Lost Between

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Lost Between Page 6

by Shawn Lane


  “Hi, Curtis.” Aaron smiled just a little.

  Curtis clenched his eyes tight and then struggled to his feet. “You did it. You’re out of me.”

  “I could always come out of you. I just…I wanted to be part of you. Part of a living body again. Even for a short time.”

  Tears pricked his eyes. His heart hurt, his head pounded. “It’s not fair. I want you to be alive.”

  “I know. But I don’t get any miracles. There is no happy ending for me, Curtis.”

  He nodded, unable to speak.

  “Thank you for helping me,” Aaron said. “I didn’t want to remember, to think it was Colton.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Me, too. It was hard watching the police take him away. I didn’t want my parents to have lost two sons. But I was going to stay lost between two worlds if I didn’t face the truth. Remember it. Five years of wandering, being nothing. It’s just…I’m relieved. But I don’t want to leave.” Aaron’s sigh was sorrowful. “It’s hard.”

  “Zane will take care of them, I think. He seems like a good guy. Remember when you wanted me to touch you?” Curtis asked, his throat raw with the tears he couldn’t seem to stop.

  “Yes.”

  Curtis took a few steps and wrapped his arms around Aaron. He didn’t feel exactly solid, but he wasn’t holding air either. It was like holding onto energy. Aaron’s arms came around him.

  “It’s all right, Curtis. This is how it’s meant to be. I don’t want to leave my life, Robbie, my family, you, but it’s time. I need to.”

  He just held on. How did you say goodbye to someone who’d just been a part of you and you him? He would never be the same. He couldn’t wrap his mind around knowing Aaron’s own brother had shot him in the back. Aaron deserved better.

  Aaron gently released him. “Curtis.”

  “What about Robbie?”

  “I want him to be happy. If that can be with you, I’ll be very happy.”

  “We don’t even know each other, not really,” Curtis whispered.

  “I know, but you can change that. Robbie’s the best.”

  “He’s going to be mad he didn’t get to say goodbye.”

  Aaron shook his head. “I can’t, Curtis. I can’t do it.”

  He wiped tears off his cheek. “I’ll never forget you.”

  “Don’t. Do me a favor, Curtis?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Live. No matter what, live a full life. Live every damn day like it’s your last. Whatever happens with Robbie, whatever happens with you, don’t take any day you’re alive for granted.”

  Curtis could only nod.

  “Promise.”

  “I promise.”

  “Goodbye, Curtis Macintyre.”

  Aaron’s ghostly figure slowly faded away.

  He stood there looking at the empty air for a long time. He was aware tears were still streaming down his face, but he let them flow.

  Eventually, he moved, knowing Aaron wasn’t going to magically reappear. Magically be alive. He’d been killed by his own brother five years ago.

  * * * *

  “Hey,” Curtis said, brushing the hair back from Robbie’s forehead as he stirred in Curtis’s arms. He’d gone back to bed after Aaron left and slept next to the younger man.

  “Is it morning?” Robbie asked, rubbing his eyes.

  “Yeah, it is.”

  Robbie nodded and went silent. Then after several minutes, he whispered, “He’s gone, isn’t he?”

  Curtis kissed his forehead. “Yeah. I’m sorry. He didn’t want to wake you.”

  “It’s okay. I knew it would happen.”

  “Is it…is it like losing him all over again?”

  “No. I said my goodbyes five years ago. I wish things had been different, of course I do. I wished Colton had never killed him. We’d still be together today. I know that. But it’s all right. I’m glad he’s gone to where he’s supposed to be. Heaven, I’m sure.”

  He smiled. “I’m sure, too.”

  Robbie scooted back from him, gazing at him. “Where does that leave us?”

  “Good question,” Curtis acknowledged. “This has been one hell of a few days.”

  “It has.”

  “I’d like to keep seeing you, Robbie. See where this goes. Between you and me.”

  “Without Aaron.”

  He nodded. “Yes. If you want the same. I don’t want to pressure you.”

  “I’d like to try. I like you, Curtis. What I know of you.” Robbie placed a light kiss on Curtis’s lips. “Are you going to stay here?”

  “In the apartment? Honestly, I don’t think so. This place is too—”

  “Haunted?”

  “Filled with Aaron. I can’t forget him.”

  “Neither of us will,” Robbie said softly.

  Epilogue

  One Year Later

  Robbie waited at a corner table in a little Italian restaurant on the outskirts of San Francisco. He still had several minutes to wait so he pulled out the brochures he seemed to be reading a lot lately. God, it was a big step. Were they really ready for that?

  “Hi, sweetheart,” Curtis said, sliding into the booth next to him. He kissed Robbie deeply.

  “You’re early!”

  Curtis grabbed his hand. “I didn’t want to spend one more minute away from you.”

  Robbie laughed, happiness bubbling up inside of him. “You’re getting downright sappy. But I like it.”

  “I know,” Curtis said. “I’m feeling downright sappy. Have a good day at the salon?”

  “Yep. Jose is thinking of expanding.”

  “Expanding?”

  “Yeah, opening a second salon on the other side of the city. He’s thinking I can manage that one.”

  “That would be great, sweetheart. If that’s what you want.”

  Robbie nodded. “I would love it. Did you get the book done?”

  “And off to my agent.”

  “I heard from Zane today. Colton’s trial is coming up.”

  Curtis nodded. “How’s he holding up otherwise? I saw the news article on him coming out.”

  Robbie had told Curtis early on in their relationship about the night he spent with Zane and how Aaron’s brother had hid his sexuality for years.

  “He’s okay. He’s seeing someone, so he’s hopeful.”

  Curtis picked up the brochures. “So, we’re going to, huh?”

  He bit his lip. “I want to. Do you?”

  Curtis’s smile lit up his face. “I do. But on one condition.”

  “What’s that?” His heart racing, Robbie’s gaze fell to the brochures about surrogates. It was a big step deciding to have a child. It was such a commitment. To a child, to each other. It felt right, though. Very right. For the first time in a long time, Robbie knew what he had with Curtis was the real thing, the perfect thing.

  “I think we should name the baby Aaron.”

  Robbie’s gaze flew to Curtis’s. “Really?”

  “Definitely. It’s because of Aaron that I have you. I owe him more than I could ever repay in a lifetime.”

  He nodded. His heart was fair to bursting with love. “What if the baby is a girl?”

  “I think we can then use the female spelling, Erin.”

  “You’ve thought of everything,” Robbie said, his face nearly splitting from the grin he couldn’t prevent.

  “I have. Well, are we agreed?”

  “We are.” Robbie picked up his iced tea and then put the glass of water also on the table into Curtis’s hands. “To Aaron.”

  Curtis clinked glasses. “To Aaron.”

  THE END

  ABOUT SHAWN LANE

  Shawn Lane is a multi-published author of gay romances and believes love and passion know no boundaries. Happily Ever After is for everyone.

  She has been published by Loose Id, Ellora's Cave, Amber Quill Press, Dreamspinner Press, and Evernight Publishing.

  Shawn lives in California and holds down a boring day job i
n a legal department of a giant corporation dreaming of the nights and weekends when she can create new stories.

  For more information, visit smlgr8.blogspot.com.

  ABOUT JMS BOOKS LLC

  JMS Books LLC is a small queer press with competitive royalty rates publishing LGBT romance, erotic romance, and young adult fiction. Visit jms-books.com for our latest releases and submission guidelines!

 

 

 


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