by Ashley, Ava
“Well, wait for the fight to start!” The main fight should be a close one between Lance Palmer and Marcos Campos de Almeida. I wonder what the other women will think of it. MMA isn’t for the faint of heart. Maybe that’s why we’re really here. Rafe couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t handle this. He’ll want someone who loves the sport and what he does, and a woman who can handle seeing him after a fight. In high school, sometimes his face got bruised up, but nothing like these MMA fights. I even question how I’ll react to seeing that in person. I’ve watched a few of his televised fights. He walked away from one particularly brutal match with a bloody mouth and nose, and one eye swollen shut. It was hard to stomach. It’ll be harder to handle if I’m with him and have to see him like that, but I know how much he wants to do this.
I’m surveying the crowd and all the excitement when Rafe sits down next to me.
“Remember how we always wanted to do this?” he asks. “God, we were dreamers back then.”
I laugh and say, “But you did it. You belong here.”
He turns the full strength of his smile and beaming eyes on me.
“Remember how many wrestling matches I went to in high school?” I ask. “I loved watching you.”
His face softens, and I can hardly breathe because he’s looking at me like he did back then, so happy and in love. Could he fall in love with me again?
Suddenly Kara and Mel start screaming happily. They’re slapping at us and pointing.
I glance up to see Rafe and me on the giant screen above the ring. When I turn back to Rafe to smile at him, he leans over and kisses me. It’s soft and sweet, and suddenly over as he leans back and holds up his beer. Cheers break out around us, from everyone except the other girls in our box.
When the camera moves on, he says, “Speaking of dreaming, you said something a while back about the Ferris wheel. Remember how we used to pretend about that?”
“Yeah...”
“Have you ever gone on one?” he asks, leaning closer because it’s so loud.
I shake my head. “I didn’t want to without you.”
We’re almost close enough to kiss, our mouths just inches apart. I even forget about the other women and thousands of people filling the building, at least until Mel suddenly appears right beside us.
“Can’t I have a turn sitting next to you, honey?” Her voice is sweet but I know she’d probably scratch my face off if given the chance.
Our drinks come just then, and the first non-title fight starts.
“Sure, come sit up here,” Rafe tells her, indicating the chair on his other side. He turns his attention to the match after that. I can’t see Mel, and I’m happy about that. I want to enjoy tonight. But I still glance around and notice Samantha’s mouth twisted up like she’s disgusted. It could be because she’s not sitting by Rafe, or it could be because she doesn’t like MMA. The first fight is over quick.
“He should have kept wrist control,” Rafe says, a hand up in the air in exasperation. I know what he means—the guy let the other one submit him.
“He wasn’t ready for that match,” I say with a shake of my head. “No pro ever tapped to an arm triangle from half-guard. The guy just gave up.” Rafe glances my way, a little surprised at my comment.
“You been paying attention to jiujitsu?”
“Well, I watched all your wrestling matches in high school, remember? I’ve watched MMA since your career took off too. I’ve learned a thing or two about it.”
We watch three more prelims, discussing the fights over beers. I recall the other women, and especially Mel, saying they had watched Rafe’s fights, but they don’t have anything to add to our commentary. I get the feeling they haven’t watch MMA at all.
The title fight is gearing up to start and grabs our full attention. Rafe is completely absorbed and I can’t blame him. I do catch the other women trying to get his attention. It’s irritating but I ignore them.
The two men keep their distance at first but Palmer steps forward and jabs, striking Campos de Almeida below the eye. Campos de Almeida answers but Palmer stays out of range. They spar for a minute, and then Palmer gets the upper hand and gets him into a full mount.
Campos de Almeida breaks free. Suddenly he drops his hands, trying to bait Palmer into striking range. And Palmer goes for it, rushing Campos de Almeida. They’re both after the takedown as the round comes to an end.
I catch Kara saying, “Just a few minutes?”
