by Roxie Rivera
He had his suspicions about that, but he wasn’t about to voice them aloud. In the deep, dark recesses of his mind, he wondered if he wasn’t deliberately forgetting to wear a condom. That vulnerable, weak part of him that feared she would one day wake up and want a better man understood that a baby would tie them together forever.
“Do you have a preference?”
He shot her a look. “Shay, I don’t know the first thing about birth control.”
“Well, I mean, some couples want bulletproof contraception like an IUD.”
“No,” he said too quickly. “Not that one.”
“Why not? Kylee has one, and she loves it.”
“I had an experience I’d rather not repeat with one.” He still winced all these years later as he remembered the unexpected and painful pricking sensation of those fucking strings jabbing the head of his cock. “I was afraid to have sex with Amanda for weeks after her IUD attacked me that night.”
As if he’d just tossed a bucket of cold water on her, Shay withdrew from him. He lifted his head to get a better look at her. “What?”
Perturbed, she asked, “Really, Alexei?”
“Yes, really, Shay. What?”
“Maybe you could not talk about the other women you’ve fucked when you’re still inside me?”
Shit. He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth. Was he ever going to stop making mistakes like these? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Obviously upset and angry with him, Shay climbed off him and tried to escape the bed. He snatched her hand and prevented her from storming off. “Shay. Please.”
She tugged hard. “Let go.”
He did. “Running away isn’t going to make this better.”
“And staying here so you can regale me with stories of all the women you’ve slept with will?”
Sitting up, he insisted, “That’s not fair, Shay. Telling a story about one of them isn’t the same as listing all of them. You’re the one who mentioned IUDs.”
“Not so you could tell me about other women you’ve had sex with while we’re still naked in bed together,” she snapped back angrily.
“Why does it matter if I talk about those other women? You’re the one I’m with right now.” He cupped her face in both hands and ducked his head until he found her gaze. “Shay, I’ll apologize for being crass and rude just now, but I won’t apologize for my past. You knew my history when you got involved with me.”
She took a moment before saying, “It’s different now.”
“How?”
“Because now I know what it means to be with you,” she explained, her gaze downcast and her cheeks warm with what he realized was embarrassment. “What we just did felt so special to me and then you started talking about this other woman…”
“And then you didn’t feel very special anymore,” he finished for her. “Shay,” he said, his voice filled with regret. “Ptichka.” He brushed his knuckles down her soft cheek. “You might not be the first woman I’ve shared all these kinds of experiences with—but you’ll be the last.”
Her sad expression shifted right before his eyes. Her hopeful smile warmed his heart. Placing her hand atop his, she apologized quietly. “I'm sorry I flipped out just now.”
“Don’t.” He kissed her. “You were right to call me out for hurting your feelings.”
“Yes, but I shouldn’t have reacted like a crazy, jealous girlfriend.” Shay rubbed her face between her hands. “This is all so new to me. Maybe I’m not as emotionally prepared as I thought.”
“Shay, we’re having the most honest conversation I’ve ever had about a relationship.” Brushing strands of hair behind her ear, he said, “I think you’re more emotionally prepared than I am.” Trying to put her at ease, he teased, “I’m glad I finally got to see you acting jealous. I was beginning to think you might not like me very much.”
“Alexei!”
He captured her hand and tugged her close for a deep, lingering kiss. She melted into him, and he sensed that all was forgiven. But not forgotten, he thought as he stroked her hair and enjoyed her sweet mouth. He had to remember to be more careful with her soft heart. She had such a kind, innocent soul, and she was so easily injured, especially after the way her mother had treated her as a little girl.
Holding her gaze, he murmured, “You’re special to me, Shay.” He dotted a line of kisses along her jaw. “Don’t ever forget that.”
“You’re really special to me, too, Alexei.” Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, proving to him that her feelings were just as deep and real as his.
