by Marie Cole
I chuckled softly, remembering, "She called them the Jesus roses." I forced my eyes to Kent.
I felt my shoulders hunch forward slightly, the smile at the corners of my eyes slowly dropped as I stared at him. My lips were dying to kiss his. And my brain wanted my hand to slap him, for being so stupid. With me and with Jen. My mind and body were at war.
Kent chewed on his lip as he continued to stare at the roses. "Have you ever wished you'd done things differently, Elly? Like there was something in your life that you weren't sure if you made a mistake or not?" It was a simple question but one that was laced, at least for me, with dozens of what-ifs. The what-ifs that would drive me crazy if I let them.
"Of course." I looked away, feeling guilty for thinking about wanting to molest him. "Don't you?"
"There are a few things that I think about a lot. I wonder what things would be like if things were done differently. I wonder what my mom would be doing. I wonder if she'd still be playing cards with your mom every Friday or if she'd be like one of those women who travels everywhere."
I looked at him again, the lust gone for the time being at the mention of his mother, whom he loved very much. "You mean if you hadn't scared all those guys away?"
"Yeah. I kept holding on to a hope that my dad would come back, but he never did. Do you think if I hadn't, that we'd be friends? Would my mom have ever met yours? When I think about it, I feel sad for my mom because I was a little shit, but the more I think about it, the more I'm glad I did because I can't see my life without you in it." Finally he took his eyes off the roses and looked at me.
I looked away, unable to hold his gaze when he was being so emotionally fluent. "We would've met in school." I shrugged my shoulders softly, it hurt to even begin to think about a life without him in it at all. It had been hard enough essentially separating from him since we graduated from high school. "You probably wouldn't have wanted to hang out with me though. But it doesn't matter, the past is in the past. You've been away at college for a couple years now and your mom could've found a man if she wanted to."
"Elly, I--," his words were interrupted by his mother shouting through the kitchen window that over-looked the back yard.
"Hey you guys, either water the roses or get in here and help eat some of this food!"
Kent turned his head towards the sound of his mother's voice as his resolve shattered, whatever he was going to say was lost.
"I think the roses are fine, maybe we should head back inside because she's not going to leave us alone otherwise," he said.
I nodded and stood up. I could stay mad at him or I could let go and pretend like we were ten again. I decided on the later. "I didn't come out here for the roses anyway, I'm famished." I put a hand to my flat stomach and then punched Kent on the arm. "Last one in has dish duty!"
I took off running before he was even on his feet and reached the door only a split second before he did, my cheeks flushed, my chest heaving lightly from the brief excursion.
"Mrs. Lytle, Kent said he'd love to do the dishes for you tonight after we finish eating." I giggled and smacked at Kent's finger as he poked me in my side. "Knock it off."
Everyone was already seated around the table. They saved an empty space next to Jen and a single plate across from them that was meant for me. They all looked at us as we approached the table.
Kent ran his hand through his hair with a chuckle since everyone caught him teasing me. And for a perfect moment it was as if the last four years hadn't happened and we were friends again.
"Sorry, we were just talking about the roses you planted ages ago, Mom," Kent said as he moved over and took the seat next to Jen who wasn't smiling.
And as soon as I spotted Jen the moment was gone. I smiled at her, trying to reassure her that nothing fishy was going on, as I took my seat and put my cloth napkin on my lap. "The Jesus roses."
My mom laughed, "I haven't heard them called that in years. They were beautiful this past summer." She piled turkey on her plate and then passed the platter along.
"Those roses took lots of my time when I was younger, Mom. What did I do to deserve that, huh?" He asked with a grin as he took the platter from my mom. He put a generous portion of everything on his plate. He served Jen and then passed to his mother. I was the last to get the dishes as they were passed around.
Kent's mom snorted, "You used all the hot water every morning and you always got into the shower before I did, that's what you did."
Jen laughed, "Not much has changed. Kent uses up all my hot water too." Kent smirked.
