by Meg Buchanan
He gave a sceptical snort. Her father trusted his friends too. “Do you still see him?”
“When he comes here he visits me.”
“Do you still fuck him?”
“That is none of your business.” Natalia turned away from the mirror and stared at him for a long while. “You don’t own me,” she said finally.
“Do you?” he asked again. When he was at school he only saw her twice a week when he came to her house for lesson. Since he’d been at university, he saw her even less often. She could be fucking a whole tribe of men for all he knew.
She stood abruptly and went to the wardrobe. She took out a robe and put it on. “I decide what I do with my body. No man will ever decide that for me again.” She tied the belt around her waist.
Jealously and anger bubbled up. He had thought he was special to her. Maybe he was just one of many.
And something had changed inside him. Wearing lingerie like last night’s pyjamas for an old man. Disgusting. Living with a man old enough to be her father and having sex with him for years so she’d have somewhere to live. Immoral.
And probably still sleeping with him whenever he came back to visit her. Unforgivable.
He didn’t even know if he still wanted her.
She seemed to sense the change in him.
“Will you play for me again?” she asked.
“Play?” He was puzzled at the sudden change of subject.
“The violin. There is one in the music room. I want to remember you like this. A young, beautiful Lion, playing the violin the way I taught him.” Maybe she wanted to store up memories before she said goodbye too.
“Yeah, I guess.” He was starting to think this could be the last time he’d be with her and if playing the violin was what she wanted, he’d do it.
Late Thursday afternoon, he and Natalia got back to Paeroa, and he dropped her off at her house. He stood beside the car and compared the house she had bought when she left this Tomas, or he left her, he couldn’t quite figure that one out, to where they’d just been staying. She’d left a palatial home and chosen a very ordinary one. He’d thought about asking her why, but Natalia had gone back to only talking about what was in front of them like she wanted to leave the past behind again. This holiday had been a mistake. They shouldn’t have stepped outside the rules.
He opened the boot and pulled out her bag. Hard to believe the way she’d been for the first few days they’d been away. Carefree and laughing. Her hair loose and hardly any makeup. Now back to the sleeveless black dress, the makeup and heels and her hair pinned up in a sleek bun.
He handed her the bag. “I’ll see you in September then?” He’d had enough of the past too. It created too many questions. Was he her only lover now? When she chose him, was it because he’d been so young she could control him after being used by the other men in her life? If she could banish him for six months, did he even want to see her again? All questions he wanted to ask but was afraid of the answers.
She took it and nodded. “Goodbye, Noah.” That sounded final.
“Goodbye.” He could sound final too.
He got in the car and backed out the drive. Before he turned onto the road, he looked back. She still stood on the driveway watching him. The last few days had been like they were on separate holidays. It felt like Natalia kept reliving old memories, and he wasn’t part of them.
Maybe whatever they had couldn’t survive them acting like a normal couple. He didn’t have time to worry about it now. He had to get home, pack a few things then head for Hamilton. The final run through before the big night.
Chapter Twenty-Three
They arrived at the pub about an hour before they were due to kick off. They’d been there in the afternoon to make sure nothing had been moved.
Harry met them at the door. “I am starting to wonder if there should have been a cover charge for tonight.” He walked with them through the main bar to the stage already set up with their gear.
“Why’s that?” Luke moved the mic stand a few inches to the side. Really, they were so ready it had only been nerves that made them come back.
“I’ve been advertising this all week and getting a good response. It looks like we’re going to have a crowd.”
“Did you use Facebook?” Cole came over to where they were standing.
Harry nodded. “And the radio. Can’t ignore the tried and true.”
“I wouldn’t worry about missing out on the cover charge then.” Luke gave up on the mic and jumped down off the stage. “If the crowd’s as big as you think it’s going to be, they’ll drink plenty. You’ll still make a profit.”
Adam came over to them. He’d been fiddling around with the control box with Collins. “We’re ready. I think I’ll go back to the flat and relax for a few hours.”
Luke nodded. He looked over at Noah. He’d been checking the tuning on the violin but really just killing time too. Nothing else to do. He put the violin on the rack with his guitars and joined the others at the front of the stage.
“Adam’s right. If we hang around here any longer we’re going to start fixing things that don’t need fixed.”
Luke pushed himself away from the stage. “I think it’s easier on the nerves when we’re running late.”
Tessa took his arm and lead him out the door. “Come back to the flat. I’ll find you all something to eat.”
Everyone followed Tessa out to the carpark. Before she got into Luke’s car, she turned back to Noah. “See you at the flat?”
He shook his head. “In a while. There’s something I need to do first.” He planned to make some changes to the way he lived, and he’d start with the way he looked. No more being the lion. He’d made the appointment before he left home. Rang his mother’s hairdresser in Hamilton.
He got to the flat about an hour later. The hairdresser had looked at the mane of hair. “What were you thinking of?” she asked doubtfully. He’d pointed at the poster on the window. He’d chosen short back and sides and longer on top.
He’d felt self-conscious when he came out of the salon, but he liked the effect. More grown up. Sophisticated even. He ran his hand over the back of his neck, it felt prickly, but it had looked fine in the mirror.