Not wanting to end the honest intimacy they shared, Alexei remained in bed with her as long as possible. He would have to grab breakfast at the dealership, but he didn’t mind. Shay’s tender feelings were more important than anything else this morning.
“Put that app on my phone while I’m getting dressed.” Alexei touched the fingerprint scanner before handing it over to her. “I expect at least three dirty snapshots of you today.”
“Only if I get three from you,” she replied with a saucy smile.
“Challenge accepted.”
Laughing, Shay leaned back against her pillow and tapped away at his phone. He returned to the bathroom and put on his usual suit. While he picked out a tie, he decided it was time to get rid of the penthouse. He needed to show Shay he was cutting ties with his past and starting a new life with her.
He stood in the doorway of the bathroom and slipped into his jacket. “Are you still planning to meet up with Kylee today?”
“We’re going to the salon.”
“Pick up the tab for her. My treat,” he added. “If you need extra cash—”
“Alexei, you gave me plenty yesterday. I’m fine.”
He could tell the money issue was still a touchy subject with her. It was probably going to take a few months before she was comfortable with their new arrangement. He decided not to push it today.
She slipped back into the T-shirt she had slept in and beckoned him to sit next to her. “Let me show you how this works.”
Sliding his arm around her waist, he watched her demonstrate the app. “It seems easy enough.”
“It only gets dangerous if you have too many contacts and accidentally send a snap to the wrong people.”
“Then I guess it’s a good thing you’re my only contact.”
“Probably,” she agreed. Lifting her phone high in the air, she cuddled up against him and snapped a quick photo of them. She checked her screen and smiled. “Oh! This is a good one.”
“Let me guess? That’s going to Kylee?”
Shay shook her head. “Nope. This one is just for me.”
He combed his fingers through her long hair. He wanted to ask her not to cut it because he loved it long like this, but he didn’t. “Please relax and enjoy yourself today, Shay. You need this.”
“I will.”
“Stay close to Stas.”
“I’ll stick to him like white on rice,” she promised.
He kissed her temple and pocketed his phone. “I’ll see you tonight.”
Halfway downstairs, the doorbell rang. He switched of the alarm and let Stas inside. “Shay will be down later.”
Stas followed him into the kitchen. “The boss wanted me to give you this.”
Alexei stared at the folded slip of paper Stas held and doubted he was going to like whatever this message was. He opened it and scanned the message inside.
B&B Steakhouse. 7 p.m. Make it right.
Scowling, Alexei suspected that Nikolai’s instruction to make it right was going to come at some expense. Walking over to the stove, he lit the message on fire and dropped it into the sink to burn. “Who am I meeting?”
“The boss didn’t think I needed to know that detail, but—”
“But?” He glanced back at Stas.
“But the boss says if you do this favor for him, he’ll do a favor for you. He’ll make sure that Shay is safe while you go out of town for your birthday.”
Plucking a K-Cup from the cabinet, Alexei asked, “Will you be part of the crew shadowing Shay while I’m out of town?”
“Yes. Also Danny and Boychenko.”
All three men were capable. She would be perfectly safe with three of Nikolai’s most trusted men watching her.
Alexei tossed a couple of ice cubes into his travel mug. “I’ll talk to Shay about it tonight. My flight leaves at noon tomorrow.” After pushing the lid on tight, he said, “The salon she’s visiting is under Nikolai’s protection. Vivian, Erin and all the other wives use it regularly and one of Nicky Jackson’s nieces works there so it’s neutral territory and on the safe list. You can give Shay some room today.”
“Not a problem,” Stas assured him.
Coffee in hand, Alexei left the house. He made it to the first stop sign before his cell phone chirped with an alert. Foot on the brake, he checked his phone. It was a message from Shay. Already grinning with anticipation, he opened it. A streak of heat burned white-hot through his stomach when he saw the snap she had sent him. The few seconds he was allowed to see the photo weren’t nearly enough.