"So, Elly said you two have a class together? Art?," my mother asked innocently.
Kent froze for a moment before he put some green bean casserole in his mouth, "Yeah."
I could tell by his pasty complexion that he still hadn't shared that information with his girlfriend. He'd kept me a secret.
Jen looked at Kent with daggers. And those daggers would've sliced right through his whole body if they'd been real. She didn't verbalize anything, however, I was sure he'd get the verbal beating he deserved later on at home.
I tried to dispel the tension across the table, "Art History, mom. It's only like fifty minutes and we're really just sitting there looking and listening to the professor describe the slides. But Kent totally aced his midterm so I'm going to have to study with him for the final," I looked at Kent, "if that's okay with you, of course."
Kent chewed at his lip for a moment as he avoided looking at Jen. He nodded slowly, "Yeah. The mid term was easy, but the final is going to be harder. We'll try to get you a better grade on the midterm." Kent smiled sheepishly, probably embarrassed that he'd been caught lying about me.
Kent's mom looked at Jen, "Are you alright, dear?"
Jen's gaze switched to his mom and her fake-polite-happy face came back. She nodded, "Oh yes, is your stuffing homemade? It's delicious."
The small talk around the dinner table continued throughout the meal and it was centered on safe topics like politics and other worldly current events.
After dinner Jen volunteered to help Kent clean up the dishes. Before dessert could be served I grabbed my coat and made my way to the door. I paused and looked at our two Moms. They had pulled out the photo albums and started reminiscing.
I smiled and cleared my throat, "Well, I'm going to head out. I'm working the dinner shift tonight..."
They glanced towards me and set the album down before coming over to give me goodbye hugs. "Elly, dear, it was so nice to see you. I'm still shocked by your transformation. You're still beautiful, but now it's easier for a stranger to recognize it."
"Thanks," I said softly.
My mom gave my cheek a kiss and then hugged me again. "I'll call you later."
"Okay, Mom." I peeked into the kitchen and waved from a distance, "Bye you guys, Happy Thanksgiving!"
Kent was standing there with Jen and judging by their body language they were in the middle of a whisper fight. Kent looked up and started to make a move towards me but Jen pulled him back. He raised his hand to me instead.
"Happy Thanksgiving, Elly. Thanks for coming."
Jen nodded her head as she gave me a courteous wave.
As I started out the door I looked back at Kent as he turned back around to finish working on the dishes. I noted that Jen's polite face was gone. Kent was going to get it good later. I only felt partially bad. He should've told her a long time ago. The confrontation he tried to avoid was coming back to bite him in the ass now. And he was a dick to me last week, so his ass deserved some punishment.
Chapter Thirty-Three
I hadn't had time to chat with Kent before or after class the week after Thanksgiving because I'd had extra band gigs for holiday parties. I was still struggling to get over the fact that Nate had dumped me. We hadn't been going out for very long but I'd been sure that he was the one. I was starting to wonder if I should trust my instincts at all.
The day before finals I blocked Kent's exit after class let out. "So, I reall
y need to study. Like today. Like, all day. And tomorrow...all day. Are you still going to help me?"
Kent looked up at me with a raise of his eyebrow. "So you're saying you want to cram as much as you can in the next little bit with hopes of getting a good grade, huh? I dunno, my schedule might be too busy." His finger came up as he tapped his chin and pretended to think.
Kent's serious face made way for a grin as he nodded his head. "Jen went to go help her mom for a few days since she has to gather her things. She's moving to New York."
I exhaled a heavy breath. "Thank God! So can we study at her place then? My dorm room is...well, a mess and she has a whole apartment..." I bit my lower lip and looked up at him with huge kitten eyes.
"Elly, stop! Don't you," He scowled as he exhaled. "Those damn eyes get me every time. Alright, but we're gonna need cram food and drink. You know what that is. Don't worry, when we take a break we'll go jog around the apartment or something to burn it off."