“Had a fight with a lawn mower?” Luke asked when he got back to the flat.
“Leave him alone, Luke,” said Tessa. “It looks good, Noah.”
Luke snorted. “Wear a hat tonight. You look like an accountant.”
The afternoon passed into evening, and finally the night kicked off. From the stage, Noah surveyed the main bar. He’d never seen the place so packed. Tonight’s performance had better live up to Harry’s hype.
The lights dimmed, and Luke stepped up to the front of the stage and did his usual introduction. They’d start with ‘Stardust’ the way they always did and then move straight to ‘Train Wreck’. He could see Collins at the control booth. The man must feel like a proud mother hen. He put Stadium together in the first place and had been there with them all the way through. It felt like tonight they were about to take the next step. He knew ‘Train Wreck’ sounded good. Whether it was great they were about to find out.
Luke stepped back, and Noah adjusted the cream fedora Luke had lent him then pulled the bow across the strings of the violin. ‘Stardust’ wailed out into the bar. A cheer went up. It had to be from their regulars. Maybe they were encouraging them. Cole came in on the drums and then Luke’s voice. They put on a good performance that warmed up the crowd. At the end more cheering and then a pause.
This was it.
He tucked the violin under his chin again. The lights went down completely, and then the single spotlight Harry had agreed to pooled light around him. He used the bow to produce the eerie sound of the train whistle in the distance and bounced the frog on the strings to get the train wheels rolling. He heard Isaac come in under with the second violin making haunting sound Eva had shown them. Cole moved in with a solid drum beat, and Luke murmured the first line of
the lyrics.
Perfect. Any movement in the bar had stopped and the faces of the crowd were turned towards the stage. He could see a sea of white blurs and the dark of the eyes.
Isaac lowered his violin and barked out the spoken lyrics over what Luke did. Noah had pulled back with the sound of the train. He couldn’t tell what the crowd heard. They left that in Collins’ hands, but they had them spell-bound.
He put all his wanting into his part. and the others were there too. ‘Train Wreck’ came together.
The hush from the audience went deeper as the violin faded out. A stroke of genius they’d come up with during the week. The train leaving in a lonely wail.
Noah waited for the reaction from the crowd. A sound no one had heard before sometimes takes time for people to get used to. Easy to forget he’d heard it a million times but nobody else had.
The hush in the room went on. Maybe it wasn’t as good as they thought. Maybe nobody liked it.
The spell broke, and cheering washed over them like a tsunami. More than he could have imagined. They all stood there and waited for it to die down. Maybe the quiet had been awe not puzzlement.
Then a yell for them to play it again started up and became a chant. It wasn’t what they’d planned. At this point they were supposed to swing straight into the rest of the set.
Luke turned back. “What do you think?” It looked like he mouthed the words. The noise coming from the audience made hearing impossible. He saw Cole nod. Isaac picked up the other violin and nodded as well. Luke stepped back up to the microphone.
“So, you liked that,” he yelled over the chanting.
“Yeah,” came back at him.
“Here we go again.” He looked over at Collins. Noah watched the old guy nod. He must have been ready to go again. The lights dimmed, and the spotlight bathed the stage in light. Even Harry had played his bit. He waited for Luke to cue him in, saw the nod, and drew the bow against the strings.
He put even more into it this time. Isaac came in, then Luke and Cole. They played it to the end with the same silence. The stillness from the floor and the same hushed reaction when they’d finished.
Luke turned back to Isaac. “I think you’ve done it,” he said. “This is going to make us famous. We’d better start learning the rest of the stuff you’ve written.”
Isaac grinned and nodded. Cole led into the next number in the set. They played it out to the end and then went to the break.
In the side room they found Tessa waiting with Jess and a few of their friends. When she saw them come through the door she ran across the room and threw herself at Luke the way she used to when they first started.
“That was so exciting.” Then she turned to Isaac and hugged him too. “You’re amazing.”
Noah grabbed a bottle of water and unscrewed the lid. Tess let Isaac go and looked over at him.
“Noah, you’ve met Dana, haven’t you?”
He looked at the girl standing beside Tessa. She looked vaguely familiar. Tall, skinny, the shy smile, but he couldn’t place her for a moment. He drank some water to give himself time to think.
Where had he seen her? Then it clicked. He didn’t think he’d ever spoken to her, but he seen her a bit at his lectures and tutorials over the last three years. She must have done the same courses as he had. In jeans and jacket. Dressed like an engineering student in fact. Not like someone going out for the night.
Tessa seemed to be waiting for him to do something, so he put the bottle of water down and stuck his hand out to shake hers. “Dana.”
“Hi.” She shook his hand then studied him for a moment. “You’ve had a haircut.” Well, maybe he had talked to her a couple of times, and in tutorials she seemed to have a brain.
He nodded and took Luke’s hat off, the hat band as soaked with sweat as his shirt. He wasn’t sure the hat had been a good idea. His hair was probably plastered to his head. She looked nice in her little dress with her hair up and a bit of makeup, cute in a down to earth sort of way. And you’ve had a haircut was better than the gushing and hint of stalking he’d got from Ash.