“Huh? Oh...” She wants to switch seats with me and sit next to Rafe. I don’t want to give up my spot but I’ve gotten a lot of Rafe’s attention tonight. We switch spots right before the next round. Rafe and I are so into the fight that we’re not talking anyway.
I glance back and catch Mel sneering at me, or maybe Kara and me. Then I realize she’s actually making that face at the fight. Is it too much violence for them?
Palmer throws an uppercut and blood sprays from the other side of Campos de Almeida’s face. I can’t stop myself from peeking at Mel and Samantha as they grimace and turn their heads away. When I straighten again, I notice Rafe had glanced back at the other women and saw their reactions too. He and I share a brief look before focusing on the fight again.
Maybe the women will stop trying for his attention if they’re disgusted by the fight. Maybe they won’t even want to be with an MMA fighter like Rafe. That brings me a small smile.
Campos de Almeida uses a fake low kick to get in a right hook, followed by an uppercut. Palmer takes the damage and answers with a knee to the midsection to get back in control.
Kara’s talking to Rafe but I can’t hear her words, just Rafe’s loud laugh. I glance over but I don’t want to miss much of the fight. She has a vibrant smile. I have to admit she’s a good-looking woman with a great personality. She has dark hair, which Rafe likes. (So does Sam, but she apparently doesn’t like MMA—a requirement!) I could see Rafe falling for Kara, though. It puts me in a weird position, to say the least. I hope we can stay friends, but how is that going to work if one of us ends up with Rafe?
The truth is, whoever wins this show isn’t guaranteed to end up with Rafe. Sure, the winner is supposed to have a relationship with him, but does it work that way? I’ve watched these dating shows, and the couples never stay together.
But I still worry that Rafe might fall for one of the others. We’re just starting to rebuild our friendship and trust, but Rafe still has a few walls up. I watch him with Kara and realize I can’t turn my feelings off. He’s a big part of my past and even who I am, and he’ll always be in my heart. So what if I have to go on without him after this, knowing it’s completely, fully over and we have no chance?
The crowds erupts and I notice Campos de Almeida has side control and Palmer is fighting his way free. Damn, I missed a lot!
Rafe jumps up, a fist in the air, cheering. He holds there for a minute, not even realizing he’s standing like that. A full minute passes before he turns around. He steps around Kara and sits on the other side of me. “Having fun?”
“Yes. I like watching you and how much you get into it.”
He grins at that. A second later, we’re both focused on the fight as Campos de Almeida takes Palmer down in his corner. It’s already been a long and grueling fight and Palmer is worn out. I expect it to end here but Palmer flips Campos de Almeida over so quickly I didn’t even see how. Time is about out and now Palmer is in full control. I think he’s going for a submission win but he pulls back to punch.
“He’s going for a knockout!”
His fist makes impact and Campos de Almeida’s head falls back, limp.
Rafe and I are both on our feet as it ends. He suddenly pulls me close and says right next to my ear, “Meet me again tonight. Same time.”
***
I jolt awake, and then lie still, listening for the sound of Kara’s breathing. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep—I didn’t want to set an alarm that would wake Kara—but I was still tired from yesterday’s late night. But I
don’t hear Kara at all, and after another minute I pull my cell phone off the nightstand and check the time. Almost one. I slip out of bed and start for the door. There’s just enough weak light that I can see Kara’s bed... and she’s not in it. Where would she go at one in the morning? She might just be in the bathroom, and I debate if I should wait and see if she comes back.
There’s no time for that. I head out anyway, sneaking down the hall, the stairs, and the back door. I slip by the pool and hear Rafe’s short, quiet whistle to get my attention.
“Oh, hey,” I whisper back. He pulls me in and wraps his arms around me. I can feel his mouth against my hair. It feels so right and perfect to be in his arms. He has to feel that, right?
We walk out onto the beach together before saying anything else. The moon is still up so we can see to walk. Rafe takes my hand, and all kinds of questions pop into my head. He was very different last night, sitting by me and kissing me in front of everyone. Granted, we were on the big screen, but he wouldn’t have done that before yesterday. Is he ready for more? Did he work through his issues? Is he letting me inside his walls?