Dropping his phone back in the cup holder, he continued on his morning drive. By the time he reached the dealership, he had made up his mind. It was time to say goodbye to the penthouse.
Scrolling through his list of contacts, he found Marissa’s new number and dialed it. They had parted on good terms, and he was happy to send some new realty business her way.
“Alexei!” She answered in that trademark husky voice. “I was just thinking about you!”
He doubted that very much, but he wasn’t about to be rude. “Oh?”
“Well I was just about to put my suitcases in the car for my Vegas getaway,” she explained. “Vegas. November. You. My mind tied it all together.” There was no mistaking the smile in her voice as she asked, “Dare I hope you’re calling about your birthday plans this weekend?”
He’d never taken a woman on his birthday trip, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to start with a former mistress. He tried to let her down gently. “I’m calling about a business proposition, not pleasure.”
Never one to back down easily, she replied, “Well, maybe if I’m a very lucky girl, we can make it a little bit of both.”
Alexei didn’t want to hurt her feelings so he changed the subject. “Do you have time for a meeting this afternoon? I’d like to discuss the penthouse.”
“Oh,” she said, her voice filled with interest. “I think I can make that happen. How about four?”
“That works for me.”
“I’ll see you then. Buh-bye.”
Alexei pocketed his phone and stepped out of his SUV. With any luck, he’d have the penthouse on the market in a few days and a sale before Thanksgiving. As he walked into the dealership, an idea for what he would do with the profit from the sale began to form. It would be a grand romantic gesture, maybe even a bit too over the top, but if any woman deserved a gift like that it was Shay. He was going to make damn sure she got it.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“This place is crazy nice,” I whispered to Kylee while clutching my mimosa. We were seated in the super luxurious waiting area of Allure and had already been treated to insanely delicious gourmet chocolate along with the champagne cocktail.
“It should be for the prices they charge,” Kylee whispered back. “Good thing your sugar daddy is footing this bill,” she added with a wicked smile and a bit too loudly.
Feeling the stares of the other women waiting with us, I pinched her arm. “Ky!”
“Sorry,” she apologized quickly. She looked embarrassed as she insisted, “You know I was just teasing.”
“I do.” I glanced at the elegantly dressed blonde sitting across from us. Her perfectly painted lips were pulled into a taut thin line. Her jewelry glinted under the artfully placed lights. I couldn’t help but stare at her handbag. Black Clemence leather. Gold hardware. The iconic shape and structure of the Birkin bag called to me, but it was a dream I would never attain. Even on the second-hand market, a pre-owned Birkin in good shape demanded a twenty-thousand-dollar price tag.
The elegant blonde caught me staring at her handbag and shot me a cold look. After Kylee’s teasing outburst, I could only imagine what she thought of me. Money-grubber came to mind. Even worse words circled around in my head. Sugar baby was the nicest of them—and I didn’t like it. Not one bit.
Another woman in the lobby sized me up in the same way. There was something familiar about her, but I couldn’t quite place her. She had beautiful red hair and striking blue eyes and classic fashion sense. She’d chosen a Chanel handbag and Jimmy Choos to complement her dove gray dress.
Suddenly self-conscious, I touched my neck and prayed the fading bruises I had painstakingly covered with fine layers of concealer and foundation were still hidden. I had chosen one of my nicer outfits from my meager closet, but it hardly compared. I glanced at Kylee who thumbed through a fashion magazine and sipped her mimosa. She fit so easily in this world, even after spending the last seven years watching it from the outside.
But me? Oh, I didn’t belong here. Not at all.
“Shay?” A stylist with knockout curves approached me with an inviting smile. The bold coral jewelry she wore accented the black dress that hugged her thick hourglass figure. Even without her heels, she towered over me.
“Hi.” I stood up and shook her hand.
“I’m Nisha. I’ll be your stylist today.” She waved at Kylee. “Hey, hon! Julie will be out in a few minutes. She’s just tidying up her station.”