I shook my head. "Uh-uh. There is very little sugar is in this tiny little body. I'll have water and carrots. I'll even bring them. And coffee, lots of coffee."
"God, Elly. When did you turn into such a health nut?" his finger snuck out and poked me in the stomach. I covered my stomach and took a step back. "Coffee will work, and I guess I can go without the sugar. Don't want to tempt you or anything."
"Tempt me all you want, I won't cave. I have excellent self control."
It hadn't always been so.
Kent raised his eyebrow and offered me that damn boyish grin of his. It made me want to swoon. I had to get out of there. I shifted restlessly as I waited.
"Alright. Fair enough. Give me a hour or so then meet me at her apartment?"
I nodded, grinning like I'd just won the lottery, which I had. He was going to make an excellent study partner, so long as there weren't any video games at Jen's apartment. "Sure, see you in an hour or so," I said.
* * *
After stopping at the grocery store for baby carrots, a huge bottle of water, and a bag of coffee, I knocked on Kent's door. I braced myself, pretty certain that Jen would be on the other side, giving me the evil eye, and screwing up my study plans.
I exhaled a little breath of relief because when the door opened I only saw Kent in a pair of shorts, a tank top that showed the muscles he'd worked hard for, and his bare feet. He smiled, blocking the entry.
"Elly, I didn't half expect you to show. I figured you'd be with Nate instead."
I narrowed my eyes at him and shook my head as I moved past him into the apartment, the plastic bag with the large water bottle was heavy and starting to turn my fingers blue.
He still didn't know that we'd broken up and I wasn't going to mention it. He'd pity me and I couldn't take that right now. It was better just avoid the subject all together. I blinked back the sting of tears in my eyes.
"You think I'd choose making out over studying for my art history final?"
There was a short pause as Kent shut the door behind me.
"Well, yeah. I would." He chuckled and moved towards the dining room where he had his books and notes out.
I set my bags in the kitchen and then moved to the dining room table. I set my backpack in the chair and unzipped it as I pulled out my notes and stuff. I shook my head at his comment.
"I just...let's not talk about making out." I put my hand to my forehead and then moved my book bag to the other chair so I could sit down across from where he was set up.
Kent seemed a little confused for a moment, but he seemed to let it pass as he took his seat across from me.
"You know...it would be easier to cram if you could see my notes, because I take better notes. But if you want to stay over there I'll just push them over after I highlight them."
I looked at him, staring at him for a good thirty seconds before huffing and standing up again. I pulled at the neck of my sweater to get air down my chest.
"It's hot in here," I said as I sat down next to him and flipped my notebook to the beginning.
He stood up and walked over to knock the thermostat down a few degrees so the AC would turn on and blow some of that wonderfully chilly air out. When Kent returned he opened his notebook.
"We're gonna be going from Chapter 11 all the way to 22 for this final, mostly. There's going to be a few things from the first bit, but apparently the last half of the book is more important."
"Of course it is," I muttered, flipping my notebook until I found the right page. "Is that how you got your A last time? By making out instead of studying?" I had no idea why I was bringing the making out again. I guess I wanted to torture myself. Or get it into my head that he was definitely, absolutely into his girlfriend. Which he was. Of course. I cleared my throat and kept my head down.
"I said I'd rather make out, not that I did. Wait, how did we get back to making out? I thought you didn't want to talk about it?" He was chuckling as he highlighted things in his notes in front of him.
I peeked over his forearm and frowned, pointing at something he highlighted, ignoring the fact that he'd totally called me out. "The professor never said that."
My breast was pressed against the back of his arm near his elbow. Kent looked at the thing he'd highlighted. For a moment he seemed to be lost. He was probably just thinking about making out with Jen. I pulled back from his arm and waited for his answer.
"He hinted at it so I made a note to research it. It's probably nothing, but I figured I'd be safe."
I scoffed. I was amazed how he could pick up on the professor's possible hints but not my own throughout the years. Maybe because the professor was a man. I nodded and leaned back, making a note of it myself.