We reach the water’s edge and he says, “Let’s go the other way this time.”
“That was a great fight,” I say.
“Fuck! I know. My adrenaline’s through the roof. I’m back to training. I’m 100 percent again. And going harder and stronger than ever before. I can’t wait to get back in there.” His hand tightens on mine as he talks.
“You want that title bad,” I say, feeling it with him. “And you’re going to get it. No one deserves it more than you.”
“It’s not about deserving and luck in this biz.”
“I know that, but look at you. You’re stacked. And you train like a maniac, on top of all that natural talent. You got this, Rafe. I believe in you.”
He squeezes my hand again. “Thanks.” A minute later, he adds, “So how long do you have left in school?”
“A year, give or take a semester.”
“You must have taken time off for this show?”
“Yeah, I usually go summer term. Luckily this opportunity came up in time for me to plan ahead.” I don’t tell him, but I would have skipped a regular semester or even dropped classes to come to this. Some things are important, and I know I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t jump on the chance to win him back. I’d spend the rest of my life wondering what if.
“Lily?”
“Hmm?” I realize I got lost in my thoughts. He releases my hand, but instead of talking, he’s dropping his shorts. Somehow he had pulled off his tank top before I looked over.
His body is a fine sculpture of planes and muscle, and I let my gaze roam over his bare skin.
“Let’s go for a swim.” He jogs into the waves, the moonlight hitting his bare ass. I laugh. Why the hell not? I pull off my shirt and the rest of my clothes and follow him into the cool water. There’s a light wind and I shiver once, but the water feels nice around me. I’m waist deep in the ocean when I catch up to him. He turns to face me, and God is he hot. He could be checking me out, but the moon is behind him, glinting off the water and casting his face in shadows. Suddenly he falls backwards into a wave, going under. A few seconds later, he surfaces a little deeper out, and pushes his hair back.
I swim out so we’re both in up to our shoulders.
“It’s beautiful out here,” I breathe, turning to see the distant houses on the rise with a few lights twinkling here and there. I feel Rafe’s hand sliding up my arm and turn to him. His other arm comes around me, pulling me close, our bodies touching. Hot desire zings through me, making me ache for him. He hovers, watching my face. I take in the planes of his face in the soft light. His gaze is so soft and tender.
“Kiss me,” I tell him.
He doesn’t hesitate. Our lips meet and melt together, then his tongue teases along the edge of my mouth. I open mine to invite him in, kissing him back, sliding my fingers into his wet hair, pressing into him. I want him. I need him.
I love you.
His hands slide down to grab my ass and pull me against his erection. I pull a leg up and wrap it around him. He slides his mouth down my jaw and neck.
“I need you, now.” God, I can’t wait any longer. His fingers tangle in my hair and pull my head back. Suddenly he kisses me rougher than before, then pulls away with a growl.
“We don’t have a condom.”
My breathing is out of control and I can’t slow it. So it takes a minute before I can answer him. Even then, I’m not sure what to say. We could go get a condom but the moment is already gone.
Is that what he was really worried about anyway?
Did I ask that out loud? I couldn’t have. Right? Could he somehow sense what I was thinking? Feeling?
“Let’s head back,” he says just before gracefully shooting forward and moving into a breaststroke.
It makes sense to be smart and wait until we have a condom. He doesn’t want to worry about pregnancy or STDs... but part of me can’t help but feel hurt. I trudge through the water back to dry sand, slowly coming out of the waves as he dresses. He keeps his back turned as I pull and yank my clothes on over my wet skin.
We head back, walking side by side. I’m completely confused now. Rafe takes my hand, but he doesn’t say anything. I can’t bring myself to ask what happened. A little ways before the beach house, I notice him looking my way.
“I’m sorry, Lily.”