“I’m in no rush.” Kylee sat back with a smile. “Take good care of my friend. She doesn’t indulge in beauty days very often.”
“Well we’ll have to change that, won’t we?” Nisha linked her arm through mine. “Come on over to the consult area, sugar. Would you like another mimosa or maybe a bottle of water or some tea?”
“I’m fine, but thank you.”
“All right.” She led me to a chair and sat down across from me. “So what would you like to today?”
“I think a trim,” I said, touching the ends of my hair. “Maybe some color?”
“Do you color your hair often?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t done it in almost two years.”
“May I?” She asked for permission to touch my hair.
“Sure.”
She stood behind me and examined my strands. “You have such gorgeous hair. It’s very healthy. When you say you want some color, do you mean something very different or some subtle changes?”
“Subtle.”
“Are you familiar with balayage?”
“Yes.”
“So let me grab some color books and we’ll talk shades, okay?”
We settled on soft caramel and toffee to complement my natural dark color. She combed her fingers through my hair as we discussed the upkeep and the haircut I wanted. It was clear from her consultation that she cared about my needs and satisfaction and wasn’t going to push a style or color on me that wasn’t right for my lifestyle. Feeling like I was in good hands, I finally relaxed.
After slipping into a smock, I took a seat at the color bar. The redhead from the lobby sat in the chair at the other end of the curved bar, and Kylee popped into the chair next to me. Grinning, she said, “By the time we leave here today, I want my hair so ice white I look like a Targaryen.”
I snickered at her Game of Thrones reference. She had been a lover of the books for years and had dragged me into the show practically kicking and screaming. Two episodes into the first season, I had been hooked. Ever since then, we had been sharing the cost of an HBO subscription and stalking fan sites for the latest updates and spoilers. “We’ll have to find you
a Khal Drogo if you do that.”
“Or maybe my Khal Drogo has already found me,” she muttered.
“Wait. What?” I turned in my chair and leaned toward her. “What does that mean?”
“It just means that it’s complicated.” She shot me a meaningful look. “Really complicated and really Albanian.”
Sitting back in my chair, I had a flash of that night in the motel and the guy from Besian’s crew who had been so gentle with her. What was his name? James? Jim? Jet!
I wanted to ask her if I was right, but this very public place was not appropriate for that conversation. I didn’t know how a relationship like that could work. Jet worked for the man who had basically ruined Kylee’s life. Dealing with Alexei’s history and his ties to a criminal enterprise were hard enough, but at least he was out of that life. Jet was still knee-deep in the Albanian mafia. His loyalties to his boss—to Besian—would always trump his loyalty to a girlfriend.
A platinum blonde built like a pixie stopped by the color bar to offer refreshments. Kylee insisted that I have another mimosa. With a designated driver waiting outside, I didn’t put up too much of a protest. Soon, I happily sipped away at another glass while Nisha sectioned my hair and began applying color.
Conversations swirled around me. For the first time in days, I felt the tension and stress that had been knotting up my neck and shoulders start to release. The champagne had a lot to do with it. Escaping from reality in this bubble of luxury and beauty helped.
But I couldn’t shake the guilt that pricked at my conscience as I enjoyed an afternoon of pampering. My sister was out there somewhere, alone and afraid, while I sat here drinking champagne and gossiping. It wasn’t right. While I understood that helping Shannon was next to impossible now, a part of me wondered why the hell I wasn’t crawling the streets of the city looking for her.
A shameful, horrible part of me knew why I hadn’t fought against Alexei’s decision to keep me safely tucked away at his house. Honestly? I was punishing my sister.
It was an ugly thing to admit—but there it was. For so many months, the resentment and anger inside me had been building to levels that had threatened to choke me some days. I had grown tired of supporting us both financially, of cleaning up after her and of worrying night after night that she was going to be hurt or arrested when she was out with Ruben.