Lir was going to kick up a hurricane.
He turned at a sense of presence, reaching out for Devon as he did. Devon turned with him just in time to see Mar stepping onto the sand of the north beach—not only clothed, but wearing a heavy black cloak that covered his entire body from his throat to the ground, and a ridiculous black hat with a bright scarlet plume. Lir stared, baffled.
Beside him, Devon broke into delighted laughter and clasped his hands to his heart. “My Lord Mar! Welcome!”
Mar swept a deep bow. Lir gritted his teeth, struggling to keep the waves around the island from rising to a height that would make his reaction obvious to Mar—but he still caught a rather pointed look from his brother as he straightened up.
“Thank you for wearing clothes!” Devon said, still grinning widely as Mar approached. “You probably didn’t need quite so many, but those are awesome.”
“Why wear clothes that don’t get a reaction?” Mar replied, swinging his cloak back over one shoulder to reveal black pants, tall black boots, and a white shirt only half buttoned.
“Did you flood out a costume shop?” Devon demanded. “Eat a pirate off one of those re-enactment ships?”
Mar shook his head. “For me to know and you not to find out, good-brother. May I hang up my hat and cloak somewhere?”
“Yes, yes, come in,” Devon said brightly, showing no sign of nervousness at all as he led Mar inside.
Mar paused in the doorway, turning back toward Lir. “I’m not after your pretty little wolf, brother. But with his kind—it’s worth making a little effort sometimes.”
Lir’s jaw dropped, and he flung out his arms to indicate the entire island he had built for Devon to live on. “You think I don’t know that?”
Mar shook his head slightly. “A little effort, Lir. They can’t live on the big things alone.”
Living was exactly what Devon was doing on the island Lir had built for him, and there were a thousand small things he did encompassed in that one big one, but Mar turned away, giving Lir no chance to argue further. He followed his brother inside, where Devon was waiting for them.
Devon’s eyes went instantly to Lir, searching, and Lir could see that he didn’t know what they’d been talking about, only that they’d kept it from him. Lir went to him immediately, drawing him into a quick hug, and murmured, “It’s okay, sunlight. Just Mar acting like he’s my up-brother.”
Devon gave a quick returning squeeze and stepped away from Lir, turning his attention back to Mar with another sunny smile. “Let me take your hat and cloak, I’ll just lay them on the bed. Lir, we’ll have to have a hat rack, if your brothers are going to visit us in such style. Maybe even a coat closet.”
“Yes, Imer’s hats put mine to shame,” Mar said seriously, though Lir didn’t think Imer had ever worn a hat in his life. He would probably come up with something if he found out that Mar had said so, though.
Mar offered his arm to Devon, leaving Lir to trail behind them as they went back out of the cottage into the sun.
“You’ve already seen the beach, so let’s take a look at our freshwater wetland,” Devon said, leading Mar along the stream.
Lir followed, torn between the temptation to push Mar away from his... his Devon, and the temptation to just leave them to it. Clearly no one needed him here at all. He barely listened to Devon’s descriptions of the island, and didn’t bother to fill in all the technical details of flow and salinity.
His attention was caught, though, when Mar said, “And what about your own people? Will they be visiting you here as well?”
Devon looked away, shrinking slightly as he did whenever that topic accidentally arose. Lir never asked him about it directly, as Mar was doing; it was perfectly obvious that Devon didn’t want to talk about it, and Lir could certainly understand wanting some space from family. He’d have happily banished Mar clear up over the pole and into the Pacific, just then.
But Mar was still there, still holding Devon’s arm, and after that first shrinking moment, Devon said, “I don’t know if they would. I don’t have any brothers or sisters. It’s just my parents and then the pack, which is...”
Lir took a quick step forward to set his hand lightly on Devon’s back, and Devon turned instantly to look up at him, his expression uncertain. As if Lir could somehow be displeased with him just for saying that he wasn’t sure of his family.
“I can’t imagine not having brothers,” Lir said, flicking a quick glance at Mar. “If I’d been my father’s only son, there would have been no one to distract him—I would have had to be terribly dutiful all my life. And it would have been lonely, having no one to share my borders with.”
Devon gave a tiny nod, and Lir was barely aware of Mar stepping aside to let Lir take his arm and stand at his side.
After another long moment Devon straightened his shoulders and looked over at Mar. “Well, I must thank you for letting Lir become who he is today, then.”
Mar snorted and shook his head, but he didn’t tell Devon that that was nothing anyone should be thanked for. He only said, “Do we begin to wade here, then?”
“Yes,” Devon said, turning his attention back to the island. “Other than being wet, it’s quite nice. Lir hasn’t imported any stinging insects yet, but we’ll probably have to have some eventually—once there are birds. I thought I saw one the other day...”
Lir stayed at Devon’s side after that, and Devon made no move to let him go.
*
Devon began to droop after making the full circuit of the island, chatting brightly with Mar all the time. Lir had already brushed the beginnings of sunburn from his
skin twice, and it was obvious that he needed to rest, but he only excused himself as far as a visit to the bathroom.
Lir turned away from watching him walk into the house to find Mar studying him with a serious expression that was more like the Mar he knew than the cheerful guest Mar had been playing for Devon for the last few hours. Lir looked back at him, trying to remember Mar’s usual opinions about humans, and where they came from. He didn’t know why he couldn’t remember; it was like there was a fogbank over it somehow.
“Father’s going to ask me about this,” Mar said, turning his gaze toward the northern horizon. “About Devon, and what you’re doing here with him.”
Lir glanced toward the house, then whispered fiercely, “He gave me a year! He can’t judge yet.”
Mar raised his eyebrows slightly. “Which is why he’ll only ask me, and not make any appearance here just yet.”
Lir scowled. Devon had given himself to the sea, not even knowing that it meant anything other than drowning, to escape his parents. Lir wasn’t going to inflict his own even if he had wanted to see Father, which he most assuredly did not.
“I think he’ll be pleased by what I have to tell him,” Mar added, sounding almost as gentle as he had with Devon, startling Lir into looking at him again.
Mar smiled a little. “I’m pleased, Lir. For you. Your Devon seems happy, and you’re obviously doing your best for him.”
Lir felt utterly off-balance, as if the deep currents had reversed. “You... you think so? You think Father...?”
Mar nodded, glancing toward the house again. “Have you told him anything about Father?”
Meaning, Lir realized, Have you told him about Father’s ultimatum? Have you told him that if you get this wrong you may soon be god of nothing, banished from your kingdom?
Lir scowled again, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter, he doesn’t need to know. You said yourself, Father will be pleased. So he won’t banish me, and nothing will have to change, and we can stay here. Devon doesn’t need to be worrying about what will happen if I’m sent away, or—or—” Lir couldn’t even think of how exactly Father might punish him, but by definition it would mean things changing, and not for the better. He shook his head. “I’ll get it right, and we’ll be able to stay just the same. So he doesn’t need to worry about that.”