He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to come up with something smooth to say. It wasn’t that he wanted to repeat the experiment he’d tried with Ash. At least he’d have something to talk about with Dana, and if the thing with Natalia was over, he might as well get back on the horse.
The next morning, Noah rolled over in bed and grabbed his phone to check the time. Fierce morning light crept through the curtains, so it had to be late. But he couldn’t hear any noise in the flat.
Last night had been huge. It had been dawn before anyone got to bed. The celebrations at the pub, everyone wanting to talk with them, the girls, the noise. And then almost everyone had followed them home and kept partying.
Nine thirty. He’d had three hours sleep. Everyone else was probably still asleep. Might turn over and try that too.
At the pub Dana had waited with Tessa until the end and then come back here with him. She seemed as nice as she looked and easy to talk to. He’d never spent a whole night talking about road camber and bridge supports before. But what else would a couple of engineering students talk about? Then at dawn he’d tried a little peck on the cheek before she went home with her friends.
He’d see her tomorrow on campus. They were going to meet up for coffee. He looked forward to it. Being with her was easy.
He put the phone down on the bedside table, rolled over, and went back to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Four
They’d finished for the night. The pub emptied out. Noah followed the others into the side room. All the usual crowd of girlfriends, wives and odds and sods were there. They’d relax for a while before they packed up the gear they didn’t want anyone touching during the week.
He opened the fridge and got out a couple of bottles of water. Harry ran to a fridge for them now. A month ago, after they’d launched ‘Train Wreck’ they’d learned all the rest of Isaac’s new stuff and were playing that too. Crowds packed into the pub every Friday and Saturday night now. They’d had a reporter do a piece on them for the entertainment section of newspaper. They’d even done a couple of interviews on the radio. They were celebrities. World famous in Hamilton.
Cole and Isaac took a bottle each.
“Thanks.” Cole sat on the arm off the couch and had a drink. The junk Harry used to store in the room had been moved out. It even had a couple of couches in it now for their use.
Isaac sat beside Jess on the other couch. “We need to look at the end of ‘Take It All’, I don’t think it works.”
He watched Luke stretch and look around. Tessa seemed to have disappeared. “Yeah. Maybe this afternoon before we go home?”
Adam wandered over to the small bar set up by the fridge, found the ice cubes, and poured himself a whiskey. “Don’t change too much. I thought I’d just got it right.”
“Just a couple of chords,” said Isaac.
Noah leaned against a bench, took the top off his bottle of water, and had a drink. Each performance took it out of him. He might suggest to Adam he share his bits on violin and they take turns at it. He mightn’t sing or play the drums, but he could play the keyboard.
He emptied the water bottle and thought about getting another one. Dana had gone home for the weekend. Some family celebration, a brother’s birthday. The sort of thing he’d have to go to in a few months’ time if things kept heading the way they were. He liked her but was taking it slow. He didn’t want any Ash type disasters.
If you weren’t sleeping with someone but were with them, romantically watching the sun rising over the river and then wandering to the café nearby for breakfast seemed the way to go. So, early to bed in the weekends wasn’t an option.
At least he could get to bed tonight. Maybe when Dana got back he’d move things on so they both could get some sleep on Friday and Saturday nights. As he headed for the fridge again, Tessa came in through the side door.
“Noah, there’s som
eone here to see you.”
“Who?” He looked behind Tessa.
Natalia stood there.
Shit.
She came over to him hesitantly. “Hello, Noah,” she said and stopped before she got close as if not sure of his reaction.
Wasn’t she still meant to be in Wellington? No, she’d said she planned to stay in Wellington with Eva for a week. She would have been home since then.
Tessa filled the silence. “Natalia saw most of the show.”
Then Natalia glanced around at others. “A wonderful performance. I’m so proud of you all.” Everyone in Stadium, except Cole, had been her student at some point. Had she come to see him, or just wanted to see them all play?
Adam, Luke and Isaac did the polite thing and came over to talk to her. Noah just stood there. He thought when he’d said goodbye to her that was the last he’d see of her.
“Say something Noah,” said Tessa quietly. “She’s come to talk to you.”
Maybe it was him she’d come to see. “What do you want?” he asked her finally.
Natalia moved hesitantly towards him again. Maybe he should be a bit more welcoming. But he was shocked. They’d said goodbye. It was over.
“Can we talk?” she asked and gently touched his cheek with her fingertips. “I can stay until Monday if you would like me to.”
He rubbed his chin with the back of his hand. He could feel everyone in the room watching them. A fingernail dragged down to his lips.
So personal, that was something she did when they were making love. He glanced around the crowded room and found every eye riveted on them, then back at Natalia. She looked amazing. She always did. She had her hair loose, and the makeup looked softer. Her dress was still black but loose, and the hem flowed softly around her calves.
Natalia’s hand moved down to his chest. The shirt wet with sweat again, stuck to him, but he could feel the heat of her hand through the material. He could just about hear the chins drop around the room.