"So was it bad?" I asked.
"Was what bad?" He highlighted some more.
"Whatever punishment Jen dished out for not telling her about Art History? It looked like she'd slapped you or something the first day we were back. Your face was all red." I continued making notes, highlighting what matched his, filling in what didn't. "Did she hit you?" I snuck a glance and noticed that his cheeks had turned a little red from the question.
I furrowed my brow. Did she really beat him up? If she did, I'd slap the shit out of her. I was about ready to protest when he spoke up.
"Jen gets a little physical sometimes." Kent took the time to chew on his lip. "Especially when she's drinking. But uh, no, she didn't hit me."
My pencil hit the notebook as I continued to stare at Kent's burning cheeks.
"What did she do to you then? I didn't imagine it."
Kent's eyes lifted from his notes and looked at the book on the table in front of him.
"It was a friction burn..."
"A friction burn from what?"
There was a short pause as his cheeks seemed to burn a little more.
"She held my hair with her hands and was grinding on my face with her..." His voice dropped out, leaving me to fill in the blank.
It was my turn to blush and I picked my pencil back up, "Oh. Okay, next time just tell me that it's private and none of my business."
I started to write again, eyes moving between his book and mine. So she punished him with her boobs? First of all, that didn't seem like that bad of a punishment, Kent loved boobs. And secondly, how long would she have had to do that to leave a burn on his face?
My pencil paused mid-word and I looked at him again, the blush still present, "I didn't think boobs would leave that kind of irritation." I shook my head and looked back to my notes, "Hmm..." I finished the word and continued on.
"Not boobs," Kent blurted out, shaking his head. "Alright, I'm gonna grab some water and turn the AC down a little more."
I watched him get up, still trying to figure out what Jen would've done to him. I still hadn't figured it out by the time he came back to his seat. "If it wasn't her boobs then...?"
Kent pulled in a breath after he'd sat down and put the water on the table. "Her vagina, Elly."
I pressed my lips together, staring at the wate
r and slowly nodded, "Right, yeah, of course, I'll be right back..." I got up and went to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.
I stared at myself in the mirror, my cheeks were bright pink. I shook my head at my reflection, my hands gripping the sides of the counter. I whispered to myself, "Feel better now, Elly, now that you've bullied that out of him? Now you'll forever have the image of him with his head between her..." I cringed and felt my lunch rising up to my throat. It burned as I turned around and vomited in the toilet. "Oh god." I moaned as I flushed, my eyes closed against the contents being washed away. "Stop thinking about it..." I scolded myself softly.
There was a knock at the door, Kent's voice floated through it. "You okay, Elly? Do I need to hold your hair?"
I pressed my lips together, hoping he hadn't overheard me talking to myself. "Um...no, I'm fine. I'll be out in a--" The image came back into my mind again when I thought about hair and I bent over the toilet and vomited some more, it was louder this time, not much was left in my stomach at that point.
I heard the door open and Kent's feet padding on the tile floor as he came into the bathroom. He pulled the hair out of my face and held it with one hand as the other ran up and down my back. It was an annoyingly comforting feeling.
My hands were on the rim of the toilet, trying to hide what was in there from Kent's eyes. I flushed quickly and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe at my mouth.
"Kent, I'm fine, really." I said softly, throwing the paper into the water. My eyes were still closed, I wasn't sure I could do this. I wasn't sure I could look at his face. Maybe this was what I needed to finally be completely over him. He clearly loved Jen to let her do that to him. Especially long enough to leave a burn!
"You know how many times I've seen your vomit, Elly? It's no big deal. When you think you're done you can lay down on the couch for a little bit and I'll highlight your notes for you."
The soothing feeling of his warm hand on my back sent shivers up my spine and gave me goosebumps, I fought them back, chalking it up to the AC being turned on. I looked down at my sweater and cursed and when I caught sight of the vomit there I vomited again, retching loudly into the toilet. I moaned softly, "I need water, please."