I stop. Why is he’s apologizing? Is he sorry that it’s over? Or that we couldn’t have sex right then? I’m not sure what really happened even.
It does make sense to wait for a condom, but I feel like more happened just now. The way Rafe shut down makes me think there’s more to this. We stand silently for a minute, then he steps forward and hugs me. His lips press into my wet hair and his arms tighten around me. I recognize the way he’s holding me. He’s struggling with something that I don’t understand, so I decide not to push it. I’ll just hold him for now.
Even after he walks away, I stand on the beach, numb. I feel like a fool—I realized I loved Rafe and then he rejected me. But I already knew I loved him, didn’t I?
Sighing, I turn and sneak back into the house. It’s perfectly quiet inside but suddenly the kitchen light flips on.
“Oh! Hey, Mel. Couldn’t sleep either?” I say as casually as I can.
“What are you doing?” she returns, and not in a nice voice. She’s in a long T-shirt and holding a glass of juice, so I can assume she wasn’t up to anything.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a walk. It helps me clear my head.” I fake a yawn and head for the door.
“A walk? Your hair is wet.”
“Oh.” I touch it, thinking fast. “I went swimming too. There’s a beach out there, after all.”
“Are you sure you weren’t stripping for Rafe out there?”
I swivel around, too startled to speak. Was that a reference to my past? And how would she even know that? I’d been worried Liam had dug that up when he dug into my past, but I hadn’t been sure. I’d told the makeup girl... and Kara.
“What are you talking about?” I ask. I should brush off the accusation, tell her I have no idea what she’s talking about, but I can’t reason past the panic swirling through my mind. If she knows about my past, it’s only a matter of time before she outs me on camera.
Instead of answering me, Mel laughs and saunters out of the room.
Chapter Four
Rafe
I down a Monster and pull on a pair of shades before joining everyone in the main room. I probably look like I’m coming in after a bender, but that’s better than the truth. And when did I start caring about what other people think?
I left Lily and went back to my house feeling like shit. I wanted her. God, did I want her. But I couldn’t let myself go there. We didn’t have a condom for one thing, but it was more than that. I’m still not sure we should take this any further. Yeah, we could have some great sex, but if that’s a
ll it is, we’ll regret it.
Lily and I have too much history and emotions between us to have just sex. I keep wondering if I can get over our past and just move on...
On the other hand, thinking about that night at the cabin, I know it’ll be awesome. It’s so goddamn tempting. I keep seeing the way she looked up at me in the moonlight. Damn. She looked fucking hot, and in love. She was offering me everything, and I couldn’t go any further. Because what if she is in love with me? What if I completely broke her heart?
Shit.
I decided to sleep on it. Then I had another nightmare. How am I going to get back in the ring if I’m this shaken?
Fuck!
It’s too much to deal with right now. I walk in and check for Lily, and spot her sitting on a couch by herself. Her hair is pulled over one shoulder and she’s wearing lipstick that really sets off her mouth. She’s holding a cup and I bet it has coffee in it.
She’s sitting with Kara but they’re not talking. Did something happen between them? I’ve heard about all kinds of little spats between different women, usually involving Mel and sometimes Heather. I watch until I see them exchange a few words. Is Lily upset over yesterday?
When Lily turns her head my way and sees me, I give her a small nod, trying to ask if things are okay. Despite how things ended last night, I like having our secret meetings in the middle of the night. They remind me of the times we used to sneak over to each other’s trailers as kids. We spent so many nights just talking until the sun came up. Until two nights ago, I hadn’t realized how much I missed that. Lily has always been a great listener, and time hasn’t changed that.
“Ladies!” Liam stands in front of everyone and gets their attention. They sit down to listen, and I lean against an empty couch. “It’s competition time again! Today’s challenge is a scavenger hunt. Items will be hidden in the house, the beach, and surrounding area. You’ll be working in pairs.”
“Do we get to pick this time?” Zuri asks.
“You’ve already picked. You’re sitting with your partner.”